posted October 06, 2016 09:05 PM            

Have you ever had a really nice relationship (romantic, familial, whatever) with someone whose Nessus was conjunct your personal planets? I'm asking because I'm new to looking at Nessus in charts--I read about it on Lindaland and I looked at it in my synastries and found my (bad) ex's Nessus is conjunct my Venus.

I've been hanging out with someone new (not necessarily a romantic thing, but not necessarily not--absolutely something where the connection feels meaningful to us both) and I looked at our synastry and--UGH. Nessus-Sun, and I'm the Sun. My Nessus-Venus rekationship fit what had been described on here so exactly and horrifyingly that i'm scared.

And I just had a horrible fight with my dad today, and was looking at our synastry--we have Nessus-Saturn, fun! (I'm the Nessus.)

posted October 07, 2016 10:10 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lucia23:
(I'm posting this here rather than in asteroid astrology because I'm thinking specifically about synastry.)

Have you ever had a really nice relationship (romantic, familial, whatever) with someone whose Nessus was conjunct your personal planets? I'm asking because I'm new to looking at Nessus in charts--I read about it on Lindaland and I looked at it in my synastries and found my (bad) ex's Nessus is conjunct my Venus.

I've been hanging out with someone new (not necessarily a romantic thing, but not necessarily not--absolutely something where the connection feels meaningful to us both) and I looked at our synastry and--UGH. Nessus-Sun, and I'm the Sun. My Nessus-Venus rekationship fit what had been described on here so exactly and horrifyingly that i'm scared.

And I just had a horrible fight with my dad today, and was looking at our synastry--we have Nessus-Saturn, fun! (I'm the Nessus.)

Any success stories? Of Nessus-Venus or Nessus-Sun or Nessus-Moon relationships that didn't go bad for the planet person?

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I've never had a good experience with it.

posted October 07, 2016 10:33 AM            

Loved my father-in-law, get along great with my brother-in-law: my Nessus conjunct their suns

Loved my dad (still do): His Nessus conjunct my Jupiter

posted October 07, 2016 10:45 AM            

I can only remember a few times when they fought. Usually just a power struggle since they are both Cap moons.

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Oh and I see my daughter's Nessus @ 16 Cap is tightly conjunct my sun.

posted October 07, 2016 08:04 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
I believe Nessus energy can be worked with for understanding the nature of selfishness, greed, and heartlessness, and can manifest in exactly the opposite way depending on other chart factors. Depending on how it is aspected, and the will of the individual who is working with the energy. Just as Dejanira can show our victim consciousness, and the way out of passivity and towards understanding and reprogramming our own participation in abusive situations as a person with a victim mentality, or one who claims responsibility for theability to say "no!"

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posted October 08, 2016 07:59 PM            

I would like to believe that I have grown and would be more able to handle my nessus in personal interactions.

I have my nessus trine to a very good friend's venus, and I do not abuse him. However, I do believe he has more feelings for me than I do him and I am trying to stay very aware of how I interact with him. I do not want to hurt him, but I think I do just because I don't return his feelings.

posted October 08, 2016 08:23 PM              

@Yun, Thoughts?

As in, when we say that energy *could* be used to good - what is this higher expression of Nessus energy we're talking about?

Or well, not to make it too black-n-white, let's just say a positive outcome of Nessus in synastry - is what exactly?

posted October 09, 2016 06:35 AM            

In natal I have nessus oppose moon, square venus.

posted October 09, 2016 11:57 AM            

My Nessus conjunct my SO Amor and his Nessus conjunct my Cupido.

posted October 09, 2016 12:09 PM            

When my daughter was a baby she absolutely refused to sleep in a crib. She would only sleep on me. She was intricately involved, felt herself as an extension of me. I was not into the attachment parenting philosophy but she forced me into it. I used to tell people "she overpowers me somehow" even when she was a baby.

She still hugs me a lot.

Another example, my brother-in-law got a stark diagnosis. I didn't even know him that well at the time, but I just couldn't help telling him flat-out: "Listen PLEASE take extra good care of yourself. I don't want you to die." He seemed shocked that I said that, and I wonder if it's because no one else came right out and said that to him. Basically I was like trying to grab hold of him and keep him on this earth, a very involved and direct approach, not leaving things to chance.

posted October 09, 2016 01:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
It can just be a deeper interest, or a sense of being intricately involved with the other person...

When my daughter was a baby she absolutely refused to sleep in a crib. She would only sleep on me. She was intricately involved, felt herself as an extension of me. I was not into the attachment parenting philosophy but she forced me into it. I used to tell people "she overpowers me somehow" even when she was a baby.

She still hugs me a lot.

Another example, my brother-in-law got a stark diagnosis. I didn't even know him that well at the time, but I just couldn't help telling him flat-out: "Listen PLEASE take extra good care of yourself. I don't want you to die." He seemed shocked that I said that, and I wonder if it's because no one else came right out and said that to him. Basically I was like trying to grab hold of him and keep him on this earth, a very involved and direct approach, not leaving things to chance.

There's like a grabbiness with Nessus, I feel.

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posted October 09, 2016 02:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by wheresthemoon:
I've never had a good experience with it.

Do you mind sharing how Nessus/Venus played out for you?

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It started off with me feeling a deep sense of love, trust, goodness, wonderfulness with him...a sense of peace and a lot of love and trust. I really felt he loved me, and that there was some warm layer to my love for him that i hadn't felt for anyone else. Then he started pulling away--I posted about it on Lindaland and astrologers here predicted the dark and terrible turn things would take, but there weren't any red flags for that in the rekationship itself, other than that it was making me very unhappy that it seemed like he wanted to leave me. THEN he came back--this is what I wrote about it on Lindaland:

quote:

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posted June 09, 2016 12:12 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23 Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
So, it's been YEARS.
It turns out that everything IQ said was 100% accurate, including the "emotional terrorism" and the sapping me of all joy, liveliness and bliss.

This guy came back and said he loved me and wanted me back, etc etc. when we had a beautiful baby together and my mother had just died, I learned that he had lied to me about a whole bunch of things (nothing mentioned in this thread, just strange things, like where he'd gone to school)....and instead of coming clean, he kept telling me the "truth", and actually it would be a new set of lies. And I found out he had betrayed me. This was someone I at least thought was trustworthy and cared about me as a human being.

We split up last year but I still see him every day because I don't want to separate my daughter from her father. My self-esteem is at rock bottom and I've had lots of emotional health problems, shock, grief and post-traumatic stress.

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It wasn't physically abusive, but he arguably became emotionally abusive, with his lying, gaslighting and silent treatments. My feelings for him now are very very complicated. The relationship has/had huge importance to me and caused/is causing unprecedented grief in my life.

I read a description Ami Anne posted somewhere of horrible Nessus relationships that made me plug "Nessus" into astro.com--and sure enough, he and I have Nessus-Venus.

The relationship somehow revived everything painful in my childhood--I wish I could find where Ami Anne wrote about this, because she wrote somewhere that Nessus relationships make you feel like they'll heal your childhood wounds, but actually they just reinjure you--she put it so much better than that--but that's exactly what happened to me.

posted October 09, 2016 02:11 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
It can just be a deeper interest, or a sense of being intricately involved with the other person...
...

There's like a grabbiness with Nessus, I feel.

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Yes, that`s how I experience it, too.

posted October 09, 2016 02:52 PM            

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posted October 09, 2016 03:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
My Mom`s Nessus squares my Dad`s Venus. Nothing of that sort transpires between them. No abuse, no emotional manipulation, nothng of that sort.
However she is very adamant and mentally fixated on him not getting himself into risky situations. (for example trying to fell this huge tree in our gardens all by himself). Basically the very approach Faith described in her post.

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Maybe Nessus creates over-involvement sometimes.

But some people act like it's the entire chart and the bottom line of all relationships.

posted October 09, 2016 03:41 PM            

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posted October 09, 2016 04:02 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:

But some people act like it's the entire chart and the bottom line of all relationships.

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Yes, like always the whole chart has to be taken into account, and also the basic compatibility of the people involved (and their honesty and maturity).

My Mom and me have a DW of Nessus square Moon (I think though my Nessus - her MOon is closer).

We are definitely not emotionally abusive of each other, but we do have a very strong complex emotional bond and interaction (sometimes maybe too tight even).

How it definitely plays out in our csae however is a mutual sensitivity when it comes to abuse especially of children. The harsh issues, especially surrounding abuse or other traumatizing situations either involving women, children or family/ heritage/ anchestors, do always come up and we are both HIGHLY involved and react very emotional in those talks, even though these are not debates where we have different point of views. We are very much in agreement there, but this is a very sensitive topic for each of us, and we are talking a lot about these, which also include situations in our own past, and it often has had a very kathartic, therapeutic effect on both of us.

Usually the rest of the family leaves the room quickly when we approach these topics, as I think the energy in the room then just gets too intense for my brother and my Dad, who can deal with issues like that on an intellectual level, but not to the depth my mom and me happen to immerse ourselves in.

It`s pretty exhausting, so talks like these can`t be had on a daily or weekly basis, but they do crop up pretty regularly.

To prevent this you would have to keep the daily news from us (which I sometimes avoid for that reason, cause I cannot face the nasty of the world at every day).

Well her Moon is in Virgo squaring my NEssus in Gemini.
- I think that is even more descriptive of that, than her Taurus-Nessus squaring my Aqua-Moon-

posted October 09, 2016 04:23 PM            

When I use the word "over-involvement," I'm thinking of how that could go either way, as yungang was talking about...

Over-involvement with someone you love could be great, if they are open to it!

Over-involvement by or with someone who is mentally or emotionally "off" to begin with is setting the stage for possible extreme outcomes.

For those of us who are basically stable, it could play out positively, representing emotional investment and the productive results one gets, based on that passion.