posted August 26, 2024 04:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by girlwiththerainysoul:
It's a common aspect in married couples' composite chart.

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posted September 17, 2024 07:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hearttreasure:
If it is a common aspect in married couples' composite chart, I wonder how many survive?

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posted September 19, 2024 04:25 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by kikoman:
I just wanted to update you, after much tears and heartbreak, He expressed a lot of regret and begged me to come back and give him a chance. I've never seen him cry so much like that and sent me a long heartfelt letter. I felt sincerity from him. Although it was difficult to forgive him, I decided to give him a chance- We are back together... We decided to make this a newer & stronger relationship, building a fresh dynamic by setting new routines and events together.

I have Virgo rising and the upcoming Lunar eclipse in Pisces will be happening in my 7th House. I feel this will be my eclipse story next 2 years... not sure if that is a positive or negative to overlap with the eclipse.

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My husband did the same too, but for 3 years he was back and ford in a secret affair with his ex behind my back until she made him broke and her sneaky smooth revenge was revealed. Those 3 years my relationship with him also full with a lot of stupid drama, manipulation, gaslighting, accusation, guilt trip, violence, mind games and she told me that she wanted to make me feel what she felt (meaning: suffering in the darkness, she has Moon in Scorpio conjunct Pluto, and she wanted me to feel it) as she had created this scenario in her mind that he had cheated on her with me and I stole him from her. I guess that's what we call as "act like a victim".

Meanwhile the truth I found out that she cheated on him first in their relationship and she begged for a forgiveness and they were back together again, but as how toxic their relationship was (she is a Libra/Scorpio with Pluto heavy and he is a Gemini/Cancer dominant, they also had Mars square Mars) their relationship was never stable, a constant fight, manipulation trick, power issue, but also possessiveness and jealousy, they wanted to control each other but at the same time both refused to be controlled.

On their last break up and had been for months, he met me and started chasing me. As soon as she heard he had in a relationship with other woman (me), she begged him to comeback and said sorry to him like she meant it, he didn't know that was part of her revenge plan because she knew how to hit his soft spot and knew where was his weaknesses so she used it againts him to lure him for money (she created a sad story and an unfortunate situation that her family had that she wanted to help her family in a convincing voice) and to make me feel a feeling of being cheated on, she even said to me, "how does it feel?".

What I finally know about being in a toxic relationship or with toxic people for YEARS is enough to make your brain f* up. So, yeah, he came into my life with that experience (well, he may be growing being toxic too, I don't know) and we had been in a very toxic relationship for awhile where it changed some part of me too because I had stayed for more than a year.

I read psychology a lot (because of how much of manipulation going on and to prevent my mind getting f* by all of those stupidity s*) and came to this forum in frustration, in a hope I got a way to get rid of my Gemini man at that time and to examine was there any other factor, what made the relationship was so intense at that time.

Well, being strong is a tough job, being so patient for all those f* years sometimes making me hate myself because I should had fought them like a true Aries moon, not beat me up to be patient and let God take the rest, but my marriage now is far from drama, everything feels better than before and now I can feel that he is "here" (before he was "out there").

I also can see his natal chart personality now, like his personality blossoms and he becomes his true self. Before that he was soooo different, it made me so confused with his natal chart, he was like someone else (not his true self), until someone here highlighting his Neptunian tendency (absorbing and easily influenced), and it made sense on how he sometimes acted like his ex natal chart.

posted September 21, 2024 03:17 PM            

I also resonate with what you said about Pluto triggering deeper emotions. I've been noticing intense, primal anger, vengeance, and dark passion like never before. I’ve never felt this way in my life. I usually have issues channeling or expressing my anger, but through this experience, I’ve been feeling a burning sensation and even seeing fire in my vision. I’ve burned his photos, lit countless candles, and worn a lot of red.

My boyfriend and his ex have been on and off for five years. It seems like an obsessive, toxic relationship where they longed for each other but treated each other terribly when they were together, lots of jealousy and power play. They were broken up for a year when I met him, and he admitted his struggle with their toxic dynamic, but since she lived in a different city, I didn’t pay much attention to it.

They met again at a wedding last month, and he cheated on me with her. He fell back into his old pattern, the one he desperately wanted to break free from but he regretted it immediately. He confessed it right away and begged me to give him a second chance. When we got back together, I felt a sense of renewed love, with more intense desire and intimacy. But there is distrust and doubt at the same time that will be a huge huddle.

But then, there was another wave of drama during the eclipse. He sent her a long, confusing closure email that didn’t go over well. She got furious and sent me an email exposing his lies and wrongdoings to both of us. Most of what she said was true (I knew it already), but she seemed manipulative at the same time, so I was cautious. She’s asked to talk on the phone, and I’m considering it in the next few days to hear her side. I’m seriously rethinking whether dating him is the best choice for me, but the intensity of my feelings for him makes it hard to let go easily.

Honestly, this whole situation is way more intense than what I’m used to, but something in me has changed. I feel more intense and ready to cut through the b*ll sh*t. One way or another, I am hoping to evolve and become stronger.

posted September 22, 2024 04:43 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hearttreasure:
My husband did the same too, but for 3 years he was back and ford in a secret affair with his ex behind my back until she made him broke and her sneaky smooth revenge was revealed. Those 3 years my relationship with him also full with a lot of stupid drama, manipulation, gaslighting, accusation, guilt trip, violence, mind games and she told me that she wanted to make me feel what she felt (meaning: suffering in the darkness, she has Moon in Scorpio conjunct Pluto, and she wanted me to feel it) as she had created this scenario in her mind that he had cheated on her with me and I stole him from her. I guess that's what we call as "act like a victim".

Meanwhile the truth I found out that she cheated on him first in their relationship and she begged for a forgiveness and they were back together again, but as how toxic their relationship was (she is a Libra/Scorpio with Pluto heavy and he is a Gemini/Cancer dominant, they also had Mars square Mars) their relationship was never stable, a constant fight, manipulation trick, power issue, but also possessiveness and jealousy, they wanted to control each other but at the same time both refused to be controlled.

On their last break up and had been for months, he met me and started chasing me. As soon as she heard he had in a relationship with other woman (me), she begged him to comeback and said sorry to him like she meant it, he didn't know that was part of her revenge plan because she knew how to hit his soft spot and knew where was his weaknesses so she used it againts him to lure him for money (she created a sad story and an unfortunate situation that her family had that she wanted to help her family in a convincing voice) and to make me feel a feeling of being cheated on, she even said to me, "how does it feel?".

What I finally know about being in a toxic relationship or with toxic people for YEARS is enough to make your brain f* up. So, yeah, he came into my life with that experience (well, he may be growing being toxic too, I don't know) and we had been in a very toxic relationship for awhile where it changed some part of me too because I had stayed for more than a year.

I read psychology a lot (because of how much of manipulation going on and to prevent my mind getting f* by all of those stupidity s*) and came to this forum in frustration, in a hope I got a way to get rid of my Gemini man at that time and to examine was there any other factor, what made the relationship was so intense at that time.

Well, being strong is a tough job, being so patient for all those f* years sometimes making me hate myself because I should had fought them like a true Aries moon, not beat me up to be patient and let God take the rest, but my marriage now is far from drama, everything feels better than before and now I can feel that he is "here" (before he was "out there").

I also can see his natal chart personality now, like his personality blossoms and he becomes his true self. Before that he was soooo different, it made me so confused with his natal chart, he was like someone else (not his true self), until someone here highlighting his Neptunian tendency (absorbing and easily influenced), and it made sense on how he sometimes acted like his ex natal chart.

My story may be different with yours, and I don't want to make you or anyone to read my story feel like they have to be patient with toxic people or relationship, just based on the similarity as hoping having the same ending: rewarded. In my situation I have my own trick and my own way on how to make my relationship with my husband gets better. Also I have a daughter, so my world is not just me or my husband anymore and I realize the most happy kid is the one who has a happy parents with their own relationship growing up. I read A LOT, I honestly don't depend on astrology fully because sometimes it can be too much to think of and sometimes you just have to live and be present and read other things.

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This sounds like you are blaming the "toxic ex" and not your husband who was the one supposed to stay faithful to you and your marriage. Why is that? He is a grown man and he chose to cheat on you, not only once (which would be enough for me to end a relationship) but he had a whole 3 year affair.

posted September 23, 2024 12:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by kani:
This sounds like you are blaming the "toxic ex" and not your husband who was the one supposed to stay faithful to you and your marriage. Why is that? He is a grown man and he chose to cheat on you, not only once (which would be enough for me to end a relationship) but he had a whole 3 year affair.

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posted September 23, 2024 12:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by girlwiththerainysoul:
It's a common aspect in married couples' composite chart.

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posted September 23, 2024 05:21 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by kikoman:
Hey, thank you so much for sharing your story. Shockingly, our stories are very similar. is she still around? How did you/and him cut her off? It really helps to hear your perspective on toxic relationships. It shows me that things can work out with patience and effort, even when the situation feels too dark and toxic.

...
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Is she still around? I don't know, I don't even care anymore, and not trying to find out. I have reached my point when I found out everything in that 3rd year. I moved out and deleted all my social media so he and her couldn't stalk me anymore. I tried to disappear as I wanted a peace and a clear mind, not a stupid drama s* that full with manipulation. It was almost like you had a blur vision which one was the truth or the lies anymore and your mind was just dark. But he always found a way to get to me.

How did I/my husband cut her out? Well, I never feel like I am part of their relationship problem from the first time and I don't have a problem with her actually (my only problem is between me and my husband). But what I do is, making a clear boundary. I had made a clear statement to both of them the first time I requested that we (the three of us) should talk because I wanted to hear her side of story and to see if their story matched, that whatever story they had before or the unfinished business they had to each other, they should never put me in the middle because it wasn't my problem but their problem. But later they broke the boundaries and put me in the middle of their problem. Both blame me and tried to framing me so they could get away from their sick mind.

They had been in 6 years on and off relationship and I don't think he has a nerve to cut her out completely. To these days I still do not know the answer and I don't think he will ever tell.

The situation was she cut him out.

The whole situation was so puzzled because that's how manipulation work. I remember every detail what happened because I have never learned it from anyone but them. Both even tried to make me a villain (because both were so passive-aggressive and I wasn't like that, I like to tell it is what it is and to the point so I can get a clear message but both didn't like to be confronted and felt attacked if I questioned them which one was the truth) so they could tell people they were the victim at that time.

posted September 23, 2024 05:23 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by kani:
This sounds like you are blaming the "toxic ex" and not your husband who was the one supposed to stay faithful to you and your marriage. Why is that? He is a grown man and he chose to cheat on you, not only once (which would be enough for me to end a relationship) but he had a whole 3 year affair.

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It may sound like it for you, but this is only a few story that I feel correlated with this title's thread and to reply the update from other member. If I have a book, you can see from the whole perspective, but unfortunately I'm not publising any.

Anyway, this thread from 2016, an old thread for me that may feel fresh for you as I have posted 1362 posts (maybe around that year my most active in this forum, now not so much), so there are a lot of story to tell not just "blaming the "toxic ex"" as what you had said based on this only thread and my reply to other member where I feel correlated to her story. But if you read carefully, I didn't just say his ex toxic, but also I was questioning him.

posted September 23, 2024 08:47 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hearttreasure:
It may sound like it for you, but this is only a few story that I feel correlated with this title's thread and to reply the update from other member. If I have a book, you can see from the whole perspective, but unfortunately I'm not publising any.

Anyway, this thread from 2016, an old thread for me that may feel fresh for you as I have posted 1362 posts (maybe around that year my most active in this forum, now not so much), so there are a lot of story to tell not just "blaming the "toxic ex"" as what you had said based on this only thread and my reply to other member where I feel correlated to her story. But if you read carefully, I didn't just say his ex toxic, but also I was questioning him.

FYI, the affair happened before my marriage with my husband, not in the marriage. Even after those 3 years, we had 2 years more before we decided to get married. Don't quick to assume things, you can ask before assuming. He is by far faithful in our marriage.

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posted September 23, 2024 08:56 AM            

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Originally posted by 93nov:
Moon-Pluto hard aspects tend to make ppl irrational.. until they're forced to deal with all the buried emotions.. after the blow up. & with the square.. there will ALWAYS be another blow up. Synastry/ Composite aspects are like permanent transits you share with someone. It never stops. Rinse and repeat. You can keep rising like the Phoenix, yes, but how many times? The psychological damage often stems from the repetition of the trauma.

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posted September 23, 2024 03:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by kani:
It just really sounded like "poor husband didn't know what he was doing" just judging by that one comment of yours. I get that the whole story is more nuanced.
How can you be so sure that he was faithful during your marriage? I'm asking because I could never trust someone who cheated on me before and especially for such a long period of time.

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Now you start making another how it is sounded for you. Will you change it again if there's another comment? Well, it's up to you how it's sounded for you but if I could make a comment about it, it should not stop there because it feels like you tried to pointed on me rather than focusing on what this Moon/Pluto hard aspect in composite about and feel free to share your experience/story about it.

Is it emotions run intensely or maybe quick to feel offended as having a similar aspect/signs? I think this is why if you don't feel like you are the same person just from similar aspect/signs you have, don't get bother by it like you are the topic here, it's not. Unless I pointed out everyone is the same and make a special hatred thread to validate my hate feelings and to attack people who have the same aspect/sign or people who don't support my thread. I don't think the first time I opened this thread has that motivation.

I'm not saying "so sure", I'm saying "by far", don't change it, I don't think the meaning of it I am 100% sure as of course the effect of staying in a relationship where unfaithfulness once happened will never make you forget everything but you can try to put faith in it if both wants to go to a better place. I don't even make a statement that I trust him but it doesn't mean I always suspicious or watching his every move.

You may not relate to how I handle things in this situation because I don't have moon/pluto hard aspect. This is why my husband once told me that I and her have a very different personality and how we handle things in the relationship. She has Moon/Pluto conjunct and I have Moon/Jupiter conjunct. They had Moon/Pluto conjunct in synastry (no aspect in composite), we had Moon/Jupiter conjunct in synastry (in composite there's Moon/Pluto hard aspect).

posted September 24, 2024 12:48 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hearttreasure:
Now you start making another how it is sounded for you. Will you change it again if there's another comment? Well, it's up to you how it's sounded for you but if I could make a comment about it, it should not stop there because it feels like you tried to pointed on me rather than focusing on what this Moon/Pluto hard aspect in composite about and feel free to share your experience/story about it.

Is it emotions run intensely or maybe quick to feel offended as having a similar aspect/signs? I think this is why if you don't feel like you are the same person just from similar aspect/signs you have, don't get bother by it like you are the topic here, it's not. Unless I pointed out everyone is the same and make a special hatred thread to validate my hate feelings and to attack people who have the same aspect/sign or people who don't support my thread. I don't think the first time I opened this thread has that motivation.

I'm not saying "so sure", I'm saying "by far", don't change it, I don't think the meaning of it I am 100% sure as of course the effect of staying in a relationship where unfaithfulness once happened will never make you forget everything but you can try to put faith in it if both wants to go to a better place. I don't even make a statement that I trust him but it doesn't mean I always suspicious or watching his every move.

You may not relate to how I handle things in this situation because I don't have moon/pluto hard aspect. This is why my husband once told me that I and her have a very different personality and how we handle things in the relationship. She has Moon/Pluto conjunct and I have Moon/Jupiter conjunct. They had Moon/Pluto conjunct in synastry (no aspect in composite), we had Moon/Jupiter conjunct in synastry (in composite there's Moon/Pluto hard aspect).

Why I highlighted the Moon, because if you deal with "emotional manipulation", you have to go deeper to see what it is all about, why it affects you deeply and where does it come from, how you can handle it.

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posted September 27, 2024 12:00 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hearttreasure:
I like to see those experience as a way for me to see people more than just meet the eye, more than just a few story they tell, more than just how sweet they talk how feel sorry they are, or more than just what they try to portray themselve in social media. That's how manipulations change my mindset to see things now. That's may be the good news.

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Yes, I relate to your story. There are a lot of manipulations going on in my case too, but I don’t think it’s even fully conscious or intentional, which makes it hard to discern. I’m learning to see things beyond the words and confronting the BS for what it is straight to the heart. Despite all the painful, earth-shattering, can’t-control experiences, learning a lot about my own power in dealing with the depth of dark emotion. it’s unleashed something within me that I’ve never explored before.

That’s the lesson of Pluto, it strips away the illusion and brings the truth into sharp focus, even if it’s not easy to face. I don’t think it’s for everyone though, but I can appreciate intensity as long as it’s an opportunity to transcend my limitation. Pluto is the second dominant planet and the most aspected planet in my chart.

One thing I can’t decide on right now is whether or not to talk to his ex. She emailed me, suggesting a phone call, but I haven’t responded yet. Part of me wants to dive deep into the truth to hear her perspective, even if it’s painful. But another part of me wants to move on without letting her have power over my relationship. If we do talk, we’d probably trigger each other just by hearing each other’s voices, since we both carry deep wounds from the same man, she was discarded, and I was cheated on. I don’t want to trigger her in any way because she’s a victim too.