posted September 27, 2015 03:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
Is like how could you be so sure if you were SOOO sure before and then decided you were wrong.

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I wasn't sure. I was placing my faith completely in someone's judgement, and I gave it my absolute best shot. I hoped to God it wasn't true, and yet, I couldn't deny the strong, prominent feelings I've always had about him. Did that mean he was my twin? It must, right? That's kind of logical, isn't it? Besides, we had so many psychic experiences; what else could it be?

But it didn't prevent me from exploring a relationship with my boyfriend. I wouldn't let it. I kept my mind open. I allowed myself to consider all possibilities; I couldn't 'relegate' my boyfriend to that of which I already had so 'many' in my life. Each with their own special, powerful place in my heart, life, and soul, but there was always something so ... unique about him. But what could he be? Which is what led to the exploration of Guardian Soulmate theory -- which remains a process.

To be honest with you, it's the first time in which I put my trust unequivocally in someone else; who I believed completely would provide the right answers. I just ... had a hunch. I knew it was the right move.

Now I realise that, in and of itself, was the lesson. I was being cowardly -- expecting someone else to know for me, something I should already have deep within my heart, and in every fibre of my being -- at my core. I was scared -- terrified. I didn't want to have to make the decision on my own.

And so, I didn't. I put my faith in a method, and I desperately wanted it to be good -- to be viable and right. I figured, my boyfriend is just something else; something undiscovered. It didn't make what we have any less special. I was just a disenfranchised twin flame. That's all. Twin flames aren't everything they're cracked up to be. Sometimes, the whole thing is just a disappointment. It's okay. It can be that way. It's about us anyway. Just our individual journey.

Wow. How badly was I justifying out of a refusal to be wrong? How much was I stretching the truth and trying to make it still fit and make sense, out of respect for someone's expertise and knowledge? Or was it pride? Could I not accept the possibility that he was wrong, and I'd placed unfailing faith in his method?

But it forced me to fight -- using my own feelings. To diplomatically, and respectfully, take stock of reality.

I was having a twin flame relationship with a man that wasn't my twin flame. So what the hell did it even matter? Could we just have a twin flame relationship with anyone we chose? Maybe? Was the entire purpose of my 'twin flame connexion' to force me to stop accepting the abuse of my lovers? Of men who mistreated me, but I was allowing to do so, out of karma? And deep soul connexions?

But when the first man really loved me in a truly evolved way, and I found myself so elevated, and so deeply in love in a way I'd never experienced -- he wasn't the most profound sort of connexion one can experience. So, I had to investigate further. I had to delve deeper. I had to know why he affects me that powerfully, and that uniquely.

And I had to accept that ... maybe we were wrong. And, I finally had to ask -- maybe, maybe we were wrong. Maybe a twin flame connexion is always about more than just abuse, neglect, volatility and pain -- so that the healthier of the two will leave and seek to love and be loved in a relationship with one who can.

That was exceedingly difficult. I can feel how far back iQ and I truly, truly go. He's been a guide in my existence for much, much longer than this lifeline. And I don't feel the least bit 'betrayed'. I feel that all of this was part of it, and I've only needed to understand why -- the greater message.

I think it was to fight for what I believed in my heart -- against what I was told; against that in which I had placed my trust so ardently. I had to go against someone I really trusted and respected to stand on my own -- fully -- in what I believed. That's been a hard lesson for me, actually. I was scared to stand out -- truly -- on my own, genuinely entitled to my beliefs. I had to have someone else determine what was real -- or not.

I lived that way for a long time; likely due to some of my history. But that's no way to be -- or for the rest of one's life. It was time that I, personally, evolved. That I took a stand and said 'no,' and did it with respect, and the same admiration as when I'd asked for help and guidance.

It was not easy. But I fought for what was in my heart.

You see, in the very beginning, when I'd asked iQ about my boyfriend, he outright said that there 'was no twin flame signature'. And I thought -- okay then. He knows what he's talking about. He identified my ex-producing partner, who had also been one of my best friends, despite crazy odds -- as my twin flame. And even if it doesn't look that way -- well, what the hell do I really know about these things?

posted September 27, 2015 03:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
I just feel you should be a little bit more humble about what you perceive as TF indicators or markers and understand that although you know a lot about this stuff, this is as you already know an area of ongoing research and IF you don't have a marker with your own TWIN it does not mean that it is not a marker. I feel you see yourself as the ultimate expert on TF stuff and yes you have a brilliant mind no argument there but you have self biases too and blinders as you are human and if an aspect does not confirm that you are a twin then you at times minimize it in your mind or dump it.

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Actually, that's a bit presumptive. I'm entirely humbled. We were wrong -- and it's been damned hard for both of us to really accept that, but, as a scientist -- I do. I have to. I'm here for the truth.

The reason why I haven't been bowled over by the 111111 and 131313 thing is that it was initially used in a very different type of research -- which is still ongoing.

As to markers in general? I'm not convinced there are any. At all. If anything, it's hardly not because something doesn't appear in my synastry or composite; it's because it's not knocking me over anywhere. And just because there is something in my synastry or composite hardly means it's a marker. It just means it's there, and important to us. As to whether it's important to others?

I'm not sure if I'll ever really truly get over how otherwise pedestrian the astrology with my twin seems in comparison to my karmic soulmate. Hell, I've got dual-conjunctions of EROS and PSYCHE with another karmic soulmate, who's a total frenemy.

It's not that it's making me question the validity of astrology; ohhhhh, no. Astrology is incredible. But there's something about twin flame research we're all missing here -- something that's going to kick it into the right gear, or dimensional plane, or state of being -- whatever. And the results will be phenomenal.

posted September 27, 2015 04:26 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Neptune29:
You are really a brave soul Auby...this is not the easy journey...

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I appreciate that, Neptune. I try. When everything suddenly stops making sense, and the maps you were following have led you right back where you started -- all you can do is pick yourself up, screw up some courage, and go forward.

I don't claim to have the answers; I don't even claim to have answers. I have advice, I have the occasional moment that something comes through my higher mind with such astonishing clarity, that I must deliver it to the intended 'recipient' -- but I have no certainty.

posted September 27, 2015 05:48 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by EmGem:
Perhaps the marker does not exist in astrology, science or anything analytical.

Maybe it's just an absolute knowing at the very depths of your soul that your mind cannot fathom. Something unexplainable that not even astrology can answer.

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posted September 27, 2015 05:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Neptune29:
I sent an email to u just check whenever possible..

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posted September 27, 2015 06:09 AM              

his 111111 on 28 Aquarius in 12th house
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conjunct his SN-Priapus
opposes his true BML exact
sextile his Moon-MC exact

conjunct my true and natural BML exact
square my Valentine

his 131313 on 13 Pisces in 12th house
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opposite his Mars (2)

conjunct my Jupiter and Juno by 2-3 degrees each, on the exact midpoint

my 111111 on 28 Sagittairus in 1st house
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conjuncts my Sun (2)
sextile my BML exact
opposes my Nessus exact

conjunct his Moon-MC exact
trine his true BML exact
squares his Vertex exact
squares his Saturn (2)

my 131313 on 21 Aquarius in 2nd
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no major close aspects to planets, though it is configured with SUMERIA-ATROPOS-CUPIDO-DIONYSOS

sextile his Neptune-CUPIDO exact
square his Uranus - VALENTINE
trine his Pluto-SPIRIT-ANTEROS

composite

111111 on 28 Capricorn in 12th house
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conjunct ASC (3)
(which is tied to ANUBIS-TERPSICHORE-MADHATTER as well)

131313 on 2 PIsces in 1st house
---------------------------------
conjunct VESTA exact

posted September 27, 2015 09:06 AM            

quote:

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by Auby

Love that you have ALMA-JUNO-SATURN. It's gotta be near mine. On the SGC?

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posted September 27, 2015 11:39 AM            

The whole -- mind-programming dimension has thrown a bit of a spanner into the works though

posted September 27, 2015 01:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
These are very active in me n TF's synastry.... I listed all the aspects but a phone glitch lost all my work. I will repost them later.
I do think they are prominent in TF relationships.

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Then why have I found them to be doing absolutely nothing in 6 confirmed twin flame synastries? I'm sorry, but one or two here and there with some prominence in some ways but not others -- is not enough for me.

posted September 27, 2015 01:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Orange:
Mine is in Taurus

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posted September 27, 2015 01:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by florence:
Yes they are significant for whom I consider my TF and soulmate

The whole -- mind-programming dimension has thrown a bit of a spanner into the works though

131313 is placed sig natally and I've been seeing this number recently. I recognised it as thee number that's been communicating with me on reading this thread altho had no idea of the TF relationship with it

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Doesn't it, though? Now, when exploring these in THAT regard, I've found some astonishing hits.

And, I'll admit. Since my twin's VALENTINE is also conjunct his MADHATTER, the MADHATTER/111111 connexion is intriguing to me. Very much so.

posted September 27, 2015 01:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aubyanne:
If you guys want to narrow the scope a bit, add in 292929, and see if it's involved in the natal. Is it more or less prominent than 111111 and 131313, if so? One or the other?

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This is fun!

posted September 27, 2015 01:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by florence:
This is fun!

Not involved in my natal. In synastry: it makes hits which are important but not as important, to me, as the others. The kind of significance this one has seems to be as a preliminary to TF or related in opening up the third eye that allows that or what will feature as part of that TF beginning? In composite of a powerful R/ship preceding who I regard my TF its conjunct sun. My personal experience, though.

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posted September 27, 2015 01:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Which one? 11, 13, or 29?

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posted September 27, 2015 01:33 PM            

Okay. Now I don't know what's going on. I can describe the physical sensation, however. It's the tingling sensation at the very top of my head, which almost feels as if someone has placed their hand on top of it, gently, only for a moment. Then the feeling of ... it's almost like a gentle something slowly sliding down the back of my head, and then vanishing. It's happened ever since I was a child. My mother says that it's connected to my higher mind -- and she may be right.

posted September 27, 2015 01:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aubyanne:
'They are being deceived. Help them. Stop them. Find the truth.'

Okay. Now I don't know what's going on. I can describe the physical sensation, however. It's the tingling sensation at the very top of my head, which almost feels as if someone has placed their hand on top of it, gently, only for a moment. Then the feeling of ... it's almost like a gentle something slowly sliding down the back of my head, and then vanishing. It's happened ever since I was a child. My mother says that it's connected to my higher mind -- and she may be right.

I'm currently in full-alert, 'pay attention' mode. Something is wrong, guys. Something is off.

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posted September 27, 2015 02:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by florence:
29

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That's exactly what I thought.

Oh, dear. Guys ... I think it's time we brace ourselves for a major impact today. My mother's been feeling something coming on, and I just started really getting a tinge of it last night.

Hold your centre. Shut down all influences around you no matter HOW tempting they might be.

'They are programming the cube' for lack of better explanation. Know your heart. Know your soul. Don't trust any 'synchronicities' today. The eclipse must pass.

This is gonna be a rough transition.

posted September 27, 2015 02:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Selenite:
@ Auby
"The reason why I haven't been bowled over by the 111111 and 131313 thing is that it was initially used in a very different type of research -- which is still ongoing."

What kind of research?

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Research into 'programming' for lack of better. My twin was a psychological operations officer. He doesn't like what he knows; doesn't like what he's seen. He was suddenly motivated, deeply, to publish a book that had been burning in his brain for the last decade. It specifically takes a 'lighthearted' approach to a very dark subject: mind control, through the use of programming via sources that we allow into our sphere. He focussed upon advertising, and forayed -- slightly -- into politics and pop culture. But only slightly.

On the other hand, I have deep connexions to government subprojects. And, without getting into it, my mother finally admitted that she outright refused my involvement with something that would directly involve me with one. It ain't easy being a prodigy. At least, for me, it wasn't.

This is bringing up a lot of stuff. Ohhh, iQ, where are you? I may have to contact him directly.

All I can say, without sounding completely out of my mind is 'beware the Jabberwocky'. I've learnt that Alice mythology has widespread usage in the arena of programming and psychological influence, and among these programmes and systems, Jabberwocky has great significance.

For me, it represents all that I hate; that seeks to deceive and enslave. With an almost Mephistopholean deal: to protect, to care for, to offer that which is most longed for and desired. It's the worst deal, because what you sacrifice is your freedom.

I don't know on what level this may be taking place existentially, but my eyes have been opened, and I'm also listening very, very closely. Part of my project is a direct refutation to these 'enslaving' forces. ... Enslaving is a bad word. But it's the one my twin does opt to use. You might say he is raging, rather actively now, against 'the machine'. The propaganda machine. It's rampant.

... And, forgive me -- I'm not making any sense. I can't articulate these things properly yet. I can't express my feelings in the way I need to. Not yet. I lack the language and true understanding.

Okay. Time to find my centre again. This eclipse is affecting me already.