posted June 23, 2019 09:33 AM            

My neuro-nerve system has been whelmed-- stinging and on fire, and seemingly having grown intensely worse over these past weeks now-- for ~whatever reasons.

Neighbors {sharing this building} in hostility exchanges have been having sonic 'audio wars' with each other. These people are here during the daytime. Next-wall seems to be some kind of hostel for strange folks.. Her spirit of hospitality has so many souls staying there in her place as guests, the ENTIRE day and night.

Sonic wakes from 747-type jets taking off from nearby international airport every 2 minutes, ALL day long. Seems they've found a way to compress flights into 2-minute intervals. On the news last night they bragged proudly about being able to 'double' the their number of flights to 5,000. Increasing Prosperity.
3 runways.
2 are on either side of the building,
the middle one straight-over this building..
like I see the 'belly' of the plane as it flies overhead. (Sometimes gives temp vertigo sense as it passes over. frightening)
Causing surprising 'visual' migraines now, "out of the blue??" (haha, pun!!)

I cannot control my own environment, indeed.
And I can't control my OWN body's neural sensitivities.

I do get inspirations but these get back-burner. Can't function well when discomfort pain goes 'acute'. Consuming every piece of my attention, and growing worry of the implications of that. Nothing more demanding of "NOW" and grounding, than body nervePains.

Today is Sunday.

When I am in a sea of pain, and during points where it gets ACUTE to the point where I can barely stand-it, my inner-resource bubbles up and cries out 'the Name of Jesus' (Christ) (in Mercy).

Many people use this Name in response to something foul.
My neighbor's rap-music lyrics expresses to eff-Him.

Just like Shadow and Light, there's Peace and Healing that can be found in that Name.

He heals and Keeps my Soul, the pinpoint of my consciousness in Peace.
I cry out for the Preserving and Healing of my Body
and my Future.
I'm not ready {nor willing} to die yet.

I've prayed for the Blessing of others, IN that Name.

I want my Life.
I want Restoration and Renewal.

The following song I listen to, helps me dissociate immediate discomforts, and re-connects me to the Joy and Better-self, and the Peace and Health I have in my Core.

semi-Humor---
{imagine Tevye in 'Fidler on the Roof' musical}

Lord! Grant me a Longer Life,
a Fruitful Happy and VERY Productive Life!
May it serve Others.
(You already know that as a Gemmy, I HATE being bored, Lord?? haha}

A Productive Life-- where what I 'do' can truly be a Blessing to Others.

Thank you Lord, for Lindaland, as the Platform that YOU have given me--
for the Ability here to Reach and Inspire,
to Teach and Entertain.
Sooooo Grateful for this Blessing, Lord!!! {{{ }}

Humor---
And God?, Personally????

Either evict my next-wall neighbor??? rofl --
or preferably! haha
Find a Solution and way for me to have a Superb Place to Stay, and to Live and Thrive LONG Term--

Provide all things I need with-which To Do,
with every single cost I can't cover myself easily provided-for, ..

May I be found as Valuable

for the shorter remaining days
of the rest of my Life!

(music) Say The Name (Martha Munizzi, lyrics) [5:35] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWYbNoCsCFQ

For those that don't know the reference to Tevye!!

(music) If I Were A Rich Man (song from 'Fiddler On A Roof' movie) [5:41] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBHZFYpQ6nc

I'll be back to post, AS my environment (and health) allows. There's soo much I could do?, but body-pain has been the continual constant wrench in my gears.

posted July 03, 2019 10:37 AM            

Health feels sooo compromised right now.
Been even afflicting (to my own standard) my v-job. I usually stay long after my shift is over, but recently, I've HAD to cut it short.

So yesterday, later afternoon after my shift I walked a block away from work to visit a large church cathedral's sanctuary. Went to sit and kneel close to the statue of Mary (Mother of Jesus), and lingered for a long while.

Before leaving, I went to the rows of votive candles, and lit a flame that would stay lit in the sacred space long after I left.

My prayers blanketed so many topics, so many people-- including the state and affairs of this world.

(music) Prayer for Home (Fernando Ortega, lyrics) [5:27] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaPVC8Wi4K4

*~
I'm going to have to forfeit a sum of money I'd been saving (from dentist-envelope) towards purchasing new lenses for eyeglasses. Vision is so blurry with these now.
(Meeting medical needs MUST come first.
My material resources are incredibly depleted.)

Asking God to Preserve my Health,
and to Restore My Life back to me.
Lord.... Remove discouragement regarding this.

posted July 04, 2019 10:18 AM            

(music) Save the Country (The Fifth Dimension) [2:40] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTuwAo5sUik

posted July 05, 2019 11:06 AM            

At 11:07:47 a.m. Washington DC,
Friday July 5, 2019,
The USA will have her Solar-Return 2019-2020,
with Sun Cancer 13.19 H7gem.

Simultaneously this year, in tight orb is her Venus Cancer Return 3+. USA Jupiter is 5.56 Cancer.

From her 4th House she has transiting Chiron in Aries making a "square" to her Jupiter Cancer right now. This was exact yesterday evening around 8pm. There will be another on 12 July around the same time. Then April 4, 2020, October 28, 2020, then finally February 1, 2021.

Chiron H4 square Jupiter Cancer H7 ..
"Crisis of Faith"

The USA SR Ascendant is 16+ Virgo, in her natal intercepted Ninth House H(9)Leo .. sextile her natal Sun. Her Progressed Sun is mid-Pisces.

This time period is marked with her Pluto Capricorn Return being in orb, in her H2 - Money, Land, resetting what her Values will be.

What's going to be the new standard we will collectively be viewed and known by, for our Nation-- over the next few years, and impacting for the long-term?

RE-setting.

posted July 06, 2019 11:10 AM            

Woke up this morning.. and it feels like a different world, that I'm not accustomed to.

There were some earthquakes in southern California, 6 and 7 point earthquakes. I had lived out west for a few years late 1970s/80, and the strongest I remembered was 5.3.
(My Chiron line runs through that area, wihtt Venus too; I did NOT have good experiences there. {raped in SF})

Nothing more disconcerting and disorienting than when the ground feels like a strange unwet liquid under your feet.

I feel that earthquake kind of feeling here, on this concrete slab shared by neighbors. The 'shaking' going on today is terrible in here, as my symptoms get worse.

/e

God, Please deliver me.
Help me to be Strong, Stay Strong, and to be 'useful'.
Restore.

Help my Faith.
(And send me Help out of this situation.)

Help the people affected by the Quakes in California, the First-Responders, to flow in a unity.

Instead of fear, and loss...
Bring People Together,
Neighbors helping Each Other through this.
Let economic-factors be made easy.

Bring us Closer.
Let the walls that bring division
crumble and shake.
May our 'unshelled' humans in habitats (crabs) reveal how we are more same, than different. Give people a Heart for each other.

Help us find our unifying common connections during these Times of Change.

Deposit within us..
a Sense of Peace 'in' the earthstorms of life.

(music) Circle (Barbra Streisand) [4:14] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3S7PqzylKM

posted July 08, 2019 09:38 AM            

(for Southern California USA area & Globe)

* "Live stream" Channel
CASeismograph Live Earthquake Stream
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pxQZrDciz0
{link replaced 27July}

* (live-streams) Dutchsinse, Earthquake Live Stream
- http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHE92x768p8h-fMrqhsnE1Q
{extra site added 27July}

Includes a rotating globe showing updates of other seismic activity, in right lower corner of screen.

(music) Be Still (Travis Greene, #christian) [5:56] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILK2vNeMwQI

posted July 10, 2019 06:20 PM            

More *drama* in the 'hood yesterday with next-wall neighbor.

Last evening (during A.G.T. *smile*), then at 2 a.m. hours, then once more after daybreak, there was a series of 'the throwing of heavy objects' next-wall, to land against 'my' wall (made me jump!!), thrown in tantrums.

Lots of heated arguments, and heavy sonics. Hollering inside the apartment, then outside, about 'calling the police' -- (which I have 'learned' to refuse to do). Those were her sounds of her addict-boyfriend having a mental emotional breakdown again.

At 2 a.m. the loud *drama* and arguing moved into the parking lot. She got her two teens and 4 year old into her car, to drive them (to her ?mom's?). MUCH yelling and hollering for a long-time, considering??, in that parking lot. (I was surprised that some other neighbors chose not to call the cops either. Her car is adjacent the bedroom windows of that other-end neighbor for our building.)

Then around ?7-8am, another round of fighting broke out; at that point, she must have driven him to an emergency room (so he could get ?medicated). I was surprised he wasn't hospitalized for his rage-issues.

Nerve-sensitivity seems up at even more refined levels? {I can kind of guess at the astrology of that. LOL}

Had a migraine where I lost my eyesight for several hours! (So disconcerting!!!)

Of course, the-boyfriend (who is violent) came back home (wasn't hospitalized?). The sonic-system got JACKED UP strong (as it's been this past week).

Rm had come home. He had 'slept' through all the drama last night. Told him about it. Told him how 'badly' I was hurting today, and how I'd love if he would go next door and tell them to turn off bass-boost.

He COLDLY, VERY COLDLY REFUSED. .. Angry'ish with me for asking, he LEFT to go on an excursion in his car some more. I was in 'so' much physical pain!!

That was sooo disrespectful.
And it scares me that he is like 'that'.

This so-called 'relationship' is DONE.
He expects me to be-there for him.
He won't be-there for me?

Line in the Sand.
Line in the Sand.

COURAGE-- It took ENORMOUS courage for me to do something that the maintenance-men here have been 'telling' me to DO.

After rm merely 'drove away' in response to my very earnest plea to him, to go advocate next door? .. I broke into heavy tears. Grabbed my keys, and walked over to Management Office. The man was 'on the phone' and on 'hold' so he really couldn't take any time with listening to me, but he told me to quickly tell him what was going on.
Told him how *sonics* from sense-surround system (in her apartment) was keeping me in anguish. {I bawled my eyes out.} Told him I had a wicked migraine.
The call he was on came back. Manager quickly told me, he'd go take care of it?

I HATE TO complain. I'd rather 'stand' it a-little-longer? But today, this was horrible, and ridiculous.

And Rm had abandoned this 'duty' to me, as a sentient human being, in pain.

He REALLY did not care for me.
*Red Flag*

Good Part------------
So. Last night/ early morning before dawn, (after their 2 a.m. fiasco was done), I couldn't go to sleep from the adrenaline of the excitement.

I "prayed". I had a truly 'marvelous' time of Quality-- DEEP Quality Prayer, and Connecting with Spirit.

Cry (right now) with a sense of relief for that, because it's really rare and 'special' where I can 'hook in' to a Good space, and really really really get-down, and get-a-hold of Spirit in such an effective manner, where I 'feel' that nurturing SOLID connection!!

That prayer-time was soooooo incredibly important to me. I sorely "miss" those days that I used to be able to consistently hit that sweet-spot (like connecting the ball to bat, in the game of Baseball), finding self in the Flow -- in Prayer, worship, and fuller-quality deep deep Connecting.

{That would be one of my VERY Important Future Goals--
to get back INTO such consistency,
in a predictable setting conducive to my spiritual growth and development. It's truly truly vital.}

If I knew of a church nearby that did 'Early Morning Intercessory Prayer', (and I had transportation), I'd return to being a VERY Faithful attender. I 'remember' those days.. I was an Intercessor.
Still am-- just grossly 'interrupted' -- in a hiccup for now. That sense is still DEEP in me. It's more Powerful when doing it in a corporate setting-- especially on sanctified grounds.

I mean,

I 'always' sense the Lord inside of me.
That is always certain.

On one level,
I spend a lot of time with my thoughts and heart focused on God. "Pray without ceasing?" Yes, it's something that I had developed through MUCH time.

But in the dark-early of this morning, I was able to have a the kind of pithy deep Connection that I'd LOVE to practice every single day. ---

When I was in better situations,
in times where it was possible to have that 'private' time,
well, I miss it very much.

I miss being able to count on having 'routine',
and to have all my 'things' in right order and accessible to me.

My 'things' I have leftover from the downsizes of a number of moves, have been packed in bins, for years now.

Honestly, I've felt 'in-between moves' for decades, in in THIS place, for a decade of it.

The astrological community says the next 'launch window' won't come until Fall/Autumn, or, not even until "next" year?

My 'health' has been at stake here.
I am an extremely 'patient' person, (for all the years of this thread!).

My 'Time' left on Earth is much-shorter than most who read this... especially considering the stress my health has been enduring ALL this time.

You're making 30 year-plans! {{Smile. Heart.}}

My Spiritual Coping Place------------

Calling on Dr. Jesus!!!!
Please get my physical body in order!!
I need it, to make a living and be economically able to support-self!!!

Have the Right persons contact me direct.

When and WHILE I'm IN the 'now' kind of pain???
When I feel like there's NO where to go,
no one to 'call', and nothing I can do?
When my nerve-system feels intensely-zazzed, shaken, and 'electrified'???

I cope by Surrender! ..
Give it to 'Jesus'!

(music) If Jesus Can't Fix It (The Mighty Clouds Of Joy, 2009, Christian) [11:22] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bD3akofyt8I

Sorry again to craft this post around 'my' stories, instead of 'you' and The Collective that is 'out there'.

Hope that some of you can be able to glean a spiritual message from some of these things I've said.

{{ }}

posted July 12, 2019 07:18 PM            

Yeah, it's been really really really tough recently. Feels like life has closed-in on me. My body has been hurting a lot from the sonics now, and this is soooo disappointing to me. It 'curbs' so many things I could do. *tears*

The Manager had gone and "fixed" my problem with those sonics....

UNTIL

Rm decided to called the police on the man the night-before, "because" that man made 'personal threats' at him while he was in the parking lot, out for a smoke.

Police responded. (3 cars!!). They said they couldn't 'do' anything about him, since he stayed inside without opening the door to talk to police.

Of course, afterwards--- the *sonics* went back UP, for "revenge".

The woman of that apartment came back in the morning, and there was MORE hollering, slinging and fighting. She decided to park her car in a different place in the 'hood, in order to keep him from damaging her car (again).

Police showed up LAST night on a different call, for people across the street from us.

I barely heard what was being said-- except!, words again, that the police cannot 'do' anything, when the person being called-about refuses to answer the door. The advice is to tell Management.
(Rm had failed to carry out their advice to do so. *no surprise*)

The whole day today, was just painful.

Thanks sooo much for your interest.

*~

About the return of your KITTIES?!!
Oh hurray!! Thanks for relaying the news that they came back SAFE.

Hoping things in life work out well, for BOTH of us.

FYI--
{*IF* something 'happens' to me health-wise (or living-wise) where I am not able to post, I'm going to try to arrange it that Pearlty {of 'Calendar thread' at Yellow Wax forum, that will bump her too} will receive a text or call.
My hopes are that she will come to this thread to Post info-updates, *if* for some reason, I am not able-to. }

"Hurricane Season" is active now in USA too.

posted July 15, 2019 01:46 PM            

The Locale Chart has almost identical houses to my own natal.

Eclipse Sun Cancer is on my
VERTEX Cancer 24+ H8 (and 11911 Angel!!)
conjunct natal Uranus Cancer 25+. H8

ec-Moon Capricorn 24+ is on natal
anti-vertex H2,
and Ceres r Capricorn 25+ H2

My Progressed Moon is Capricorn 20+.

Uranus Cancer position is generational and shared by souls around my age.

eclipse-Moon Cap 24.00 trines
natal Moon Virgo 24.56
and locale eclipse-Virgo-MC 25+, H9.

ec-chart's Venus Cancer 16+
on cusp of H8,
joins a loaded Eighth House,
including planets in Leo in that 8th.

The Chart has beautiful connections to planets and houses in my own.

natal Moon Virgo 24+ H9
natal Jupiter Cancer 27+ H8

------------------------
Quick 'HOOD update--
* End-neighbor (who had been arrested in a raid)
is back home now-- his cat is alright.
He was going through this, with his Saturn-Return, with a Sun-Saturn Capricorn aspect in his chart. (Don't know his astro houses yet.)
He has 'favor' right now (because of his great attitude and solid owning of responsibility, including monetary damages from police battering rams on front door--
(on "Sun Canc Opp Pluto Cap" day! Wow.).
Things are working well for him.
The courts recognize he had never been in trouble before.
He's not harmed any human beings.
Hoping for probation for next half of year.

* Next-Wall neighbor... *drama*!!
The police FINALLY "arrested" her boyfriend for 'stabbing' at her with a big knife. ~Blood! (ended up being his, not hers)..
He 'trashed' her apartment, broke appliances, furniture, dented drywall, etc. Is a drug-addict, with Rage-issues.
Her baby-daddy had been arrested for brandishing a gun at her, earlier this year?
She's a 29+ Cancer Sun, I think--

Heard all this on Sunday morning.
They've been told they have to work on moving out now. Might take a month or more?

Talked to her. She's doing better and better with quality of projects she's hired to do. (I wish the best for her--AND. Told her she needs Woman's Counseling.)
*~

continue...

* V-Job tomorrow.
Heard that my Gemmy boss (who broke her ankle a few months ago), is cleared to come back to the office. This will bring relief to the rest of the staff. She is truly-needed there. *Heart*
I'm sure the Cappy Super-Boss will be elated.

------------------------

There is nothing more "now" than needing to endure and persevere through physical-pain -- (which I know some people are going through right now *bheart*).

Reminds one of one's 'real' limitations.

And!, for the need to be able to rely on others to surround you with care and support while you endure in a vulnerable state. The body must be allowed to do what it must, to heal.

I know how "pop & trendy" it is to say 'do it yourself'?--

that is, gently,
UNTIL you're the one who finds out in surprising moments, how much we can really need the assistance of others in our life.

You learn who really loves you,
who your Team is-- when the rubber-meets-the-road--
or the flood is on your property,
or the quake damaged your house,
if the fire consumed your home,
if you're going through chemo to cure your cancer,
if you're in a depression and need the cheer, encouragement, and support of another in your life.

Who do you have in your life, when you are in need?

Some are only fair weather people?

Do you have loyal true people in your life who really-securely have your back when the chips are down?

Friends, who are not afraid to play the part of rescue-ranger, with compassionate and invested-Hearts?

Are they enthusiastic about your survival and thrival in this world?

You Belong. Everyone deserves other Humans willing to be involved in another person's life.

Pay it forward.

*~

There is a Venus Opp Saturn-rx aspect today.
That aspect can feel isolating, with an alienated-feel to it.

I have that one in my chart. Have been familiar with this over my lifetime.

… natal Saturn rx Scorpio 16+ H11 …
Supported today by trine from tVenus Cancer 16 and NN 17, cusp of H7/8.
There's a sextile from tSaturn-rx Cap 16+ sextile natal,
{straddling H2cusp to go into H1 once more}.
Natal Saturn receives support, through this.

Progressed Moon is Capricorn 20+ ..
Is pressed by tPluto-r 21+ Cap???

I have some other really supportive aspects going on.

Yes! MUST look at the waterglass of life as half-full, rather than sense the emptiness.

Tomorrow during the eclipse, after work,
I (generally!) plan on going back to the church sanctuary I was in for the NewMoon Solar Eclipse.

I soooo appreciate the variety of people that are a part of my life.

posted July 17, 2019 09:02 AM            

quote: “I'm going to try to arrange it that Pearlty {of 'Calendar thread' at Yellow Wax forum, that will bump her too} will receive a text or call.”

posted July 20, 2019 02:29 PM            

Modern Rockets now.

Today is the 50 year Anniversary of the first Landing of Humans on the Moon-- taking action steps towards a mission to visit other planets. Apollo 11 Mission.
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_11
- http://www.nasa.gov/specials/apollo50th/events.html

Astrology Chart of this Historic Event
- http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Space:_Apollo_11_(Launch)

I was a teenager, watching this event on television.
It was thrilling, nerve-racking {LOL}, and surreal.

Now, humans desire to conquer 'the science' on traveling long-term in Space to reach other planets.

Humans still have to explore and conquer our own self-Spaces, our values and motivations, exploring current issues and re-setting what our Earth Society wants to BE in the future.

Will we choose a world based on the Values of Common Courtesy and Compassion?
"Love's gonna conquer all.."

Believe …

(music) Dear Hate (Maren Morris, perf Vince Gill) [3:40] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUPR5-igTVY

(topic) Give or Take (scene from Hidden Figures) [1:30] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAEnv1PvBvw

(music) Yes We Can!! (song from Hidden Figures) [0:40] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2wG_RHB3BA

posted July 25, 2019 12:44 PM            

Have been in a strange state of data-overwhelm, paying attention to the news.
Hearing their conflicting reports and logic, has a kind of ill-effect.

WHO is REALLY going to win this war of Language and 'Words'?

Reminiscent of the story of the Tower of Babel, the people were making good progress on their project. They were building a structure, communicating and cooperating. They had a common-language and understanding. There was a cooperative spirit.

Then.... Along comes the injection of a spirit of 'confusion'.

In our news, they share the 'spelling' of same English words, but speak in simultaneous TWO separate dictionaries of word-meanings.

Reminds me of this old Star Trek episode! *Heart*

Saturation...

(topic) Liar's Paradox (Star Trek clip) [1:53] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlMegqgGORY

"The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it's taken place!"
--George Bernard Shaw

So, the other day, I realized how far OUT my thoughts were-- trying to grasp 'the answers' to Everything. And I stopped. Realized how frozen it all was--- and, as when I'd been a child, I told self that 'it was okay' to simplify and stay within the hedges of my own yard for a few days.

Gave self permission to limit how 'much' I kept on my global-oriented plate, as a sole soul-citizen.

What matters most, is the "one-on-one" kind of Good Performed.

posted July 26, 2019 01:39 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
Hope the sonics improve.

---

Oh gosh, so do I.
I have to leave the building right now, to escape!! {kinda *laughing to self*}. I was closing down tabs on computer when I noticed you bumped my thread.

There was *RAGE drama* going on earlier next door... with a corresponding elevation of *sonics* audio system. JOLT!!

They have no idea how much that hurts my body.
? ~Or, maybe they DO, and just don't give a frig! Gotta go now-- before triggers another migraine?! aaarrrrrgh. *whimpers*

posted August 02, 2019 03:20 PM            

Next-wall is a Gamer-Haven for teens--
WarGames, several stations in different rooms--
from early morning, till near-midnight, many days.