posted August 20, 2021 12:24 AM            

The full story: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/005230.html

The story is we met for six weeks and had an intense attraction, something I've never felt before. When I left his country it seemed I wouldn't return and he got back with his ex and ghosted me. I was fully obsessed with him and blocked him on social media to avoid it, but when he realized that he freaked out and made a fake account to message me, etc. Months later I messaged him to say I would be returning to study at the same school as him in the fall. This was my Saturn Return, and repeating themes from my waxing square. immediately after the six weeks seeing this person every day, my then-husband and I suddenly divorced out of the blue and my sister volunteered to take over the care of our father (after years of not stepping up), thus liberating me to pursue my dharma, the same studies/career as this Virgo/Scorp.

The most intense dreams, including a sex dream in a church, about him and tons of synchronicities that led me to study with him/at the school where he teaches. I finally got the dreams about him to stop, and then he started showing up in my meditations. I even resisted going to his school and went to another one instead, but it was such a painful experience and fell apart. Through some other crazy synchronicities I ended up enrolled at his school for the following year instead (literally, someone had to die so I could inherit the funds to attend)… it’s like I did all I could to avoid being with him/at his school and life just brutally pushed me in that direction. As if I had no choice!

posted August 20, 2021 01:20 AM              

Perhaps it could help you as well?

posted August 20, 2021 04:05 AM            

Practice exposing yourself comprehensively - an expression tinged with romanticism (fundamental vulnerability, even tragedy) that may or may not be reciprocated, though eventually enacting this would no longer feel so critical, after enough blows. Accept yourself, accept your feelings, and share them. Skill requires practice, start today.

Tell him whatever you want. (You’re an arse / the love of my life / I want more, etc) just be honest (or extra, eloquent) for once and for all. To them.

quote:

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Jan Spiller, Pluto in the Fith House

STATIC
You might withhold using your talents in ways that arouse a creative, spontaneous reaction in others. Failing to tune them into a deeper awareness of their emotional and sexual expression can rob you and them of being in touch with truly creative energies.

You might repress responding dramatically and spontaneously to situations because you fear awakening energies that you or others might not be able to handle. Thus, you may undergo emotional stagnation. When you use ego to repress creativity, it might lead to resenting others for the loss of your spontaneity of self-expression.

DYNAMIC
You can be willing to go beyond your greatest fears and use your power of dramatic expression. You can provoke others into a deeper contact with their inhibitions about expressing themselves completely. Giving voice to your inner child tunes you in to a deeper meaning of loyalty. You can commit to fully expressing dynamic spontaneity when you realize that the creative power that flows through you is not from your ego. As a consequence, you may encounter at first temporary disruption and invalidation in your relationships with others, followed by emotional purification.

When you sacrifice the unconscious motivation of wanting to control others' opinions through your ego power, you are able to operate from a clear motive. Then you can express yourself with a buoyant sense of drama for the purpose of contributing inspiration. Taking the risk of recognizing and exposing your sense of creative spontaneity leads you past your greatest fears and into self-mastery.

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Ps, you won’t “move on” until you [continue to] express yourself. And I don’t mean by detailing your “thoughts” about a situation til you’re blue in the face, rather, express/perform/act-on your baseline feeling. Act-on = move-on

Us 5H Pluto people will not stand to be repressed culturally, creatively, romantically, existentially. Get there, babe. Do it (take action) for you; you’re amazing, and powerful, and sexy, and divine, and deep. I’m proud of us to say, more than any other Pluto house placement, Love (crushing, being crushed) only makes us stronger. It’s the territory. Believe it.

posted August 20, 2021 10:43 AM            

Vansio, I know that you are so right on so many levels... But I have run that risk before and the result was horrible. I can't do that to myself again, out of sheer self-respect. I can, however, channel the energy into my creative work... at least I can try. In a month, I will finally be doing that work in a full-time program that I hope will help me forget this person, but I can't fathom another month of this.

Everything you said is so true. I wish I had read that ten years ago. Thank you I agree we cannot to be repressed culturally, creatively, romantically, existentially, and I'm proud of that too. I WILL channel it into my own creative efforts, not into him! And thank you for the Carmen Ah what a timeless work of art

posted August 20, 2021 06:32 PM            

I think he can't be indifferent with this Sun-Moon-Pluto stuff. Not only you have these aspects between you two but each of you mirrors Pluto involvement.

And Moon-Pluto is strong, and it's stronger for the Moon (I was the Moon).

But it could be that it hits you more because of your Vertex involved.

As for Saturn in the composite - although it opposes Venus, but given that it's conjunct the North Node this might be a lasting thing. Even if it's wrong place wrong time but somehow you will stay in each other's life.

Venus-Chiron conjunct South Node is definitely about some past love hurts. Did you get any past life recalls with him?

Can you try adding asteroids Amor, Valentine, Karma, Union, Destinn and maybe your names?

posted August 21, 2021 05:01 AM            

An attempt to communicate, even with someone you don’t trust, isn’t a death sentence. They’re just words.

Do you want to see him–Would you put money down today to visit him abroad? You need to understand what you actually want, and if you have that alone to offer. Otherwise, you’re crushing under the pressure of a what-if fantasy without resource.

Until you’re back in the same city, you will need to square up, letting only the past go.

Tell him you have a crush on him and leave it at that. It’s a simple truth, no?

If he’s currently rebounding, you could play a part in that personal-period if you want the chance to flirt. Your own possessiveness doesn’t automatically qualify you as the better option for a broken man. We all have to prove ourselves, to a potential partner, as trustworthy. It goes both ways.

But here’s my own opinion: the man has a debilitated Virgo Venus and potentially also Scorpio Moon in Sidereal astrology. As a Scorpio Rising, this would mean his dharma (virtues) and relationships are busted. The women in his life are mostly weak, insecure, hypercritical, and manipulative, and he doesn’t treat them well (doesn’t know how to; puts them to work for him—he is spiritually bankrupt.). By proxy, what would this imply about you if you were to get together? You plan on fixing him? I would size-up a man based solely on his past (the consequence of that today), and after an educated astrological and social judgement, would steer clear for the sanctity of my own feminine abundance. The evolutionary stage of our planets influence others, for better or worse.

This makes me think you’re better off picking up pronto some casual yet charming self-help [partnership] books, dear Sasha. Since you’re single and newly ready to mingle, “Getting to I Do” is a practical, blunt one for dating. It slaps! One instructional out of hundreds available and supportive. Get yourself a smoothie and go to Powell’s.

Again, my opinion, the synastry and composite is not worth this madness—not compatible for partnership, lacks Harmony. Maybe influential as distant colleagues (Sun/Mercury opp Uranus/Neptune in Comp) used for inspiration that hinges on escapism. You’re actually selling yourself emotionally-short with this guy—wake up sister. Insisting on opportunity points to a current Self-worth issue. Work on that (We all been there—it’s a low.) You know more harmonious synastry and composites are available to you in this life?

F*ck this guy. He’s not good enough for you - don’t get it twisted.

Other option, over actually getting to know him, is to unfollow him on social media and delete his contact from your phone. Get your life/vision back. Clearly you’re sick of the facade—act.

http://youtu.be/0rF_4RMia-Q

Don’t make me come back here girl with tougher love. 🥊

that link that Galactic shared, make no mistake, is sheerly an example of him recommending a form of therapy to get over an issue. Any resolution is elementary—don’t drag “pain” out like we all did once before; don’t use “spirituality/past-lives/blabla” to flagellate. You can work on your standards, backbone and boundaries instead with insightful self-help books as guide (because you have will, dignified interpersonal framework has been written down to adopt, at your own pace) or find a counselor who’ll charge face-to-face time on a bi-weekly basis. I prefer the former, includes treats and bookstores, and sunlight by hobby-reading, not to mention the authors are usually clever—like a snap-out-of-it from a wiser friend, plus installing knowledge.

Nothing’s wrong with you. You just need to upgrade your mentality on healthy relationships, especially post-divorce! Leave the past behind. Look forward.

This attachment is negative, infested/chaos/demonic, not based in Light whatsoever. The eggs on my stove exploded, then my coffee mug fell and shattered—meanwhile I’ve only been writing to you about this connection. Make of that what you will. Best of luck. 🧿

Address the māyā head-on (face him) or cut this person out of your life and don’t look back. That crap ^ is not a joke - the fact that the entity torturing you through this Virgo-man-narrative wanted to now f*ck with me for redirecting [with basic empowerment advice] to truth-seeking and self-love-intelligence? Damn dude. Seriously? Please detach from this dynamic; detach from whatever otherworldly-concepts it’s been using against you to entice/trap your ego to mine lifeenergy from. That’s not your gut (intuition) talking, that’s fear, same epicenter. Love doesn’t cause pain or confusion, pretty low vibe. I’ve said enough.
http://www.huffpost.com/entry/your-gut-feeling-fear-or-_b_6667194

posted August 21, 2021 03:50 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by AlmaRegulus:

But he is a Scorp moon with Pluto conjunct so it's only natural that he will not be overtly expressive about his feelings.

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Haha, understatement of the decade!

Sashavittoria, the person I mentioned earlier, also has Scorpio Moon conjunct Pluto. My experience with observing this in this person was that the person was extremely, deeply fearful of being emotionally vulnerable with another, and yet at the same time hungered for intense, deep connection.

These very conflicting desires, can lead to weird, distorted, and destructive behaviors. It is extremely hard for them to truly and fully trust, and they will often put others through tests of loyalty. Much of this though is often not conscious though--often it is very unconscious.

Moon is already a more unconscious/hidden, non rational, feeling, and "right brain" oriented symbol. And then Pluto also deals with deep, deep buried unconscious fears and shadow complexes. These deep fears often come from either childhood or other life traumas. When you put the two together, it is potentially a very difficult pattern to transform/heal, because of how unconscious and deeply buried so much of this is.

Then add Scorpio to that whole mix! In such combos, it really can be a case of the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing, so to speak. There is almost like a split between the conscious, rational mind and unconscious, where the unconscious takes control without the conscious mind knowing at all.

Until such people heal these deep, buried wounds, probably best to leave them alone, because meanwhile they can put you through h*ll. BUT they often have powerful magnetism/charisma and tend to have hyper sexually charged energy which connects direct to their emotional energies. This can make them very, very attractive sexually and holistically to others.

posted August 22, 2021 02:18 AM            

Vansio, I completely hear you. I know they are just words. I need to look deeper into the strong resistance I feel about it, but perhaps it has to do with the cPluto in Scorpio in the 8th as in your thread you sagely bumped. But why can’t HE come onto ME lol

But wow, thank you so much for your insight and advice. I really value your insight into his natal, as well as our synastry and composite. I can’t say anything for sure but everything you said tracks with the little I know and can intuit. So funny, I had actually started watching some of Lisa Romano’s videos recently - I’ll take your link as a hint to keep watching, there must be more for me to learn from her. I also really like Briana MacWilliam’s work. And I still struggle with distinguishing between fear and intuition, so thank you for that and the Merc opp Neptune info as well.

You’re also on point with my current self worth issue. I’ve been working on it and will continue. I really appreciate and obviously respond to tough love but I will try not to make you come back! I completely agree that “Any resolution is elementary—don’t drag “pain” out like we all did once before; don’t use “spirituality/past-lives/blabla” to flagellate. You can work on your standards, backbone and boundaries instead”. I am working and will keep working on those things. I REALLY want to leave the past behind and this actually makes even better sense of a recent dream I had (featuring 136) that indicated it’s time to do so… Thank you.

I can NOT believe that about the eggs and coffee!!!!!!!!

Galactic, what you say totally tracks too. 136 said that he has trust issues but also that he “doesn’t do well alone,” and of course my heartstrings are pulled. If I hadn’t just had 5 years of my heartstrings being pulled and played (quite beautifully) by my former husband, I might fall for that… But not anymore! Well ok, I do still have the urge to heal and take care of him… But I am choosing not to. For the first time in my life, ever. I have to prioritize myself, including both ego and Soul… That is the only relationship I am truly in right now, or ever!

In my dreams 136 is always on the left, the unconscious side. I don’t know him well enough to know if he’s dealt with those wounds, but from what I can tell, he has not. Not completely. So bye, Felipe. lol

posted August 23, 2021 12:53 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by sashavittoria:
Well ok, I do still have the urge to heal and take care of him… But I am choosing not to. For the first time in my life, ever. I have to prioritize myself, including both ego and Soul… That is the only relationship I am truly in right now, or ever!

In my dreams 136 is always on the left, the unconscious side. I don’t know him well enough to know if he’s dealt with those wounds, but from what I can tell, he has not. Not completely. So bye, Felipe. lol

---

The bolded part sounds very healthy and balanced (and probably why he came into your life, to prod you onto this self healing path).

The thing is, we cannot truly and fully heal another. We can sometimes act as catalysts, nudges, facilitators, inspiration, or the like, but the individual Soul has to really want and work for healing for them to be healed.

Interesting about the dream guidance and him being on the left. Left can equate to Yin and/or unconscious. For example, the left hand and left side of the body in a human body is wired primarily to the right brain hemisphere which is the definitely more Yin and Feminine part of the brain.

So it does sound like your dream guidance is saying that he is rather unconscious.

Btw, it's ok to have feelings for him. To some extent, if there is a deeper Soul and energetic connection, you won't ever able to totally and fully get rid of that, and repression/suppression of feelings/emotions often does more harm than good.

But positive, conscious redirection is another thing, and sometimes necessary, like so you can work on the above bolded part. It's possible that you both just came into each other's lives to act as catalysts and awakeners by poking/prodding each others shadows.

Thank him for that role, but meanwhile focus on what you need to focus on i.e. self love, self balance, and spiritual attunement.

posted August 23, 2021 06:01 AM            

A lot of these asteroids matter for connection to Asc with a tight orb.

I am far from asteroid expert, but what seemed significant to me (speaking of conjunctions only with a tight orb):

his Amor conjunct your Sun, although the orb is a bit wide for an asteroid (your personality ignites his love?)

his Ceres - your Destinn (kids together??? or karmic nurturing)

his North Node - your Union (karmic connection?)

his Vesta - your North Node (karmic devotion?)

posted August 23, 2021 06:07 AM            

Eros, Psyche
Isis, Osiris
Kaali, Siwa, Parwati
Persephone, Proserpina (asteroid, not the hypothetical planet - although now I am not sure actually which one )

posted August 23, 2021 12:34 PM            

(I've only checked conjunctions and obvious oppositions)

So, in a synastry you have 1 soulmate pair:
his Siwa (on your Cupid) is opposite your Parvati

And in a composite you have a soulmate pair:
Isis-Osiris

In Davidson I didn't find any (might have missed)

posted August 23, 2021 12:53 PM            

I found unless you know a person very well or they also have a great interest in astrology and it comes up during an astrological discussion, people are a little bit weirded out if you ask something so specific and personal like a time of birth straight out.

posted August 23, 2021 01:08 PM            

What is even more interesting are the connections between Draco chart of one and tropical of another. Only tight conjunctions and oppositions. But that you need to compare manually, astro.com doesn't do it.