posted December 27, 2010 11:29 AM            

Pluto has the power in this relationship since this is a karmic aspect/relationship and the Pluto person was wronged by the Venus person in the past.

posted December 27, 2010 01:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by jwhop:
For issues of "unrequited love", look for Venus square or oppose Pluto in a synastry chart.

Pluto has the power in this relationship since this is a karmic aspect/relationship and the Pluto person was wronged by the Venus person in the past.

So says Linda Goodman in "Relationship Signs".

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posted December 27, 2010 02:23 PM            

I've often noticed unrequited love when one person's planets fall only into the other person's platonic houses (2nd, 3rd, 6th, 10th, 11th, etc.) while the other person activates their partner's 1st, 4th, 5th, 7th, or 8th house. That's not a fast and steady rule though because sometimes a house is 'made' romantic due to Venus or the 7th/5th house ruler being there, etc... so it depends on the natal.

For me, Pluto/Venus hard aspects have not been unrequited love, but very obsessive and intense love for both people.

Also, when one person's planets hit the other person's angles but not the other way around, the person whose angles are being touched may feel a stronger pull to the other person.

Also consider: how the 5th and 7th house rulers are being aspected by each person's partner.

posted December 27, 2010 11:02 PM            

I agree and was thinking along the same lines as jwhop (actually- you have 3 Leo's responding here.. makes sense.. Leo's are about Love )

posted December 28, 2010 12:53 AM            

Since the topic is "Unrequited love" I stuck with the obvious marker aspect.

However, things are not always what they may seem and it may not be a case of unrequited love at all.

posted December 28, 2010 01:17 AM            

Again, I agree with you. I think there are specific aspects that we need to look at. For example, I believe that Saturn plays a big part in unrequited love. Personally, I have never really dealt with that issue- maybe an unrequited crush, but not love. There have been times, when I was young, that I had a crush on someone but they did not feel the same- then again, I have also been the recipient of that crush. I have also had others with Venus conjuncting my Pluto that I found to be repulsive but Bear and I have that aspect and I find it quite refreshing. One guy had his Sun in Virgo which squared my sun and venus- it didn't work out but it left him feeling horrible.

posted December 28, 2010 01:31 AM            

But who cares about falling in love when it isn't real. What you want is to be loved for who you are, beyond that veil.

posted December 28, 2010 01:40 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lioness:
Can Neptune do the same thing, if Neptune hits one person and maybe not the other, then Neptune see's that person as perfect... lol

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I have that right now. I'm Neptune, he's Venus. So my Neptune is conj his Venus.
He's very eager for us to begin a relationship, as for me I'm ambivalent, so his feelings are much stronger. ...
I feel like I've presented myself honestly to him, warts and all, but for some reason I get the feeling he's not seeing *me.*
Haven't asked yet for time or birth..and I know that I don't fulfill his Venus in Sagittarius looking at my chart, however I do fulfill his Libra Moon as I have a stellium there.
We also have a lot of mirrored aspects, for instance I have Mars/Saturn/Pluto conj, he has Mars conj Saturn in Scorpio, I have Venus/Pluto square, he has Venus/Pluto trine (I hate the Venus/Pluto trines), his Moon is in Libra, my Moon is conj Venus, his Mercury is conj Venus, my Mercury is conj the Dsc, it goes on for longer cept now I'm bored of listing em

posted December 28, 2010 01:44 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BearsArcher:
so Lonake, you do not believe in falling in love? You don't believe that two people bond and love each other but it is a matter of projection? I have read many of your posts and while you seem so matter of fact, you also seem to be so jaded.

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posted December 28, 2010 01:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lonake:
Re-read my post.
The initial phase of falling in love is projection.

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I read and digested your post the first time. Please do not take me as a newbie, which I think you and many have (because I changed my username). I do not believe that falling in love is projection. Being attracted and infatuated IS projection, possibly but falling in love is the act in which we are satifying certain needs, BEING in love mean those needs are met and we are in sync with the other.

Now.. back to your response to me... really? I am LMAO right now because of your responses in SPITR- I value some of what you say but I have also seen that you treat "newbies" so differently than those that have been here for a LOOOOOONG while.

posted December 28, 2010 02:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by BearsArcher:
I read and digested your post the first time. Please do not take me as a newbie, which I think you and many have (because I changed my username). I do not believe that falling in love is projection. Being attracted and infatuated IS projection, possibly but falling in love is the act in which we are satifying certain needs, BEING in love mean those needs are met and we are in sync with the other.

Now.. back to your response to me... really? I am LMAO right now because of your responses in SPITR- I value some of what you say but I have also seen that you treat "newbies" so differently than those that have been here for a LOOOOOONG while.

Been here for 8 years +... guess I know something about Astro right?

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posted December 28, 2010 04:31 AM            

From what I’ve noticed from lurking around at Lindaland, and just from life in general, it is quite common for aspects that are typically considered ‘romantic’ not to be felt mutually, and sometimes not even by one of the people involved. Perhaps there is an astrological reason for this that has not been discovered yet, or perhaps it has something to do with how house rulers aspect each other between charts, and what houses they fall in. There is no way to know for sure. What I do suspect is that in our life times we are fated to, or have the karma to, have certain kinds of relationships with the different people we cross paths with, and that the synastry we have with each person plays out according to connection we karmicly have to them. Like if you have a Venus/Pluto conjunction with your kung fu teacher, and you were only ever destined to be teacher and student, this conjunction may only be about him teaching you how to kill gracefully. But if you have a Venus/Pluto conjunction with someone, and you were fated to be romantically involved it may be about the strength of your attraction to each other. In the case of an unrequited attraction, one person may be fated to feel it as a strong physical attraction while the other is fated to be indifferent, or even repulsed by the other. There is no aspect that guarantees that you will be loved or not by someone else.

However once the relationship ‘type’ between two individuals is in place I’ve seen that the relationship usually plays out according to themes and issues shown in synastry. For example if you had Venus/Mars with your grandma she may hug and kiss you a lot, and give you lots of advice about relationships and romance, but certainly you are not attracted to your grandma. This is not to say that intense attraction is not common in the right situations with Venus/Mars aspects. It’s just that there is some unknown factor at work, where sometimes an aspect will function in distinctly romantic/sexual way between two people, sometimes with only one of the people, and sometimes with neither. However the energies of these two planets will still be present in the relationship but they may just function in a more platonic way. Like with positive Venus/Mars there may simply be a mutual appreciation of some type of art, or an ability to work in physical harmony. I once had a yoga instructor who had Mars opposite my Venus and I did really respect him and see him as a strong and confident person, but I didn’t have the hots for him, even though he was quite handsome.

Not that I’ve got my ramble about karma and fate etc of my chest I do what to take a look at some real and valid astrological reasons for why sometimes attractions can be lop-sided. The first reason is really basic and obvious. Hard aspects between a ‘male’ planet and a ‘female’ planet. Now the tricky part with this one is that sometime hard aspects simply point to an attraction being really intense and dramatic. There are other instances though where, usually the person with the ‘female’ planet, feels turned off by the person with the ‘male’ planet, who insists on pursuing them despite their objections.
The second, and I think most important, reason for unrequited love has to do with house overlays, and the relationships between house rulers in synastry.
House related synastry has a very powerful effect on how relationships play out. And is a very common reason why you can be attracted to someone with whom you have weak synastry, or not be attracted to someone with whom you have strong synastry. The houses most connected with attraction between the sexes are the 5th, 7th & 8th.

The Dsc relates to…
Affection/liking/completion/marriage/the most significant other in life/

The 5th relates to…
Romance/adoration/courtship/the glamour of falling in love/

The 8th relates to…
Intimacy/sex/power balance/emotional and psychological merging/

If someone else’s natal chart matches the symbolism of these houses in your chart then an attraction may occur even if the synastry is weak. If the symbolism of someone’s chart doesn't match the symbolism of these houses there is unlikely to be an attraction even if the synastry is strong. When I speak of symbolism matching I’m referring to house related synastry in three main ways. 1: Important planets in someone else’s chart fall into your the 5th, 7th or 8th houses. 2: The rulers of your 5th , 7th, or 8th houses strongly aspect important parts of the other persons chart (if it’s vise versa THEY are more likely to be attracted to you). 3: the signs prominent in connection with your 5th,7th or 8th houses show up strongly in the other persons chart. E.g. you have a Capricorn Dsc ruled by Saturn in Gemini, with Scorpio on the 5th house cusp, and Jupiter in Aquarius in the 8th… and then you wind up with Scorpio Sun with Venus in Capricorn, Moon in Gemini and Sagittarius rising… the signs and planets from the other persons chart match what is shown on your 5th, 7th and 8th houses.

For each of these houses (the 5th, 7th & 8th) check the sign on the cusp and its ruler by sign, house, and aspect, as well as what planets are within that house. People whose natal charts reflect the symbolism pertaining to these houses are the ones who resonate most with your notions of the ideal mate. This is especially true with the 7th house. Being an angular house, and the house specifically concerned with significant ‘one on one’ relationships, any connection with this house opens the door to the possibility of a long-term co-existence. The 5th and the 8th houses add to the core influence of the 7th in terms of preferences regarding what excites you about others initially, and what you need to feel close. If someone were to activate your 5th or your 8th without also connecting to the 7th in some way, they may be viewed as temporary ‘fun’ (the 5th), or as someone to help usher you through some intense experiences in life (the 8th), but the bond is unlikely to be lasting. When other peoples’ planets activate these houses either by falling in the house itself, or aspecting its ruler, they stimulate feelings in you related to the theme of that house. In terms of aspects to the house ruler, the conjunction is the most potent because there is both energy (aspect) and a symbolism (sign) fusion between the planet and the house ruler. The more important the conjuncting planet is in the partners chart the more significant the connection is.

Where the topic of unrequited love shows up in all of this is that if the are strong connections between someone else’s 5th, 7th and 8th houses and your natal chart they are very likely to be attracted to you. If your 5th, 7th and 8th houses do not also connect with their charts you may not reciprocate their feelings. And vise versa of course. Sometimes both charts connect in this way but one persons chart connects way more powerfully then the other one. In these cases the attraction might be mutual, but one person might be far more infatuated than the other one. If the charts of both people have a strong symbolism matches to each other involving the 5th, 7th and 8th houses then wonderful. This is when two people are much more likely to have a rich and fulfilling romantic relationship that goes both ways.

That being said, if the planet synastry is weak (and by weak, I mean no typical ‘romance’ aspects Sun/Moon, Venus/Mars, Moon/Mars, Venus/Uranus, Sun/Venus, and Venus/Pluto) and you do have an attraction only because of house related synastry, that attraction might always be mild as there is no planet on planet action to really get the juices flowing. Planet on planet synastry can move things from a mere appreciation to a deeper level of involvement. If you only have house overlays and house sign matches to go by there may not be enough ‘energy flow’ between you to get the relationship off the ground. On the other side of the fence, I do believe it is also possible for a really strong and potent (very tight orb) 'romance aspect' to create an attraction even if the house connections for romantic feelings (the 5th, 7th & 8th houses) are weak. In these cases, however, the reaction is likely to be that although you can see the person in question as having a certain appeal on a physical level, you may feel they are not you're type in terms of personality. Like you can see and appreciate their beauty but feel they are not right for you.

Basically, my point is that the most intense attractions are created by a combination of the right planet on planet aspects, with strong and mutual house symbolism connections for the 5th, 7th and 8th houses between peoples charts. An attraction based on house symbolism alone is mild and weak. But planet on planet ‘romance aspects’ aren’t enough to make someone feel as if they are your type without the relevant house connections. It’s a balancing act between these two factors. Good planet syanstry (typical romance aspects) is positive in any relationship but it may not have a sexual flavor unless two people’s house symbolisms connect in certain ways. If your partners 5th, 7th & 8th relate to your chart symbolically this will show how attracted to you they are likely to be.

Some other factors that I have noticed causing attraction, regardless of planet synastry, are hard aspects to the Vertex, especially the conjunction and opposition, and the partner's planets in the house symbolized by the Dsc sign. e.g. if you have an Aqua Dsc look at you 11th house to see if your partner has important planets in your 11th house, or if you have a Taurus Dsc look to see if your partners planets fall in you 2nd house etc. With regard to the nodes, connections to the south node represent the sheared past between you, and connections with the north node show how others help you grow forward.

Most recently I’ve been exploring the east point-west point axis, or the Equatorial Ascendant. I’ve been studying other astrologers work, and this axis seems to be connected to our idealized notions of how things should be and our personal biases. Where as the vertex is connected with a feeling of fatedness and synchronicity in relationships, the EP (east point) has to do with people who resonate with our personal preferences in some way. On a personal note I have was surprised to discover the quite a few of my most significant attractions had planets conjunct of oppose this axis. Going back to the subject of unrequited love, perhaps one person’s chart strongly aspects another persons Vertex and EP, While the other persons Vertex and EP remains untouched. An unrequited lover may think that It’s fate (the Vertex) that has brought a certain person into their life and feel that that person has many characteristics that resonate strongly with their personal preferences (the EP). Meanwhile, the other person in question feels none of these things with their unaspected Vertex and EP.

posted December 28, 2010 04:38 AM            

Jwop
May I ask you a question,please.My Venus, Sun ,Moon and Merc are in his 12th house.

Are you saying HE feels it as much as I do?

Thank you so much !

posted December 28, 2010 04:38 AM            

Wow. We've got a writer What do you have in Virgo, Gemini, Aquarius??

One of the aspects that's made me fall in love is Mercury conj Venus, another is Moon conj Venus. They aren't masculine/feminine forces attracted to each other. They're just my thing.

posted December 28, 2010 06:22 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lotis White:

this conjunction may only be about him teaching you how to kill gracefully.

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posted December 28, 2010 01:57 PM            

“One funny thing, is how many men who are attracted to me who fill up my 7th house, and they do nothing for me. Like one right now who puts his Sun/Mercury/Venus/Mars/Jupiter/Saturn in there, and altho I like him as a friend, it's just not the same..Darn it though about his houses, he's still looking for his birth certificate..I'm gonna remind him when I see him tomorrow.”

Lonake: That’s the funny thing about house overlays. It’s like 8 times out of ten it’s the house person who’s attracted, but then there’s always those other 2 cases where the situation is ‘flipped’ and it’s the planet person that falls in love. Just goes to show that although astrology works it’s not always predictable HOW it’s going to work. On a side note, I’d love to know what your planets are doing in his houses also.