posted September 16, 2015 12:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
Happy New Year to our Jewish Friends!
Rosh Hashana

Transiting Venus is on my asteroid 7507 Isreal Leo 16+ today.

The Lord Bless you and Keep you safe.

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posted September 16, 2015 08:10 PM            

(music) Bless Our Nation(s) (Cindy Epstein) [4:44] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYL2fWyeUls

posted September 17, 2015 03:08 PM            

Got to listen to Michele Knight videos this morning. Thank you so much Michele for your service to humanity. We have a hookup, I mean, your name in my Libra 10th and a Gemini degree (if I remember).

You mention about "commitments"... t Mercury is in my 10th about to go retro by the time I post this.

I am a very commitment minded person. With my Sun Gemini 7+ in 6th-Taurus and Libra 2+ at MC, with Cappy on 2nd Cusp, and Saturn Scorpio rx in my 11th opposing my Venus Taurus in the 5th House also Taurus, and with the transiting Sun ON my Moon Virgo today, and I have Cancer on my 8th House Cusp, I am open to a relationship that feels like my family. When I commit to something, it's got teeth!! (LOL, earth, and fixed) and I'm in it through thick and thin.

28+years ago, last time Saturn was last-scorpio and headed into Sagittarius, I had had a miscarriage of a 2nd baby on May 1, 1985. And by the time Saturn reached Sagittarius just before thanksgiving then, both the Sun and Saturn were together on my asteroid Child! I found out I was pregnant with my third (2nd living child) and t Jupiter is on her name asteroid today. (There also had-been a total New Moon Eclipse at 20 Scorpio on November 12, 1985.)

She had created a cassette tape of songs for me that were treasured by her. I long-since wore that tape out. But she was the one who introduced me to THE India Arie, a singer.

Today transiting Juno is ON my 3325 TARDIS Virgo 29.55'21 (H(9))... I have 11400 Rasa Virgo 29.26'16 (divine act or play).

At 0.00'01-rx of Libra, Juno and North Node will be on my h40 Cupido, which involves a type of 'marriage' or commitment to a community and 'the arts'. (This is across from the eclipse degree 29 Scorpio from last Good Friday, March 20.)

I also have there in Libra (still H9 just before the MC), 1108 Demeter 0.17', VIRGO CLUSTER m87 at 0.18', 5381 Sekhmet 0.22, 20952 Tydeus-sD, and 5023 Agapenor 0.29'SD (unconditional love, long-established married love, agape love {an LL-def}).

With my Sun in 6th and Libra at 2+ MC, I tend to want(need) to work for my spouse, and that's been one of the reasons I've hesitated at some Beautiful offers.

Obviously (if I had to sorta admit it right now), I question whether I could work for an uber dashingly~handsome single bossman who actively often dates that would come in with hickeys on his neck that 'I' didn't personally put there myself! omg!!!!, LOL ROFL AT MYSELF!! A Venus Taurus can be quite possessive, and maybe especially so with Saturn fixed in Scorpio.

I've had zero-problems working with marrieds AND with unmarried. I 'know' how to handle myself, with highest respect and honor, always. I would NEVER want to come inbetween two committeds. And THAT would include emotional realms. (I wouldn't 'want' to be a 'third' of any kind AT ALL.)

I'm looking at myself and the very long-term right now, and I would feel like a badCougar-Sekhmet. My own BML is 8+ degrees Sag in H12, near Antares, near my Ascendant in Sag.... even though, right now, the vids for Capricorn are the ones 'that work' in my chart. ...

So ~silly here (next eclipse will be on my 129234 Silly Aries 4.04', 11727 Sweet 4.13' and CHAOS!!(LOL) 4.17.. also 5049 Sherlock 4'49... so I'm hunting me some 350632 Truth 14.21 Libra-rx right now.)

(personal-note) I would still want to be good friends and have lots of input and ideas for youDP. I want to encourage your career (my Sun on your NN/your10th). You deserve a True-Love, with little children and a family of little DP's dancing-angels-- I would want you to have the absolute Joy in knowing that... Don't deny yourself having children of your own some day.
... And, having a TV on with news 24/7 while I try to concentrate????ah, ouchies??? (I used to LOVE keeping the 'govt' tv-channel on during the day while I worked, but stopped because it was around 2010 and I was getting soooo upset with them!!, calling my officials all the time then.
... I got to watch the real Patch Adams testify about medical things.. so darn cooooollll!!
... My body has taken a brutal buffing around here with 'too much' 'too strong' of woofers, TVs, etc. It needs recovery-time from those 'hazards' right now. {{{omg!!! suddenly right this instant!, it's 'quiet'... no 'fridge, no woofers, nobody working on their mufflers, it's a break!!!! yayayayay :laughing:}}}
... But I'd love to still be friends 'if the fates allow'... My 367 Amacitia conjunct your natal Sun. And my 1221 Amor Taurus 22 (genuine liking) at your MC(H10side).
... We've definitely had significant past lives together. What a three years this has been! {{ :heart:}} The feelings run mutual and sooooo Saturn-Scorpio deep deep deep... incredibly impacting our souls. It was Really Good!, really really Good.
... I had hoped to tell you these paragraphs more-privately by phone, to 'discuss' memories and feelings, and to help fill in some blanks. I've known you, and it was good. I know you say that these are cutting-off days? 'Cut' sounds harsh. I learned in life, don't burn your Bridges... You never know, who you know, that can help you in the future some day. It IS a tiny small world... just amazing.
... So anyways? :) I want to be there when you & luckyBlessedspouse would have your firstborn babe baptized (or dedicated). Would be sacred and an incredible privilege to take part in~~ like family. /endNote

continued----

My first marriage was to an uber-stellium earthy Virgo {had a birthday at 20-degrees), and we had two daughters together. (He abandoned them & me, when they were 1 and 3 yrs old.) I began to 'realize' what was happening during the last few days of July 1987. He had changed 'our' address to a secret post-office box, in order to intercept a very very large pay-receivables. By the end of first weeks of August, I knew there was deep deep trouble.

There was an eclipse at that time, New Moon angular 29 Virgo on September 23rd 1987, at a point where I was scrambling to contact a judge/lawyer(H9-matters), so he couldn't dissipate the rest of our assets.

(And I found he hadn't deposited the taxes on our business ~$53,000+!! o m g. I CALLED the IRS, and showed them EVERYTHING... and *they* showed extreme Mercy to me. Yes, the IRS has fairness AND A HEART!! ty Agent Silverman, always. And there were Marshalls from other countries looking for him for frauds. He even 'forged' my name to a cash-loan account 2nd mortgage, to try to dissipate house assets...Was a good thing the bank called ME 'by accident' ty God!)

By declaring the 'divorce' it would make him 'accountable' for the rest of the money he would take. As I've said in previous posts, he embezzled money from our business, had a "coin, stamps, precious metals" business going on world-wide, that he had hidden from us(me&kids) for a few years.

He had a 'double' life he kept deeply hidden, and it took my best friend to call me one day and help me 'realize' that "something" not-right was going on with my husband and me regarding the finances and that I should investigate. The 'signs' were there, but I was so blinded by my Love & Devotion to this Other (Vesta Cancer H8), that I could not "see" what my precious baby-friend (we had our children together, same midwife) saw in plain sight.

Later, part of what I realized is the my husband 'used' the pregnancies we had, as a 'cover' for his thefts. (I would get VERY vomitty sick throughout pregnancies, and had to 'trust' the business to him.)

So, some people talk about processing the last vestiges of pain regarding broken hearts and relationships. And that one, was mine. I don't want to be blindsighted. I charge every 'friend' to be True, and to let me know if I need to 'see' something regarding any marriage contract I would want to make-- whether for business marriage or ~whatever.

I still feel emotional baggage-blocks about me & business. Just DOESN'T 'make sense' and is caught there. (Silly, because it's sooo darn 'logically' right for me?!!!) I STILL have to overcome this wound left-over from nightmare with ex!! (Still a stronghold right now, to clear yet~~ I do so, with faith, giving it to God).

Here's my daughter's song... omg, the timemark is her birthday. It was one of the songs on that cassette that was so precious to me (child, AND the music), from back from 1990s.

With Mercury now freshly retrograde in Libra 15.55, I RE-Commit myself to be OPEN to Healing Love.

(music) I Am Ready For Love (The India Arie, lyrics) [4:29] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moOXLgd519I

e/446p, 518p song

Just one more song by her... :heart:

posted September 21, 2015 05:43 PM            

If you don't see me, then you know I had a body issue crisis. There is nothing I can do, but 'let' this body be tormented till the body-itself gives up ghost... My reserves feel so spent. It is minute to minute levels here sometimes.

Having some issues with the man across the street from me, too. He has business-owner "friends" of his parking in our squishy-spaces. Limited parking here. They didn't plan on a space for each apartment, and there are multiple families living in some of the units.

So he and I came to a tense clash today again, as they park in a way that completely "pins" me into the corner here (if you knew the layout). Hardly any room to walk out to the road. (I wonder how much "money" that guy is pocketing by storing this business's two huge U-Haul type box trucks, a van, and sometimes two pickups, and an extra car of theirs.

So anyways, he's going to try to make troubles for me. Probably cash bribe, as I'm sure by his sleeze-operations he gets money from them to park here. I said, They don't leave room for us to walk right, and you don't offer us any rides to go shopping or to the doctors, etc. You have FIVE vehicles here 'right now' (counted them outloud). He said, I don't give you rides because I don't own a car! I said, EXACTLY my point: These vehicles of yours don't belong to this 'hood! ... So, for my forthrightness, he may try to cause trouble. This eclipse coming may portend 'landlord' difficulties. Is a few degrees on my Aries 2.30 IC, squaring my Mars Cancer 2.36' H7gem.

My body can't take this unrelenting stress environment. I can't work when I feel so sick. (And when I post here, I'm pressing through soooo much crap. It's like I feel my work is crap if I FEEL like crap in the body. But I've been lucky that the products here have been 'okay'. It's just that I could 'enjoy' my work, and get even MORE out of my day, if the air was cooperative.)

All I can do is hang on, minute to minute sometimes. I'm not exaggerating my distress. It's just fact, that it's awful, and emotionally distressing to me because it was unnecessary. This adds to my burdens.)

I hear for my signs (Cappy is for this month's relevant houses, and Gemmy sun-sign solar.) I keep hearing about nice time to take off and go on a retreat? The only 'retreat' experience I get is when I put my earbuds and my eyeballs on some youtube nature-vids, while sitting on a really uncomfortable chair (comfort here is scarce). I work at 'accessing' the memories of states of mind and body where I can imagine 'where' I see and hear in the videos.

oh no, reminds me of that movie scene from Soylent Green!!! They showed 'nature videos' to people they were euthanizing. Soylent green is people!!!!!

posted September 22, 2015 10:06 AM            

Sending this out for my Davison Christmas partner. You always make me feel the Divine Excellence. You model Care. My asteroid 367 Amicitia is on your Sun, as also is 9499 Excalibur. Bringing out The Best in ourselves in Each encounter, with Love.

(music) O Come All Ye Faithful (Anne Murray) [4:27] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oUAnGcT--A

I sang in a production of this musical (not this vid) in my church in late 1980s. This artist and her then-husband came to sing the leads. They had a live-horse at the finale. Her voice is powerful and transcending.

(music) When His Kingdom Comes (Reba Rambo-McGuire, The Bride, christian) [2:59] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KPJDwPxMZE

The Bride of Christ

(music) Wedding Song (Peter, Paul, Mary, 25th Anniv) [3:33] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrTfNTzAvYY

(music) He Who Began A Good Work In You (Steve Green, scripture Philippians 1:6) [3:22] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsynL7m_1VE

posted September 23, 2015 07:23 PM            

Been watching Pope Francis, and just weeping. When I listened to his message to the Bishops, he was such a comfort to just 'be with'. I need deep comforting for my body-situation today. Every day, every day, just miserable. I try to bounce back here and 'pretend' it's not bad, when it actually is. Wearing out my life needlessly pre-maturely. This is coarse despair---

(And the drug dealers were busy peddling connections across the street while I was writing this. And some persons having animated interchanges. I had to go console someone...)

Back--
(Oh, the day Mercury went retrograde, I finally found a doctor who is taking new patients-- but the appointment was for the next month. That's Oct 12, finally.)

Feels like raw knuckles rubbing together without cushioning, inside and along the bones of my spine and knocking inside the marrow-hollows of my hip bones as well-- all from the STUPID invisible-beatings in resonances with other ones. Pollution. There is no physical escaping possible from this, inside or out. (Heh, I'm ready for the Lord to Come-- ~that's it! This is ruining the healthwellbeing I had left.)

There's nothing I can do, but humbly ask for prayers---
I have no family to surround and care for me-- no support. I need care. I can't work when I'm sick and in distress from everything around me like this, 24/7. It's all I can do to keep a brighter-attitude and a focused straight-head on. I don't have room for anything else, but survival-for-the-moment, by writing in posts here, and burying my head in astrology books to try to take my attention off what's going on IN and around my body.

Thank God that I have GOD in my life. At least HE cares and is present to me. And How Beautiful it IS that He is Near...

I'm just listening to pieces of the Pope's homily from the Mass right now--- What a Beautiful Man!

I have a cute running joke with my rm that my Papa Francis reads these posts. {{ }}

So, just in case!!! (LOL, yet crying)
Papa! please .... Pray for me. Your Face on TV today has blessed my soul. I Love you.
... Saw you limping. I pray that God takes away your sciatica (is what the news commentator said) You have a Sagittarius Sun, and sciatica bothers some Saggies.
God Rules the Energy of our Charts...
I Pray the sciatica ceases, IJN.

I wish to live the remaining of my days WITHOUT harboring bitterness because of what has befallen me. Just Let me End well....

posted September 28, 2015 10:32 PM            

Saw a commercial on TV where they're selling special-formula supplements for people who hear hissing, etc. Ha!~~ See that. I'm not the only one. Noise pollution. There used to be a lot more room in the air for hearing. Mechanical noises never had the kind of 'toughness' they have now. They took the 'empty' bands and have those spaces THICK with the WiFI now. That's making all the other mechanical sounds turn into High Definition. There never used to be that 'backdrop' of wifi sound before so the regular sounds weren't that noticeable. And I know it's making people's body sick.

They need to do more innovation to protect people's hearing. The past few days has been ridiculous. Too big to fail... They innovate too fast!!

Been having thoughts again of just shredding all my journals. I don't need to review all that pain again. That's done.

It would be such a shame to shred my astrological chart works (for the asteroids), but if I had to-- it's like Jeff Jawer said once, the important information got retained, it's already IN you.

I know that's true from the Pope's chart on his visit to America. Wow! I had pegged those asteroids-- I've got a feel for them. So ~wild how I can pull an obscure reference to a word used and 'there' it was. So, as the air clears from the eclipse we just had, I'll be able to share.

So, I was feeling really negative (tSun trine my Chiron)~~ that is NOT like me. Knew TD Jakes was on TV at 7:30pm and flipped TV on for that. He did a sermon on 'Exceptionalism'. Towards the end, it was like that negative attitude broke 'by itself'~~ I mean, I did nothing but have it on in the background while working at a chore, and something he said grabbed me and good-poofed it. My options are NOT run out. I'm still in.
{{That's right, Bishop!! I'm not giving up, no no. Love You!! and Thank You for your encouragement! *Heart*}}

So here I am, stuck in the middle of screamy sound & shivering landscapes. Sheesh! Wracking my brains on what to do. Seems like such a ravine. Do it all by myself??? That was my problem since the beginning of this thread! IF I could have done it 'all by myself' I would have BEen 'THERE' a really long time ago now. I have no idea of anything further until I get communicated! I'm making up stuff in my head that isn't based on good information. Haven't been able to talk to anyone.

Eating another elephant one bite at a time. Feel stuffed!

posted September 30, 2015 08:52 PM            

Still under my chiron aqua H2 being stimulated. It is my soul's value to reflect illuminating ideas through my words, which have the potential to heal and create harmony balance fairness in the collective mind.

Words can horribly deeply wound... I am sooo appreciative of all the loving words of support I've received from those whom I consider closest to me. Love begets a greater deeper love and heals wounds. Thank you for helping me to understand myself, and understanding and uncovering more about you too.

(Natal placements Hygiea-Harmonia Libra 7+ trine my Sun Gemini 7+ trine my Chiron-rx Aqua 5+)
in H10, H6-taur, H2-capr.

I have to forgive myself for being more sensitive and reactive-inside.

With my 6th House Sun, and Mars in Cancer, I tend to be more reticent and not fight for myself, and accept whatever happens.

As I've said in previous posts, I don't aggressively compete negatively against people. I don't like playing solo, but wish to support. Always played very assertively in defense-position in team-oriented sports. I'm about protecting people. I love healthy in-house fun with intellectually based nonlethal competition; and when it comes to knifing and 'hurting' people on purpose in order to get ahead in business or love?... that's a stop.

I've been on the receiving-end of that kind of treatment throughout my life, and in certain issues I still feel raw.

I'm a personal facilitator, not a dominatrix (~well, actually that's depending! LOLROF.)
('They'll try almost-anything at least once! CWi {LOL}.
Feeling alone is an illusion..
Thanks for the affirmative nudge. 'Love' over Fear brings nutrition of peace.)

I hope that my regular people know me enough to realize that I have my own way of Beliefs that are NOT in line with what, for example, Kim Davis says (and that meeting WITH the Pope? wha'????). I am repulsed by the direction of separation that is being promoted. United 'inclusive-we' stand. The attitude of exclusion is the work of Darkness and ignorance that can only serve to further rip and shred lives of loving people apart.

I wonder if his decision to do this will impact and undo a lot of the goodwill that this Pope has gathered towards himself. It possibly negates hope for the catholics who thought they had found more loving compassionate and merciful body with a fresh and more-embracing true Christian Love. Will this political move effectively shove Christ back out of church and shut the doors again?...

Waking up is hard to do!

posted October 01, 2015 04:25 PM            

Not slowing down? Then Go Ahead and Have a Blast!!!

(clip) Jimmy Carter gets shown on the Kiss Cam!! [MLB] ([0:53] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYirhcPGPys

posted October 04, 2015 10:11 PM            

There's been one I've watched for a while called asteroid 4762 Dobrynya.

I have this placement at 9.24'32" Libra in my 10th House near MC Libra 2.30'. My Dobrynya quintiles Jupiter Cancer 8th.

According to MAH, Dobrynya this stands for "protecting boundaries" for foolish or misguided compassion, and most of all here, is linked to being a victim of gossip. http://markandrewholmes.com/dobrynya.html

Today, transiting 4762 Dobrynya is 26+ Gemini at a speed of 18'14" (about the same speed as Jupiter travels right now).

Over the past year, I've noticed how my chart seems sensitive to this asteroid. Today it crosses my SouthNode-Mercury 26,27 Gemini H7.

Pope Francis has been having transiting Dobrynya cross his 12th House cusp to touch Chiron-rx Gemini 20.14' H12 trine his Libra Mars 19.30' and Dobrynya 21.44' Libra (H3).

Pope Francis also has his South Node 24.16/24.17 in Gemini H12 near the Chiron.
t-Dobrynya was applying to his Chiron 20+ Gemini H12-- made its way to his South Node 24+ Gemini.

His name asteroid 2050 Francis is at 24.49' Gemini H7 in my chart! near my South Node 26.32' mean27.57-Mercury27.54' F.S.Polaris27.56' Gemini bQ Chiron Aqua.

Pope Francis has his 2050 Francis name-asteroid in Taurus 1.20' on his MC Taurus 0.04' on the H10 side, quintile his Vertex 18.45 Aquarius (on one of my names at 18.33' LOL), trine his NN Sag 24+. His NN is conjunct his Sun 25.54'25" conjunct GalacticCenter 25.58'13" Sagittarius.

Ready for this??

Pope Francis has asteroid 30203 Kimdavis (Kim Davis?:eek at 24.10'48" Sagittarius CONJUNCT his True NorthNode 24.16' Sag, while transiting 4762 Dobrynya was opposed ON his SN-to-Chiron Gemini degrees during that news media frenzy.

T-Dobrynya conjuncted Chiron-SN and trined his natal Mars-Dobrynya Libra H3.
T-Dobrynya opposed Pope's NN-Sun-GC.

The Pope's 4762 Dobrynya Libra 21.44' H(3) is Quintile his Jupiter 3.32' and Ceres 4.40' in Capricorn H6, biQuintile his Saturn 16.30' Pisces H8, and Quintile 26955 Lie 11+ Leo.

I've come to see this asteroid Dobrynya as the paparazzi! How the transit treats you depends on what your 'flavor' was on that particular day. And with his natal placement connected to his Jupiter adds more energy to it.

The Pope and I share the Dobry Quintile Jupiter, and our North and South Node placements that connect to Galactic Center.

quote:

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Davis and her husband met briefly[106] with Pope Francis at the Apostolic Nunciature to the United States in Washington with "several dozen" other people during his U.S. visit in September 2015. According to Davis' lawyer, the pope told her to "stay strong" and gave Davis two rosaries, which she intends to give to her Catholic parents. Rosaries were also given to other people in attendance.

The Vatican press office issued a statement saying that: "The Pope did not enter into the details of the situation of Mrs. Davis and his meeting with her should not be considered a form of support of her position in all of its particular and complex aspects." According to Father Thomas Rosica, a Vatican spokesman, Davis was not invited to the Nunciature, and "the meeting may have been manipulated by her and her lawyer".
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Davis_(county_clerk)

---

Part of what lead to my having such a strong reaction to the Kim Davis incident was that I had been watching this dear Pope on the catholic TV station, and the commentator (who bears an amazing resemblance to "Pee Wee Herman") was continuing to disrespect this Pope, with a bloated proud arrogant look and demeanor, and I was feeling more angered and more frustrated by the hour-- my heart opened with the pope, and continually repulsed by the comments. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pee-wee_Herman

Thank God that some other channels began to offer coverage for the Pope's visit-- Msnbc, and Al-Jazeera TV.

Pee-Wee was making comments about Catholicism that I feel definitely don't agree and reflect the papal Vatican views I've been observing over this past year and a half. He was speaking of an impending split the usa-catholic church, and made sideways comments that these bishops in Philadelphia were planning to 'declare their Independence' from this Pope as part of their agenda for meeting. I could NOT believe my own ears. Seemed treasonous. I found it extremely disturbing and senseless. Betrayal, of a really Good person, whom THEY elected. Loyalty counts HEAVILY with me.

So when Kim Davis appeared in her bliss, reporting as though the Pope "sides" with her-personally, it was like an eruption went off inside me.... All that hate-attitude and arrogance+++ which PeeWee used, all came upon me at once.

I sincerely doubt that he understands the Cancer Ascendant Pastoral Heart and Sagittarian Vision Pope Francis has. (There are other asteroids that 'add' to his vision, which I'll do a post on some day.)

Last year's Christmas, then the Easter programs I watched on catholic tv were very revealing of the contrast between some of the pompous self-righteous arrogant shallow US leaders, and the more Higher Love and Consciousness perspective italian-vatican programs. It was stark.

So!, back to the 'hood----

How natal Dobrynya worked for me these past month/weeks (with the t North nodes; then t Mercury, t Mercury-RX, t Sun, and soon t BML-- in my 10th House) has been really apparent. But I'll just speak of the 'hood right now.

The neighbor across from me
(I'll call 5888, because that's the street/apt number),
got angry with me that the manager told him he couldn't allow his "friends" to park all those big commercial trucks in our limited parking spaces... (5888 is a BULLY. He's a harddrug dealer and has been guilty of beating the women inside his house. They run away from him, then after a few months, come back. Has hosted escort parties there too. Has a little grandson that stays with him from time to time, who mimics his granddad, shouting and commanding his mother like a tyrant... I hope he gets help in time.

Actually, I can't wait to see the swat-team raid the place some day, or one of the other place 5888 hangs. Anyways, I'm mentioning him and house/aprt number here right now 'just in case' he does something to harm me... This will be a record. He's been spreading hate lies about me. (My rm 'happened' to hear about this and corrected him cold.)

The gang-involved people are back hanging around here just a few doors up this past week. I knew some of them when they were younger and growing up here, and somehow they came back (although I don't think they rent here?). It's not a good sign that they are clustering in that spot again. ...So, I have a kind of nurturer 'authority' status with them-- They KNOW I'm a nice lady, and that I've cared, defended and protected them from getting in bad-trouble here before.

I CAN'T believe that the cops have not sprung yet, so that probably means they've got some undercover personnel involved so they can have a good legal case when they trap them. That's GOT to be the reason why this lasted so long.

So... I just frustrated. Got a really strong feeling to study this weekend and it's just been frustrated. Every day here there's pain to some degree, physically. It's a matter of how strong. When I can't delve into my astrology, it makes things worse. It's been an incredible challenge for me to maintain as I have. It's moment to moment for many hours. Has me actually wondering what it will feel like to die... I really don't like going there. I hope my body doesn't conform to those thoughts... and then sometimes I wonder if my thoughts are there because my body is trying to warn the mind of something impending.

Cancel. Cancel. Cancel.

posted October 05, 2015 01:02 PM            

Well it also seems that there are other frustrations going on regarding my trying to find a doctor AGAIN. Around my birthday (e.o. May) I found out my doctor had relocated OUT of the bus route system. Had to find a new doc. Called a place that said they weren't taking new patients with Medicare Original-- to call back 'next month'. I couldn't get them to answer their phone that 'next month', so found a new office that was advertising that they take new patients. Took 3 weeks for me to see the doctor. Before I even get to see him, I was told they won't take my Medicare Original (when on the phone they assured me they did--- remember my asteroid Altamira posts? sheesh!!). So then I found this 'new place' within walking of my apartment. Made an appointment... 'new patients' are not seen for 3 weeks. Made the appointment. Went home to count how many Synthroid pills I had left (thyroid replacement hormone I've been on for the past 31 years???). Seemed that I could NOT get a refill from the old-doc that relocated anymore. I called my new doctor, and the "business" organization assured me that my maintenance thyroid hormone would be prescribed BEFORE I see the doctor as I need this to maintain Life (get terribly sick if miss more than 2 or 3 doses). So I found out the procedure for all that--- Everything was copasetic-- until Friday. The pharmacy-computer is NOT talking well to their computer. NO HUMANS will override it. I spent time money and aggravation this morning, and the local pharmacy I've gone to for the past ten years REFUSES to front me without a doctors script. I spent time and went to the new doctor place, spoke nicely and graciously yet assertively with the humans, to NO avail. It's about "Business" now and NOT health care. Business, capitalism, today grrrrr It's EVIL!!! It's about being a slave to machines and "computers" no human conscience (not that people have those activated right now, so much (LOL). When it comes to guilt? I think the human race needs a healthy-dose of it in order to straighten the difference between humans and business-doings ..... So I took information down from her because I want my congress representative to KNOW what Seniors go through here in my state, where doctors refuse Medicare Original patients, and they can't use "common sense" medicine. It's a freakin' Hormone folks!!!! Not a classified drug! ~ it's freakin hormonessss

So, I just got a call from a choir member who was making sure of where I live so she could take me to practice tonight. But I had to CANCEL--- because after I finish this post, I have to go to a Hospital Emergency Room, in order to wait there for a doctor who can write me a prescription for a couple weeks of Synthroid. How much is THAT going to cost the "tax-payers"???? Stupid stupid stupid and COLD. I hope the Teapartiers and Republicans appreciate this post, because their tactics are nasty in my book today--- Look at "how much spending" is going to happen because Business is the New Religion. O yeah, Business is not business anymore.... It's a freakin holy religion?! And they use Coins and Dollar for Communion Ecstasy religious experiences of exchange between each other *sighhhh*. Hell, the way I do it? is cheaper. LOLLMAO

So get this too----- I thought I had made an appointment with a doctor. NOPE. When I asked the woman is this doctor an MD or a DO. She said, Oh it's a Nurse. Wha?????? I'm waiting ALL THIS TIME on a nurse? No WONDER the pharmacy can't juggle the prescription.... SHE's not even a doctor. I was making an appointment with a DOCTOR. They freakin LIED TO ME!!!!

So the woman offers to drop the nurse, and it would take me an ADDITIONAL 3 frickin weeks to have a DOCTOR see me instead of a nurse to establish medical care for me, who is almost 60 and a half years old now. Cut me a BREAK?!!!!!

Okay okay--- Mercury Retrograde, haha. So, next bus downtown is in about another half-hour. I'll take that one, or the one after.

posted October 05, 2015 08:44 PM            

And some of the woofer-neighbors went out on whatever errand they're doing, and ahhhhhh. WOW~~ Peace in the house. omg... I want to just cry. Oh wow. Peace and sanity IS with and in me. It's times like this that actually make me think that "I have a Life" and I can live it. And that my body problem is solvable. My body strives well to try to compensate itself in the brief inbetween times from the cruel gnarliness that surrounds. Sometimes I think that ubergnarlyyuk and pain is the doom that fills my future, which drives me into downcast and despair. Too much of that, and you get complicated~~ know what I mean? And I resist giving in to that.

So anyways, I've got to go get the place ready for rm who is due home near immediately now. I'll run my Synthroid errand tomorrow instead. Hope I don't have to sit in that emergency room for toooo many hours to get my prescription written.

Blessings on everyone... so many Blessings.
You're in my prayers every day.

posted October 07, 2015 05:44 PM            

That eclipse we just had happened in my Aries 4th House. Since then, the back-window family that had been keeping me up at night, and, the drunk-lady who had physically threatened assault to me (and was picking fights with others too), and, NOW Mr.5888 (from above post) all relocated to new 'hoods?!

Happy! Happy!... Hey God??? Am I next?

My rm is wishing really hard to win some money from gambling. (And with his being a Virgo, with Sun and Venus there, and with his Jupiter in Taurus, sometimes he DOES win little sums.) ...As despicable as he likes behaves sometimes, he really does have humanitarian thoughts.

He told me a few days ago that IF he won some money, he plans to set up a trust-fund for me that would cover all my basic living expenses with a little-more added for comfort, so I could pursue my dreams in life.

I was taken-back by that sweeping generous thought-gesture and noticed myself at first resisting it. But then I remembered what some of my vid-friends say about me 'not receiving' when it's there for me to take? I corrected myself internally, sent these friends a blessing, and thanked him, out loud for such a compassionate kind gesture towards me.

Because that was SUCH a generous thought, I whimsically added, Oh, and you can turn that money back over to your daughter and family when I died. ...

Well, this morning, he brought that up, and he sounded very assertive and strong, and spoke much more specifically. He said that if he could, he was thinking he would set me up with a $250,000 Fund; and since his daughter is already well-off financially (as well as the rest of his folks), he said he would want me to leave that money to my grandchildren whom I've never met.

He said that this would 'prove' to my grandchildren that they DO have a Loving grandmother that they were denied a relationship with, but who still thought-enough about them to leave an inheritance to them (and NOT the daughters). ...Wow! He hardly ever talks about private things, and this blew me out of the water. He 'cares' about what my grandchildren would feel about me when they got older. The little ones here in the 'hood are sooo precious, and they love it when they see me. Rm sees that it's reciprocal between me and them. It was something that was stolen from me in a way. I see every child as 'my child' and have that kind of love towards them. Even adult-kids can feel that I love and affirm their tender precious inner-self.

PM to CW,
You know already I'm crazy about you. Wrong bus? Laughing!! Guy?!~~ you know it! *Pauses a moment to manage her holystilettos, then tosses her hair*

I wouldn't want to be with someone who couldn't be 100% supportive of MY whole life, because that's what I naturally give too. (But then, you already know that because you wouldn't have said what you did.)

I'd still personally like to become a Certified Classical Astrologer for myself, AND I want to nail learning to cast accurate charts by hand (even if computers do all the work these days--- it's just solid and important that I tackle and self-master this). I LOVE transits, asteroids, and esoteric.

Y'all know I'm a mystic, and have a love for God and people; I long to see nations and the world 'hood getting along better, moving us towards World Peace. I think political charts are interesting, as well as nations.

I love finding the common denominator in things, and the patterns in history and relating it to the mundane now (well~ I guess that comes under Transits).

Would be curious to learn more about medical astrology (since I tend to 'feel' those transits with my 'body' haha); and I have a hunch that I could probably be good at vocational astrology~~ just an inkling I'd like to explore~~~~ Talking out loud here.

Vocations are changing, morphing. Will be quite interesting to see how it all lands.

No matter what-all else I would very willingly do (and learn) for someone else, I want to do the Certification for me~~ and of course, have a totally-fun cake-party at award or graduation time.

Hmmm, some Champagne and a neat little bouquet of pretty flowers would be nice too?

Afterall... I DO have my Venus in Taurus. (psssst: She's felt kinda wornout exhausted and deprived, ~but always faithful.)

I'm interested in being with someone who's going to treat me Special, because that's who and what I am, and that's how I feel about people in general. I like treating every person like they're the most important Being in my life. When I connect with a soul, I affirm them. ...Now, I want that to be reciprocated, unconditionally.

*mountain* *rainbow*

Feeling strangely ~weird and sassi today, like something lifted from me from yesterday. I had a good experience in the E.R. getting that prescription.

And it was hilarious how my Aries-church-friend (nearly 80(?)yrs old, and soooo out-loud fiesty) took Care to scold me after I cried and vented my moans about business and doctor's ethics. She waggled her finger looking cross at me, reminded me of all the paperwork they were required to do now-- then (laughing) told me in her comedic way that I'd better pray and get a better attitude before I'd go visit that nurse-practitioner on Monday (10/12) LOL. LMAO!!!!

She and I might not see eye-to-eye on a few key political or church-policy issues, but it does not stop either one of us from sharing our positions, both with equal loving and passion. We both LOVE God, want to do Good, and enjoy having each other's company each morning on our ride to Mass.

(I'll have to go check what that asteroid Sassi is doing later, LOL.)

posted October 09, 2015 04:38 PM            

(music) Shower The People (James Taylor, North Sea Jazz 2009) [4:52] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uokWBMU02Ug