posted April 06, 2022 04:08 AM            

Yes I understand it might be good to take a break.

For me astrology is an attempt of abstraction from the mundane into some sort of patterns. That's its therapeutical part for me.

In case you get interested in it eventually, you can try your Draco with his gf. With Draco stuff, oppositions are the past/ past lives (SNode theme) and conjunctions are the present/ future/ soul contracts (NNode theme). Of course including Draco to Tropical.

posted April 10, 2022 06:04 PM            

I had been doing SO WELL and felt I had finally let him go and was able to communicate in a totally normal way. WHY is this HAPPENING!!! I'm so beyond furious and upset. I feel I'm being psychically tortured.

...

Alma, with the girlfriend, her Jupiter opposes my POF and her Nessus opposes my Pluto. Conjunctions: her Saturn/my Vesta, her Venus/my Pluto, her moon/my Neptune and Uranus, her Mars/IC / my Saturn. So... nothing freaking good. I haven't even met her. But she really turns me off, the way she presents herself.

And yeah, his unaspected Venus/Lilith is such a giant mystery to me considering he has clear issues with women and all his paintings are of women. So pathetic. There's only a 3* conjunction from his tropical Venus/Lilith to his Draco Mars.

posted April 20, 2022 08:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by AlmaRegulus:

It's really weird that he has this Venusian profession with Venus unaspected! Not even Draco to Tropical? Maybe declinations? Or in declinations it might be out of bounds?

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posted November 25, 2022 12:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by outofideas:
Sounds like a sleazy guy to me. Virgo Sun/Venus and Scorpio Moon. What a mess. He's not even giving you the time of day by the sounds of it. If he often ignores your messages how about you show him who's boss when you see him in person. Mingle with everyone else but him. Act like he's not important at all. But really pull it off though. When you interact with him be non chalant. Just keep it professional or whatever. Act like you're taken also. Confuse the heck out of him. He clearly has no intention of making any moves or chasing you. And your firey Moon and Venus need that excitement. The guy is effing boring.
Unfortunately with the Davison/Composite Venus/Saturn conjunction/opposition you are glued to him. But is he glued to you? Sounds like he isn't. So how about you give him the cold shoulder. I know all too well about not being able to trust your own guidance and stuff. That Neptune in the composite/davison is really confusing things, but keep trying to take yourself out of it. Don't waste your time on a blind moron. I don't care if your Pluto is conjunct his Scorpio Moon. Not worth it. Try everything to move on from him. Best is to find a new man who appreciates you and makes you happy.
I highly doubt you owe him anything from a past life. If you want you can share what you've seen from past lives. But honestly don't go out of your way to "pay back". So many people owe so much to gentle souls and don't pay them back. Why should you sweat for some slow ass idiot who spends his days with pretty models anyway.
Hope my rant helps and give you the fire you need to chuck this waste of time away.

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Holy sh*** you are so on point.

I'm now in school with him, thankfully only one class with him a week, but I'm afraid I'll have more next semester. The gossip is that he's a sleazy Don Juan who cheats on his on/off girlfriend with married students, etc. He is REALLY into me but hasn't had the courage to make a move - he hints but doesn't ask directly. I make him very nervous, but I think he's slowly getting used to my energy. He obviously had a really hard time in the year I didn't see him - something bad happened but I don't know what. I have no interest in him and find him extremely disappointing. At the same time, I have seemingly infinite compassion for him. So idk.

posted August 12, 2023 05:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by vansio:
But here’s my own opinion: the man has a debilitated Virgo Venus and potentially also Scorpio Moon in Sidereal astrology. As a Scorpio Rising, this would mean his dharma (virtues) and relationships are busted. The women in his life are mostly weak, insecure, hypercritical, and manipulative, and he doesn’t treat them well (doesn’t know how to; puts them to work for him—he is spiritually bankrupt.). By proxy, what would this imply about you if you were to get together? You plan on fixing him? I would size-up a man based solely on his past (the consequence of that today), and after an educated astrological and social judgement, would steer clear for the sanctity of my own feminine abundance. The evolutionary stage of our planets influence others, for better or worse...

Again, my opinion, the synastry and composite is not worth this madness—not compatible for partnership, lacks Harmony. Maybe influential as distant colleagues (Sun/Mercury opp Uranus/Neptune in Comp) used for inspiration that hinges on escapism. You’re actually selling yourself emotionally-short with this guy—wake up sister. Insisting on opportunity points to a current Self-worth issue. Work on that (We all been there—it’s a low.) You know more harmonious synastry and composites are available to you in this life?

F*ck this guy. He’s not good enough for you - don’t get it twisted.

...

This attachment is negative, infested/chaos/demonic, not based in Light whatsoever. The eggs on my stove exploded, then my coffee mug fell and shattered—meanwhile I’ve only been writing to you about this connection. Make of that what you will. Best of luck. 🧿

Address the māyā head-on (face him) or cut this person out of your life and don’t look back. That crap ^ is not a joke - the fact that the entity torturing you through this Virgo-man-narrative wanted to now f*ck with me for redirecting [with basic empowerment advice] to truth-seeking and self-love-intelligence? Damn dude. Seriously? Please detach from this dynamic; detach from whatever otherworldly-concepts it’s been using against you to entice/trap your ego to mine lifeenergy from. That’s not your gut (intuition) talking, that’s fear, same epicenter. Love doesn’t cause pain or confusion, pretty low vibe. I’ve said enough.
http://www.huffpost.com/entry/your-gut-feeling-fear-or-_b_6667194

Use your intellect!

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I have to say, after all this time, Vansio was completely right about this guy.

After getting engaged to and then again breaking up with his on/off girlfriend who (supposedly) threw plates at him, in a relationship plagued by addiction and revenge-cheating, within 24 hours he latched onto and hooked up with one of his students and within a couple months traveled out of the country to meet her parents, etc. This guy is seriously and obviously in pain... but he's no angel (like all of us) and (unlike most of us) is about two decades behind in his emotional and psychological maturity, not to mention spiritual awareness.

We made a strong connection in March-May 2021 and I immediately started having intense dreams about him/us and in my waking life I got sucked into twin flame ideology (which I no longer believe in now), which kept me obsessed. When I left his country but tried to keep in touch, he left me on read yet watched all my stories within minutes of my posting them. Eventually I got sick of this and blocked him. Then the fake profiles started popping up with cryptic messages, watching my stories. When I found out I'd be returning to his country to study in the school where he teaches (we're only three years apart), I reached out again. He replied at first, then ghosted again. When I arrived, he was super weird with me - hinting at where he hangs out but not inviting me directly. At first I tried to rekindle a friendship, but he rudely and repeatedly pushed me away. Yet he would hover around me, eavesdropping on my conversations. He was and still is extremely anxious around me. Now he is back to watching my stories obsessively through his real profile. I'm no longer his student and won't be returning.

Throughout my year studying with him (I only had one evening class with him once a week) I completely lost respect for this guy. Besides his rudeness and hot/cold indirect behavior, it was obvious that he screwed a lot of the women in his daily environment. He was unprofessional and unpleasant. While my heart breaks for him, I have nothing left for him but a strange mixture of pity, disgust, and contempt.

Yet during that year, I was still completely addicted to him, to his energy, to the potential I saw, to hope. I thought about him constantly, I also stalked him online, I watched tarot readings daily at one point. It was bad. I repeatedly tried to "quit" him but I was addicted. I also found I was able to manifest encounters with him if I wanted to.

I grew a lot from this though. First of all, he reignited my professional ambitions. They had already been reignited I suppose, but meeting him (the illusion of him) the first time showed me that my professional dreams really are possible. Even more importantly, the experience forced me to work on myself - my attachment style/wounds, etc. I can now discern so much better what kind of people are actually good for me and the horrible qualities that are my siren song, things I'm fatally attracted to and need to avoid. I delved deeper into my spirituality, more than ever before. I saw him as my shadow and did a lot of work to integrate that shadow.

I am so grateful the universe kept us apart. Rejection really is divine protection and even though the student he's screwing now has been horribly mean to me (Vansio was right in that he's attracted to insecure, passive aggressive, negative, judgmental girls who are easily threatened by other women), I'm so grateful to her for being a ready, available, and willing **** for him to focus on. I'm so happy and relieved I'm not in her position.

I cannot quantify the time and tears I've spent on this person. It's obvious that he is as obsessed with me as I was with him, but he's too insecure and too intimidated by me to make a move. Ultimately it's extremely sad to watch, and to be in this situation. I know he's in love with me, but he puts me on a pedestal and thinks himself unworthy. He creates self-fulfilling prophecies constantly. Like Galactic said, he's so unconscious that the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing.

I find every time I'm denied what I think I want it is because I deserve so much better. Sometimes someone comes into our life to show us what we really want, and because of them we're able to clarify and align with our true desires. But then it turns out that person was never actually what we thought, and we've already ascended beyond them. They can't be part of our lives because we're no longer in alignment with them - they're still in the low vibe place where we started. We are aligning instead with what we truly desire, which it turns out, is not that person after all.

I hope this story comforts anyone out there who might be going through a similar experience. The best advice I can give is to see the person as a mirror showing you what you want and what you need to work on. Also learn to see obsession as an addiction to overcome - it is an addiction to the mind/thought/ego, and only detachment from the mind (through meditation) can help alleviate it.

This video and this one helped me release the twin flame idea and figure out what to work on.

posted November 24, 2023 09:39 AM            

I have just a few weeks left here in his country/city before I leave, and I can't believe that after 2.5 years I still can't even call him my friend. The sad part is that I don't even want to. But my spirit still desperately feels the connection.

Yet he has stopped appearing in my dreams. Those dreams that were so strong, that felt like more than any other dream...

His Venus Return chart for the coming year indicates a major shift, whether with his current or previous partner, who knows. I think he will marry one of them, impulsively.

I just want to get away from him now. He is toxic, even evil. I think he was a witch hunter in a past life, someone with heavy karma with a lot of women. Deeply unconscious. Yet I can't even say I know him that well... Yet all his behavior and reputation says the worst. No one has a single good thing to say about his character.

I am avoiding him. I should go to an event tonight where he might be, but I don't want to just because I don't want to see him. I might go just for my friends. But I even blocked him online (again).

More than anything I hate who he is with now - an insecure, passive aggressive mean girl who's been extremely and unnecessarily mean to me, even though we've literally never had a conversation. I am sure he has made up stories and lied about me, as he did about another woman in the past. It seems he flirts with and manipulates girls, toys with them, collects his little fan club so he can have someone to latch onto whenever his relationship fails. Then when he doesn't, when they get hurt and lash out, he acts like they're crazy and he's the victim. He never leaves a verifiable trace online. He uses his teaching position and the school as his personal brothel. It's disgusting.

More than anything I want validation from him - I want to know that I wasn't wrong, that he did/does have feelings for me, that the connection I feel is real. I want to be right. But I don't know that I will ever get the validation I long for, and I long for it more than any real relationship with him. Maybe I'm just another one of his victims.

I'm sick of it - every time I let go and get over it, it only lasts so long before I'm sucked back in. I've never been so back-and-forth about anyone in my life.

It makes me distrust Spirit... the dreams, the synchronicities, everything. How can I trust my intuition or any signs ever again? I mean, look at that composite! Vertex on the DC, Sun-Juno-Mercury-Pholus conjunction! Saturn conjunct North Node!

How can it all amount to nothing?

Pluto has been going back and forth over the composite North Node/Saturn conjunction for months and right now it is once again sitting exactly on the north node.

posted November 25, 2023 05:20 PM            

"Vertex connections and Nodal connections via synastry play out very differently in the scheme of our developing consciousness... It is the Moon [the nodes] that represents not only our past, but our anchored physicality–our selves as represented in matter. The Moon represents the matter of our physical body and all the planes that influence and affect that body: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. The Moon carries the egoic egg that retains our energetic aura. The Moon is our collected history, our definition of ourselves by whatever our encounters with life (and past lives) have brought to our identity. It is the result of our gathered experience.... The Vertex represents something very different. It is the ultimate individuality, the unique creative Self without the reference points of the past. Imagine a pure you, a unique spark of the cosmos, that is not defined by interacting with material existence. The Earth represents our perspective, our pure point of view, our idea of ourselves as an individual element in the greater divinity. An identity without the need for ego defenses. An identity whose only purpose is to take part in that greater divinity in whatever way it can... Vertex contacts, no matter what end of the axis they hit, assist the process of that divinity directly…. The point of all Vertex contacts is to reveal ourselves from a perspective that is higher and deeper than ordinary conscious awareness. In a way, the Vertex is beyond the Nodes, which are all about the development of consciousness. The Vertex unveils the “Watcher,” in us. The one who knows. The one who is beyond the conscious Self." Source

So the nodes deal with the development of consciousness, while the soul/existence/divinity itself is represented by the vertices. Notice that I say consciousness DEVELOPS while the soul-essence can merely be REPRESENTED. In other words, our divine essence is eternal and unchanging; it does not undergo the evolution that consciousness must. The Higher Self is just THERE, ever-watching, ever-present, unchanging and unbothered.

So what I’ve realized regarding this connection is this:

Disregarding copious other aspects, what always stuck out to me about our synastry is the Vertex-Node action. I can’t be 100% sure of his birth time, so it’s reasonable to suspect his Vertex is even closer to my South Node than it appears. (Here it is a 7’ orb.) This makes sense of the connection, especially as recognized by me. I consciously (node) recognize his soul (vertex). And it's possible my current consciousness is meant to trigger a spiritual awakening in him.

More importantly, my Vertex squares his Nodal axis. As we all know, natal squares to the nodal axis indicate a “skipped step”: something one refuses to face until it is brought to their attention over and over again, until they learn to face it. [My persistent frustration with 136 has been his resistance to WAKING UP spiritually and psychologically (consciously) - and it bothers me in him more than it has anyone else, even those who’ve wounded me the deepest.]

In synastry, squares to the nodes are not significant UNLESS they conjunct a skipped step already present in the natal (this being a “prior condition”). As it happens, my Vertex conjuncts 136’s moon, which also squares his nodes. Again, due to the imprecision of his time of birth, it’s possible the conjunction is closer than the 6’ orb I’ve determined through rectification.

On top of that, since his nodal axis conjuncts his MC/IIC axis (probably), it’s even more intense and pertinent - especially given the thematic relationship between the IC and the moon. (And what am I but a Cancer AC?) And then - why not - let’s just throw in my Pluto on his moon for good measure. (Because Pluto rules Scorpio, and what is he but a Scorpio AC?) (Yes, our chart rulers, in one another's charts, are conjunct - just as our name asteroids, in one another's charts, are conjunct.)

Mars is also part of this, by the way. "Squares from one chart to another’s Vertex axis will stimulate this ‘Self beyond self.’" My natal Mars squares 136's Vertex - and the unaspected Mars in our composite conjuncts it. What is Spirit trying to tell him? Maybe: Don't be such a weenie.

Imagine: you encounter someone whose Vertex and Pluto conjunct your moon (your most sensitive, unconscious point), all of them squaring your nodes; whose SN conjuncts your Vertex; whose Sun conjuncts your DC and opposes your chart ruler; and whose Mars squares your Vertex axis. That is a LOT of triggering.

…and so…

Tonight I went to a very interesting sound bath. I asked for help to let go of 136. I won’t relay all of the information here as it’s very special and still fresh for me, but among other things I received this message:

That he cannot face me because he cannot face himself.
He cannot accept me because he cannot accept himself.

I think that says it all. To him, I am the embodiment of everything he fears to face about himself. I am the red flag stuck in the obstacle to his consciousness-growth, an obstacle that is the Final Boss of his entire karmic battle in this incarnation and many before.

Not that I am oh-so-important. Just a trigger for growth.

But not a growth I can deliberately control, no matter how much I want to shake him awake. That's been part of the lesson for me: we can't force anyone to grow. We can only light the way through our own example.

For my part, I realized I haven’t let go yet because I haven’t truly wanted to - because I know I am right: probably not about everything (lol), but about him, about the connection, yes. Last night I asked Spirit - I said I would pull ONE card - if 136 and I are “twin flames” (though I hate that concept/phrase) and the one card was: 2 of Cups. I told Spirit I was going to jump out the window. lol

In any case… I still am not sticking around for this boy. If he has to lose me AGAIN to realize his skipped step, that’s fine by me. As I have said, just because there is a 5D connection doesn’t mean it can manifest in the 3D - not without significant ego-deaths and spiritual work. I’m committed to mine, but his battle is his own. I have to be satisfied with knowing, and stop needing/seeking validation from him. Because he just can’t give it to me - or to himself - right now.

I hope with these revelations I am one step closer to peace. And I hope my story helps someone out there. Don’t waste your time with morons, no matter what the energetic truth may be. We incarnated for a reason.