posted May 20, 2019 03:34 PM            

I understand!, Okay. There's a need to be patient. Yikes! (thanks)

Dealing with these circumstances by reaching into coping device of belief-system practices for support. Gospel Choirs (for me) help bring inspiration at this time. As well as smiles in the neighborhood from folks, and Taking It To The Lord In Prayer!!

Wow!! Things just feel sooooo lumber some and like a physical-weight of 'heavy'.. (just in case you're picking-up on that! ugh. sorry).

Rm was having trouble with medical-communications between his pharmacy computer and doctor office to renew his strips for blood-sugar reader!
.. When I found that out this weekend, I was torqued. He had given up on it! He hasn't been taking his daily blood sugar readings in OVER a week??? That's kind of dangerous and foolhardy.
.. hooyah. Felt powerful to take that by the horns, call them up, and GET that thing RESOLVED this morning.
Mess with my roommate??? grrrrr
You messed with the wrong person!

Watching the current news????

Tomorrow I go in to see my Gemmy-coworker who is supposed to be back to work this week after injuring her ankle last month. It's her birthday Wednesday. I have a Celebration card-ready for her-- with a package of colorful party horns!!!

THAT will be hilarious!..
Going to try to make tomorrow FUN for her!
Will go to the dollar-store now, and get a child's plastic princess tiara for her.

posted May 21, 2019 08:50 AM            

Gotta start getting ready to go to the office.
Bought that plastic tiara to give my Gemmy Boss today (Tuesday).

Something I've been noticing about culture today is how MUCH the things we watch on media are affecting our experience.
{McLuhan!!}

I've never seen Games of Thrones, as Rm likes watching ONLY his 'certain channels' and range of shows. For me, I'm not into flying lizards and strange creatures, either. I prefer people-shows! *smile*

Have heard that people watching this show are being viscerally and psychologically impacted!!--- so much so, that there are mental health counselors available to help these individuals 'cope' with what ending happened in that story? wow!!!

Last month, there had been a moment too at work, where we ALL had seen the same certain episode of Big Bang Theory, and I suddenly noted HOW we all shared our opinions as-though it had happened to us personally? As though the characters were part of our-own family or friend group in reality?-- Well. In the office, that DID happen?
How bizarre! *smile*

Wow!!
How strong these images are! These are supposed to be "entertaining" stories, we funnel all of it into feeding upon our powerful psyches, our minds-- Emotions are evoked, feeding energy to the images, the imaginations, which are rudders on the ship of our lives? Emotion generators?

The brain-body connection has a hard time separating what is imagined and what is actually happening TO the body.

The new 5G virtual reality will FURTHER interfere with 'what' we consider is 'real'.

Other things in the news---
Noticed how I viscerally reacted to the photos of Tornado breakout in the middle section of my country.

Showed Big black twin funnels, heading AT you?
BUT, this had ALREADY happened.
It was NOT happening in the "NOW"??

Maybe the visual had accessed my 'experience files', as I have happened to live in various sections of the country where these have caused destruction. Even HERE in this locale-- only, at a pattern occurring at a different time of the year.

Even though I was staying topical as far as what my conscious mind was doing, I was suddenly surprised to also have noted the amount of subconscious "panic" that was boiling underneath the surface as I viewed it.

Gotta BREAK that tendency to think that THIS is happening to "ME" in a personal-way, and IN the right now moment-- or, that this will shortly befall me "in the future"??

I don't think I'm the only one, either. *breathe*!!!!

So. Regarding Rm--
I've learned a little more about the backstory with what's going on with Rm. He's doing one of his stubborn defiant "stick-it-to-the-man" kind of mentalities and behavior patterns right now. NOT doing what he ought to, which I realize could lead to an actual 'event'.
.. And, this would impact MY 'real' life and safety completely.

Time for him to get turned back over to the care of his Cappy Daughter?? She had done 'an intervention' here when he had been misbehaving before when (I was trying to take care of him), when he had had that accident with resulting surgery. I could NOT get him to DO what he needed to do (toileting), PLUS what the medical people that visited here were instructing him to do. He ignored everything?, till his daughter came here to kick his butt.

Part of all that, is what has been dragging me down right now, including that fact (post above) that I am willing to advocate for HIM, but he will NOT advocate for me?
(oh my.. *red flag*, Mirage?)

I just sincerely Hope that there ARE folks who DO have my back, and that I will not have to despair about 'what will happen to me' when Rm needs to be given-back to his daughter. I would be 'alone' and vulnerable (in real way). This feels like a much bigger reality about to play-out??
*breathe!!!!*

I've GOT to stop worrying.

Honestly, I have NOT found my fit in this locale and community. And if I 'think' about that too much, I'll probably start that 'panic'?? oh nooooooo.

Been doing those mindfulness exercises.
Comes in handy.

Have a Fabulous Day, Everyone!!
Stay Gemmy-Happy.

Hope that Society will get some BETTER Collective Imaginations? sheesh! *heart* *smile*

posted May 22, 2019 08:17 PM            

My coworker didn't come in. She's still layed-up from her injury-- I'll save the party honkers and tiara for when she comes back.

So instead of putting in extra hours doing work for the paid-employees there, I felt really drained and decided it was 'okay' for me to take the rest of the day-hours for myself.

Did some errands, then I thought about that LL Guardian Angel thread, and how it's possible to 'ask a question' and get response?

The answer is always super subtle..
I decided to visit a coffee shop, symbolically, just to follow inklings. Went in. Looked over all the desserts, thinking about buying a single cookie or something simple like that.

When I received the little dessert-bag, I saw a time-stamp next to the pay amount. It said "40'4:44'"!!! Angel Number! Also had "111" printed at the top of the label.

I spent around a day to day-and-a-half seeing "4's" -- Was pleasantly and softly surreal.

I'm now in a few degree orb of my Venus Taurus H5 Return. I'll do something symbolic that honors my own substance-in-physicality in some way, for those few days.

Much Love!

posted May 24, 2019 10:44 PM            

Just listened to a yt woman vid who seems to be having a harder week with clients having surprising reactions to her observations and advice-given.

Want to remind that her (that for everyone) Mars in Cancer is squaring Chiron in Aries right now. Mars is also out-of-bounds so may be extra touchy? This may be part of what is behind some of what you have experienced?

God gave me an ability too see the human aura. I never think about it or utilize except for when I'm in a surrounding-environment that has exactly the right lighting and colors that make auras pop-out, or, when that sensitivity is extra-enhanced that day, or, for a few weeks when I see it all the time.

I normally just ignore it.
I didn't want people to think I was into their privacy. I don't do that.

Back in the olden days it was common for people to attend what used to be called "Growth Groups" for self-improvement and development-- and socializing. These were counselor-led group therapy evenings, or even, retreat marathon weekends. (These were not marketed as groups for folks with mental problems-- connotation of illness places a stigma). Back in those days, these Encounter Groups, or Growth Groups were more for your normal neurotics(?LOL!!), or folks who were very into other people, and diving deep together into each other's lives and concerns.
.. I suppose that AA and GA, and other addictions groups have similar focus, but those are on their shared-illness.

So, being a Deep Diver type, I very much enjoyed those kinds of groups. Later, I attended a 3-month shadow-work program. A few years after that, I joined a Transaction Analysis group which also was intense (book, I'm Okay, You're Okay, Eric Berne --

tMars in Cancer conjunct natal asteroid
23110 ericberne cancer 4+ in my H7 gem house.)
I understand sensitivity.

btw I have natal out-of-bounds Mars Cancer 2+ -- trines Juno Scorpio rx 4+ H11.
My Mars Cancer conjuncts Mercury Gem 27+ oob H7
Mars and Mercury trine Neptune Libra rx 25+ H10
Having my exact Venus Taurus 12+ Return tomorrow afternoon.

One of the reason I mentioned these placements, is to share with that vidder that I 'understand' others who are denying or resisting something true you see about them.

Because I see auras it gives me an advantage when I participate in groups (such as the 'Growth Group') because when the environment is right, I can 'see' how folks 'feel' .. especially while they're talking about something of concern to them. As they imagine what they are talking about, the color hues in the aura hues can softly change in some the layers or in certain sections. (Auras are like gentle halos, or the hint of an ethereal dispersed pastel-like rainbow-background each person has around their head, shoulders, and body.)

So. There was a professional woman in this marathon two-week woman's group that I had a chance to participate in. (Not a soul there knew that I could watch their auras the whole time.) This was a group of women who had experienced trauma in their lives.

btw, that "fits" Juno Scorpio in my 11th House.
Juno can represent women's issues, standing up for those without a voice.

The woman was very intelligent, strong, and from a professional background working with people. Every time she would begin to talk about this very-specific part of her life, her aura changed. It gained a certain color, which I had (in my experience) learned has to do some kind of denial or deception or unconscious self-deception going on with them.

Gently gently I began to 'question' what she was saying, taking that color as an indication that she herself was covering something up. (Strange? I have a way of being direct and penetrating with my insights, yet at same time (I HOPE!!! non-threatening.. Mars Cancer?) (Also, a Mercury sextile PlutoH8; and a gentle Jupiter Cancer H8 sextiling Moon.)

Turned out? that she started to verbally and energetically attack me. She wound up turning all the people in the group 'against' me, and I was treated like I was some kind of horrible person by most of them. I felt soooo uncomfortable at the level of aggression that was aimed at me. (The facilitator of the group though, stayed steady towards me. The facilitator 'knew' that I was truthfully perceiving this.)

The woman made my (PAID!!) experience sooo uncomfortable, the WHOLE time. People were angry at me, for the suggestions I was trying to 'ask' that woman about. I felt jumped-on, unfairly-- but endeavored to remain strong (yet more repressed).

So. The others all got the breakthroughs they came for-- except that woman. The morning of the last day, that 'color-scheme' in her aura was EXTRA strong. I ?think the facilitator said she had tried considering everything else, except what I had suggested. In the next several minutes, the woman came undone, and said that what I was saying was TRUE all-along. Her 'friends' tried to defend her original lies, but she shut them down and said that I had been correct-- and she spilled out what she had paid to come and do.

The 'energy' in the room changed. Her friends dropped their hostility towards me.. but it left me 'wounded'. She had fought and fought, her friends were so mean to me. But she 'obtained' the Healing breakthrough she had needed.

I'm good as a 'member' of a group for others who want that deep-dive under the surface of things-- who want to penetrate the Scorpio type realms.

I feel soo extremely Blessed and enraptured in groups who delve into the Mysteries-- the mysteries of our connectedness. Even deep-study groups on things having to do with God.

My sharing face to face almost always exclusively on the other person, and getting them to share. When I share, it's usually a story, 'teaching' the other person something they can relate to, whose information they can possibly use or need for their life...

Sometimes too-- the other person is only looking for some sensitivity, encouragement, and support-- as I'm sure some processing something else MUCH deeper in them during those times, and aren't ready to bring up anything else yet.

I never went into any kind of one-on-one counseling career because I come from a wounded past. Plus, I don't know if I could have the very tedious slow 'patience' of working with a person week after week after week? I have deep sensitivities, and hate beating around the bush for too long. I'll do that for a bit for a person's comfort-- but then, I want to get straight on with the nugget or core of the discussion. LOL
That's why I was an excellent (and desired!) 'ghost co-facilitator' in focus type groups. I prefer the backgrounds, and being a strong colorful assist! I could ALWAYS stir more-interesting conversations going, which blossomed and even brought a kind of intimate warmth. I like safer atmospheres, no bullying attacking-fights (which would be a weakness -- been emotionally raw-'brutalized' in my past, and having to hold that all in).

*crickets*.. Ironically?, paradoxically, when it comes to my own self, to my 'own' feelings .. with someone else, it's like I can't seem to put my words together, and truly identify what those are in me.
Some of the sharing I've done at LL, I've said "more" than I could perhaps relate to another human.
It's like I lose my words then.

In those Growth Groups? My focus was very much (and intensely) on the others, and pointing out dynamics, that helped open-out the group... What was never "seen" was that I barely shared about 'me'. It wasn't noticed.

The negative-attacking shaming old Encounter style groups are just too harming and brutalizing (for my inner self).

So! .. To my "facilitating" friend, YES, I know what it's like to speak Truth and not feel accepted. You are blessed and fortunate to have a following of friends who chat with you and salve your woundings.

Maybe, .. some day I'll have people in my life who can reciprocate-- regarding and doing that for me, also.

And, I'm not that thin-skinned when it comes to work. In the past, I've thrived in vigorous atmospheres. Dealt with all types.
(It's when people start to viciously dagger 'personally' attack, rather than discuss problems, that make me retreat.)

Have a great evening, or new day.

posted May 29, 2019 03:33 PM            

Being Present.

Like viewing the vista from the top of a mountain.

Was doing some other kind of research when I came across this gorgeous peaceful, quiet and gentle Christmas song.

Marking another year of life.
(music) His Light In Us (Kim André Arnesen, St. Olaf Choir) [5:52] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdSQzO811Hw
Wishing All A Greater Peace …

Stay Safe...

posted May 31, 2019 09:53 AM            

You were the first LL'er (besides Randall) to respond to this thread.
Yes, I have your email! Thank you for last message sent-- definitely appreciated it very much.

By the way, I've enjoyed your spunk over in GU2!! They will MISS your presence!!

posted May 31, 2019 10:23 AM            

Cake? .. nope. Not yet. Bought myself one of those half-cakes you can throw together and cook in the microwave. Got candles that spell out H-a-p-p-y B-i-r-t-h-d-a-y.

Rm is not a celebrator of ANY kind of holidays or celebrations.

I privately celebrate them. Decorations, or fancy meals and settings appear because *I* would do it.

Throwing my own Party!!

(music) Celebration-- Song Around The World (PFC123, Playing For Change, global children 2015) [3:52] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Lu41LulQos

The guy leading the group-dance in this vid is EXCELLENT!!! Wow!! *laughing*

posted May 31, 2019 05:24 PM            

Some days I'll write the more pithy inspirational-word posts. Other days I'll provide musical-selections.

t Sun in Gemini
(Sidereal Sun Taurus)

(music) The "Air" by Johann Sebastian Bach from the 3rd orchestral suite (D minor; BWV 1068), 2nd movement
[5:38] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrVDATvUitA

*~

Oh! The Sun in Gemini right now is conjunct my 2735 Ellen Gemini 10.53 H6.

Reminds me to give out kudos to entertainer Ellen DeGeneres. Thanks for stepping out to be a voice, Ellen!

(topic) Ellen DeGeneres Opens Up About Being Sexually Assaulted As A Teen (NBC Nightly News, posted May 28, 2019) [1:40] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TmGV6umuEU

posted June 01, 2019 02:29 PM            

And!~~ate a sliver piece for you, Randall!! rofl

Well...….
Looks like LL is 'glitching'?
The 'Edit' and Registration buttons went missing. Not going to post anything substantial until the 'Edit' feature comes back.

GEMINI
64th Birthday of Australian Guitarist,
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tommy_Emmanuel

Happy Birthday, Tommy Emmanuel (May 31) *heart*

(music) Windy & Warm; Classical Gas (Tommy Emmanuel at Music City Roots Live From the Factory on Aug 9, 2017) [5:26] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alQrjhMeZtU

posted June 02, 2019 01:09 PM            

Mass shooting
12 People Died, 4 wounded {as of June 2}
.. used a .45 caliber handgun {legally purchased}. Gun was coupled with a suppressor. Shooter had multiple extended magazines (ammunition).

Victims
- http://heavy.com/news/2019/06/virginia-beach-victim-victims-names-photos/
Each victim has a photo, with a description of them and an additional link to their personal biographic memorial.

posted June 03, 2019 02:30 PM            

Want to say also, that I've been "aware" of a "THEFT" that a person/group inflicted to/upon my "personal finances" (H2) and opportunities, in the past few months.
To have caused someone a deliberate 'massive-loss' is viewed by "Higher Forces" as an act of harm, giving 'injury' to my life and person. I don't have the "luxury" of Time.

This was a signal that my own continuing biological life is coming to an awful end--
Homelessness on the streets once this place is no longer available.

Some people are fed romantic and idyllic-propaganda that on-the-streets a person is 'taken care of' and remains safe? .. Hell NO.

It's not the "romantic" adventure that some are led to imagine or dream that it is. (Maybe it works for young people with an otherwise supportive family they can ask for money, who went homeless on-purpose to test and find themselves?)

I'm a female, and an ACTUAL survivor of that.
Barely got through 'alive'.
I still have residual PTSD from ALL OF THAT.
It's terrifying-- if you want the TRUTH.
Hypervigilance becomes your CONSTANT, day and night.

As an Elder, now 64yo!, this body is more frail to the elements-- To face intense agony, then exhaustion and/or sickness, I will NOT survive that experience long.

At this point, it really makes me massively ache inside with sadness that Others thought so 'little' of me.

Want to say that also-- this WHOLE time -- people have HAD the opportunity to direct-contact me here. There was no excuse.

What I had needed was solid sense of stability, security, and a belonging-surround of excellent 'good people' in my life. Actual in-the-body encouragers, and supporters, would have gone efficiently and productive in its effects. I have Good and Kind energies (my physical is more-limited). I was looking for 'the same'.

Things are changing soooo rapidly.

What was true of those others' heartless (dramatic) "mockings" of me, was that I lacked the ability for obtaining the basic-things I needed (for the past years), in order to have participated in all that 'adventure-wave' of the Future.

The most egregious loss over my lifetime was a 'real-people' CARING-Loving-Supportive connection by some who placed a Good Value on my life.

But maybe, I can console self with what others said-- Regard it as GOD Protecting me from making another huge decision-mistake?

I've been looking at the astrology of e.o. Nov 2000, through to the actual physical relocation executed early morning of 6 April 2001 here.

In that astrological time period, I internally had pivoted my life, and 'formed' a decision on where to move cross-country here-- during Jan/Feb (eclipses!)-- then made a visit (via educational seminar) e.o. Feb 2001 to 'test' the vibes.

On the start of the second day, I had a HUGE spiritual 'open-vision' experience during the Praise and Worship segment. It 'sealed' the FACT that I 'know' that God Loves me.
(One of only several experiences of my life). Occurred in the last days of Feb to early March 2001.

Little did I know, that I would NEED to rely on the Revealed-Gift of Extra-INNERSecurity of Love that God Gave me during that amazing Experience!! I was completely Transported, then swiftly brought back into the room.

I came here with the 'purpose' of finding a Spiritual Family, and settling down for a New Beginning, a New Foundation and Re-start for my life.
The TV Pastor I had been following for years before that move, had laid out a Vision he had for this area, and for his network-connections globally.
People from other US States ALSO were inspired to make the relo to 'this' city, for the purpose of Supporting the Building of that Pastor's vision.
(With my own resonating Spiritual Vision to Support, I "fell" for his words).
He never accomplished it--
and later, he got into some 'really-bizarre' practices too.
His (& that church's behavior) consequently sent my life into 'homelessness-on-streets' as I didn't-yet know the AREA. In the past, in my life, I had never had problems finding places to stay, and finding a job in short-time. This was surreal---
I lived alone 'successful' in hiding the shame to others that openly-despised "those people" while THEY didn't know that I was one-of-those.
That was my experience for several years, where I had almost DIED from a germ-attack that wasn't 'believed' by a certain hospital e.r. that had a renown hostility towards homeless. It was a Good thing that an Egyptian man that managed a convenience store INSISTED on taking me to a different hospital (before I hunkered-down for the night). I would have been DEAD from an infection ~6 hours later without that intervention.

Being a 'church family'--- they "should" have 'connected-me' with place and job back when I had suddenly lost 2/3rds of my income.
I was a FAITHFUL tither, and had tithed off the divorce settlement monies (making me their 'top-giver' for two months, as I was informed by someone who knew).
That's what a "family" should have done.

Oh. What I WANTED to point out was that the Current-Astrology is a 'match' to that time period.

The North Node was in Cancer {in the present degrees that they are now-- on my Vesta Cancer H8, to change to H7 shortly afterwards}.

During that time I was "trying" to decide on the Right Direction to go.
I had tried to intuit between a blind-move to Dallas, or, to come here. Since I didn't know anyone there (including a church), and since I had "watched" this TV Pastor regularly for YEARS, I chose 'what I saw' and was familiar with.

The TV Pastor was a Sun Leo (low degrees, conjunct my Jupiter Cancer 27+). {All H8 connections}.
His own Jupiter Cancer was 15+ {inside my H7gem}. His Jupiter Cancer was in orb of my Vesta Cancer 17+ H8.

The transiting North Node was potentiating it.

Transiting Jupiter 1+ was stationing at that time in early Gemini, in orb of my own Sun Gemini. I attended the Conference he gave, with Jupiter Gemini coming to connect with my SUN.

{I'll skip the rest of that delineation-- although, to me, it is ~truly exciting and Fascinating!!!!}

Oh. That was just-before the USA 9-11.
I have nearly the same chart as USA Sibley-- Asc 11.30. Same 'intercepted' houses. But my 11th and 12th houses are 0+ Scorpio and 22+ cusps.}

~*
Some (youngers *hug*) are projecting for things to wait-into the next year.. (oh my).

Tenderly, your thoughts are much appreciated.
HARD Reality 'could potentially' trump your time-tables? Could be I have very-little 'Time' left on my 'LL dance card'.

So ..
I fervently wish (the ones who are FOR me) the very-best in Life.

With ALL my Heart, I hope you KEEP your enthusiasm and a vigorous sense of Adventure -- You'll need that to support your inner-courage and help to provide strength to Overcome any of Life's adversities that will loom in front of you.

Will do my best in Communication, until the day my own body totally prevents it--

Also, for the 'sensitives'--
You know that I live in a gnarly place, so you'll need to keep your energetic Filters if you continue following my posts.

There is also the real possibility that Rm and I could lose this apartment {once the 'ailing' vintage HVAC breaks down-- Management don't make parts for it anymore. They'll have to rip-out the walls to install modern one-- also, this place needs serious renovations. Rm's been here since 1995-- never even been painted! lol. Environment is not important to him. AND, he sleeps through everything sonic.

We're out of a place to live when that occurs suddenly.
It's the finale. Rm will go 'his' way--
and the more-grievous loss may be mine then.

Until then---
This desktop computer is my ONLY-access to the internet. I'll do my best to cheer and encourage the younger people that come across these posts I do---

because I WANT to do that for *them*.

And since I do not have the actual-physical backing and support of outside people, I'll do this as long as I can.

I want to close this post today, with saying this--

The "worst" harm you can EVER ever do to a person, is to steal their "Hope", and their sense of having a Future; and the sense of having connection, in order to survive ..


If God has anything 'purpose' left for me to Be and do on the face of this earth, then HE will come up with a plan, and some Loving folks who "support" and find Value in my Life.

God accomplishes things through the Heart and Hands of "real People"-- not magic wands and top-hats.

As I had said before,
I still ~kinda-imagine/sense invisibly~blindly that there are folks out there who are 'FOR' me.

To THESE, I send My Love.

(music) I Hope You Dance *heart* (Gladys Knight, 2012) [4:01] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YonlJfxk4Rw

posted June 03, 2019 03:43 PM            

You're right. Without a Vision, people fail.

I don't understand why. Is my mission on earth over?

Going with the Flow ..
And saying how VERY much I appreciate what some say.
You're IN my Heart, and I love the contributions you make in other people's lives.
Edit-ADD .. oops-- ^ MINE too!! {{big hugs}}

The way thing are now, I'm going to need healing for this body. My head is so bashed-in from sonics. Even affects my v-job work sometimes.

This all just adds more limitation to what I can do and apply-to, for now.

I 'do' get some healing-improvements when sonics are not active.
Kids home by themselves this summer.

posted June 03, 2019 07:16 PM            

In the snail-mail (Mercury?), I received a gorgeous 'Advice from the MOON' (*laughing*) birthday card sent to me by 'sibling w wife' (Mercury?), and signed by "3" people!
They live in another part of this country.

Had very-quick phone call from a first-cousin (a Cancer Birthday e.o. this month) who lost his long-time wife on May 19. Haven't heard his voice in around 40 years???? WOW!! Such a freaky shock.
He lives in a different section of the country from those others. Just to give you the expanse here.
(We're ALL more-elderly now.)

Seems that the word is now getting around the grapevine, and some have been unpacking what's been going on with me, in over 2 decades, and after all these years. This (to me) can almost be classified.. as a "miracle"? omg..

Will stay grounded,
and wait to see what else unfolds!
Keeping my head on. Not going over the top.
This would truly be a miracle if my imagination doesn't run away with me.
This 'could' represent a piece of the puzzle--
At the least, that the soul will be able to have a completion and release happen within that soul circle. Some that remain are super-elderly {and barely remember}. It would be soo special to have the 'release' and extend the Blessing of forgivenesses before any more death-transitions occur. (Some I had grown with have passed.) {In my depths, I REALLY do with to "forgive" trespasses and oughts. Release it all, from the depths of soul. Closure.}

I am still determined to try to establish self.

To have this start of a Closure with these, will be a Relief to weight in my soul. I want to Bless their Journey, and release the Peace, that brings Rest and Harmony.

Being an older person, there's a whole other perspective to life.

(humor-- Last week at v-job, a newer coworker acted shocked that I was 64. She said she thought I was in my 40s? .. ehhhh 'white lie'? Okay. I'll Take It, and own it! LOL)

posted June 05, 2019 11:55 AM            

Anyways, it's spooky observing some of the talk at LL, and considering the sky transits right now. I know 'those people' don't read these posts (outside of Teasel! *hug*). Some of what I read, and experience, is about pain and things I resonate to.

/heavy edit/

posted June 05, 2019 06:07 PM            

God!
Give discernment. Give sure-certainty.
Keep all Safe from Harmful Relationships.
Give Good and PRECISE Exacting-Intuition.
No Harm .. Protective Shield.

posted June 06, 2019 09:16 PM            

Event: Tuesday, June 6, 1944
aka "D-Day" and
Codenamed "Operation Neptune"
.. fyi t Neptune was conjunct USA Sibley MC

USA was also having Uranus Gemini Return
USA was having Neptune Return when WWII began.
Not going to delineate.

Charts
- http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Historic:_D_Day
- http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Nation:_USA_No.1
- http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Eisenhower,_Dwight_D.

- http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Historic:_World_War_II

(topic) Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower's D-Day Message (U.S. Army Website Videos, 2014) [1:47] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERvSxq6hDZ0

quote ty notes
This order was issued by Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower to encourage Allied soldiers taking part in the D-day invasion of June 6, 1944.
. . .
Against a tense backdrop of uncertain weather forecasts, disagreements in strategy, and related timing dilemmas, Eisenhower decided before dawn on June 5 to proceed with 'Overlord'.
Later that same afternoon, he scribbled a note intended for release, accepting responsibility for the decision to launch the invasion and full blame should the effort to create a beachhead on the Normandy coast fail.
end/quote
- http://www.army.mil/d-day/

"German casualties on D-Day have been estimated at 4,000 to 9,000 men.
Allied casualties were at least 10,000, with 4,414 confirmed dead.

Museums, memorials, and war cemeteries in the area now host many visitors each year. "
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normandy_landings

What an overwhelming event.
Honor and Gratitude for those who fought.
So many gave up their earthly lives in order to free the world from the terror of Nazi Germany (Hitler).

D-Day turned the tides of favor to win in that atrocious War to end All Wars.

(music) Heart of Courage (by Two Steps from Hell; D-Day FDR's Prayer) [3:14] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMy1ZLyaSqk

posted June 12, 2019 11:26 AM            

Some people really ARE very psychic, and/or, good at their trade. I've been still very frustrated here on a daily basis with neighbor-sonics. Occupies most of my attention whether I want to or not. It's affected my health, and hurts every single day. The weekend was wicked. The pain meds (that I tolerate, as I am side-effect reactive to stronger) don't seem to work well, and the pain I'm in when they do their sonic-attacks is relentless.

My chart right now might be adding to the sensitivities I have?? omg. I really really try to be a good-sport about it, but, it's ruining my life; and has been for a very very long slow time now.

I perceive that someone asked if I'd like some suggestions for resolution of this? I would indeed, thank you MORE than you can imagine. (You know, I can't afford to buy things.)

I got a very-short window of time the other day to get into a bit of researching astrology things. It felt soooo good to be able to concentrate and clearly learn. It was like a vitamin! I'd love to gain more proficiency in astrology (of COURSE!!). I'd love to learn better writing too.. (been told since middle-school that I have a talent for it).
.. You know what I found out a few months ago? The famed James Hillman?.. was one of my English teachers in middle-school!! yeah. What a hoot!!
.. It was embarrassing to me also, that for the first time in my life (back then), he was my FIRST crush!! awwwwwww. LOL. He was a tall man (to me), with beautiful red hair. Funny thing is?? Both the men I had married were red-heads!! … awwwwwwwww. The imprint??
.. Anyways. One of the very kind things Mr. Hillman had done for me, was due to the fact that he and I had been in catholic parochial schools. The nuns taught "diagraming" as a way to earn parts of grammar, verbs, objects, nouns, and their 'relationships' in the stems.
The 1/2 year Mr. Hillman was my teacher (1/2 year as he left for another job afterwards.. He was very young), the school had decided to teach English classes with a new curriculum. Diagramming sentences was OUT. With me being a 'visual' graphic person, I was lost!!! without "seeing" the diagram.
He was soooo kind. In the far right corner of the blackboard, he would occasioning just go and 'draw' the diagram of what he was trying to teach the rest of the class.

A Picture. A Graph. An astro Chart... is worth a 1,000 and MORE words.

Part of my worries is not being able to earn enough money, and wind up back in the same straits. I am aware of my competencies as far as the spiritual world goes. I was thinking about that on my errands the other day. I have an ability to locate people's Awareness on the virtual layers. (I know that won't make sense to a lot of people, but to some, you 'get' what I'm saying.)

One of the things I did in my age 20s decade was that I had worked for a metaphysical organization (as their Coordinator). Because they knew of my talent seeing auras, and because other people that boasted of psychic talents used to come to this organization to be evaluated, the president of this organization used to invite me to 'just slip in' to some meetings. I'd 'listen' to what the people said. Afterwards, CTC would ask me my opinion. I had the ability to evaluate talents.
I had spent a whole summer testing over 500 people for nine types of ESP. I knew the boasters, and I knew the 'real' thing.
It's peculiar (as I think of it now), I was never the 'flaky' type.. even though I gave them friendship and affection as I would meet 'all types' at that organization's conference center. I just LOVE 'all' kinds of people, no matter what. I usually take people 'as they are', and I love to observe and encourage them, in whatever ways I can.

So... thank you to those who have been encourage ME during all this ordeal. I love you sooo much. Thank you for saying that it's okay to talk about what I CAN do (since this was Gemini Time).

Whewww… sonics are strong. Anyway. There of course are a lot of things (of 'this' world) that I am in sore need of mentoring for. AND, I really really could use some health-help with overcoming the effects of living here sooo long with such adversity to my sensitive nerve-system.

Psychologically, I deal with things (of course) dealing with past traumas. But 'in my core', I'm good. The MAIN problem with any emotions (if you say 'problem') IS the torment from *sonics*. It's a REAL body-problem, that I have to cope with pain every single waking day of my life here.

Since the doctors have said there is nothing that *they* can do about it, and that I am med-sideEffect sensitive, the BEST solution is to merely remove the 'offense' rather than anything else (if there's nothing else to be done at this point with it). Remove my self from gnarly environment into one more-tolerable. The 'sensitivity' is ratcheted right now because of how 'raw' this has been, and on-going.
If there's one good thing I have to say about my body, is that once it 'gets' that it is in a healing-conducive environment, my 6th House Sun is extra-powerful at recovering its own self. I've seen that happen. .. When I've succumb to germs, I get walloped!, but when the 'turn' comes in that event, I heal faster than most.

Once more, with so much Love and feeling, I really really want to thank those who have been with me for sooo long, and been powerful supports and advocates for myself. I.. I want to apologize all the time, for my confusions. But hey... that's me? ..

Yes, I could use some direct help in resolving this terrible health issue going on in my everyday world environment.

I REALLY want to Do Good in this World.
Want to be part of the Whole.
Want to be one of the problem-solvers..
and am in need that my own physicality is taken care of.

I look forward to 'mutual' relationships.

Am willing to hear (constructive) suggestions for considerations. You matter to me.

Oh dern. The Moon in Libra just went void?!
arggg. But. It's on some superb natal asteroids, and approaching my 30 Urania-Spica conjunct Neptune-rx in Libra H10.

Transiting 30 Urania has made a trine to itself, and will join my own Mercury Gemini 27+, trine Neptune.

I REALLY want to be my Best Self.
Thank you for those who have been encouraging me, and have stayed with me.

Much Love