posted February 19, 2020 12:06 PM            

Took an adventurous trip to have a proper date and fell in love at first sight, it was reciprocated, he was as smitten as I was.

Lots of pain though, because I had decided to live those days as a beautiful dream and then leave and never contact him again, because I didn't want to get in a long distance relationship.

I suffered horribly being apart from him from the first hour and he did too, so the contact intensified since we weren't able to avoid keeping in touch.

We rushed headlong in a committed, passionate, incredibly loving long distance relationship. Crazy love as you see in novels, movies, etc. and we were perfect.

He came to see me as often as he could. We never fought, there was never jealousy, we laughed A LOOOOOT. We didn't know what the future would bring but didn't even care as long as we could keep each other, no matter how.

This lasted 5 years and ended suddenly because of my family's hard opposition and emotional blackmail.
I felt like I was dying. And maybe a part of me did.

We kept in touch as nothing had happened for the first couple of months, but all of a sudden he disappeared, leaving me lovestruck and crazy with pain and longing and anger.

I suspected he was having an affair, I never knew for certain. I felt deeply deluded, disappointed, as if I had never really known who this man really was, I never thought he could abandon me emotionally as he was doing.

After 20 days he came back to contact me as nothing had happened. I was above all disappointed and I voiced my disappointment.
We started speaking intensely and he did not admit anything, but said very convincingly that we are meant to be together no matter what, that he loved me as always, etc.

But at that point trust was broken, I had lost that blind trust I had in him. And this prevented me from doing anything to really salvage that relationship.

I started dating another man that couldn't be more different from him, but this is a story for another time...

He had other relationships since we broke up, a few years ago, but he always ended up alone. Sometimes we get in touch, from his side with open regret, while I keep mine hidden, as the song says...

He is like a hard drug for me, even with a simple message too many intense feelings are stirred, so I keep shutting things down.
But at the same time my mind goes to him and I dream of him quite regularly, which is unusual for me.

posted February 19, 2020 01:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeoSagRisingTaurusMoon:
Hi Graham! Ok, will add the slimmer version. I already did on the other thread, haha

I had added those asteroids because I thought these could add something to the interpretation of the synastry.

https://i.imgur.com/qnFtAj0.png

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posted February 19, 2020 05:51 PM            

"i would say you being the moon here probably do this thing which kindov bugs mars which is umm... close yourself off emotionally ??"
I never used to do this when we were together, even because we never fought. I started doing this after his 20 days disappearance, when he wanted to come back to our relationship as there hadn't been a huge breach of trust and even manners - he knew I was suffering so much for what my family had put us through, but didn't care to hurt me from a perspective I had never realized he could, I was like "you don't know if I live or die but disappear without a word?"
So in the weeks after the 20 days gap I acted this way, but because I was afraid, I couldn't reconcile the man I had loved with the stranger who had ghosted me.

"Maybe in those days he didn't talk he was waiting for you? instead of seeing someone else? "
I doubt it very much, because in the two weeks before the 20 days disappearance he revealed a totally different side of himself, that I didn't know at all. He became each day more aloof, cold, distant, while I was loving as always he acted like he wanted to fight with me at all costs. I reached out to him in the usual ways but often he didn't answer calls or messages, and when he did he was every day nastier. I was so confused and pained for his behaviour, I couldn't believe that was the man I had loved for years.

" mean a scorpio mars with a taurus moon - you guys would be able of quite some loyalty to each other"
Yes we were faithful to each other in the 5 years we spent together, despite the distance.

"your moon makes a trine with your mars tho so maybe you find him chasing you quite appealing despite the opposition"
Indeed I do have this aspect natally, and I also have Moon and Mars in exaltation in my own natal chart, so I do find him chasing me appealing, always did

"Now saturn hmmm well you probably might feel sometimes like he criticises your emotions , and he might in turn think oh your emotions are so "immature". "
This rings true. He was not much older than me but spoiled me like a child, maybe because he had lived a lot of things and had a lot of experiences, while he was my first bf. Sometimes there was a kind of daddy vibe, in the Lolita meaning

" Now the venus conjuct mars "
This was crazy sexy, sort of alchemy. I couldn't keep my hands off him.

"moon in cancer + moon in taurus i can think he would be interested in having a family with you (moon in cancer would make someone more family orientated than most even with that "detached" aqua sun) and your moon in taurus probably would feel fine with that"
That resonates with me, and he felt like this too.

In my opinion, aspects worth taking a long hard look are:

1- his Venus SQUARE both my Nodes
2- his Pluto opposition my North node and conjunct my south Node
3- his Juno conjunct my Moon and trines my Venus and my Mars
4- his North node conjunct my Chiron (quite loosely, the orb is 6ish)
5- his Neptune on my ascendant

posted February 20, 2020 04:37 AM            

"The Surfer adapts to her environment, but without letting herself be manipulated. She is an individualist with great dedication; hard to evaluate; sensitive; happy to let others have their way; defends herself only rarely; sometimes forgets to assert herself and tends to see the world in a positive light (but it lets her down over and over again). ..... The Streamer is probably a loner who has few long-standing friends; may be perceived as manipulating or interfering; learns quickly; can spot other people's sore points; ultimately wants to challenge fate itself and seeks to experience life for himself. However, he does not know clearly where life is taking him." [From Aspect Pattern Astrology, by the Hubers.]

posted February 29, 2020 09:28 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Graham:
You need to explore the [b]Streamer configuration in his natal chart (shown in the first image posted below); the Sun-Pluto-Saturn-Neptune Surfer configuration in your own natal chart (shown in the second image posted below) and the synastry aspects between these two configurations. [Note that both of you have outer planets aspecting the inner planets of the other ... and these may indicate a karmic connection.]

"The Surfer adapts to her environment, but without letting herself be manipulated. She is an individualist with great dedication; hard to evaluate; sensitive; happy to let others have their way; defends herself only rarely; sometimes forgets to assert herself and tends to see the world in a positive light (but it lets her down over and over again). ..... The Streamer is probably a loner who has few long-standing friends; may be perceived as manipulating or interfering; learns quickly; can spot other people's sore points; ultimately wants to challenge fate itself and seeks to experience life for himself. However, he does not know clearly where life is taking him." [From Aspect Pattern Astrology, by the Hubers.]

So ... how did/does your wariness of being manipulated (by Pluto) deal with his (Pluto) potential to manipulate? [/B]

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Hi Graham! Thank you for the accuracy and the infos on the Surfer configuration, fits me to a T. I look like I'm easygoing and prone to accommodate others' desires, but won't let myself be manipulated. Not a part of the pack, rather individualist but dedicated.

The Streamer pattern fits him, too.
What I didn't notice, when we were together, was the tendency to manipulate me. I didn't even notice it, could this be a strategy?

Now that I think of this, I understand that he tried to, but gently and convincingly, and in fact he did obtain something, but out of love I reckon. He has a Scorpio Mars too.
We didn't fight, but bickered a lot with lots of laughter, could it be Venus opposite Mercury?

I was (and am) wary of being manipulated, quite headstrong too, and I guess he understood this.

posted March 01, 2020 07:25 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ULT12:
The exuberant laughter is mainly because of his Jupiter/Your ASC-slash-H1. When our Planets land in others H1, their expression is amplified because we feel totally comfortable expressing that part of ourselves with the other. This does not detract from mb something else contributing the same effect, I'm just here to say the Jupiter-1 synastry overlay is really, really positive.

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posted March 15, 2020 02:44 PM            

Someone could help me looking up the transits of this synastry? I'm no good at reading and interpreting transits...

posted April 03, 2020 06:16 PM            

The first thing that I noticed was a transiting chiron square to his natal moon, which might make him feel more vulnerable about past heartaches, which might make him feel like putting a guard up. It's hard to express what you really want to others at this time, and hard to understand what others want from you.
Add that to transitting pluto trine his chiron, he was feeling like he can resolve some of the stuff that make him feel inadequate or hurt. It's a moment to resolve that which causes pain or depression.
Then, there's transitting mercury square his natal chiron. So, that conversation that you had might have brought some of his negative qualities out to light which was probably really painful to hear. I would tell him to be accountable, not argumentative, so that you can work it out
with honesty and grow from there.

posted May 06, 2020 07:40 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Charmander1761:
Hi,
I'm going to try my best to help.

The first thing that I noticed was a transiting chiron square to his natal moon, which might make him feel more vulnerable about past heartaches, which might make him feel like putting a guard up. It's hard to express what you really want to others at this time, and hard to understand what others want from you.
Add that to transitting pluto trine his chiron, he was feeling like he can resolve some of the stuff that make him feel inadequate or hurt. It's a moment to resolve that which causes pain or depression.
Then, there's transitting mercury square his natal chiron. So, that conversation that you had might have brought some of his negative qualities out to light which was probably really painful to hear. I would tell him to be accountable, not argumentative, so that you can work it out
with honesty and grow from there.

I'm not surprised that he reached out to you. Especially by asking about something work related when in reality, he probably wants to talk about working things out with you, not work.
Good luck, my dear. You deserve love, and more than that you deserve respect, care, and honesty.

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Thank you for your input. Your insight really do resonate with what we've been living, but after a long time overthinking and possibly regretting some things, now for the first time I feel that I am at a breaking point when this connection is concerned.

He contacted me 3 or 4 times since I last wrote here, using the pretext of asking me important informations, but for the first time it looked like he called me just to be as insulting as he could (clearly not exceeding limits, otherwise I would have closed the communication). That call left me with a bitter taste in my mouth and above all I was puzzled. I saw him as I had never admitted I could see him: immature and vulgar. I was, maybe for the first time, offended.
Next day he texted me but I did not reply.

Maybe I'm just no more used to the endless bickering I enjoyed when we were in a relationship. (I found out today that we are Moon OPPOSITE Mars double whammy! Experiences with this aspect?)

Maybe I am finally giving him a cold hard look and admitting I had overvalued him, and being able to do this means I have no love left in my heart for him.