posted June 12, 2017 12:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Orange:
you are such a cutsie pie...I like how you clarify everything in parenthesis, and that you are quite aware of what's going on...))

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@Orange

Lol aww thanks hun!! I don't know where I got the trait of over explaining everything. I guess because I always worry that I'm not being understood fully...so I have a strong need to overly clarify things.

I am strongly aware of my circumstances with him, and I think having a psych background doesn't help things. It just makes me more inclined to get into my head and over analyze everything.

The only thing I'm not aware (or can even wrap my head around) is him not wanting to be friends. We baseline like each other as people and can talk; casual friendship makes sense. Also he's a Libra Sun with Venus and Mars Uranus aspects. Friendship is something he can do in his sleep! If I'm entirely honest, I'm feeling rejected due to him not wanting a friendship.

How did you feel as Pluto? Could you do friendship only with these types of aspects? Or have you ever had your Moon (or other spots) hit heavily while also being Pluto? For instance this man's Moon in Cancer and Scorpio Mars is being heavily hit by me...would that make him the Pluto person react differently?

posted June 12, 2017 12:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by EmGem:
Grlygirl, argh that truly sucks. What a crappy situation to be caught up in. I think there must be something in this for your personal growth though.. the universe has presented him to you for a reason.

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@EmGem

Jeez, you don't know the half of it. I keep wondering why I met him at this point. I know we met for a reason as his Mars/Uranus Conjunction is tightly Conjunct my Vertex/Saturn Conjunction, and my Vertex ruler (Pluto) is tightly Conjunct his Mercury- Eros Conjunction (we also have similar charts and/or affinities and NN Conjunct Chiron). I just don't know why. I don't have any major life decisions or changes coming up that would need me to make a choice or reflect on things. In my own relationship I was well aware my bf wasn't "the one" before meeting him, so he didn't change or alter anything that wasn't already there.

posted June 14, 2017 03:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aubyanne:
Opposition here; his MOON, my PLUTO. Under 1°.

We don't do normal. It's limiting and overrated.

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Girl!!!! I MISS YOU. Pls dont disappear again, this section needs your attention...

posted June 14, 2017 04:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by EmGem:
^^ and just like that she reappears
Auby, tell me about your experience please. And here's something I've wondered, with such passion. HOW do you survive the push/pulls???? Because obviously burning passion cannot be sustained for too long right!

@girly, don't ever think the universe wants you to experience pain. Maybe the reason you met will come to light. It could very well be that he has met you as you say to reevaluated love and what it means to him in his life, whether he infact should be getting married. I hate the unknown but I feel the answer will emerge, just maybe not yet.

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posted June 14, 2017 06:07 PM            

You don't, like Orange has alreadynsaid, get to be a "normal" couple.

Even now, not together and after almost 2 decades of knowing each other, this man and I have a hard time being in the same space without touching. It's inherent in who we are with and toward each other. Not touching causes agony.

Moon-Pluto creates the kind of need to be close that other people could describe as tension in the air. Simple gazes set you on fire. You don't realize you're holding your breath until they touch you and you take a deep breath from the shock, pleasure, and excitement of them touching you.

posted June 14, 2017 06:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GrlyGirl200:
There is nothing sadder than a Leo Venus who says they are getting married because they "get along" and "have been together long enough" (it's like jeez I'm a Saturn Opp Venus person and even I wouldn't say that).

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I just had to go through this. Watching a Leo Sun/Merc/Venus marry his girlfriend "because she put up with his bs" and "it's been 8 years, I guess that's what you do"

posted June 15, 2017 08:39 AM            

Do you want a bit of clear honesty here?

Okay I think he doesn’t want to be friends because he can feel that you have feelings for him and he is about to be married. I don’t wish to speak upon whether or not he feels anything for you, as if he has made the choice to avoid spending time with somebody who quite clearly fancies him, then he will not act on any attraction he may or may not have for you.

Secondly, you did meet him for a reason. For YOU to learn from! That’s all we can look at really isn’t it, without speaking to him but having seen your views I recall you mentioning that you are currently in a relationship. So I wonder if there isn’t something to look at here. How would your boyfriend feel if he read how you feel about this other man?

How would you feel in his shoes? Are you having a blip in your relationship, or have you simply moved on and not told him?

I agree marrying because you ‘get along’ etc. is wrong but he doesn’t need to explain his relationship to anybody but his fiancé, so it could be that he simply doesn’t want to discuss his real feelings. Some people aren’t comfortable about doing so, I often find that they make the best partners, as they’re more inclined to *show* their love than declare it. Actions definitely do speak louder than words…..

Sorry if it's not what you want to hear, but strangely enough if you change your energy towards him he probably will choose to be your friend... Life often works that way ;-)

posted June 15, 2017 08:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LionFish:

Not touching causes agony.

Moon-Pluto creates the kind of need to be close that other people could describe as tension in the air. Simple gazes set you on fire. You don't realize you're holding your breath until they touch you and you take a deep breath from the shock, pleasure, and excitement of them touching you.

It's outta this world.

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posted June 15, 2017 11:13 AM            

I saw him yesterday and twice while we were talking I could feel my spirit pulling out of my body towards him to kiss him, both times this happened it felt unexpected to me and I could see it in his face like he could feel it too whatever that was and you can see his face surprised as well....we were surprised but did not talk about it, it was written in our faces

posted June 15, 2017 11:17 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by waxlobster:
Girlygirl,

Do you want a bit of clear honesty here?

Okay I think he doesn’t want to be friends because he can feel that you have feelings for him and he is about to be married. I don’t wish to speak upon whether or not he feels anything for you, as if he has made the choice to avoid spending time with somebody who quite clearly fancies him, then he will not act on any attraction he may or may not have for you.

Secondly, you did meet him for a reason. For YOU to learn from! That’s all we can look at really isn’t it, without speaking to him but having seen your views I recall you mentioning that you are currently in a relationship. So I wonder if there isn’t something to look at here. How would your boyfriend feel if he read how you feel about this other man?

How would you feel in his shoes? Are you having a blip in your relationship, or have you simply moved on and not told him?

I agree marrying because you ‘get along’ etc. is wrong but he doesn’t need to explain his relationship to anybody but his fiancé, so it could be that he simply doesn’t want to discuss his real feelings. Some people aren’t comfortable about doing so, I often find that they make the best partners, as they’re more inclined to *show* their love than declare it. Actions definitely do speak louder than words…..

Sorry if it's not what you want to hear, but strangely enough if you change your energy towards him he probably will choose to be your friend... Life often works that way ;-)

♥

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posted June 15, 2017 11:38 AM            

Him marrying "bc he gets along" is his way of saying "she is my best friend and I love her."

My husband is my best friend but we don't have a very sexual relationship which is a big sacrifice I have made bc I do care for him a lot and appreciate our bond, his companionship and the adventures we embark in together.

I can feel "butterflies" or feel "in love" with someone else but I wont let go of something I know is real and has survived the test of time for it, even if it feels tempting bc the "in love" stage is a drug I am addicted to but is a phase in the life of a relationship and I am aware of that.

posted June 15, 2017 11:52 AM            

Pluto gets you in touch with your primal energy and when combined with the right stuff whispers in your ear "surrender, you know you want to, give in." Lets face it! LOL but it also makes your heart beat super fast all the time when you are around them lol which could be bad for you health long term lol half joking..

Desire does make the world go round, anger comes from desire, desire is that spark that makes you go after things..Its vitality and makes you feel alive!

Pluto forming hard aspects to mars and moon wants you to give in to anger and sexual desire, in aspect to moon and venus it wants to you give in to "love."

But the theme is of "surrender" "giving in" "letting go"

posted June 15, 2017 12:02 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by waxlobster:
Girlygirl,

Do you want a bit of clear honesty here?

Okay I think he doesn’t want to be friends because he can feel that you have feelings for him and he is about to be married. I don’t wish to speak upon whether or not he feels anything for you, as if he has made the choice to avoid spending time with somebody who quite clearly fancies him, then he will not act on any attraction he may or may not have for you.

Secondly, you did meet him for a reason. For YOU to learn from! That’s all we can look at really isn’t it, without speaking to him but having seen your views I recall you mentioning that you are currently in a relationship. So I wonder if there isn’t something to look at here. How would your boyfriend feel if he read how you feel about this other man?

How would you feel in his shoes? Are you having a blip in your relationship, or have you simply moved on and not told him?

I agree marrying because you ‘get along’ etc. is wrong but he doesn’t need to explain his relationship to anybody but his fiancé, so it could be that he simply doesn’t want to discuss his real feelings. Some people aren’t comfortable about doing so, I often find that they make the best partners, as they’re more inclined to *show* their love than declare it. Actions definitely do speak louder than words…..

Sorry if it's not what you want to hear, but strangely enough if you change your energy towards him he probably will choose to be your friend... Life often works that way ;-)

♥

---

Nope, my Cap Moon Square Pluto needs a bit of reality every now and again. So, no you haven't hurt me as I actually kinda assumed it was this way. Well, I hoped I'd be the ugly friend (I was overweight as a child and teen) who has a crush type of thing that men have (the crush doesn't matter because you aren't attracted to her). And maybe we will be friends one day, but I actually think it's in my best interest to try to get rid of how I feel first (hence the cord cutting).

posted June 15, 2017 01:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
Research shows that marrying your best friend eliminates the risk of divorce by over 70%.

Him marrying "bc he gets along" is his way of saying "she is my best friend and I love her."

My husband is my best friend but we don't have a very sexual relationship which is a big sacrifice I have made bc I do care for him a lot and appreciate our bond, his companionship and the adventures we embark in together.

I can feel "butterflies" or feel "in love" with someone else but I wont let go of something I know is real and has survived the test of time for it, even if it feels tempting bc the "in love" stage is a drug I am addicted to but is a phase in the life of a relationship and I am aware of that.

Also I believe we all have the ability to have feelings for more than one person at a time (I sure do) but you can only commit to one....

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Thank you for being so kind, and non judgmental to me. But I have to respectfully disagree with you here. The thing is the divorce rate is already close to 50%, at the start, not barring other factors such as if one is from a divorced home, if one is an attractive individual, if one has a difference in religious ideals or thoughts etc. The rate also doesn't take into affect the amount of people who are unhappy but stay because (let's be honest) divorce is expensive, or because they have children etc. The point I'm getting at is marriage is a huge huge deal...and for someone to say they want to get married because they get along...that doesn't sound like a best friend. That doesn't even sound like a friend to me. Would you say that about your friends? Now if that person was an Aquarius Moon...minus any Neptune/Pluto/Pisces influence I would perhaps buy it (to an extent). But still I'm hard pressed to find someone who is ok with that.

The point I'm getting at is what he said is more telling of what he didn't say. My bf is indeed my best friend, whom I deeply love and have companionship with (I am like you...I could do a poly relationship because I believe that you can have intense feelings for more than one person at a time) but I would NEVER say to someone who is single (or not married) and who I find on some level attractive that I'm getting married because I get along with him. Not only have I put him down but I've made it seem like I'm not into my marriage or me getting married. I'm also a firm believer in not missing the signs. What this particular man has all but said is he doesn't want to get married. He doesn't have to say it. That doesn't mean he isn't committed to his partner. But I don't believe he wants to marry her (or anyone actually...he has natal Venus Square his Uranus-Mars Conjunction, Sextile Jupiter and Parallel Uranus). From an astrological standpoint I actually think marriage for him (with the traditional house in suburbs etc.) is a bad bad BAD idea...and no it's not just me being selfish lol).

You know when I sum up being married I like to quote Chris Rock (a super Aquarius)...he said something along the lines of that life is very very long, and that marriage is boring. He also made a funny joke about how Nelson Mandela could deal with being held captive for years...but couldn't stomach being married. He even made films called, "I think I love my wife." I'm willing to bet his ex wife all assumed they were jokes as opposed to really hearing what he was saying. Now he owns up that he was a bad husband, cheated etc...but he also says he will NEVER get married again.

Companionship is great, but I don't think most people ultimately want that. And why should they. You are right, the super light fluffy feeling you get with someone in the beginning does fade...but passion, excitement, fun and having real intense feelings for each other should not. If people ultimately just wanted a safe feeling of companionship the the divorce rate wouldn't be as high as it is off the bat. As a side I wonder if perhaps someone would be more ok with a safe feeling or lack of passion in a relationship...I would assume they would probably have Moon Saturn and a lack of Pluto and or Neptune in their chart.

posted June 15, 2017 01:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
I dont think you can "cord cut" a strong connection like that, you learn to live with it that is all or to avoid it, you learn to feel without acting on it, if you want to go that route which can be fun too to challenge yourself like that or to avoid the person.

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Mmmm I gotta say you're an interesting person...I like the suggestion of my feelings being a fun challenge. That sounds like something my Pisces Sun Aqua Moon mom would say lol. I'm detecting maybe an Aqua vibe from you...with Pisces...they are all about connections and the like lol. My Mars is tied up with my Moon (and in a water sign)...so making me feel something is almost a guarantee I'm going to want to take action.

posted June 15, 2017 01:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
Very strong plutonic relationships that involve LOVE planets (moon, venus) or asteroids (valentine) or points like BML feel so goood bc it feels sooo good to give into "desire."

Pluto gets you in touch with your primal energy and when combined with the right stuff whispers in your ear "surrender, you know you want to, give in." Lets face it! LOL but it also makes your heart beat super fast all the time when you are around them lol which could be bad for you health long term lol half joking..

Desire does make the world go round, anger comes from desire, desire is that spark that makes you go after things..Its vitality and makes you feel alive!

Pluto forming hard aspects to mars and moon wants you to give in to anger and sexual desire, in aspect to moon and venus it wants to you give in to "love."

But the theme is of "surrender" "giving in" "letting go"

---

posted June 15, 2017 02:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by EmGem:

@Lionfish, please tell me more about you guys. How did you manage the push/pull?? Why and how did you eventually break up?? Tell me more more more. Everything. I understand what you mean by agony of not touching. It's such a deep intense need to be close, to feel, to touch, to look deeply in each other's soul, eyes. I've never experienced anything like this in my life. It's addictive and I want him so badly. He tells me he burns for me, has for a number of years, never wanted anyone so much in his life..
How did you survive the waning passion after the insane burning moments? Obviously it can't always be like that.

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We weren't ready for what we had.. well, he wasn't. And I guess I didn't realize the depth of it for him. He was a player at the time who I had been going through time with for almost 8 years by the time we were actually together. Before we started dating being in the same room as him was tantalizing. It was like the other half of my soul was there to be viewed in all its glory, but I was under no circumstances allowed to interact. I would catch him staring at me the same way I would catch myself staring at him.

We were intimate before we were together and it resulted in his confusion. I thought I had done something terribly wrong, or that I had been used because he basically dropped off the face of the planet for a few months. I did not get a call, a note, an email, he just cut me off. I was completely devastated and felt like an idiot.

Then I was invited to a BBQ over at his roommate's house. I almost didn't go because I was afraid to see him. I went anyway and he stayed holed up in his room until most of the party guests were gone. Just a few of the "regulars" left. Myself included. This wasn't normal for him. He's a social butterfly and, like me, enjoys large gatherings and get-togethers. He found me out on the back patio and the conversation we had led to him on his knees begging me to be his. Begging me to understand how afraid of me he was because I made him want things he had never wanted and to understand that that was why he had disappeared.

Until we broke up, my life was bliss. But I made a mistake. I made a huge mistake. I made a decision that led him to believe someone else was more important. He had walked across town, from work to home and then to me, about 8 miles worth of walking to get to me.. and I messaged him to see what he was doing that night "Coming to see you, dummy." I was ecstatic, even if it was the same thing we had done every night since we started dating. Well, I asked my roommate for her car so I could go pick him up. No need for him to walk all that way if hedidn't have to, you know? My roomie gave me her keys with the stipulation that I take him home because her drug dealer was coming over and he didn't trust people he didn't know. I couldn't have imagined worse timing. So, I picked him up, about 4 blocks from my house, and drove him back to his. I bawled my eyes out the whole way and he wouldn't even talk to me. When I suggested we just hang out at his place he slammed the door to the car and stalked away. I should have chased him. I wanted to. But that was the first time I had seen him angry and it was with me. I was devastated. I got back to my house and my roommate asked where he was. I blew up on her and spent the next hour trying to call and message him, begging him to let me come get him. I finally got a response that said "No, I'm going to go where people want me around." And it was all he said. The next morning he called me and told me he couldn't do this anymore, that it was too much for him. I found out later from his roommate that he had gone out that night to find someone to sleep with, but couldn't cheat on me so he had come home and cried all night instead.

Bring on another few months of no communication. My heart was gone. I had no drive, no energy, no dedication to anything but tears. Have you ever cried for 4 months straight? I have. I truly felt like my soul had been ripped into a million pieces. I had triggered the insecurities of Leo as well as the jealousy of our Moon-Pluto. If he hadn't been an uber Leo (Asc, Sun, Mer, Ven, Jup) or if we hadn't had that Moon-Pluto connection, maybe we would have been able to work it out.

I can tell you that over the years since all that happened, the feelings have not lessened or changed. None of our significant others could deal with the intensity of our feelings for each other. His now wife even forbid his seeing me. I can understand why. He introduced her to me as his "friend" not his "girlfriend" while I was sitting in his lap and then proceeded to walk home that night after she asked "who is that b*tch?" yeah, she hates me.

Here, read this if you like. A recount of recent interactions with him: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/006594.html

posted June 15, 2017 02:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GrlyGirl200:
Thank you for being so kind, and non judgmental to me. But I have to respectfully disagree with you here. The thing is the divorce rate is already close to 50%, at the start, not barring other factors such as if one is from a divorced home, if one is an attractive individual, if one has a difference in religious ideals or thoughts etc. The rate also doesn't take into affect the amount of people who are unhappy but stay because (let's be honest) divorce is expensive, or because they have children etc. The point I'm getting at is marriage is a huge huge deal...and for someone to say they want to get married because they get along...that doesn't sound like a best friend. That doesn't even sound like a friend to me. Would you say that about your friends? Now if that person was an Aquarius Moon...minus any Neptune/Pluto/Pisces influence I would perhaps buy it (to an extent). But still I'm hard pressed to find someone who is ok with that.

The point I'm getting at is what he said is more telling of what he didn't say. My current bf is indeed my best friend, whom I deeply love and have companionship with (I am like you...I could do a poly relationship because I believe that you can have intense feelings of love for more than one person at a time) but I would NEVER say to someone who is single (or not married) and who I find on some level attractive that I'm getting married because I get along with him. Not only have I put him down but I've made it seem like I'm not into my marriage or me getting married. I'm also a firm believer in not missing the signs. What this particular man has all but said is he doesn't want to get married. He doesn't have to say it. That doesn't mean he isn't committed to his partner. But I don't believe he wants to marry her (or anyone actually...he has natal Venus Square his Uranus-Mars Conjunction, Sextile Jupiter and Parallel Uranus). From an astrological standpoint I actually think marriage for him (with the traditional house in suburbs etc.) is a bad bad BAD idea...and no it's not just me being selfish lol).

You know when I sum up being married I like to quote Chris Rock (a super Aquarius)...he said something along the lines of that life is very very long, and that marriage is boring. He also made a funny joke about how Nelson Mandela could deal with being held captive for years...but couldn't stomach being married. He even made films called, "I think I love my wife." I'm willing to bet his ex wife all assumed they were jokes as opposed to really hearing what he was saying. Now he owns up that he was a bad husband, cheated etc...but he also says he will NEVER get married again.

Companionship is great, but I don't think most people ultimately want that. And why should they. You are right, the super light fluffy feeling you get with someone in the beginning does fade...but passion, excitement, fun and having real intense feelings for each other should not. If people ultimately just wanted a safe feeling of companionship the the divorce rate wouldn't be as high as it is off the bat. As a side I wonder if perhaps someone would be more ok with a safe feeling or lack of passion in a relationship...I would assume they would probably have Moon Saturn and a lack of Pluto and or Neptune in their chart.

As far as Libra/Cancer dude, he's getting married and whether it lasts or not (I don't think it will, but that's for him to figure out...his chart I'll admit is an interesting one...like close to Angelina Jolie and her natal signatures) is a moot point. What's more interesting to me is these exchanges about relationships, they make my 7th house Moon heart happy lol. And I hope I haven't said anything offensive or rude.

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LOL that is soo funny I LOOOOOOOVE Chris Rock's Married Life jokes! .. he is right on!

Divorce rate went up when people started to get married for love btw..

I loooove passion but I also see how it can get in the way of stability in a relationship bc emotions run so high that both people are more likely to ruin it with insecurities, jealousy, immaturity and impulsivity and that kind of intensity can be draining when is part of the daily life maybeeeeeeeeeeee.

The honeymoon phase does wear off typically after 2 years research shows apparently and yes that means the passion and excitement are replaced with a different kind of intimacy as time passes that can be described more as companionship.

Once you move in with someone and spend all your days with them and start cleaning together, cooking together, dealing with the daily stressors of life together it does change the nature of the relationship and you transition out of the honeymoon phase, I get you want to believe the honeymoon phase can last forever so do I! but based on the high divorce rates and how many people stay in not fully satisfying marriages or straight up unhappy marriages like you mention is clear that the honeymoon phase does not last forever....

You have not been rude at all love, you are amazing! We are mainly on the same page and I do understand your points and get were you are coming from and hope that I am wrong about everything I Just said! I want to be wrong, I am a freaking hopeless romantic lol

I will add that my partner has Venus squaring his mars conjunct Uranus which are right on his DC but he is a sun Libra conjunct Saturn in Libra with moon in cancer and his Juno conjuncts my Sun exact, his Jupiter and Saturn and Sun also conjunct my sun but his Saturn conjuncts my sun out of sign since I am a late degree Virgo. The main reason we are still together is because of him, he has more staying power than me but yes when we started dating he supposedly did not want to commit, I could see right through it, I felt he was totally a relationship person in denial, I feel is all that libra and that moon in cancer. He gets attached and Libra really values companionship, they want a partner who they can do everything with..Our relationship I feel is very uranian yes...we have venus square uranus in composite too with Venus right on the DC....we have been married for 6 years in July and together for 10 years but since the beginning we were like a married couple always together etc...

posted June 15, 2017 02:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GrlyGirl200:
Mmmm I gotta say you're an interesting person...I like the suggestion of my feelings being a fun challenge. That sounds like something my Pisces Sun Aqua Moon mom would say lol. I'm detecting maybe an Aqua vibe from you...with Pisces...they are all about connections and the like lol. My Mars is tied up with my Moon (and in a water sign)...so making me feel something is almost a guarantee I'm going to want to take action.

But perhaps this is the death that you were speaking of with Pluto. I assume Pluto in synastry/natal/composite could be the death of feelings...and a rebirth of something new. I don't even know if that makes sense...I'm literally just spit balling ideas lol. Esp if you can't have someone or whatever.

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edited:

hahaha I have sun in the 11th squaring Neptune my 5H ruler and my tightest aspect in my chart is Jupiter conjunct Uranus in the 1H, is an exact conjunction. I have lilith on the IC in aquarius too..

I have moon in pisces in the 4th house square neptune.