posted July 20, 2015 04:40 PM            

This is definitely a time period of 'remembrances' for me.... present & pasts. My astrological transits are 'out of this world' right now. Just breathtaking, and so unexpected. My innerSpiritman has been blazing and hungry with such pulling and pulling inside... crying out to God, pulling on Him. Wooing His Spirit, craving and seeking Him.

I had done a bit of research about time when Venus was 29 LEO, then crossed into early Virgo to turn 'Retro' back into Leo with Jupiter Leo; the Nodes were transiting Virgo/Pisces (my H9).

These weeks now in 2015 is a repeating of these kinds of transits.....

ASIDE: I also want to note that Magdalene 318 and Yeshuhua 3241 are having a pronounced effect in my chart right now too-- also contacts Vesta and Pallas Athene.
Sun on my Jupiter, Mercury and Mars to my Vertex-Uranus... 8th House matters. Progressed too.

Last time Yeshuhua entered first half of my Taurus 5th, I had profound 'religious' feelings. And corresponds also to first degrees of Virgo. I seem to have many 'church'/religious asteroids in these places.... [5th and 9th Houses, and stellium 8th.

All being affected right now-- aw heck, my whole-Life is affected right now! Just ~musing. I'll have to do those asteroids one of these days.... My inner-asteroid storyteller has such imagination! ...)

continuing....
It was July 1979, August 1979. (24 yrs old).

Vision occurred July 15/16, 1979, (Sun ~22/23 degrees Cancer, btw)... just before eclipse at 29LEO on July 22/23. (Eclipses have seemed to have played critical roles in my life.)

Open-vision of Jesus on the Cross, at a time I was feeling bottom-of-barrel insignificant and so invisible that I thought no one would ever miss me, my existence didn't count for anything, and that the whole world seemed angry with me for just living.

God in His Infinite broad and extraordinary grace (in the form of a no-drama objective Loving Being) told-showed me that He had 'assigned' a people to me, and me to a people. (I may describe this vision at another time.)

When I found that catholic church last week, I walked into the sanctuary and 'saw' this huge Jesus on the Cross.... Mother Mary (to my right/ Jesus' left) with a Sword piercing her Heart. The other side has John The Beloved (writer of Book of Revelations) holding a pen and scroll, with an eagle off his left foot. This was jaw-dropping to me to find. I 'positioned' myself at the place/space where I stood in the open-vision, and soaked a while.... Just soaked it.

yt poster Gary Penner note:
The Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany, featuring its gothic architecture and stained glass.
Images depict some of the ways God comes to man: through water and word at baptism, as a human at Jesus' birth and at Jesus' resurrection, giving hope through all earthly travails.

(music) E'en So Lord Jesus Quickly Come (Kansas City Chorale; scene [3:21] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNyLmy3ml5Q

{more music for those who like to soak-in the Sacred Mysteries.... "Music of the Spheres" Sounds of Aum!
t Mercury on my 2832 Lada 23+ Cancer, then Angel-Vertex.
t Mars on my Vesta 17.25, 46563 Oken 17.30
{Oken = The Divine Love Within; Incarnation of Love within each one of us *Heart*}
H8

(music) O Magnum Mysterium (Morten Lauridsen) [7:20] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7ch7uottHU&list=RDaNyLmy3ml5Q

These are such special-times we're having in the Earth right now. GOD is up to something! May We Be Worthy....

Sometimes I feel like a little pixel in the giant Receiver-Dish network of the Collective. ......

.... Like I said, my transits have been heaven and hell astounding. In the midst of such horrible-ness and yuk-suffering, and feeling that all is loss--- there has been the grace afforded to me of 'such Beauty'. Certainly, God is Just as he supernaturally intervenes in my life. Gently and filled with a kind of otherworldliness, I muse the question how I can feel so ugh-crappy, fallen-apart, and like a discombobulated failure, not knowing one moment from the next these days (of defining-decisions), and 'be' so Blessed?... I say all this with deepest humility, for I am soooo grateful. I am His submitted vessel. His workmanship, as 'broken' as I feel in my life.

I guess I have and have-had some sacred appointments in my life. I shake my head at how God can take such a lovable despised mess... and takes my mess-takes, to turn it ultimately into His Gold and Promise.

My life has had so many pains and twists. Even though I 'feel' these right now, I know that God is making a way for me...

....(((rm is home right now. Backwindow neighbors have been disturbing my rest (with urber-filthy language and loud voices and bullying-arrogant vengeful tones-of-voices for hours--- I was 'too tired' to post here, coz I woulda.
...My noise-cancelling earphones are broken so I cannot be on computer to fully enjoy music, nor use them to block out backyard convos from invading my hypnogogic-consciousness (the state 'as' I finally fall asleep for the night/morning).))) (I may edit this comment after/if I get to write my posts today.).....

So I post this a bit ~weird sleep deprived... (Sorry if I'm meandering a bit.)

So!, I've been getting up to go attend Mass early in the morning. (Found that catholic church on 'Altamira-post' only a short bus ride down a major thoroughfare here. Humorously, needing to sprinkle my consciousness with holier-things after grappling with angry-devils at night.

Getting up early, and going to daily church (right now) is my way of my expressing whole-body commitment to following my Heart and showing the Universe in 'actions' that I'm serious in my yearning and drawing in to find my 'right place' on this earth.

(music) Penelope's Song (Loreena McKennitt, live) [3:06] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T4-nRrh0Rk

lyrics

Now that the time has come
Soon gone is the day
There upon some distant shore
You'll hear me say

Long as the day in the summer time
Deep as the wine dark sea
I'll keep your heart with mine.
Till you come to me.

There like a bird I'd fly
High through the air
Reaching for the sun's full rays
Only to find you there

And in the night when our dreams are still
Or when the wind calls free
I'll keep your heart with mine
Till you come to me

Now that the time has come
Soon gone is the day
There upon some distant shore
You'll hear me say

posted July 22, 2015 12:11 AM            

Sun is now in 29 degrees Cancer, on my 571 Dulcinea... And transiting Dulcinea is with transiting Venus 0 Virgo. Trines transiting 9500 Camelot which has entered my 5th House, and these apply to the arrays of my churchy asteroids.

Transiting Dionysus, my Sacred Spouse, is 22 Cancer 8th, almost to 2832 Lada (music of the spheres) and that 23 Cancer New Moon degree.

Transiting Vesta Aries is almost 12 degrees (and near my 318 Magdalene 15.48 and 3671 Dyonysus 16.24 Aries) and trines transiting Pallas Athene-rx on my Saggi Ascendant 11.30. My natal 9500 Camelot is 15+ Sag (quintiles MC Libra 2.30) where the Nodes almost touch to cross.

So many other asteroids spell stories also, too numerous.

But tonight, while Sun is closing out being in emotional waters at 29 Cancer, and the Moon's Nodes finishing up their work on relationship-oriented Libra (and about to contact exact to my MC/ic), I wanted to honor and thank the Universe/God for my relationships.

I ask for Healing those of us whose hearts have lain so heavy and shredded through the kind of soul-violence that divorce or sudden terminations of long-time partnerships incur...

May we be double-soberly blessed by good honest faithful true companions and friends in this life-- Called according to His Purpose.

posted July 22, 2015 12:15 AM            

(music) Alabaster Box (Cece Winans) [5:24] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5zIOcBiTGg

asteroid 318

Added in the afternoon, continuing with the theme:

(music) If With All Your Hearts (Mendelssohn, from oratorio Elijah) [3:03] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUfyGNwbxYw

(music) Air on a G string (Bach, Ilse de Ziah on solo cello) [3:32] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2yZ_5UPHVA

The Sun and 433 Eros have been consorting with each other in the last decan of Cancer Degrees. They step together over Leo's threshold tonight and tomorrow, along with words-Mercury. I'd had a Sirius realization when Sun Mercury and EROS were crossing my vertex, Uranus.

Ty www.PlanetWaves.fm for your recent podcast on July 14, 2015 titled 'The Pluto Mission,...'
In the last-third of your show [after soundmark 1:00:00], Eric went into a discussion about Saturn-Scorpio, jealousy possessiveness, and 'The Erotic Force'...

Sometimes I listen to things I 'think' don't apply to me, but I situate myself inside saying IF that were to be a true-thing in you, HOW would you feel about it?. omg... And I thought it was 'just' my Venus OPP Scorpio that kept me 'away' from seeking the love I deserve in life. I realized how 'territorial' I may actually feel. If I thought a guy was going to cheat on me, then I exclude that person from coming in to my life. My first ex did sooo many things against our family, our business, etc. But cheating?????? I would have sensed 'the entitlement' factor Eric talked about. ooooh yeah. My evil-side DOES exist afterall!! I found her, I found her! LOL :rolling:

Okay STORY:
My ex-1 was a super-stellium Virgo (and I have to admit was a stud too~~ Oh yes, tell the truth! -- but I'm older now, and a whole lot calmer. So y'all are safe! majorlyLOL. Notta-cougar, but not pastured-yet either.) ~whoah that Eros transit to my Jupiter, and sweet Dulcinea. *fans herself* *I'm just entertaining you here, folks! LOL* yes I'm naughty... badbad.

So anyways... I said ^all that, to say that he and I had a steamy-life together. One morning on his way to work, I kept pursuing him. Finally he says, I HAVE to show up for work! But I just couldn't let go of 'another' kind of insecure feeling I was having too. I blurted it out: I don't know 'why' but I feel that you're on the way out the door to go meet a hooker or prostitute! ... I mean, he had married an almost-nymphe (back-then). (asteroid 875 Nymphe at 0.52 Taurus, just past 5th House Cusp 0.42-- biquintiles my Moon. LOL... my 'feelings' are important!~~ sextiles my Mars 2+ Cancer.--- oh, just bein' too-cute here. Going on....)

So he honestly told me: The reason I wanted to leave 'right now' is that I need to stop by the bank on the way to work, and there's a PlayBoy Bunny Model there until 1pm. !!!

Moral of the Story? ... Oh yeah. *crosses arms* So don't you evuh think you gonna get away with cheat-vibes! if we're serious, coz it's gonna be a woe-man on YOU. ROF,LMAO *think I'm kiddin? raises her eyebrow *hmmmm?* more peels of laughter. (oooo nooooo, Eric!!! You were right on that podcast! *guilt-buzzer sounds* My Saturn-Scorpio and Venus-Taurus need possessiveness-traits therapy!!! and ~oy, all those Cancer placements too??, sheesh. LOL)

Transiting Sun Cancer was 24.53 and 433 EROS was 25.11 Cancer during that hour--- in my 8th House ON my Vertex 24.53! AND Uranus 25.02... oh yes, I DOOO have the printout LOL. Let me tell you, I found that out after-the-fact of knowing the exact positions, especially with Eros. These have been some DEEP soul-stirring days, and very surreal hours come.

How I found it was that I was searching some asteroids (for the 'Briede and Groom' thread in Asteroid Astrology forum). This was prep before listing to PW, then the realization, 'coincidently' as I searched for the asteroids I had around 12 and 13 degrees of Cancer (where Mars 15+ had just transited)-- Those sex-appeal asteroids there natally quintile my Moon, and sextile my Venus, while being trine my Saturn; oh, and they all quincunx my Saggi Asc. http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum28/HTML/001387.html

433 Eros Taurus 21.21 in House 5 Taurus cusp 0.42 (Venus trines that cusp now while she's 0 Virgo).

Natal Eros trines my Moon orb 3, sextiles Vertex 3a, squares Pluto Leo 3a, and opposes Saturn orb 4. My Venus Taurus quintiles Vertex-Uranus 0a orb.

My natal Eros Taurus 21+ borders Russia 20+ Taurus. Russian musical composers are some of the most passionate souls. When I was a teen, I used to play a record album of Russian music for hours and hours.... *sigh* On the other side of my Eros is 17 Thetis (fertility, calm waters; center of Peace & Calm always available), 472 Roma (for my favorite TV Angel), 4708 Melancholia (yes, but not usually with my other stronger aspects), 5963 Kitty (AnneFrank's Journal's name), 259 Aletheia (the ring of truth), and 5477 Holmes (like my favorite Fairy-Grandmother in R&H Cinderella, Celeste Holmes); THEN there's my 6th House Cusp 22.38 Taurus, my city 222.50, 1221 Amor (I like you), 37530 DancingAngel, Bounty, Pandora, Okyrhoe, and h49 Nibiru.

Yes, so many asteroids. I still haven't covered those ones at 12 and 13 Cancer... will save for another post.

So, shout out to T.H. and ChWi... You guys are sooo cool, and you are heart-brothers to me. Quality Souls. In the ethers, you have been contributing to my life in ways that have helped me grow exponentially. I am humbled and so grateful. *Heart*

You know? I should really check a few of my 'feeling too sassi' asteroids?, but I'm going to take a break....

Here are some (innocent!) flirty~songs... To balance out my Devotional Magdalene Day Post.

Eros... Holding-space with. Transiting Pluto on Vega and trine my Venus Taurus. It's all a part of my Heart and devotional feelings in life. Past life in Vesta's Courts? LOL. Devoted, and hopefully being creative to inspire other holy-dancers along their dancing-paths of Life and Love and loves.
*my stilettos. Maestro, please?*

(music) You Belong to Me (Carly Simon) [3:54] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6BalhjGfjM

(music) Play Me (Neil Diamond) [3:52] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HD6O9patDE

posted July 23, 2015 01:24 PM            

(music) Oh! What A Beautiful Morning! (Gordon MacRae, from musical Oklahoma! [2:18] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LdIL5WCso8

I have a stellium of LEO in my Progressed Chart, and they are trine my Progressed Moon Saggi! Oh yeah, feel the Goodness, and par-tay!

Laughing, till I cry later, I'm sure.... But I just wanted to Beautifully Greet that LEO Sun today, with everything in me.

(music) Here Comes The Sun (The Beatles, lyrics) [3:05] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxzEeKfpyIg

posted July 24, 2015 05:05 PM            

Things are sublime in a 'solid' way on one hand, with much happening as far as getting up every morning early in order to attend church. I've been enjoying that very much. Been able to be a source of validation for prayers and energies that this particular flock has been basically Law Of Attracting. So interesting how one hand washes the other as far as energies in the cosmic sphere. I'm having more solidifying of a role I play spiritually as far as supporting leaders who support a cosmic work that will be a boon to us in the world-sense.

Energetically objectively I observe my influence on people who really want to do God's Work on Earth. (I am so humbled.)

Speaking of the 50 or more people who gather for Mass every day, there is a Spirit of Excellence operating in individuals who are in leadership in this place. In this past week in attendance, I feel that I add something to the atmosphere that is like a nutrition or fertilizer for what this group has been praying fervently to manifest.

There was a very strong energetic affirming and validating that I was able to provide a very deeply spiritual (even awake) individual. There's a 'holiness' and pureness in the special-energy that this woman, her husband, and two beautiful children possess. I feel that our meeting and worshipping together is having the effect of amplifying the Spirit and the opening up of a level of Heaven to bring down upon these people to bless and bless them. They just lost one of their longtime priests.... And as I've written before, there are Blessings that shower-down on Beloveds left behind.... These, this congregation, is being Loved and Lavished-upon from on-High. (I feel so grateful and humbled to be able to be 'conscious' this is happening.... Wow. My Destiny-genes *grin* blossoming! joelOsteen, ty)

I spoke to another one last Tuesday. She's been a member there for 57 YEARS!!!!! *jawdrop*. She asked me about myself...

Uncharacteristically wide-open, I told her of pieces of my church-journey.... And also when I mentioned migraines, it seemed as though she can 'pick up' on things--- she told me I was having stress be the cause of the migraines. (Wow, that was so 'clear'-- I knew what she was saying is correct.)

ASIDE------- *Rant Warning* !!!!
---and I told her about my *back yard BULLY-neighbor* and surrounding serious criminal activity right here.

They have some sort of 'recruiters' that come through from time to time, (and these look 'innocent' but I KNOW underneath, of the subculture that influences young people here...

... Hey LL-Faith??? *looking* {And all you Beautiful Believer-Angels who read my posts ...}
Ah, would y'all call-down/Send some of your special SWAT-Angels to my 'hood again? --- Your prayers have been sooo-effective in the past! Needs a boost!
LOL, I mean, I KNOW God listens to me?, but those warring Guardians you seem to be in special-touch with, make those criminal-bullies look puny, okay? O yeah, 'May the woofer-people get so sleepy that they go to bed before I do!!! hahaha Knock 'em out!!! LOL' *Love You, Special-Ones!!*

The crime-recruiters come around to influence young people here, as much as some church-folk go around to gain souls for their religious kingdoms.

Again.....
The female-Bully has been IN my back window EVERY night, knowingly and deliberately keeping me from full sleep. Her tone of voice is angry (and drunk) off and on for HOURS! (as I've mentioned).
---- (I'm sooooo sorry if this sounds nasty, but, it's the real that I must deal with day-in, day-out. I love rose-color glasses? especially when there is nothing I can do about a very-immediate situation that would 'actually' be a move from the fry-pan into worse-situation. So I maintain as MUCH 'balancing' as I can here, because I CANNOT SEE what/where else to turn. .... {ewwww, there goes one of their woofer-cars-- shaking stuff--- wow, everything is so magnified with my sound-triggered migraine and sleep-deprived triggered migraine. Double-whammying? Gosh, I hope this post is going to be alright and make sense!... ... just went to check on the back-window? and yep, there she is.
... I asked rm this morning if he would PLEASE ask the manager to intervene and make her move her party-convo to her own back-patio inside of her front door (which is my backwindow). But I very seriously don't think he'll do that?... One of those things where if it's not happening to HIM, then 'how can it be happening?' .... But then, he DOES surprise me at times with some ferocious moves on the authority he has as the lease-holder. (I am not on the lease, so my presence here is actually viewed as limbo. Even if I've been here 8 years, without an adequate income, I cannot 'qualify' myself to BE on the lease.... And this is a BAD PLACE for me, anyways. )

Oh gosh... wander, wander, wander...

I know I sound angry here, and in a solid way I'm actually deeply calm-- just a bit frightened by my shaking-symptoms. I've sorta had way-enough with these people.

I want NOTHING interfering with MY future which is solid and at-hand right now.

What made things hard too, is that rm has been being affected too, in his own way..... (Seems he psychically may be picking up on 'bright spots' for me, almost unconsciously sensing and trying to defeat what hope there is? ~~ I hope I'm describing that correctly. It's one of those ~weird-strange negative things that hit AT THE SAME TIME that my Opportunities come knocking....

I want to ask my Beautiful souls out there to NOT let me fall. Please help me, where I can't help myself, or where I'm not-seeing?... I am DETERMINED to rise up from here, OUT of here. ON to self-sufficiency and a NEW HEALTH. --- Like I said, I've been getting up every single day same time, in spite of whether I slept or not. I am SERIOUS about my Future. Please help me where I may be missing pieces. I throw myself on that altar of asking for mercy--- I'm do NOT want to miss my Portal. I AM 'doing it'... And I will make it!!... Just, please help in what way you are clearly moved to-- not one step too soon or too late, but right on time..... My Future is Good.

So anyways.... rm came home late and unexpectedly the other night because his company asked him to do an hour of overtime (which he vehemently despises. I think he would quit in almost a heartbeat. He doesn't realize how 'lucky' he is!!! It's almost stupid------ And, I ask the Lord, 'where am I being stupid?'.... Lord, please help me 'see' the door out of this, and don't let me be too late. PRESERVE my Health, PLEASEEEEE. *bawling my eyes out* .... You know, when things are good here?, they are SOOO excellent! And I feel strong, and happy, and moving onwards with a solidity and strength and wholeness of being.... Then, the vulnerability sets in (after the sleep-dep and overstimVibeys) and I melt into this stupid-sheat 'trapped' feeling. I'm soooo mad at myself, dammit. LOL... okay. *wipes snot*... Going on.

{O yeah, you're all inside my head/emos right now--- and you would hardly see or know of this if you were a person right here. Isn't it so ~weird to post in writing---when I am in the skinny-narrow-slit* of seeing.
ADDED---- (Moon in Scorpio* to my Saturn Scorpio!!! Just realized it, folks!-- This is 'old' energy I'm processing right now. Old crap, from my Saturn-Return-- had it while my Progressed Moon was in Scorpio too! And WHILE we were having SCORPIO eclipses. oh yes, 'all at once'!!!
Wafts of past here.... *yay, makes me feel better now* I've got Saturn Scorpio transit & eclipses-PTSD *LMAO!!!* )

The Body, my body, and its ability to be rested and at peace--- makes the difference between success and a launch, or self-failing. God please, do not allow myself to fail... Let me Win. And I already do ALSO "feel" like a winner. .... I have come this far--- Do not let my enemy triumph over me. BRING ME across the Beautiful barrier here INTO realizing MY Future, and the futures of those whose OWN Dreams depend on ME making my own goals.

New Topic
..... I'm thinking about a friend on the other coast that has a textbook he's been progressing on, but has also fallen on some ~weird hard times? If there were some way I could assist you, I want you to know that I'd love to be helpful!
As I've tried to mention to you back that last ~Thanksiving/Newyears, I think there's a wonderful application for your original-work. I'd like to see you fulfill YOUR Dream. I think you and your work is undergoing a strange-kind of transformation. It's MORE than you think it is... ..... If you were to need a special buddy who 'maybe' could support your life's ideas and work, please ask? (I don't know, because dude, you never called me? duh? LOL--- I'd like to expound on an idea for you, but I won't know if it applies unless there's a contact.... As I said, you already know how to reach me. I have 'no money'... Can't even afford a friggin cell phone here, or pair of sneakers~~ sheesh-truth. *Air of Independent-Wealthiness here* And YOU may be in that situ also.
But if there were a way to help you 'materialize' your book/work/ app-idea, it would bless ME to help 'you' get economically thriving and sufficient--, even when I am not, ~adding yet.
Something in me hates seeing someone that-talented, and on the precipice of seeing his life coming into a new kind of strange-success beyond-his-imaginations, go to some kind of funky inner place. Stay Strong, and Stay Deep, Brother.
There may be digging and hard-spaces that you're birthing and excavating through.. There IS a purpose here-- and I see you getting freed. You have not come this far without a reason. And I know that you know that already--- sometimes it's just good to hear what the heart already knows.
...*Adding, you're an awesome Friend, and Loving BEing, and as you've sense rightly before, my heart is mutual. :music: 'Who knows what tomorrow brings'
...What I think would be down-right practical and important (in a way) is that you come to a closer completion of that book? It would bless my heart to see what happens with your future. Whatever you decide on, with your Guides, I'll Trust-- whether that's a yea, an almost, or a stop.

I was very excited to hear Barbara Goldsmith's FULL MOON in Aquarius, and her JUPITER through Virgo. Barb... I admire the way you are so strong after all you'd been through. You are soooo right on. I hear and feel you. Thankyou so much for awesome words. I resonate....

Dare to be DAFT!! :laughing: :roll:

(topic) Full Moon in Aquarius, July 31st (Barbara Goldsmith, astrologer) [7:25] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isH1jXunGVY

Very right-on!!
(topic) JUPITER into Virgo (Barbara Goldsmith, astrologer) [12:24] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nS_a3tn8l0

To finish
rm flipped out that I had a religious-show on TV when he opened the door of our apartment to walk in after 10pm.
wha????? That was COMPLETELY undeserved and totally uncalled for---
...I felt this hot burst come up inside me, and at the same time, I instantly *knew* 'what' this was (the strike of the transit!!), and acted consciously to REFUSE to act-out and lash-back,----- WHICH my flesh would have relished doing and indulging in at that very-strong moment.

But like the children's MisterRogers song--- I can stop stop stop. THANK you God! for helping me through that moment, NOT to lash back out at this man,... who came in tired and frustrated, himself.

.... We are all a bit on gnarly-edges these days, with Mars SQUARE URANUS. And I wish to take the HIGHER road in my manifesting my dreams.

Lord! Heal my Soul, my Body, my Emotions, my Situation, my Circumstances..... Please ---- I Praise You O God, YOU are Gold to me... Let me serve you with my WHOLE heart, my WHOLE life... Let nothing come inbetween me and your Calling Purpose. God have Mercy....

'oy yes, sleep-deprived?? strangeness, some sad in me, some mad in me. Bless it all!-- It will work to Good.

This WHOLE CHART right now, right this weekend-even, is SOOOOO freakin' one-time PIVOTAL--- The "timing" of everything is SOOOOOO FREAKIN' SURREAL that (humorous) if Jesus is coming again soon?, He IS 'using me'... And I cry tears of such Joy at SEEING 'the Astrology BE this-surreal!!!!! in coincidences---- omg.

So anyways-somemore.....
I've been practicing ACTIONS in my Intentions. Every morning for a week now, I've arisen at 6 am in order to physically show-up at church.
(And been doing this in spite of the angry-bully beotch in my back window... At 1:05am today, I opened that window and made her aware of Time, but she laughed and mocked me, got worse and louder-still. I refused to give in to wanting to rant at her, and instead, I redirected my energy.
-- I decided it would be okay that I didn't sleep. I got up to do some practical chores (laundry) instead.
By the time 3 am came, my sleepiness began to overtake me. I KNEW I could sleep now, no matter what she was doing--- but she had stopped, so that was extra-good.

So, I am sleep-knocked again, and I'm sitting here with everything shaking-shivering in my body from 'hood and mechanical-acoustics right now. *I'm repeating myself*

This is magnified BECAUSE of the sleep-condition and CONSTANT aggravation from somewhere inside this 'hood and building. They are getting sooo bold--- hard-drug dealers, etc. I sure hope that SWAT-Team gets'em soon, heh heh! (See that? More evil-ME?...)

Last night, I actually felt soooo angry with them. But!... There are times where anger does NO one any good, except to add extra-reverberations to the problem and not contributing to the solution. :heart: :bheart: ....

And I can see now that this post may turn out to meander a bit.... I'm soooo sorry.

I started out good this morning, and after church came back home here, I looked forward to working at pulling together some posts I'd planned....in spite of several hours or so of sleep. But as I sat here, I got way too sleepy.

Tried to nap, and it was IMPOSSIBLE!!!

Toooo vibey. So, this is my IMPERFECT communication today, in an imperfect post.
I tend to scare my-own-self when my body feels this way.... I believe some people ARE 'getting me' now, and I am soooo relieved. I want to improve.... and I feel myself growing exponentially.

Soaking in my own negativity is Tricky because it causes SUCH DISTRESS (sin or worry, compounds everything).

Like I said, I'm okay otherwise.... But O M G !!! The SHAKING right now, is out of this world!!!) (LOL/almost~~ I'm going to have to find me some swat-team music. .. uh, nevermind.)

Okay... Things are a bit stiller right now, so yay (for now).

posted July 25, 2015 01:20 PM            

Last night I got some sleep. I awoke at my time to get a shower and scoot off to church. There was a Mass listed in the bulletin, but no one showed up. That was okay for me though, because the sanctuary was open, and I spent the morning in intercessory prayers for that church, for all the people I love so much in my life (meaning, those with whom I have an etheric relationship with here-- All of you-- It's so surprising how connected we are in and to the Collective.)...

It felt sooooo good to go somewhere, in order to pray like that. I usually pray wherever I am, and as the Spirit tugs on me. But to do this in a devotional type physical way like this is very transformative for me right now. I 'needed' to feel some kind of connection physically-spiritually to a group right now. I don't know if these 'catholics' really know what has come upon them here? But I am communing with the over-Spirit of that church, and praying the prayers of God's Will for them, and agreeing in Spirit for them for God to protect their lambs, protect their families, nurture and feed the security and womb and sanctity of 'family'... molecular and Spiritual. May God richly bless these folk. There must have been SOME kind of prayers that were prayed there, because I don't enter people's lives casually. There is usually a deep and profound reason why I am drawn towards a circle of people. It is usually involved with nurturing a profound Love and Hunger for intimacy with God-Himself, and for God's will to nurture care and healing for earthly things.

Yes, God calls people together and encircles them in His Deepest Loving Care.

So... on my walk towards the church building, I had been focusing on what kind of intention there would be. I had already done initial prayers. While I walked, I think I heard something say to me that my prayers for myself were staying up too high-- meaning that I wasn't asking God to manifest 'material' things for me. That my Heart was towards helping other people manifest, but.... 'what' is it that I would want God to do for ME?.... I walked astonished for a while. Thinking about this counsel, in the backdrop of my next hours.

I went into the church, found no Mass, but the doors HAD been opened by 'someone' (the maintenance worker guy). Alone, I relished the time there, being on sacred ground (and of course, anywhere 'we' are God IS, and ALL ground is sanctified because 'we' have His Spirit and walk it.... But I'm talking about Ritual, and Sanctified Dedicated Soils and Buildings... That had GOD First in mind, and the ministering to the Spirit of God, and the health and holiness of a people who would enter its Doors and attend at its Sanctuary.

After almost two hours, I noticed people beginning to come. Flowers. I learned that there was a Memorial Service being prepared, and I sensed the atmosphere, and the mourning grief. I embraced the two women, and I thank God for being there, to hold them, to add my condolences to minister to their brokenness. Again, where there is a death, there can be a parallel blessing.... for that soul's departure can also mean that gifts are released also. Whatever 'song' that missed being expressed or released, is rained down upon the mourners and those who Care for them. .... Blessed Are Those Who Mourn---- for they shall be Comforted. Spirit Be with these today, as their Loved one gets celebrated. Shower them with consolations... God Cares for the Brokenhearted.

So, I was posed with the 'personal' question 'in the Spirit'. If GOD were to do something for 'me'--- I'm talking a 'selfish' me-alone no-one-else gets benefits, just-me kind of prayer or manifestation. If it were just selfish-me prayer, what would I/me Want?

I was so impressed by the two astrovids in above post....

what TOTALLY DAFT thing would I do, if the opportunity totally-unexpected could magically come?

If finances were not a concern? And I weren't worried anymore about the circumstances or situations of OTHER's whom I love? ... I would put my bins (binders of research, journals) in a storage unit (prepared for shipping), I would get on a plane, and go to England to 'find out' what-it-is that is drawing me towards itself right now. I know there is healing there, but there's some kind of haunting-drawing spirit that is trying to connect with me from that place. I don't know if this is a past-life or present life thing....

I would want to commune with something that's going on right there now. I don't know if its religious-astronomical or what? But there is something in the ~strange there.

So...... Maybe it was important for me to express this today, right now. In a way, it's not important that this is 'real' or not? But it's something I needed to express-- today, now.

I used to belong to a small healing group back in San Francisco days (late 1970s/early 1980s). I remember 'miracles' being prayed for. The question was always, 'what would it "feel" like in your body and around you right now if your miracle came true?'

It wouldn't matter whether or not the miracle happened 'in that moment'-- what was important was that you FEEL 'what it would feel like' if it were to have ALREADY manifested and be really True....

posted July 26, 2015 10:19 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
I love that: What would you do if money were not an issue?

---

I would have been long-gone from here. Would have visited certain areas, united with various people... bonding, uplifting.

I'd probably would have met some cool astrology and spiritual people, helping them with projects, networking with spiritual people, knitting some of that together, (helping it fuse by my energy).

I would have met some asteroids people, spent the day with them-- maybe had a party where I'd have all these together for deep talks.

And I would have traveled out to various 'energy' sites to 'connect' with lands/people... Inside I feel that there are places my spirit-being wants to go and do some silent merge-time with.

Sorta like recently going to that church and having a contemplative type series of 'visits' with the place's spirit... The sense of this is so strange-- but I feel it. When I've been 'obedient' to certain energy-calls like that in the past (when I had a way of travelling), it's been richening and important for later on.... Right place, right time.

Today I went to the big congregation masses (as opposed to the daily mass small church group). It's heavily Hispanic here, and with the elderly people, I love to look into their faces. So Beautifully gracefully olden world. I've missed having the presence of grandparents in my life, and seeing the very old here in their wheel chairs and walkers, surrounded by their families, was bittersweet experience for me.

As a few elders in wheelchairs were in line to shake hands with the priest after church, I noticed that the holy water bowl was too far out of reach to them. I dipped my hand into the water, and touched their hand. We did the sign of the cross together and satisfaction and joy was on this one man's face. He lit up with awareness as though we had known each other forever.

We may not be able to communicate with our language barrier, but with the few words we did know, we related with friendly sounds, touch, smiles, ... and loving eyes.

posted July 27, 2015 02:49 PM            

Sometimes I feel an element of ~creepySad, because a part of me thinks, o no, I'm must be dying? ... But no, it's that I'm evolving, and I'm sensitive, uber-sensitive and soooooooooo lucky to be experiencing these spiritual lifts and shows WHILE connected to the earth.

I had seen by my solarReturn chart this year that I would be in the 'bubble-world' of a more other-worldly bent. Instead of being too overly-concerned with this, I went ahead and gave myself 'permission' to do completely embrace that happening, (and re-permissioned myself this past weekend) to just 'go ahead' and 'trust'... to explore those Inspiring and Imaginative things that the Universe is showing, opening, to me now.

It may serve the Collective in some Beautiful way... It's like I don't want to stray or to go that much afar in the energies?, but maybe this was supposed to happen. I'm your liminal-spaces scout for your Adventures, while you still have me here a while.... *intercom* So relax, while I break-open Worlds for you, in your Imagination and Sense-realms.

I want to assure that I DO still have myself tethered to this world, (and I've BEGGED God to please keep my 'hooders music-woofers at tolerable levels for me over these next days). So!, please don't worry that I've gone insane or anything like that-- (I've already processed that concern, and I KNOW I'm okay-- solid. This is just a bit 'unusual' for regular-folk?... But then, it TAKES "the unique" to have stayed with and survived reading 29 pages of my strange and real life, anyways. So kudos!)

The 'metaphysical' realms, the Supernatural God-Realms, have been raining down in Imaginative and real-world Consciousness right now. {{I am sooo lucky to have things lined up the way they have, 'for such a Time as this'.}}

Asteroids...
~~ I'll have to check asteroid 17744 Jodiefoster later, LOL. {Movie: Contact} (my placement is Jodiefoster Scorpio 9.45... with 2244 Tesla 9.50, 974 Lioba {dreams, 'dream Child'}, and 33 POLYHYMNIA Scorpio 10.0'56"rx... (All these are retrog, btw)... Scorpio House 11. (and 12!).

I intellectually know too that transiting VESTA in Aries is ~probably about to contact my 1541 Estonia Aries 13.09' (ref the music-world phenomenon festival of Oneness in a supernatural mixing of people and their Heart), and 2365 Interkosmos Aries 13.27' (a Bridge between two worlds). ... After that, I deal with "systems" when Vesta approaches Typhon at 14.37, but then it magnificently Presents 318 Magdelena 15.48, 213 Lilaea 16.13, 3671 Dionysus (Sacred Spouse)... House 4 Aries, cusp is 2.30... and the North and South Nodes make contact today/tomorrow.

{{Also, it's my Secondary-Progressed Sun Birthday, tomorrow!! at 5+ LEO *grin*-- I'll have to think-up a good 2P Song that, too.}}

I usually check the status of all these asteroids before posting, but then too, that's how I can 'get lost' in the Cosmos and too much time goes by.

continue....
Making supra-supernatural Contact.. Like the Movie.... So Beautiful, so Beautiful (are words she spoke), with the news from space-vantage point and observation that We Make It. We DO survive-Win, but then 'the work' of mixing all that together begins.

It's my own hope that we DO or HAVE already been in the Mixing-stage, and that NOW will be a time of really SOLIDLY finding out 'how' that manifestation happens, 'how' to apply those Solutions-- to Heal our Earth, Heal Ourselves, Heal our Pasts, Heal our Presents, Infuse the Future with the Blessings we find in-the-NOW.

God, I thank you for Us, for Friends, for the Spiritual Workers, for the Networks, for the busyness, and the Businesses.

For the churches, Lord-- Bless them, Increase your Light, bring everyone UP a notch and Reveal Yourself to them....

I pray for the little-church daily-Mass congregation that You've led me to, in this past week or so. Give them special Presence... Open their Understanding 'just because' I'm asking You for it, Dear Lord.

Let there BE a New Explosion of Light in the World. Light of Your Presence, Light of Your Glory! Let this Light Absolutely-Infuse the Earth in a way never known before-- Soak and bless everything that dwells therein with Your Glory. You are Beautiful O God.

BE with each one of us, whatever creed philosophy, or belief or nonbelief system we find ourselves in..... Let EACH PERSON "receive" whatever-it-is-to-them, to "have" a Direct-Experience with You, Your Spirit, Your Light, Your Being.

Thank you Lord, we just thank you for Being Who You ARE.

Okay, Little Incense Guy?
Where are you? O there, you cute-little are...

*page 9 in the hymnal* *grin*

So, okay.... My ?Guidance DID already communicate for me to go ahead and 'invest' emotionally in these images God provides me. The innerMovies innerMotions I've been having. (And my Travel-Saint friend validated that to me, without his knowing.)

And it was sooooo strange in church this morning...

The dear pastor is very much an elderly man, a handsome one. I can tell he is the crispy old-school type of catholic priest. He wants the very-Best for his flock and is rightly-concerned viewing the types of things going on now as far as shadows are concerned.

But, I think he also has a spiritual-sensing of the particular Open Heaven that dawns in the Atmosphere right now.

Today, one of the readings (Exodus) was about Moses(leader) coming down off the mountain and finding that Aaron (co-leader) had 'allowed' the faithless people to build a calf-Idol out of Gold while he was up on the mountain with God (receiving the 10-Commandments).

And throughout my experience this morning (and past week) I'm 'hearing' in the spirit and seeing so many parallels communicated to me regarding Jesus in his worldly leadership as well as spiritual-divine one... Things I've never-ever seen or considered before. (Heh, I was sitting there at times scribbling away in my little notebook!)

So anyway! Just before the priest gave his final blessing-dismissal, he went into a sidebar of nostalgic reveries of sorts... Described how the readings in Exodus are sooo Alive to him, BECAUSE of seeing the MOVIE, "The Ten Commandments" as a youth.

He went on and almost animated voice-replayed certain parts of the movie. (I absolutely loved this!) This is a precious precious feisty non-nonsense crusty white-haired Beautiful Soul... He went on and on, and it was Alive. I could SEE every single movie clip he mentioned played out in the memory of the Movie....

Fact too is that last year some time, the clip of Moses climbing up on top of that rock to split the Red Sea was extremely vivid to me.

One of the tribesmen had run up to Moses (in the movie) and told Moses, Get back up on that rock and hold up your staff-- The people need to SEE you. They are encouraged to move forward while seeing you Standing UP there on that Rock... !

("Take a Stand"? hmmmm, What's that asteroid...
My asteroid 15760 'QB1' *grin* is Aqua 8.21"...
After 251 Sophia Aqua 7.13 and 643 Scheherazade (~1,000 Veils) Aquarius 7.41 (Both these Standing-Still (SR) in my chart.) In Capricorn House 2. Also nearby I have Chiron, Hekate, and Pholus at 5, and 6+ degrees. Then 484 Pittsburghia Aquarius 7.26 (MAH}seriousness, meaning-business, intensity of purpose, passion, capitalism, and 'smoking'??... well, at least the Incense kind is right now! "Roses" LOL)
[ADDED] These trine my Hygeia Libra 7.50 and 40 Harmonia 7.55 Libra, 10th House; and my Sun Gemmy 7.50'50" in the 6th).

So..... I'm going to be posting my ~creepy past-lifey type things of songs, energies, and Love and love in the next separate song-postings these next days. It's a Cosmic Marriage Supper ... Venus Retrograding.

I wish many-blessings on every Heart that journeys with me, who read my posts. I Love you so much, in The Spirit and ~otherwise.

Also in note,
God Rest the Soul of Bobbi Kristina Brown who died at age 22 yesterday... to Join Her Beautiful-Souled mama in the Heavenly realms. So tragic. Prayers for the family and extendeds... {{aww Bobbi}} RIP

posted July 27, 2015 03:33 PM            

(music) Moonshadow (Cat Stevens, lyrics) [2:50] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPazGVuBXmY

(music) Born Again (Billy Preston & Syreeta, lyrics) [3:37] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AlFcrPvOwA

...

posted July 27, 2015 04:44 PM            

+

For HEALING~ Past Loves, Past Romances, Broken Marriages, Broken Hearts, every Broken or Failed Contract, for Past Lovers, and a Sense of ParadiseLost...

For every wound with sense of Never-makin'-it, and of atmospheres heavy-laden with shadows and darks-of-things notPossible...

It will, and can be Possible to Heal and be made Better.

(music) This Nearly Was Mine (R&H South Pacific, Jose Carreras sings) [3:07] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7B9g477CxAI

This is a minister whose spouse had died-- Made this in tribute, recognizing in retrospect her contribution to his life that enabled him to brought to this Moment, and that of his girls.

Representing 'Death of a spouse, or a longtime partner-friend'

(music) Never Would Have Made It (Martin Sapp, lyrics) [3:53] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJIxOv5rbNU

ADDED--- Memorial 650p
For those who have suffered a Loss of a Child. For Lost or Broken Relationships with Children or Parents. For anyone who has lost someone close, due to death by that one's own hand, deliberate or accidental (Bobbi, my cousin Michael, add-?your). Anyone Missed...

Thank you for your Life. And Thank You for the Precious Lives of the ones who live in the Now...

posted July 27, 2015 05:55 PM            

May Every Gift be Clarified, Increased, and Anointed! ---

For All who work on videos and television and radio and films, and the Internet; for every Publisher, writer, manuscript, playwrights, etc

For All INCLUSIVE who with All Their Heart dream work or play (the boys & girls, big and little), who do it in order to Make A Difference ....

Lovingly-- You do, You are Beautiful, and you Can!

That together, we'll find the Horizons Beyond what we could ever hope for, think about, or even Imagine.....

^ ^

(music) On A Clear Day (Shirley Bassey, 1973 TV Special) [4:02] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrsRQs_RXnE

posted July 28, 2015 05:38 PM            

(music) Jesu, Joy Of Man's Desiring (Cloe Agnew) [4:43] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wflStAIGH-I

Today is my Secondary-Progressed Sun's Birthday LEO 5.15, the transiting nodes are ON my MC/IC Libra/Aries. The Nodes will be slipping into my 9th/3rd axis, Jupiter is already in my H9 with Venus. Mars is going to be on my Vertex 24+Cancer by Friday for the Full Moon.

I've been searching and digging deep about things, and 'going with the flow' of my reveries and to observe things consciously as I knew this all had important information to give me.

Venus Retrograde in my 9th and 8th houses is bringing up past life and Past Life incarnational issues. I feel it's fascinating how I found that church, and the sanctuary is decorated the way it is-- because it's evoking many associative memories for me.

I was going to make a LONG post here, but I feel more-private right now.

Suffice it to say.... Today is the anniversary of my being rejected from a community where I applied to become a nun. I had gone through the postulant processing for 6 months, was about to take the first set of vows (Aug11,?81), and on JULY 28th (today's date) I had a stress heartattack (I had walked a few miles during the 'heat of the day' in a heat wave where they were warning people. (They had a dip-in, dip-out process of entering the monastery, and I worked at the stock brokerage during that time.) So, I just 'had to go to work' the next day, and I guess that from walking in the heat wave, and the stress of this major life decision I was about to make, the 'stress conditions' got to me. At this point they said they couldn't take me if I had a heart condition because they didn't 'want' a sick nun.

. . . .

This is bringing up issues for me... I've been feeling sooo entirely crappy, almost so convinced that something has to be very very wrong. ....... Well, I DO know that part of this is 'my environment' right now, and I keep assuring self that I feel much-better when things are 'right', so this worry I have is most-likely based on this real-thing. (I go to the neurologist tomorrow for answers about the MRI I went through a few weeks ago.)

But I've been like ~being calm, yet so pressured within, very excited to think that I could possibly move and have a little~job or something? ... And feeling crappy, I went to just lay-down horizontal for ten minutes around 3pm. That's when it 'hit'... I recalled that today was the day 'I failed' ....

The catholic church community "shunned me" after that. It was one of the deepest hurts I'd had. They acted as though I didn't exist anymore. They failed to make eye-contacts with me, nor did they want to shake my hand after Mass. There was such a void that appeared in my soul, in my life. I had climbed up the ladder at the stock brokerage. I was handling the wealth of (on my floor) some of the richest persons in usa..... and it all crumbled. I felt like roadkill, like the fluff-remains of rotted-gone dusted flesh....

So. Today is revelation day, in terms of drawing pieces of my past together that I had had stored away in a more compartmentalized manner. I'm really enjoying my time at this little church, and trying to remember NOT to hide my light under the bushel. There's a tendency to want to 'look cool' and not look holy, look 'too religious'.... But I really like what BarbG had said about this Full Moon--- She encouraged 'to heck with what OTHER people think'. Yah. You, be YOU. ME, be me....

Gosh, *teary eyed*. It's so surprising how there can be hurty hurts in places it didn't occur to look at.

So, I guess in a way, I'm dealing here with 'faults' that were not really bona fide faults. I've been so nervous about 'missing out' my opportunity (any opportunity) that would happen for me. I don't want to miss this. I don't want to miss this.... I DO want to go on with my life, AND thank you for everyone who's been sooooo encouraging. {{ }}

I love TD Jakes recent TV series on "Destiny" ... If you're in leadership or thinking you may be, THIS is 'good' to listen to. So grounding.

So here I am. Your early~failed nunly type person, dealing with this ~strange pain. (You all have been soooo patient with me. Ty with ALL my Life!) ...

Heh, Icecream truck going by plays Christmas songs. *bawls her eyes out now*

The Sun LEO during the Full Moon Aquarius is ON my asteroid 1288 SANTA...
Also 234 Barbara, 648 isis-Transpluto, and 53 Kalypso {the goddess of Silence}. The Moon will be a few degrees past my Chiron-rx Aqua 5.19' H2[Capr]... But so fascinating is that the name-asteroid of the Foundress of the Order I almost joined is there just before it, 3449 in Aqua 4.58 Stationing Retro at 3".... Health asteroid 1027 Aesculapia-rx is there at Aqua 4.52' {... ruthless drive to 'Survive'; and, 'weakness in the Body'}.

So how shall I close here?... Beautiful Julie Andrews... Such an inspiring almost-nun.

posted July 28, 2015 06:54 PM            

(music) Adagio for Strings (Samuel Barber 1910-1981, Leonard Slatkin conductor, Detroit Symphony Orchestra) [8:47] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcflwUYYoXk

posted July 30, 2015 01:25 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
Rejection seems bad at the time, but I think it can be a Blessing.

---

Yes Randall.... and I had a really good day yesterday, but woke up in a sadness-state.

I really appreciate the SEDNA email I got from Darkstar Astrology. Sedna deals with a kind of victimization-state. I have this prominent in my chart.

It's part of a 25+-degree grand-cardinal cross in my chart involving Neptune10th-Uranus8th-Sedna4th-Ceres2nd. Transiting Mars Cancer at 23-24 today energizes my Vertex, with Uranus and within orb of my Jupiter, all in Cancer, in my 8th House... and we are approaching the Full Moon in Aquarius tomorrow, which basically is on my Chiron-Aqua in 2nd. ... I've been "feeling" my wounds of past family. Transiting Saturn Scorpio at degree of my paternal grandmother's Sun.

Here's a song for Grandmothers, and Moons, and a Cancer House 8th, and the Virgo Moon 24.56' intercepted in my 9th House --

(music) Grandmother Moon (Eleanor Daley, composer; performed by the University of Hawaii at Manoa Chamber Singers, November 2010; Rachel Samet, conductor) [4:56] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUKUFztZnOA

This Scorpio Grandmother loved me so much. If there was ever a person who Loved Me unconditionally, I'd say she was the only one from whom I had ever experienced such a thing. Of course, my relationship with her automatically put me at odds with my mother, as my mom hated her. And thing is? I had many of my Grandmother's personality nuances, without having a lot of time with her. (Was one of the last things I heard my father say to me about myself. And actually, he liked being reminded of her... at least it sounded like that, at the time.)

This Grandmother had also had a room built on to her house (in NewEngland usa), for my Monsignor Uncle. A 'monsignor' is a spiritual designation in the catholic church for priests. (Puts them on the responsibility level of a kind of Bishop, but in the church they can only have ONE Bishop over a group of parishes or area at a time.)

My uncle wasn't just the Rev. Father G. He was a super-Pastor over two parish-systems there. (He died sometime in the 1990s, I think. ~~ I don't know, I've been estranged from the entire f.o.o. and extendeds since that period. -- So in a way, my talking about them is a nostalgia-thing, for 'releasing' intention under the Healing Mercies of God and the Universal Forces.)

He was the one who performed my baptism during that FM eclipse, 14Sag, on June 5, 1955. He had a say in choosing my name, also! My parents had chosen hyphenated two first names-- but he told them that just ONE saint is good enough for me. {*humorously* Robbed! I tell you, robbed!!! LOL} The name that got dropped from its hyphenation? is ON my intercepted Moon... hmmm, interesting. I 'socially' go by a nickname that is a derivative of that dropped name, even though I'll answer to both... and 'Mirage' too ... )

I had had a series of three dreams with this grandmother in it, in the late '80s I think, after she died. I became "lucid" in the third (and unknowingly the final-contact) one. I said to her, Memere, I know you're dead, but why is it I can 'feel' you hugging me. I felt sooo sad. (She wasn't a demonstrative-person when she was alive, so the 'hug' was unusual for her.)

Her answer, in the lucid-dream? Because you've got Bones... She disappeared after that, and I never had another instance of dream-visitation with her.

I like what KG said, that Saturn wants our Success. It is 'cutting down to the Bone-marrow', the DNA-memory.

I tend to compartmentalize things because there are some things I can't seem to be able to change, so rather than allowing this to TOTALLY cut me off from 'dreaming' that I still have Hope and Possibility, I let-myself go ahead and indulge here...in my songs, in my writings about my life. But if you want to discuss someone sorta-stuckish in real-reality?, then I want you to know that I have daily reminders (~like, 24/7 sometimes) of my 'limitations'... If I 'stay there'?, I'm doomed.

I don't have a crystal-clear destination point, but I'm still OPEN to Possibility. I need concrete help with choosing one direction, and making solid plans towards it. (I sorta shudder at the transits I'm facing, but that may be because I'm only seeing the super-narrow, when I really need to see MORE of what's there. Or, what "there" will involve, so that I can better-choose. This doomy-cloudthing is not-good....

I woke up this morning so saddish, feeling the Sedna-forces. I don't deserve another shipwreck in my life (Sedna's dad deliberately cut her off to save his own skin.) I will Live and not Die, and declare the works of the Lord. scripture Psalm 118:17.

With Ceres moving backwards 0-Aqua to Capricorn 29, and back to my natal-Ceres 25+ again (to energize cardinal-cross), I want to surpass and HEAL that 'old-mother' voice of dying and doom inside me, and the 'voices of my daughters' who expected (almost demanded) me to suic by now (sad, per our last comms). {{I 'break' those words, and everything in the details of that evil thought-form, inJ. Including the after-effects of the death of my cousin, who did. I offer those up to God right now, for releasing... And anyone reading this post, who has had parallel-experiences. WE will HEAL, and Live-long and feel 'wellness' into our ripe old ages.}}

With Pallas in Sag, moving retro ON my Ascendant now, and back to H12, then soon turn around again-- I want to beat-out my own mental-creative fears. Fears of having any kind of success in life that would benefit me--, AS WELL as the Collective. (my placement Pallas-rx Sag 21.50 conj RasAlhague 21.50, cj 5731 ZEUS-rx 21.9' Sag, House 1). This would mean 'breaking out of the mindset of 'the rules for girls' as imprinted into my emotional-physical well-being by my Family of Origin... the RULES that my father, brothers, and male & female relatives all limited me by, during those growing-up years and as a runaway young adult.

With Juno in Virgo, travelling in my H9 squaring this Pallas ON my Sag Ascendant, and with Juno Virgo soon sextiling my Saturn-rx Scorpio 16+ H11, I want to re-set Time... Clear and Evolve my dreams, overcome self-doubts, and step into a Possible destiny for me... One where I MORE than just stay alive.

My dad had his Sun-Jupiter a degree from my Juno-rx Scorpio H11 4+.

... I will rise up, with respect and love due him, and dispel shadows that his Sun-Jupiter formed around me, and marriage, and success-- especially in groups. My Light for this Time, is to SHINE correctly.

Time to re-birth with the dream that would be hidden in the recess of my own-head, that would complement my Beautiful Tribe, and move as one within my soul-group beyond whatever limitations are stemming-- from what my father~~ who honestly didn't know better ~~ thought was 'best' for me then. I need a change of leadership. A course reset.

His reasoning for not 'educating' a girl, was that she was going to get-married and pregnant, so that makes it a waste to spend money on an education for a woman,-- in HIS and my mother's 'old fashion' backwards, harming ways. The whole while in college (which I came up to graduation with two degrees and failed to achieve) I was aware of the ~creepy sense that I didn't belong there-- I was 'taking up the space' and displacing someone else that deserved it more.... like a male.

That 'individuating' answer to them?, is defiantly 'NOT'-- asteroid 2857, which power to do I have available to use at my disposal at 28.44 Pisces interc-H3Aqua, next to my mother's name-asteroid 28.50 Pisces, and f.s.Scheat *grin* 28.45 Pisces... My P.o.Spirit (Sun) is 28.35 Pisces.
... t-Saturn retro 28+ Scorpio TRINES it right now.
... t-Jupiter LEO 27+ on my asteroid 37452 Spirit, 2483 Guinevere (quintile Lancelot Taurus 5th conj w Venus orb ?~3 *LOL*), h42 Zeus, and 763 Cupido...) -- to touch 208 Lacrimosa 28.13 LEO (tears, sorrow, sadness, tragedy, suffering, orderals, wailing, regret, empathy... MaH).

On August 1st, after the Full Moon Aquarius 7.56, Saturn goes Direct, finishing Scorpio (for another 30 years). Saturn enters back into Sagittarius, and moves back into an opposition with my Sun, while Neptune retrogrades closer to an exact squaring of my Sun again.

Yes... Time for a re-set of Mind, Body, and the Healing of the Soul... And transiting Saturn 28+ retro, due to turn direct (in my 12th House), wants Success. Ty Lord-of-Time, for the opportunity to Heal and continue on-course for positive changes, and healing in my Beautiful Tribe.

(music) Grandmother Moon (Joanne Shenandoah) [4:04] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jjfub80SBcg

posted August 01, 2015 05:49 PM            

(music) Windmills Of Your Mind (Peter Grant) [3:01] http://www.youtube.com/watch?hl=en&feature=related&v=dLx83xXKmPA&gl=IL

There is so much I want to say, so much to describe. Things are just beginning to 'settle' for me right now, but WOW ~ What a full-bodied thick morning!... What a day, surreal-bizarre-soberly, what a thickened inspirational day.

Just as I was awakening this morning, I had a scene where I was told to 'flow' with the day and to "allow" it to happen. I opened my eyes, and it was time to get up and get ready to go to church. Saturday morning Mass was 8 am, in the '1956' church (firstService was 3/25/1956-PalmSunday). The city buses run on a different timing on the weekends here, they cut some routes to run only once-an-hour (~bummer). So that meant I'd be extra-early today in my arriving.

I smelled incense (recognized the frankincense). Chatted with a few people, then went inside...

o m g ... You want to talk about retro? Everything there 'looked' just like the church I had attended while I was in grade school in parochial school church. Everything!! How 'special' this is for me! (Like going into a franchise restaurant, etc, and even the statues and doors were the same-same.) (This Environmental re-immersion REAL atmosphere just added to the surrealism of the transits for me for the past weeks, and this weekend.)

Without really realizing its exactitude was this morning, I had transiting Mars conjunct my 25.02 Uranus Cancer in the 8th House, about an hour before I woke up. My sleep had been sort of restless. I kept thinking it was time to get up and get ready off and on all night.

Attending Mass every morning is something that I decided to do, privately, during my last degrees Cancer transits to Uranus and Jupiter, and in honor and dedication to the 40 Days of Venus-Virgo Retrograde through LEO... Iannini's descent. This is the 'sacred space' I created (goal) for my spiritual growth, and the clearing of my vision, and getting hold of my destiny in a 'tangible' way... (outside the apartment).

The Universe is wholly rewarding me, consuming and enveloping me in this kind of bubble of sorts, the fortress tower. I want that very SOLID new foundation built for my living a life that will work for me. I am open for how to make plans on having that happen, in the most real ways. I had been adjusting adjusting adjusting my thinking in order to aim in one direction, and I really hope (and must rely that) God 'has my Back'.

This morning I read TMA Article on Susan Boyle (Love that gal!). Sue was describing Solar Directions. There was a kind of familiarity with a few things she was saying about Susan's chart.

When my roommate got off the computer, I printed out my own Natal Transits Progressions SolarArcs, and Tertiarys. I hadn't really understood the SAs and tertiary before... Then 'suddenly' it's like I 'saw it'! O M G ~~~ Like going to the doctor because of a stomach upset, to FIND OUT you're about to GIVE BIRTH, not realizing 'you were pregnant'! I mean, WOW, I saw things in the 'asteroids' I like to play with?... but THIS is ACTUALLY ~On!

I had a replay in my head early this morning of a time when I was starting to look at astrology charts. And you know how 'transits' go? You are having certain 'returns' in your chart when you start out studying, so 'you don't really realize' "how special" your Event is, until you get more developed in your knowledge of what's happening....
... WELL, OMG Epiphany! Epiphany~~ wooooo

Okay, the Moon is in 29 Aquarius right now. The Moon will be Pisces, then joining Neptune later... I will post this post, then come back later (or tomorrow) to maybe describe more of what happened to me early today.