posted February 16, 2005 06:51 PM            

I never said w hore was profane.... however, you pushing a point through my nose.. IS.

posted February 17, 2005 10:02 AM              

Who votes we should let this thread die and let bygones be bygones

Says the sweet little Piscean

posted February 17, 2005 01:26 PM            

Read back over your own posts. Every time you speak of finding a nice girl, you negate the beauty of the thought by saying things like "she would be too stupid to recognize what a prize I am," or some such thing as that.

You continue to define your worth through the money you do or don't have. That's fine; that is how some people see life. But if you believe that your only worth, to the type of woman you think you desire, is by having money, then it is up to you and only you to provide yourself with such.

What have you done lately to give love?

To have a friend, you must be a friend. To be loved, you must love. That being said, love is a gift for which nothing should be expected in return, or it is no longer a gift.

posted February 17, 2005 01:45 PM              

*edited

posted February 18, 2005 09:39 AM            

Know that you are at heart a being of light and love, and that all you are, is right to be.

Don't rate your worth.
Value yourself.
Love yourself.

You must love yourself, in order to be loved. You must love, to be loved.

Don't rate others. Value them. For they too are exactly whom they should be.

How you perceive others is a picture you paint. Use colors you love, and you will find it easier to love others.

You mustn't blame or reward others for who you are and what you feel.

I've said it before and I'll say it again:
Change your perspective, and you change the world.

posted February 20, 2005 09:48 PM              

Hi Pixie

Well since I last wrote I've thought about some things differently and now my take on the subject of guys and their umm..sexuality affecting relationships has changed a bit. In my opinion... First off, there is no such thing as the typical guy because they are all very different and unique. I have met many guys who Do meet me with their sexual energy first and many who meet me with a more friendly, "wholesome", subtleness. I have always been drawn to the latter because I care very much for having a emotional, mental AND physical chemistry with a person. I find when I meet more sexually aggressive men (All this pertaining to the single me ) its harder to get to know them and for like myself. Granted whenever a girl needs an ego booster, you can always count on them to come to the rescue!!! haha But anyways yea frustrates me when I'm first talking to someone who's obviously quite interested sexually or being stripped by one's eyes to feel they are genuine or care to know me. I can't help but get the impression that this guy is a player or is just consumed with sex and nothing else. To me that kind of suffocating sexuality is too much, it leaves no room for the sweeter, more subtle gestures of love or friendship. Well friendship is usually out of the question for them. Tell me you know which guys I'm refering to. Of course ya do, your also very alluring to the opposite sex. Anyways thats just not what I'm looking for in my life..so my choices are to let them bother me (because I feel uncomfortable) or excuse their behavior (as irrelevant to me and my life). I think I was taking it personally before, when it isn't personal at all. They will be what they are for whatever reason..my guess is they had no strong women role models and are therefore more susceptible to gender roles in media..and umm the internet "media" haha.

Also I think our perceptions are different because of our individual relationships. Like this problem of mine was really exaggerated with my current relationship. My exes had all treated me very differently (all being fire signs..this one is a virgo), they were all much more demonstrative and basically crazy about me giving me the upper hand. Though what I really want is equality. In this relationship my guy was very affectionate in the beginning to win my heart, but it seems once he had it..he thought he could take our relationship for granted. He is the type that just wants to be comfortable with the stability and convenience of Love without needing the perks of romance and heart to heart communion. My romance starved Leonine heart was very hurt by this. Then I saw him staring at girls when I moved here( I moved to CA to be with him in Jan 04, we had had a 6 mnth long distance thing) on top of feeling a bit neglected and unappreciated, so his looking made me feel undesirable. I connected those two things, he's looking at other girls and neglecting me..that means I'm not good enough for him. Because of his sexuality, I will never completely have his whole heart. How can he have room for other girls too?? Then whenever I tried to leave, he would cry and ask, how could you not see my love??! I asked you to marry me! I call you 5 times a day! I dropped all my friends for you! and then I end up feeling guilty for thinking that and things got better for a while, but then I'd start feeling neglected again. Even after he has stopped looking so intensely at girls, I don't feel completely secure. So I've come to the conclusion that the amount of security you feel with someone greatly effects how jealous you are. That sounds like common sense but obviously not..sense many girls wonder why they are jealous and their friends aren't...including myself. Talking to you and Trillian, I was beginning to feel like I had this problem with jealousy, but I don't think we're that different after all. You said you had been jealous, but not in this relationship. Also I can't help but paint the picture of you having a bit more of the upper hand in the relationship. Correct me if I'm wrong. Because you said your off doing your thing and he wants you home more. And other similar things you've said. So naturally your take on guy's fascination with women will differ from mine. In your mind, other women just aren't a threat to your Love life. They really weren't in mine either, but they way my fiance was treating me vs them did threaten me and our relationship. So I may have overexaggerated the male sexuality problem by selectively focusing on male s lut s, and everything relating to it. Its all there to see, but I was ignoring the other half of the world.

Now that my fiance and I are becoming much more loving to each other after so many bumps and bruises, I finally see the beauty of men all around me. I see the kind, caring, friendly ones. And I see my fiance is more than just his umm..genitalia haha. Honestly I forgot that for a while. He was this sexual, cave man who thought of nothing but boobs and butts all day. We seriously almost fell apart (believe it or not) because I forgot that I even loved him. I was sooo sick of men, sex, other women...suddenly the world was a sexual conspiracy plotting to ruin my life and make me insecure. Extreme I know, but thats where this whole thing took me. Not a fun place. But while I was there, I discovered things that are undeniable...things like gender roles, media roles, women's overall insecurity due to the constant scrutiny of ads, and men's "Visual natures", male sexuality dominance, etc.. I could go on forever. These things are there all around you if your eyes are open to it..and mine were WIDE open for a while.

I am finally in a better place in my relationship, so my glasses are not so tinted with all of those message bombardments. I finally see the sunshine again. And yes Trillian, it was because my perception changed. But does changing ones perception to an accepting, all encompassing view, make the world anymore fair than seeing it through critical, emotionally negetive lenses. Your bias either way, your only selective on what truths to pick out, no?

Well the moral of the story, men can be beautiful creatures who compliment our lives and bring us undescribable bliss with a strong sexuality that sends chills down your spine. Other times they can create insucurities in us by lusting after other women because they biologically can't help it, neglect our beauty, and miss the whole concept of two hearts beating as one, and fantasize about what they don't have with an insatiable appetite for more women and more sex. Both of these shades of men exist and then some shades in the middle. No man is the same. No woman is the same. And our perceptions have everything to do with it.

I hope that made some sort of sense to ya. Thanks for really thinking about what I said and I'm really sorry it took me so long to respond. Look forward to hearing what you think.

posted February 20, 2005 09:49 PM              

Hi Pixie

Well since I last wrote I've thought about some things differently and now my take on the subject of guys and their umm..sexuality affecting relationships has changed a bit. In my opinion... First off, there is no such thing as the typical guy because they are all very different and unique. I have met many guys who Do meet me with their sexual energy first and many who meet me with a more friendly, "wholesome", subtleness. I have always been drawn to the latter because I care very much for having a emotional, mental AND physical chemistry with a person. I find when I meet more sexually aggressive men (All this pertaining to the single me ) its harder to get to know them and for like myself. Granted whenever a girl needs an ego booster, you can always count on them to come to the rescue!!! haha But anyways yea frustrates me when I'm first talking to someone who's obviously quite interested sexually or being stripped by one's eyes to feel they are genuine or care to know me. I can't help but get the impression that this guy is a player or is just consumed with sex and nothing else. To me that kind of suffocating sexuality is too much, it leaves no room for the sweeter, more subtle gestures of love or friendship. Well friendship is usually out of the question for them. Tell me you know which guys I'm refering to. Of course ya do, your also very alluring to the opposite sex. Anyways thats just not what I'm looking for in my life..so my choices are to let them bother me (because I feel uncomfortable) or excuse their behavior (as irrelevant to me and my life). I think I was taking it personally before, when it isn't personal at all. They will be what they are for whatever reason..my guess is they had no strong women role models and are therefore more susceptible to gender roles in media..and umm the internet "media" haha.

Also I think our perceptions are different because of our individual relationships. Like this problem of mine was really exaggerated with my current relationship. My exes had all treated me very differently (all being fire signs..this one is a virgo), they were all much more demonstrative and basically crazy about me giving me the upper hand. Though what I really want is equality. In this relationship my guy was very affectionate in the beginning to win my heart, but it seems once he had it..he thought he could take our relationship for granted. He is the type that just wants to be comfortable with the stability and convenience of Love without needing the perks of romance and heart to heart communion. My romance starved Leonine heart was very hurt by this. Then I saw him staring at girls when I moved here( I moved to CA to be with him in Jan 04, we had had a 6 mnth long distance thing) on top of feeling a bit neglected and unappreciated, so his looking made me feel undesirable. I connected those two things, he's looking at other girls and neglecting me..that means I'm not good enough for him. Because of his sexuality, I will never completely have his whole heart. How can he have room for other girls too?? Then whenever I tried to leave, he would cry and ask, how could you not see my love??! I asked you to marry me! I call you 5 times a day! I dropped all my friends for you! and then I end up feeling guilty for thinking that and things got better for a while, but then I'd start feeling neglected again. Even after he has stopped looking so intensely at girls, I don't feel completely secure. So I've come to the conclusion that the amount of security you feel with someone greatly effects how jealous you are. That sounds like common sense but obviously not..sense many girls wonder why they are jealous and their friends aren't...including myself. Talking to you and Trillian, I was beginning to feel like I had this problem with jealousy, but I don't think we're that different after all. You said you had been jealous, but not in this relationship. Also I can't help but paint the picture of you having a bit more of the upper hand in the relationship. Correct me if I'm wrong. Because you said your off doing your thing and he wants you home more. And other similar things you've said. So naturally your take on guy's fascination with women will differ from mine. In your mind, other women just aren't a threat to your Love life. They really weren't in mine either, but they way my fiance was treating me vs them did threaten me and our relationship. So I may have overexaggerated the male sexuality problem by selectively focusing on male s lut s, and everything relating to it. Its all there to see, but I was ignoring the other half of the world.

Now that my fiance and I are becoming much more loving to each other after so many bumps and bruises, I finally see the beauty of men all around me. I see the kind, caring, friendly ones. And I see my fiance is more than just his umm..genitalia haha. Honestly I forgot that for a while. He was this sexual, cave man who thought of nothing but boobs and butts all day. We seriously almost fell apart (believe it or not) because I forgot that I even loved him. I was sooo sick of men, sex, other women...suddenly the world was a sexual conspiracy plotting to ruin my life and make me insecure. Extreme I know, but thats where this whole thing took me. Not a fun place. But while I was there, I discovered things that are undeniable...things like gender roles, media roles, women's overall insecurity due to the constant scrutiny of ads, and men's "Visual natures", male sexuality dominance, etc.. I could go on forever. These things are there all around you if your eyes are open to it..and mine were WIDE open for a while.

I am finally in a better place in my relationship, so my glasses are not so tinted with all of those message bombardments. I finally see the sunshine again. And yes Trillian, it was because my perception changed. But does changing ones perception to an accepting, all encompassing view, make the world anymore fair than seeing it through critical, emotionally negetive lenses. Your bias either way, your only selective on what truths to pick out, no?

Well the moral of the story, men can be beautiful creatures who compliment our lives and bring us undescribable bliss with a strong sexuality that sends chills down your spine. Other times they can create insucurities in us by lusting after other women because they biologically can't help it, neglect our beauty, and miss the whole concept of two hearts beating as one, and fantasize about what they don't have with an insatiable appetite for more women and more sex. Both of these shades of men exist and then some shades in the middle. No man is the same. No woman is the same. And our perceptions have everything to do with it.

I hope that made some sort of sense to ya. Thanks for really thinking about what I said and I'm really sorry it took me so long to respond. Look forward to hearing what you think.