posted April 07, 2015 06:28 PM            

But this time it's the exact opposite.
He makes me feel very uncomfortable and annoyed.

This person is very much into me, obsessed with me and thinks we're meant to be together.
However, I feel the need to keep myself away as much as possible. I don't think I've ever felt such a strong aversion to anyone before and felt the need to avoid them so much.

In the beginning it felt nice, We had a good rapport and I felt I could talk to him freely. We both went through heartbreaks some months back and were therefore able to sympathize with one another.

But within a week this friendship turned very extreme. He came on to me too strong and told me he loved me. He thinks we're twinflames.
It makes me very uncomfortable how much he glorifies me and puts me on a pedestal.
While overtime I am finding myself becoming more and more annoyed with him.

It's been a month since I've known him now, and he texts me multiple times every day. I told him gently that I wasn't interested, but he just doesn't get it.
Not sure what to do about him anymore.
I don't want to hurt his feelings either.

But if I tell him that I need space or I'm busy and such, he would try to guilt trip me and emotionally manipulate me into feeling sorry for him.
I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with him. :/

What is it in our synastry that could explain this strong, one-sided attachment?

I'm inside, he's outside.

posted April 07, 2015 06:48 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by page one:
Moon and Mars conjuncting Juno and opposing the Sun? I can see why you're annoyed.

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Hi page,

posted April 07, 2015 07:05 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Neptunian Venus:
Hi page,

Why is that an indicator for annoyance?

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Heavy Mars aspects are like that. You can want to tear their clothes off, punch their face or both.

posted April 07, 2015 07:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by astra7:
Extream and aversion you are describing must come from Venus sq Pluto. Then annoyance comes from Sun opp. Mars. Your SN opp. his Moon which made you feel familiar at the beginning but you soon turned off. His Saturn on your DSC must be too heavy too.

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Yes I suspected our Venus-Pluto square had something to do with it.
It's funny though because Pluto is my 4th house ruler, I should feel comfortable with it, but apparently that's not the case here. maybe because it's a harsh aspect.

posted April 07, 2015 07:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by page one:
Heavy Mars aspects are like that. You can want to tear their clothes off, punch their face or both.

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right. However I find him extremely gross so no, I don't want to rip his clothes off. But a punch the face as a reality check? Certainly.

posted April 07, 2015 07:31 PM            

You have this and a lot going on on your IC which is a super personal point like one's underwear lol

It seems that when a person's Nessus touch personal parts of the other person's chart, there can be revulsion.

I have seen this with Nessus/Sun but Nessus can, also, make for super attraction, too, so it may be something that can play out both ways, perhaps.

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posted April 07, 2015 07:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Vajra:
Astrology aside, I think this^ behavior of his is the reason for your revulsion…which means, had he not come on so strong, you might perhaps have liked him a lot more. I guess he may be (unconsciously) looking for a rebound, and you may not be ready yet for a new relationship, and thus your alarm goes off…understandably. Who wants to be on a pedestal?

OT but your story is a good example of the psychological damage the "twinflame" label can sometimes do - by making people obsessive and scaring others. Interesting that here, the man is the chaser (and perhaps he thinks you are "running" from the intensity, not running from him). Ugh

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Yes that behaviour put me off very much.
It's also the fact that he doesn't do anything with his life but sits at his computer all day. No work, no college/uni/school, lives with his parents and doesn't have any passion/ambitions he tells me.
He told me I have become his hobby now. O.O
I don't want to be with a man like that.
I want someone who is active and independent, has his own life, his own identity, and preferably a visionary/artist like me so we can collaborate and work together
But this guy just doesn't get it at all...

posted April 07, 2015 07:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
His Moon opposes your Nessus.

You have this and a lot going on on your IC which is a super personal point like one's underwear lol

It seems that when a person's Nessus touch personal parts of the other person's chart, there can be revulsion.

I have seen this with Nessus/Sun but Nessus can, also, make for super attraction, too, so it may be something that can play out both ways, perhaps.

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Ah that makes sense.

posted April 07, 2015 08:10 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
It seems that when a person's Nessus touch personal parts of the other person's chart, there can be revulsion.

I have seen this with Nessus/Sun but Nessus can, also, make for super attraction, too, so it may be something that can play out both ways, perhaps.

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It can. In fact, it's largely dependent upon how NESSUS is placed natally, and what other aspects are being made in synastry. It can be obsessive, attractive, or too intense.

posted April 07, 2015 08:15 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Vajra:
Astrology aside, I think this^ behavior of his is the reason for your revulsion…which means, had he not come on so strong, you might perhaps have liked him a lot more. I guess he may be (unconsciously) looking for a rebound, and you may not be ready yet for a new relationship, and thus your alarm goes off…understandably. Who wants to be on a pedestal?

OT but your story is a good example of the psychological damage the "twinflame" label can sometimes do - by making people obsessive and scaring others. Interesting that here, the man is the chaser (and perhaps he thinks you are "running" from the intensity, not running from him). Ugh

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:: applause ::

Exactly, Vajra.

posted April 07, 2015 08:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aubyanne:
:: applause ::

Exactly, Vajra.

I'm also really concerned as to why this man is even using labels like 'Twin Flame'. I've become convinced the whole 'chaser' and 'runner' thing is complete BS anyway. Souls are just not that clumsy.

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Hi Auby,

I agree with you lol.

posted April 07, 2015 08:50 PM            

I agree with Ami. Also, the Vertex is something else to look at ; yours conjuncts his ASC, showing that his personality had an impact on you and was an unexpected life-changing experience, for better or for worse (in this case, worse ). When the Vertex conjuncts the ASC in synastry, it's always a double whammy, even if it's a little wide on the other side. His Vertex conjuncts your ASC and his Antivertex (the 'dream (or nightmare) come true' type of surprise, depending on the circumstances) conjuncts your Psyche.

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/002321.html

Also, a VENUS-PLUTO square typically indicates Scorpio-like obsession for one or both people involved. I tend to think it has a greater effect on the personal planet person because Pluto is generational.

The MARS hard aspects can be double-sided, as it was mentioned above. His MARS opposes your URANUS and NEPTUNE, which are your 7th and 8th house rulers respectively. As you can see, it can either indicate passion, love and attraction (7th and 8th houses are traditional love houses) or ennemies and disgust. The 7th house is not the house of 'love', per se ; it's the opposite of the 1st house, the houses that defines YOU. So, before love interests, the 7th house represents THE OTHERS, as opposed to the 1st house. And 'the others' can mean partners, as well as ennemies. The 8th house is a Plutonian house and represents taboo stuff, before sex. Repulsion or disgust can be indicated by 8th house links. Another delicate aspect is his SUN or 8th house ruler opposite your MARS. As if that weren't enough, your super sensitive Cancer MOON comes in to the picture.

Could you add in the transneptunian planet HADES (h41) ? I'm curious to know where that falls. Thanks !

PS : You are definitely not a total newbie on LL. Been lurking for some time ?
Anyway, wishing you a warm welcome to Interpersonal Astrology !

posted April 07, 2015 09:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Peluches:
Neptunian Venus,

I agree with Ami. Also, the Vertex is something else to look at ; yours conjuncts his ASC, showing that his personality had an impact on you and was an unexpected life-changing experience, for better or for worse (in this case, worse ). When the Vertex conjuncts the ASC in synastry, it's always a double whammy, even if it's a little wide on the other side. His Vertex conjuncts your ASC and his Antivertex (the 'dream (or nightmare) come true' type of surprise, depending on the circumstances) conjuncts your Psyche.

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/002321.html

Also, a VENUS-PLUTO square typically indicates Scorpio-like obsession for one or both people involved. I tend to think it has a greater effect on the personal planet person because Pluto is generational.

The MARS hard aspects can be double-sided, as it was mentioned above. His MARS opposes your URANUS and NEPTUNE, which are your 7th and 8th house rulers respectively. As you can see, it can either indicate passion, love and attraction (7th and 8th houses are traditional love houses) or ennemies and disgust. The 7th house is not the house of 'love', per se ; it's the opposite of the 1st house, the houses that defines YOU. So, before love interests, the 7th house represents THE OTHERS, as opposed to the 1st house. And 'the others' can mean partners, as well as ennemies. The 8th house is a Plutonian house and represents taboo stuff, before sex. Repulsion or disgust can be indicated by 8th house links. Another delicate aspect is his SUN or 8th house ruler opposite your MARS. As if that weren't enough, your super sensitive Cancer MOON comes in to the picture.

Could you add in the transneptunian planet HADES (h41) ? I'm curious to know where that falls. Thanks !

PS : You are definitely not a total newbie on LL. Been lurking for some time ?
Anyway, wishing you a warm welcome to Interpersonal Astrology !

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Hi Peluches,
Thank you for your detailed response. You have given me a lot to ponder on.
So traditionally, the 5th/7th/8th houses are known as relationship houses, but why is it that in my case, he activates all those houses, but I dislike him?
I have had harsh aspects to my relationship-house rulers before and they definitely sparked some kind of attraction. Why is it that its not happening in this case?
Could it be because my "love asteroids" aren't aspects by him?

posted April 07, 2015 09:59 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Neptunian Venus:
Hi Peluches,
Thank you for your detailed response. You have given me a lot to ponder on.

So traditionally, the 5th/7th/8th houses are known as relationship houses, but why is it that in my case, he activates all those houses, but I dislike him?
I have had harsh aspects to my relationship-house rulers before and they definitely sparked some kind of attraction. Why is it that its not happening in this case?
Could it be because my "love asteroids" aren't aspects by him?

Ew, I just noticed that his Venus is conjunct my Karma in my 7th. O_O
No thank you lol.

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No 1st house overlays for you. I find these are quite accurate for physical attraction. But here, CHIRON and PHOLUS in your 1st ? Ew. Look at his 1st house, two big juicy outer planets in there.

posted April 07, 2015 10:13 PM            

Anyways,
I wanted to thank you for the lovely welcome, Peluches.
No I'm not a newbie, I've been here for a while under my former username, Lavender.
I unregistered because the old energies and baggage associated with that account no longer serve me.
"Neptunian Venus" is more reflective of who I am now.
So I guess in a sense I am new again lol.

Here are Hades and Nemesis in our charts:

posted April 07, 2015 10:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Peluches:
No 1st house overlays for you. I find these are quite accurate for physical attraction. But here, CHIRON and PHOLUS in your 1st ? Ew. Look at his 1st house, two big juicy outer planets in there.

Oh, if you're adding HADES, could you put in NEMESIS (128) too ? For enemies.

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Right, of course! How can I forget that 1st house = physical attraction!

I also noticed that for me, the 2nd house is strongly indicative of finding someone physically attractive as well, because it's a Taurus house. And Taurus has to do with the physical body and physical pleasures. It's a Venusian house after all

posted April 07, 2015 10:39 PM            

His Nemesis square my Neptune 1' (8th house ruler)!!! :O
And his Hades square my Sun/Saturn. Ooh dear lol.

posted April 07, 2015 11:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Neptunian Venus:
Hi Auby,

I agree with you lol.

Well, he actually found me on Facebook through some mutual friends who are a twinflame couple.
He told me before that he thought that his ex was his twin, but after talking to me he was convinced I was. :/
I don't know what to tell him anymore.
It seems as though he's brainwashed by our mutual friends and wishes he could have that connection with someone too, and there's nothing wrong with wanting it.
But chasing after someone who just doesn't feel the same is where it gets unhealthy.

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posted April 08, 2015 12:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Honestly? He needs therapy. I suspect there are much deeper issues driving this obsessive behaviour. I fear it could cross over into stalking territory. He needs help. Badly.

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Uh oh. I don't like the sound of that.

I've been keeping my distance lately, and yet I still wake up to around 50+ texts and notifications on my phone from him.

Now he's telling me that I'm the only girl he talks to and everyday he checks up on me seeing what I'm up to. And when I don't reply for a while, he guilt trips me.