posted February 14, 2015 11:55 PM            

All last night I had been feeling this thing in me (in state of sleep) like being warned about moving to the area I was thinking about. There was something violent about it. I don't know if it's just nervousness, or if it's an actual flag.

I've got Neptune squaring my Sun right now. Probably not the greatest time to be able to 'squarely' see things? Such a mix going on between masculine mind that just likes to make the decision, then follow it, no matter what happen. But that can be a really harsh and mean thing to the inside me... My head can always find something to do. I've had so much hardness and harshness, I don't want to go anywhere where I wouldn't be fully and most-warmly received and welcomed. If things be that cold and harsh to move, then I'm doing just fine right here. Rm and I get along fine these days. It's just when the 'hood starts rocking so badly with the uber woofers-- they've been good for past few days, basically. (I was surprised today, it wasn't bad.)

I do want to get on with my life. I need more counsel, someone I could sit down and really talk to... Until then, I would stay right here. It would not be good self-care to up and move to no where land, without being received and supported through the transition.

Been clearing a LOT of past life things in me right now. Really, I feel as though I'm living-out years of possible-time in just a few hours of facing things, and absorbing what I need.

I feel wobbly and strong at the same time. But I'm moving forward. So different from how I was.... just want to anchor and secure what I learn. Growing so much!

posted February 16, 2015 03:13 PM            

Well, you know that I have all that vibey-stuff going on, and that this 'hood ain't the best of 'hoods but those of us who get along with each other are golden. The backyard neighbor had thrown a party (woofers and all) but instead of going all night, it stopped after only about 5 hours. So that was very good (after experiences of having to deal with nonstop partying for days). I can do 'short' stuff. But that abuse of round the clock daisy-looping partying is not acceptable... gotta be able to 'rest' between the beats.

Like I said, it's still going on -- the problem with being in the back of people's concentrated woofers, and the prolonged diesel equipment, very old compressors. Overcomes my ability to think and concentrate well. Having these for short periods of time seems okay, if I'm rested. But it's the NON-STOP element of this all that 'drains' my body-batteries.

If body-batteries get too low, then that leaves ANY person vulnerable psychologically too... I consider myself so lucky to be self-understanding, and I soooo appreciate people who have been encouraging me in this way too. (You've done so much good towards me, in this way.) I'm relatively self-starting type of person. Sometimes all I need is a topic?, then boom-- it flows out!

Going back, I try to take really really good care of myself and my psychology in that way. I've been through a lot of abuse in my life, plus on top of that, I'm a sensitive person. In recent months, I've grown so much especially through my online-type relationships (for which I am uberly grateful). I'm getting a LOT of self processing done, and I am soooo happy for that.

Meanwhile, back in the 'hood last night! (as the Sun entered 3rd astroHouse here)---

People who throw big BBQ parties also draw or attract folk who are not-known to the 'hood. We had those kinds of visitors last night, and while my senior rm was out taking a smoke just outside, a car of these backed into his body then sped off. Other neighbors also witnessed this (they just 'happened' to be looking out their window). Two of them jumped into their car and sped off to find this car (with two men and one woman) that had just hit the body of my rm. He was not 'hurt' at all, just 'shoved' by this car. The police was called and our 'hood corner talked to them about the incident....

Rm is an older man, and it's so disconcerting when --(in what should and seems to be) an out of the way more secluded spot, just a few meters from your doorstep----- strangers of ill-intent would come and behave in ways like that (including the dumping of their fast-food takeouts and beer bottles). Anyway, it had a psychological impact on him this morning (I could see how he was out of sorts). He has a routine doc appointment today (and one tomorrow) so he's 'home' and just bothered by so much right now on subliminal levels.

It's been a challenge to me to be able to keep my ego-levels up at potent-levels (personal space-boundary) while maintaining a peaceful, inwardly open-hearted wide-understanding core. I'm dealing with many of my OWN very-close intensive irritations-- of those 'vibeys' from equipment nearby, PLUS that dern TV on in the background ALL the time. (oh, I'm just being onery here, really I feel very gentle, very vibrant). In some ways we are SOOOO opposite! He's VERY neurotic IF the TV isn't on (whether he's asleep in front of it or not). And, he does NOT like ME making 'any sounds' in the room while his TV is on? wha???? (we've had some good laughs about that recently!) o no no -- you know I need my own private-space!..... Quarters are too close here.

Plus! he goes sorta bozonkers if he 'happens' to come home early and walks in to see me watching 'anything' remotely religious--- oooo noooooo, like he's going to throw a temper-tantrum?... Hey, so I like TD Jakes! (I haven't watched him in a really, really long time now (like maybe more than a year?), and it's only on for 30 minutes??!~~ sheesh? (only being humorous here, okay) --> My inner attitude is to kindly "allow him" to deal-with-it, gosh! Sometimes the tables turn, you know? I've been putting up with a lot of crappy things that I really shouldn't have succumbed to, but did. And he's lovingly starting to see that now, too (although, I want to emphasize that this is still a short term rather than long term relationship?). Like, I'm not allowed to "live out loud!" I must be quiet, like a mouse! uh, sorry.... this little-mouse is finally settling and finding her roarrr-voice

Yep, I'm learning... Learning to keep MY boundaries set (yet still-porous) while invaded by other types of energies (whether it be woofers & compressors, or as etheric-type energies). That wide-open phenomenon is so incredibly amazing-interesting to me... It happens in more than one way, in multiple layers and levels of consciousness. Different people on different layers.

Reminds me of (what I imagine would be) the FB layers of privacy and friends sharing [still gotta figure that one before I ever sign up for it] ~~~ I've been watching youtubevideos on 'how' to do youtubing. It will be so nice to have my own account someday-- I look forward to it.

I am disappointed that [[name of asteroid site/deleted]] has closed its site off to me now (They demand payment). Through casually keeping track of some of the asteroids, I believe I tripped on possible meanings for what some of the lesser known asteroids refer to. For example, I was getting ready to do a post here about 'The Enlisted Man' asteroid... and (in all my being a human reacting-person) I feel like I don't want to talk about the asteroid findings anymore, nor my own placements (which I know ADDS to the knowledge-bank on asteroids). I "feel" 'defensive' move in me of wanting to keep quiet about my findings, or things I may 'think' have correlation. And I DON'T like that feeling inside me, at all. I think it's important to share things. But people seem to be insistent on 'protecting' their professions, and maybe others are 'making money' OFF of them, so, in turn, THEY want to 'sell' information that others are selling and making money from! I understand that. But there are unintended consequences there with that.... And one of them is "me." I don't make money off my findings. And anytime I look something up, I know that it's registered as information that these sites themselves can use in their OWN research. So I guess it's tossed up that way. My own ability to research is extremely narrowed-in now. But the things I have discovered for me, and for what it's done for my own life, still remains, and will ever be 'amazing' ....

Found this brandnew youtube the other day...

I resonate with the 'space' and layers this man occupies! It's as though I've learned this on my own inwardly over the past year. Makes me weep beautiful-tears to know that I Belong to the tribe of people who are and strive to operate from this level and way too. Sometimes I feel 'as though' I don't communicate it properly, but yes. "This" is my frequency, my place that I've found within. ... And I would be soooooo happy to be able to anchor this within-me. I need to practice, and hone 'what this is' inside of me.

Also listened to [[website/del]], for this coming New Moon Feb 17, at 29 Aquarius/ 0 Pisces, that is occurring tomorrow evening (here E.T.).... Thracey described it sooo exactly.... I know what she was saying. You don't "just" 'only' softly go out-there into the lalala loosey places of other-world consciousness-- no. Not just that. There is a kind of solid-type grasping of 'what IS there' WHILE you be (and visit) in those more-metaphysical realms.... Personally, I feel this (understand and get this) with a kind of clarity (yet 'what I view' is still like soft grease-lense filmy 'in that spot' I'd very much like to 'see' VERY VERY much). I etherically "know" 'where' that place is inside. I personally need to learn the ropes of exploring it! (O vibeys, ya juz gotta leave me alone! *drama*) I want to 'Know'-- I really do....

posted February 17, 2015 09:36 PM            

{sorry-- bit more weary than usual right now}

posted February 17, 2015 10:25 PM            

(music) I Be Your Water (Sweet Honey In The Rock) lyrics [6:10] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUnyOETz7DY

(music) The Best In Me (Marvin Sapp) [8:34] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-UAP_LMpqc

posted February 18, 2015 06:24 PM            

One thing that's been weighing heavy in me lately is the world at large, and news reports about the all the suffering and the killings.

In my life I used to awaken at night and be prompted to pray suddenly, just pray.... and in the morning I'd find out that a host of souls had just been released from the earth (natural disasters). I'd feel prompted to pray for those who were alone and being persecuted~~ I still pray that the Lord help them know that they are NOT alone in their travails. So much prayer support is needed in these days now. If we can't be there in our bodies, then we certainly can light inner spiritual candles for these! It is the least and most and highest service we can offer, no matter where we are. When all else fails? we are NOT a powerless people. When you pray, then Heaven does move....

I got my Alan Oken mail today (along with everybody else on his email list of course!).... I feel such love and affection for him. So precious! tender compassionate and feisty. I first entered astrology by Mark Lerner (a blessing!!), but my first understanding into astrology came by Mr. Oken. Each time I'd read his book called Alan Oken's Complete Astrology, I'd end up crying, slobbering with tears streaming down my face. My heart would just pour out. His writing was (is) soooo Beautiful and filled with Spirit to me. I actually sent him an email long ago expressing this, and also for his spunk when it came to politics here. He is so spiritual, AND, he took a holy-fit about politics in one newsletter (back when Saturn was in Libra). I was soooo relieved, and all that frustration I had felt during that time just melted away as I laughed and laughed and laughed. It cured me during that time! He responded sooo graciously to my email (and very promptly too). I just love that man. His Soul has touched my own so deeply.

He even has an asteroid named for him!
46563 Oken

I have asteroid Oken (soul evolving, the incarnation of Love within each one of us, the Divine Love Within, the essence of Universal Love) in Cancer 8th House. Oken forms a creative biQuintile to my Saggi Ascendant, and trines my Saturn Scorpio in the 11th House.

Oken natal placement is Cancer 17.30' in 8th House--
conjuncts asteroids Vesta 17.25' (committed dedication), and 48575 Hawaii (multiculturalism, racial diversity).

Progressed Oken now in Leo 5.42' my P'Sun Leo is 4.52.

Today in my Progressed Composite chart with Mr. Oken, during this NewMoon happening in the hour, 29Aqua/0Pisces, transiting Mercury is ON!!! the/our Progressed Composite Ascendant Aquarius 4.33'56". We have JUNO ON that Ascendant 4.34'1" with LEO Descendant 4.33'56" with transiting Juno-rx at Leo 5.12'. It's the degree of my P'Oken!, and the Leo Desc is the degree of my P'Sun! .... Hey? is there no wonder why I love this guy!? He's definitely in my Heart, my Soul, and my astrology, yay! ... Astrology, what a thrill!! ~~

So by the Spirit that links us all, I send you so much Love, Dear Sir, wherever you Be! Many grateful thanks for your Life. You've made such a Difference in mine!

posted February 19, 2015 02:08 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by mirage29:
^ The next time I have an inner-prompt to check it again, I will. And I'm not going to let myself be dissuaded from checking other asteroids either. I'll just approach my searches in a different manner than I'd been accustomed. It was just a disappointment that struck me, that had other kinds of energy attached to it (nonrelated). My Sun and Moon and Ascendant are mutables:
Happy are the flexible, for they will not be easily broken.
yay for the mutables!

One thing that's been weighing heavy in me lately is the world at large, and news reports about the all the suffering and the killings.

In my life I used to awaken at night and be prompted to pray suddenly, just pray.... and in the morning I'd find out that a host of souls had just been released from the earth (natural disasters). I'd feel prompted to pray for those who were alone and being persecuted~~ I still pray that the Lord help them know that they are NOT alone in their travails. So much prayer support is needed in these days now. If we can't be there in our bodies, then we certainly can light inner spiritual candles for these! It is the least and most and highest service we can offer, no matter where we are. When all else fails? we are NOT a powerless people. When you pray, then Heaven does move....

I got my Alan Oken mail today (along with everybody else on his email list of course!).... I feel such love and affection for him. So precious! tender compassionate and feisty. I first entered astrology by Mark Lerner (a blessing!!), but my first understanding into astrology came by Mr. Oken. Each time I'd read his book called Alan Oken's Complete Astrology, I'd end up crying, slobbering with tears streaming down my face. My heart would just pour out. His writing was (is) soooo Beautiful and filled with Spirit to me. I actually sent him an email long ago expressing this, and also for his spunk when it came to politics here. He is so spiritual, AND, he took a holy-fit about politics in one newsletter (back when Saturn was in Libra). I was soooo relieved, and all that frustration I had felt during that time just melted away as I laughed and laughed and laughed. It cured me during that time! He responded sooo graciously to my email (and very promptly too). I just love that man. His Soul has touched my own so deeply.

He even has an asteroid named for him!
[b]46563 Oken

I have asteroid Oken (soul evolving, the incarnation of Love within each one of us, the Divine Love Within, the essence of Universal Love) in Cancer 8th House. Oken forms a creative biQuintile to my Saggi Ascendant, and trines my Saturn Scorpio in the 11th House.

Oken natal placement is Cancer 17.30' in 8th House--
conjuncts asteroids Vesta 17.25' (committed dedication), and 48575 Hawaii (multiculturalism, racial diversity).

Progressed Oken now in Leo 5.42' my P'Sun Leo is 4.52.

Today in my Progressed Composite chart with Mr. Oken, during this NewMoon happening in the hour, 29Aqua/0Pisces, transiting Mercury is ON!!! the/our Progressed Composite Ascendant Aquarius 4.33'56". We have JUNO ON that Ascendant 4.34'1" with LEO Descendant 4.33'56" with transiting Juno-rx at Leo 5.12'. It's the degree of my P'Oken!, and the Leo Desc is the degree of my P'Sun! .... Hey? is there no wonder why I love this guy!? He's definitely in my Heart, my Soul, and my astrology, yay! ... Astrology, what a thrill!! ~~

So by the Spirit that links us all, I send you so much Love, Dear Sir, wherever you Be! Many grateful thanks for your Life. You've made such a Difference in mine!

[/B]

---

posted February 19, 2015 10:30 PM            

I think I have bills-intuition. The bill for the dentist I went to see to fix my tooth came in under-budget for me. Saved money because the drilling she had to do wouldn't require any nitrous gas and three shots of novo (like the surgery I had around 8 months ago). So that was good. My next appointment a few weeks from now will be a 'normal' appointment (to do overall check, xrays, stuff like that to make sure I don't have anything that needs serious attention.) So that's all good.

But then tonight, I found a bill for tests I had that Medicare decided not to cover (which that doctor I went to see said 'was included' in the package-plan at his office). ... Winds up to be the 'amount' I "saved" from budget at the dentist. So AT LEAST, that leaves me 'even'... So that's good too, in the end.

... Venus is now at 29 Pisces, and Mars will be on my asteroid 13212 Jayleno Aries 0.33' only a few degrees from my IC! No wonder I felt 'at home' with his corny humor.

My favorite cute joke of his was the one where he asks 'Why didn't Jeffrey Dahmer eat any of the kids coming out of Hollywood?' .... Answer, Coz they were 'spoiled'!

Then I loved his cat videos...

(topic) Jay Leno's Cat Video (Ellen!, Jan 29, 2014) [1:47] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PljWXf8KI88

posted February 19, 2015 10:54 PM            

(music) I'll Stand By You (Carrie Underwood, lyrics) [3:30] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deY9cPzqVkE

posted February 21, 2015 11:13 PM            

Came by to post yesterday, and as I was typing, I began to notice that parts of the page were starting to go missing-- no, not a computer glitch. It was the start of a visual migraine. I'd forgotten all about those, as it's been such a long time since I had one-- parts of the page start to go missing, then little rainbow appears in an arc around the periphery. (rt eye).

I don't really get a headache with it, except for one of those lighter nuisance one for a couple days. But it's not bad. Tielenol, coffee, and fresh air goes far to relieve. (It's that transit of Mars newly in Aries approaching my IC, to square my natal Mars Cancer exactly. ~~ Astrology. So amazing... When the headache showed up a degree and a half before the IC, I was surprised it came 'early' and not AT the IC this time. Interesting to see how some planets trigger before, some AT, and some afterwards. It truly depends... I love observing it. ... Oh! I'm staying very aware with sharp things, and fire things, etc. Not sweating it. Staying loose.)

Finally caught that bus and got to shop at my favorite store, hug a few people, and bought some frankincense-myrrh incense. Also picked up Red Rose. Haven't tried it yet, but when I sniff the box, and it smells truly beautiful.... Thank you much to the country of India (...place it was manufactured).

(music) My Eyes Were Made To See Thy Beauty Everywhere (yogananda quote set to song) [3:18] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZhhmOwK7Tk

posted February 22, 2015 09:16 AM            

Astrologer Jeff Jawer passed away February 10, 2015 in the State of Washington, USA. I didn't realize he was sick. I was a huge fan of Planet Pulse videos till they stopped broadcasting at the end of September 2014.

I'd been thinking about him recently when my Progressed Moon arrived at the degree of his Scorpio Moon...

My deepest condolences to his video-partner Rick Levine, to his wife and two daughters, and for the tribe.

posted February 23, 2015 07:35 PM            

It wound up that the bus stop I would have gotten off at had a fatal accident, from someone who had a medical emergency and crashed their car into a business located right at that bus stop. A pedestrian got hit there (I don't know if that person survived. I heard from someone there that the person died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, but that is just hearsay.) The driver of the vehicle died at the crash site. So anyway, the bus I was on had to take a detour. And I prayed for whatever was going on there AT that flashing accident scene (before I or others knew yet what was going on).

After the store, I walked down to the place I would be catching the bus back home (going the other way), but that stop was still behind police-tape. I wasn't sure how much longer the police would be, and my bus was blocked from reaching its spot. Decided to walk down to another place that used to be a bus stop, but now was taken down. So again, I headed back to the intersection where my bus stop was located behind the blocking tape.

As I waited on that corner for the pedestrian light to give a signal to cross, I felt a strange thing started happening to me in consciousness. I felt compelled, suddenly, to pray the catholic prayer called the "Hail Mary"... (this would have been around 4pm?). I prayed it... now and at the Hour of Our Death, Amen. I realized how this was the Hour of Death of the person I had found out just died there at the bus stop~~ the one I would have been at around the time of the crash. I learned before how sometimes souls who just get hit out of the blue like that can sometimes be in confusion. Simultaneously to my prompt to start praying, I realized how souls that suddenly lose their bodies can benefit from 'something they had known before', like if in their past they had had a catholic upbringing, then the prayer 'Hail Mary' would be an important point of contact, a tie for them. So as I felt to pray that prayer again (three times), I somehow knew (it made sense that) the soul there would still be questioning its body's demise... (and I flashed back to my own time, out-of-body, when under anesthesia at 4 years old). I prayed, while solidly standing there on the concrete, feeling sorta scared at what was going on within my own self (with that Mars square Mars! o yikers?).

I didn't really know for sure if 'what I was doing' was working? (It was probably more for me haha and prayers on questions about my own mortality *lol*) But somewhere inside me, I sure hoped that that soul who just died could hear me broadcasting from one layer of consciousness and the in-between worlds. Both those individuals (who perished in some way) would have needed an anchor to hook up with, on some kind of earth to heaven realm-sense, in order for them to have made an easier transition.

It was happening to them in this 'hiccup' of time. Maybe whatever spiritual training they received as a child would 'use this' in order to make that bridge-over to where-ever... Oh yeah, I'm good at my mercury (a potent planet for me) opp GC, and I admit that through the whole experience standing on that corner, I was CHICKEN AS HELL!! ... In the past I've seen ghosts appearing as actual and REAL as any other human being~~ the thing is, I didn't know that he wasn't real, when others did and they never told me that (It was a discovery I made a few years later.) So, I suck at knowing the difference between the ghosts and the real people. O gosh would you know how I doubted my self with mind games standing at that corner of the accident. I had to keep checking myself~~ like the movies, did I just leave my body! LOL ROTF (of course not).

The planes of other Consciousness?? whoah.... It's like no, no, I'm REALLY not ready to die yet, and I keep freakin myself out here! *grin* Emphatically NOT (2857! is 28.44' Pisces, conjunct Fixed Star Scheat {as it sounds!}, and 3412 Kafka 28.30 {surreal situations, the paranormal, the bizarre}-- not ready to shuffle-off any mortal coil just yet! --- I'm hanging on for Dear Life in this one, now that I know that there are finally things to live for.

--- 552 Kundry, 60558 Echeclus, 38628 Huya in that 28+ Cancer 8th House next to Jupiter.

Echeclus (according to a few astrologers) means that I come in-range, then out of range of hearing for short and unpredictable periods of time (thankyou Amable!!) but eventually I learn to hear the thumps. (One of my favorite movies is 'The Hunt For Red October'... radar guy, Amable!) ... Huya has something to do with healing our Past Lives (holmes/amable) which I deeply hope has been happening... 'the transformation of fixed patterns from past lives into a free and flexible expression of life.' ... trine Fixed Star Toliman in H-12 (teaching others, expanding their knowledge... through something that has gone wrong or needs repairing, either in an individual sense, or a Collective one--- thankyou to the fixedstar teachers... I didn't note down which website I'm quoting, but deeply I thank you so much for your sharing that knowledge which has power to save)

So anyway this post went on for pages and pages and pages, and I deleted so much information before my posting. ... ...