posted December 29, 2015 11:09 AM            

Last night was sooooo vibey in the 'hood. I could hardly get to sleep, so I'm shorted on sleep/rest right now, yet still very okay. I've GOT to lighten-up on myself. I make things sooo complicated~~ oh arrrgh. {{But love me anyways?!}} Some of you have been with me a LONG time, and you DO 'get' me. And oh Wow, I AMMMMMM soooooo Grateful. Please know that. My silly heart! I really DO perhaps over-try???? But read the intention, and forgive my words. They may be sloppy in themselves, but please know my Heart is gold. Just a Beautiful Mess, looking to 'happen'!! Thank you soooo much.

Staying 'in the flow'.... Resting back in the angelic arms. And humorously, song 'Stayin' Alive'... I hope the 'hood be good!!!' All the rounds of firecrackers around here (day AND night) bring the police cars to the scene~~ so, I guess I'll chipperly view that as very Positive!!!!!! *grin* ~Finding the Good!!)

There was a course I took in college for Intro to Sociology. There were 22 books 'required' for that course. Omg, I read and read, trying to 'assimilate' everything really down-deep inside of me. It was like I 'thoroughly' wanted to know EVERYTHING that each book presented. I mean, I used to even go back to their references, and pursue 'those' so that I could get the deeper meaning of what the idea presented was.

Thing is, that professor did nothing but talk about himself the whole time. He never talked about sociology. Was claiming that the people of Saskatchewan were going to crown him their king, yada yada. I was taking the class with 9 other peers in our 'commuter house' club. I wound up being the only one who faithfully showed up at every class. I noticed that after the closing bell would sound, and a lot of people had left, he would mutter something about a test or a quiz we'd have to take the next time on certain of the books.

Knowing this, I hung around to see if he'd say anything, then I'd relay the message to my little peer-group.

So, my first tests I took with him, I had studied soooo hard. The questions on the test were ridiculously 'mundane' actually. It would be like (wild example), 'What color is this?' ooooo wow. I'd be digging in, really going through my mind all the shades of colors and meanings and hues of the thing. What color 'green' is this--- ooooomg. You know what the simple-answer was? "Green"... nothing more. Just "green".

Then I got ticked off, and said I'm not going to waste my time. I took my books, only read the headings and maybe the first sentence, then moved on. Guess what? I went from "D" grades to A and B for that, by NOT studying too hard.

Go figure? .... o he'p me!!!

I've GOT to start being nicer to myself, and not put soooo much pressure. {Item for NewYear's List}. "Allow" things to happen, because 'it's all Good'.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Trusting that God has His Heavenly Angels, AND the Earthly Angels watching my back.

{I]The lines are fallen for me in pleasant places[/I]...Psalms 16:6

...

posted December 29, 2015 05:54 PM            

(music) Walking In The Air (Aled Jones, The Snowman) [3:27] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuzLlOSJTKg

(music) Ideo (An adaptation of 16 Century Ancient Christmas Carol, lyrics on screen and in descriptions, instrumental from Across Narnia) [3:45] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZH2rACpO9zs

(music) Nowell Sing We (Medieval, perf. by 'The Debatable Choir of the Barony-Marche of the Debatable Lands' ) [2:07] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMYyN9Uh9wY

(music) A Virgin So Pure (Mae McKenna, Celtic Christmas) [3:03] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUBoMaj_dJc&index=81

(music) Prayer of the Children (Kurt Bestor, Azusa Pacific University's Choir & Orchestra, 2005) [5:32] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkqqrCcXhl8

(music) Some Children See Him (Sixpence None the Richer, lyrics) [4:15] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_3-haTEFrU

(music) Sending You Light (Melanie Demore, In The Mother House) [3:39] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSNQFstyu_s

posted December 29, 2015 07:01 PM            

(music) Bread of Heaven (Fred Hammond, gospel, lyrics) [5:01] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjVgm9-XTqQ

(music) Great Is Your Mercy (Donnie McClurkin, gospel, live) [10:35] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODmHMKfD_iY

(music) The Lord Is Blessing Me (Fantasia, energizing 'hardcore dancin' church~type Gospel! LOL, on BET) [4:44] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT4G9o4EkqU

(music) Praise Is What I Do (William Murphy, gospel) [5:06] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIPKnj-0Czw

posted December 31, 2015 02:39 PM            

Sometimes I look at the effect of words spoken TO my own physical body. With some words from people, I've felt like an emotional hostage. Maybe a physical one too, because up until this very moment and date, there have been no tangible responses to my calls, and my work here. I am told ever to be patient... And I am willing to be that. I HAVE been that.

Sometimes when I look at astrology everything 'seems' so pre-set. Sometimes I think that if I HAD made some of the leaps I had very much wanted to take, if 'right now' I would have been left in a terrible lurch by them. I MAY be very very mistaken, but some of the ways I feel is that people can participate with a jerk-response 'just because' of their transits. There is MUCH that goes on in the sky that is slower and meaningful. Goes down to the roots.

Not every transit 'requires' that you flip-over every single secure foundational and unsecured thing in your life? I have mental confusions about that process. Some persons are so ready to throw away valuable things?...

And I understand too that there are stages of development that 'require' the Wisdom that Age can provide for it. It is a 'good' thing, that I let go of some of my much younger-folk associations at this time, because with having completed my Saturn-journey, and with Saturn ON my Ascendant right now, I feel that shifting into the phase of elderhood. ~Maybe I belong associating with a more mature crowd for a while-- at least until I get my bearings on what it is my Soul requires of me. I'm still open in considering what is 'out' there for me.

I have NO conscious 'tight'-idea what I can do. I 'think' I perceive that many are so disappointed in me. But relationships ARE a two-way TANGIBLE deal. What was I to think with the avalanche of messages of how "doomed" we are, the gloom that our atmospheres are stripped out from Spirit, and the hazards ahead that SAY there is the destruction and dissolution of all sources of financial deals.

For a clue to others about what that does inside of ME? It makes me want to dig deeper into my religion. I automatically want to refer to the Christian understandings and roots I was given (which are even in that mystic-realm where 'religious'-dogmatic folk want to condemn me too... Please, do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God-- it is not as it seems... There is something wonderful going on).

My Christian understand and education has been what taught and ingrained in me that 'it is GOD' who provides for us from His Infinite resources. Some of my astrological dear dear sweet connected precious friends spell death-messages towards me.... because you are displeased.

I humbly ask your pardon and forgiveness for having so-disappointed some. Not all are disappointed, because there are some who 'get me'-- you understand the cosmic ring and overtones in what I am saying. We are closer than we think. It is religion that drives people apart. It is GOD that brings everyone together in Unity.

We all march to the beat of our own drums, and some of us ARE in the same steps. We Nurture the Divine (because GOD wants and requires US to Love the Lover, which stimulates the 'provision' of milk to the young who need it so much), and the Divine Breast responds with Supply, and Provision for our lives.

Who could imagine that something looking like a Breast can count for more than just sex. Yes, sex makes the babies which resupplies our world and legacies with new fresh yeast-batch of DNA recruits.

But 'we' who are the feminine-masculine inspirational provisional-Breasts, need to ourselves stay Nourished (as also representing the earth in Other's lives)-- we need the resources to take care of our own being, so that we can be healthy and able to feed the Others.

I have 'heard' messages from people, whose Words zaps the Spirit and makes GOD as non-effect. Hope IS in the air. The Words of such negative force strips away the Human Heart's ability to REALLY associate with that Divine Within. ....

With Uranus in my 4th, heading towards a gnarly mean part of my chart at 25-degrees, it requires me to think about my own Value (tPluto officially entering my H2) as Valuable for 'being who I am' and not what I can do with my hands... All work with the hands has value, but Inspiration is a Gift that is NOT handed down to just-anyone. You have to have that Ability and Gift INSIDE. God gives Gifts out to Humanity as He Wills. Not 'anyone' can DO what I do. You must 'take care' of that gift in me, as I strive to say healthy and alive, for myself).

In that Vision I had of the Cosmic Breast, and being someone that stimulates God's Breast to 'let down' its cosmic milks, then there is the squirting-out that comes at the Let-Down of that milk. And a baby has Instincts to press INTO that Breast and massage it (through musical Worship experiences) in order to bring down that Creamy Part and Satisfying most-delicious dessert part of the milk-experience.

I learned so much, studying my own body and its automatic reflexes-- ESPECIALLY during that Rich time of growing a baby inside me, and giving it Birth, then Feeding that wee-one until it weaned.

If you've ever breastfeed a baby, sometimes that baby pulls its head away off to the side when it is distracted by something in the environment. As the nipple whips out of its mouth in mid-sucks, the tiny pores where the milk shoots out of the ball of the nipple will spray all over the place, and some of those streams are not always straight. (Laughing).

I reasoned how these pores in the nipple make sure that the milk is squirted to every part of that child's mouth and throat..., bringing even greater satisfaction and pleasure. The baby feeds. Food and nourishment, and corresponding pleasure comes as its needs healthy 'complete' growth, until it reaches the next-stage of its development.

I wanted to also acknowledge and thank Eric Francis for being an Inspirer in my life. Eric, I've been behind in listening to your podcasts. Your site is gorgeous! You've really done a work of Excellence.

Among the 'voices' of astrologers, let my Venus Taurus tell you that I think I would vote you as sexiest-Voice on the ether-waves. Laughing my butt off here... When you spoke in French a few months ago, I INSTANTLY referenced in myself the effect that French had on Gomez when Morticia used it. (Addam's family TV series.) You do good work, Eric. I've learned a lot from you. I like some of your unique takes on the asteroids. No one else quite sees them with the same Eye and Vision. You were Right On with your interpretations (a long time ago) dealing with Dissociation and PTSD. It's 'in' my chart, 11th House Scorpio CONJUNCT a very-appropriate Fixed Star that suggests Social Reform efforts; and in Aquarius associated with Fixed Stars Sadalsuud and Deneb Algedi, asteroid Skepticus (~oy) and Jason-Icarus (both in-station and questing for discovery) e.o. my 2nd.

So today, I listened to the first 30 minutes of your Capricorn Solstice podcast. EXCELLENCE. (Will have to finish that up, and catch-up listen to the rest of your work.)

I started to ask myself 'why' I prolong the time to listen to these, and that's where I had the image and thoughts that it MAKES me have to 'slow down' inside, to hold still and 'take in' the Experience of the Listen. It's not a quickie-meal. It's a slow dining experience, not to be rushed through-- comes in seatings, and courses. You don't want to be too much in a rush to eat this. You want to 'savor' each part of the meal being served. So, if that can be a compliment to you, sir, you are a Beautiful disseminator of Words.

As you began that podcast, my instinct-mind went to a certain asteroid located at the top of my cart at 1-degree of Libra, e.o. H9. .... I've been anguishing about people who insist I give up my interest in Christianity and walk on the more aetheistic (and what they deem as Aquarian) view of life. That they say that THIS is the John Lennon Imagine experience that we are coming into in the new age.

This asteroid for a long time has also been coupled with an image for me that came to me back in the earlier 2000s.

As I endeavored to try to figure out what God would have me DO with my life, I saw the image of one of those electric seats, where it's a recliner and the people who have a mobility problem with getting-up, press a button and the seat of the chair levitates UPwards, until the person is standing upright WHILE that seat is still engaged with their derriere.

I saw God give me that image, explaining to me 'how' he works sometimes. It's like driving up a steep hill. Can cause a panic reaction to think of the incline. And even looking in the rear-view mirror can cause great fear as you 'see' how far UP you have climbed. But IF you keep your eyes ONLY on where you are right now, with a little-bit of distance added, then you MAKE that journey up the mountain, up the hill, right as you BE. Don't think about the downhill part, because there's a way to handle THAT also. All is given in its DUE season.

With that asteroid 309239 ESHU (2007 RW10), I think it was Amiable's TransNeptunian website where I saw this described as "phase transition" weakness is that there is no "3rd" view, only red or white. There is the need for an integration of opposites (with pleasant surprise 180-turns associated with this). Transiting Hygiea is coming to that degree after it passes my h40 Cupido at 0-Libra. Hygiea has figured VERY prominently in my natal chart, with its trine to my un-aspected Sun and basically to Chiron. I have Hygiea at 7.50 Libra H10. It will be there... AFTER she passes over my P.o.DEATH??? omg... just freak your Mirage out with partial astrology knowledge here, LMAO.

I Shall Live, and NOT Die, and Declare the Works of The Lord.... from the Book of Psalms!!! Lord, Make it So!! Amen.

Eric, My part of Death is conjunct my Achilles 2+Libra JUST BEFORE my 10th House Cusp. ... You have related that asteroid as being the false-perception of having a handicap that can fail us? (at least, I 'think' that's what you said, been a while since I looked at my fuller notations there).

I just TRUST that this is what it is. That there ARE people out there who 'have my back' and will be willing to step forward to help boost me up and ONTO the right living situation for me, and right work or a stipend where I can 'do' what I do best, and Feed the Collective from what I 'draw' from the Divine.

So yes, my immediate-environment I live in is not the best suit for me. It has stolen some of my body-health because of 'things' that have occurred, toxic things. But I need some help getting my body back on track. And getting some sort of way to provide for myself. I think I am part of the Vision that God has had for bringing IN the Nourishment that the 'Body' (us as a Whole, what I call in my own words, 'The Body of Christ', the Body and Communion with the saints-- which IS 'ALL' of us) is provided-for.

One last thing-- about an Image I received about how Chiron operates, based on what I've heard Eric say. I saw a Knit-Hook. The device you use to 'repair' a sweater. You push the hook through the knit from the bottom-side of the fabric, it grabs the maverick-loop, closes a latch, then you pull it back underneath the fabric so that the surface that people see is even-knitted.

The symbol for Chiron "looks" like the open latch of one of these knit-pullers. I humorously 'gave up' when I saw all the *ahem* 'nasty' that Chiron has made ... especially seeing the Progressed Chiron in my chart over the past decades. OH GNARLINESS !!! But, I had to come to learn to BE a Storyteller (as my asteroids Beautifully ALSO spell-out as part of my Juice in the chart. (I could do my own article on those for me! LOL)

So!, Eric!! My Asteroid-buddy. Your transiting-name is accompanying tMERCURY TODAY! cON-jUNCT!!! LOL (Adding 301pm : past my asteroid 13111 PapaCosmas 28+ Capr and to 29 Capricorn 166 Rhodope 29.29' 'A mountain to climb, or a mountain in one's path' or Goal Attained. -- thank you Mark Andrew Holmes *heart* )

Also tMARS is ON your name in my Libra Tenth at 29-Degrees... conjunct Klonius 28.56 (meaning, "drinking the Kool-Aid???" *uproarious laughter here*) omg, I LOVE my astrologers, ... and I also Love my Lord!

I'm going to say again, that I ALWAYS want to remain open, honest, and transparent... because how else can I HEAL if others don't know what my thoughts are, how my situation here is. I NEVER mean to Harm, to Complain, to Bother. I ONLY want to Be a Blessing.

So, if there are souls that can help, then please come forward to help. God is sorting my friends??? I want to remain completely transparent and Clear. Please help me with what I cannot myself SEE. I've been in a fog, and I will NOT lie about that. AND, everything I've been 'trying' to say is as on the mark as I could deliver it in these past years. I have my weaknesses, AND some great strengths that I need to develop even-more.... Oh gosh, astrology-transits can almost scare death into you. I'm NOT looking forwards to the *woofers* tonight, I don't really feel good right now, even though I am in Excellent spirits.

I'm Praying Gods Showers of Blessings as the shoots of sparks come down as the Earth Turns and Fireworks will begin in Celebration. God, please give EACH ONE of us the messages we need to hear from Above to Below. And let each one below LOOK UP to the Heavens and KNOW that YOU Exist, and You're There for us, providing your Milk, your sparks of Ideas and Ideals.

So, should I part soul from my body tonight (because my body had to quit for things happening in my environment beyond my control), or in the next few days as I go through some incredible sky transits...

I want to be remembered for The Beauty that was There, and was here in my Words to you.

That I Call each one of you precious and Beloved souls encared to my Loving Words, as 'Beautiful' all in your own Unique ways. You added so much to my Life.

That I Called my MAKER, My God, (My Precious Jesus, AND ALL the FULLness of The GODHEAD in the Most Beautiful HOLY Spirit, and all God's Names) Beautiful to ME.

To be absent from the body, is to be Present with the Lord.

You can find me Worshipping up in God's Cosmos... There with the Angels, Humbly Bowing at His Footstool (The Earth), Blessing all. With this, I proclaim His Greatness and All the Mighty Deeds He's done in my Life.

I am Not Alone :firewworks1:

You are Beautiful Beyond Description... Too Marvelous for Words....

posted January 01, 2016 11:00 PM            

And--- ...
Saddened to hear today that Natalie Cole passed away, December 31,2015.
http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Cole%2C_Natalie

(music) My Grown Up Christmas List (Natalie Cole, David Foster) [3:33] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOic7t1kZog

posted January 02, 2016 01:33 PM            

This is a test-post to see if it goes through before I endeavor a longer post today.

posted January 02, 2016 06:27 PM            

I wanted to post a reply here and it wouldn't let me (after post above). Waiting a few hours then at least read over in YW, but the computer won't let me "reply" to any posts.

Even THIS post might poof, too!! O sheesh, I really-sincerely hope not.

The post I did above at 1:33pm, I tried to view afterwards. It took until 1:50pm before that page loaded itself again.

At 2:00pm I was trying to post that I it took a while to load, and I "X'd" (stopped) my attempt.

Suddenly a tab opened itself and there was a youtube spinning, and eerily one of the "Jesus" songs I use started PLAYING itself!!! (Yes! that really happened!!)
(music) Bread Of Heaven (Fred Hammond, lyrics).....
You can find that one on your own in above-posts if you want.

I don't know if I should leave too many emoticons or URLS today. THIS post might not even appear after I hit the 'reply' button.

Funny piece of synchronicity today?? *jawdropping* Unbelievable LOADS of them that I want to talk about (but will wait until I know the posts will stick).

anyways!!.... I still haven't viewed all the vids I need to (and podcasts). So much to catch up on. I have resisted, because I want to give 'quality' attention to my quality heart-friends. What has happened now, is that I've seeing incredible VALIDATIONS for me. EERIE ones. Some of us are definitely Hearing the same things. It should (my posts) be a validation to YOU too! *Heart*

THE SUN starts January 1st on my Part of Marriage, and Part of Assurance in 10+ Capricorn.... The next Capricorn degree (Dec 2nd this year??) is 3241 YESHUHUA...Capricorn 11.32'37"rx = my JESUS-asteroid!!! near end of my first house.

If you know my chart, look that up for your self! It's true. LOL

To Pearlty: I caught your post in Poetry Thoughts, Pearlty. http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum17/HTML/002703-8.html

You. can't. IMAGINE the exhilaration I felt when you said that that man wants YOU to handle processing his manuscript to be 'published.' omg... Ring of Opportunity??? YAYYYYYYYYY!!!!! You'll run your own little poetry publishing business. You 'know' your stuff, for sure. (IF you'll please allow your beautiful-self to 'frame' it like that). Sooooooo proud of you! YES!!! YES!! Like that song by Sheena Eastern "Modern Girl" someone posted the other day in Astrology 2.0.... YOU will have the respect you so much richly worked hard for, and deserve. ~DO it, my Pearlty! *Gemmy Flower-Power* to you. LOL

So..... This is another *testing* post. Will choose to post any of my other diva-length postings when the internet connects better.

In the mean time...
I'm flowing, and will wait longer until things come into better and better focus. NOT impulsively 'jumping' just-anywhere. I'm holding-space until things are ready to start appearing and manifesting for me 'in' the material realms. I understand that once tVenus crosses tSaturn ONNNNNN my Ascendant, that things will be clearer?

I feel saturated right now and leave time for things to digest even more... Like I said, so much quality out there. I savor each one. Sooooo much to say.

Joy, and MUCH Happiness to All. *Heart*

posted January 04, 2016 03:02 PM            

LL has her Mercury retrograde at 1.58 Scorpio H11-libr, with tMercury CONJUNCT asteroid 2031 "BAM" in 1+ Aquarius. This is Mercury going retro as it squares natal Mercury-retro WHILE tMars crosses!

There's a WHOLE lot of other significances too, in the LL chart. -- Including that tSaturn in 11+ Sagittarius 'connected' with LL Pluto 11.35 Sag H1 ON the Ascendant at 11.27.

We've STILL got 'more connections' being made, Randall. So, this site might still be shaking a big.

__
I had a HUGE insight and psychological exposing for me last night. Definitely, the whole evening spent shopping with rm 'showed' me 'WHO' I really dealing with. It was a 'reminder', a painful kick in my butt of how he's an operator (and I want to stay kind and say it's unconscious on his part?, though, as I've said, I tend to 'see the best' in the worst situation--

This is a defense mechanism that keeps me moving in 'positive' waves. Yes, it 'is' my Strength.
--//

//
And please, know that I don't want to make negative posts. I am thinking positively towards a future that will work FOR me. (Still gotta catch up on lots and lots of vids).

///
I may not 'look' necessarily like someone that God uses, but I guess He chooses whom He pleases to-- confounds those who are wise in their own eyes (scripture)...

There IS a 'connecting' going on. A drummer drumming His Cosmic Drum, and WE are the Elegant Participants. WE are EACH on that cosmic email BCC!!! LOL *Heart*

I'll be back, God Willin' and the Internet not POOF! I have more to say--- heh what Gemmy doesn't?? LOL

posted January 05, 2016 12:38 PM            

Laughing, what I thought would kill me, has only blissed-out my Soul, my Musical Inspirational Muse. ... Soon the transiting Sun and Pluto will biquintile my OWN natal Pluto (which has the Part of Fortune, and all kinds of theatre/music/drama philosophical asteroids attached to it).

The ensuing NEW MOON in Capricorn at 19+ degrees is IN my 2nd House, ON my 2095 Parsifal (a figure of The Christ), P.O.DESTINY 19.35, and 3162 Nostalgia 19.45rx.

The Fixed Star Sheliak is at 18.16' zodiac Capricorn in my chart. .. Sheliak is the strings of the ancient musical instrument Lyre, and refs the mythical Orpheus (to whom Apollo gave the Lyre)....
(My asteroid 1862 Apollo at 28+Leo H8cancer conjunct 208 Lacrimosa {'sad songs say so much' *Elton John song*), h42 Zeus and 763 Cupido, 37452 Spirit 27+, Fixed Star Alphard 26.39' zodiac Leo, .... to my Pluto 24+ Leo with P.o.Fortune, DonQuixote, Melpomene, and Haumea. This degree ALSO quintiles my Juno Scorpio 4+ in the 11th.

Natal Pluto sextiles my Gemmy Mercury, and trines my NorthNode-GC Sag H1.

Asteroid 6583 Destinn (transiting) is 27+ Sag, on my mean North Node, past true NN.

Transiting Pluto in next degree 16+ Capricorn will be in contact with 69230 Hermes, 6583 Destinn, 429 Lotis (all retro) H2.

Today and for the next days, transiting Pluto visits my 15+ Capricorn. This is the 'crossover' point INTO my 2nd House at 15.48' Capricorn (Placidus, trop).

The wife of Chiron (the 'female' Chiron) is there. 385446 Manwe rx Capricorn 15.16'58" H2. With 10199 Chariklo 15.20' rx, and 3762 Amaravella 15.33'31" rx {moving on to bigger & better things; Visions of a wider existence, a 'brave new world' or Vision of One ref.mah).

Right now, the Scorpio Moon enters the depths of my H12... and is on my Child.

Wishing everyone a Brilliant Day!, as Sun crosses Pluto.

There are boundaries to be crossed~~ Make Them Beautiful in your Life.
http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Destinn,_Emmy

great czech soprano Emmy Destinn (1878 - 1930

posted January 06, 2016 03:21 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by mirage29:
Randall, In the LL Chart, the tNN is crossing from H10 to h9 ON MC 24.28 Virgo, tSN crossing IC at 24.28 Pisces.

LL has her Mercury retrograde at 1.58 Scorpio H11-libr, with tMercury CONJUNCT asteroid 2031 "BAM" in 1+ Aquarius. This is Mercury going retro as it squares natal Mercury-retro WHILE tMars crosses!

There's a WHOLE lot of other significances too, in the LL chart. -- Including that tSaturn in 11+ Sagittarius 'connected' with LL Pluto 11.35 Sag H1 ON the Ascendant at 11.27.

We've STILL got 'more connections' being made, Randall. So, this site might still be shaking a big.

__
I had a HUGE insight and psychological exposing for me last night. Definitely, the whole evening spent shopping with rm 'showed' me 'WHO' I really dealing with. It was a 'reminder', a painful kick in my butt of how he's an operator (and I want to stay kind and say it's unconscious on his part?, though, as I've said, I tend to 'see the best' in the worst situation--

This is a defense mechanism that keeps me moving in 'positive' waves. Yes, it 'is' my Strength.
--//

//
And please, know that I don't want to make negative posts. I am thinking positively towards a future that will work FOR me. (Still gotta catch up on lots and lots of vids).

///
I may not 'look' necessarily like someone that God uses, but I guess He chooses whom He pleases to-- confounds those who are wise in their own eyes (scripture)...

There IS a 'connecting' going on. A drummer drumming His Cosmic Drum, and WE are the Elegant Participants. WE are EACH on that cosmic email BCC!!! LOL *Heart*

I'll be back, God Willin' and the Internet not POOF! I have more to say--- heh what Gemmy doesn't?? LOL

Sending lots of Love....

---

posted January 06, 2016 10:40 PM            

Right now I don't feel as valued or treasured here as most in connection with other people, and yet I know that I am by a few and these count very much. I do my part-- and try my best. There are a few to whom I do and have made a difference in their lives. Some LL'ers have conveyed that message to me...

Still, the rift between myself and the world of outside others feels incredibly profound-- a gulf. Makes me question everything I've ever felt about who my clear and true friends are, leaving me to wonder suspiciously about the motives of others... and yet soooo deeply, another something inside me says that that's not a fair to say. That there are still folks who believe in me. That the persons who needed an 'out' to leave my life do weed themselves appropriately from my garden. They do it by their own hand. Lines are so fake and totally artificial. How can we really know what's true anymore. Drives a person right down to their knees, in search of the difference between what's fake or true, inside and out. The truth. It's subjective.

...Why keep trying?

I still remain with many of the wishes I still had. I'm not looking to be a Rockstar LOL. Maybe I don't have the 'capacity' to learn astrology like some of the talent I see rising in other students who vie for their own channels and positions. I'm not a youtuber. I'm not looking for the limelight, to be thrust in a glaring spotlight. I want God's spotlight-- the connection between Him and me growing more intense fuller and wider. I just want to be able to be my plain self, and eavesdrop in the background. To soak in the environment of cosmic learners, and to surprise myself to find that I might be able to add to the atmospheres of where I am and be.

Why do you kick so hard against the goads...
I don't know, Lord. Is it the hard head you gave me? Or how about this sensitive easily pained and isolated heart and existence?
Please guide me, show me. Show me your ways.

The 'tone' and ambience today is sober-somber-sad. Even defeated.
--
things just feel stuffy-hollow and brightly hurting... filled with a terribly degrading silence.
a 'still-deadplace' ... no breathing
and a far-remote expectation in accesses in my mind within
that there is a presence there and my biological purpose for life on this earth still holds. this life.

O, ~BUT GOD!... He makes everything Right.
God is in NO~ways tired nor finished with me yet!

posted January 06, 2016 11:10 PM            

Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater! That's gutsy-thinking and outside the crib!

There's good to be found in the Old AND The New. The old seasons and refines what's too new to really know itself. Yes, you take the essence, and reshape the form. That's exactly right. You've got it! Makes me want to cry!

Sometimes, we just have to dive DEEP into what we're looking at, in order to seize what that was, and bring it up and through, in order to see all in the correct light.

posted January 07, 2016 03:51 PM            

I learned MY lesson about this Mercury retros and this site (just saying that-- there were many other things astrologically going on that were 'extreme' too. But Mercury is quite important in my chart).

omg.... Mercury rules Gemini (communications)-- rules my Sun AND my Mercury-Gem placement, PLUS rules my Virgo Moon!! heheh.

If I didn't know and heed warnings about being careful before the website crashed?, I respect and KNOW THAT Now!!!!

posted January 08, 2016 01:32 PM            

Someone else told me the other day to watch out for liars and deceivers. I humbly thank them for that.

I was mindful as I watched the course of events happen. When it manifested itself, I saw what ALL have been directing in saying towards me. With my transits, I release the final energetic piece of that now, and with finality taking a deep sigh of relief that it's over, and I will be freer now to begin to chart a course for my life.

Breaking that now.....

Final sidenote to that lastso'caliperson that I hadn't QUITE made the final energetic break from-- my hopes had gotten pricked again, and I wondered if this was the break-through moment for me to pitch my idea to you. I had released you before, and now I see that it truly is 'not right' for ME. I would be only screwing my own self by giving you my Valuable practical money-making idea.
... I've been trying to tell you, to try to pitch an idea I've had IN me for well-OVER a year now.
I've done phone calls that never had the courtesy of a response.
Emails-- two of them went-through to you. I got confirmation. (The ones that didn't, got bounced back to me by the daemon-mailer return system).
... My idea for (that one) would have brought you actual money, and allowed you 'take' credit as a pioneer in a certain side-field of your endeavors.
(It's beyond me *knuckle-bite* that you have NOT thought of this for yourself? But I guess now, that's for ME to know, and you to find out, or find that someone else produces something comparable.) -- Actually? chances are very high that ~someone else somewhere will step up, and get that idea dropped upon them from on-High. The idea I've been holding for you-only is 'way~due' for coming out, being acted upon, then implemented.
.... I would have rather seen you get it, ...but we each have to make those little decisions that become our Final-incisions, (as you have prophesied in the past). It's just sad right now that much Saturn-time has passed.)
... Astro~logically? With your eleventh house planet, (and mine), I believed you could have had the LOA~vibe that would have gotten you both the government's and philanthropic backing for that project. If you're not catching that idea from this astro-hint, then maybe someone else (who knows my chart) will "Key" onto it for a marketing idea for someone-else's use.

posted January 09, 2016 12:58 AM            

We/I might stumble. But then, afterwards we recover our self. We come back to the Center of our Purpose, to Who and Whose we are and Belong.

Stay with the Love embedded deep inside, renewing and calming the mind and remaining with the Innerman of the Heart... Strife has no part of me. Strife, doubts, and all negativity must cease, flee, and depart.

I Choose to remain devoted to maintaining Love, to the best of my human frail ability-- God is the Strength of my life. Asking the Angels to help me deal with this, with my emotions and my deep feeling-self during this New Moon Capricorn 19.13'17" (Sat., 1/9/16 at 8:30pm EST).

I've already noted some of my placements during this New Moon Capricorn at 19+ involving Pluto (in above posts).

Pluto will be 15.21' Capricorn just before my H2 Capricorn cusp 15.48'21" (placidus, trop). Exciting... adrenaline?, (omg, my rm just wished me goodnight, and I ~JUMPED!!! LMAO).

Time for a song break!!... When I am most-afraid, I turn to some old gospel choir songs as I had been steeped in these atmospheres of music during some of the most frightening ordeals of my life before.

(yes, yes-- I thank some for their comments, and thank you for your understand and affection you've shown me. I'll ~"try" to keep a lid on it. But I do get very excited when I put on my praise songs, in a good way.

I'm showing/demonstrating (in my posts) one of the 'tools' I've use in my life -- when I feel stranded bleak and all alone with no other human by my side, I use the music to 'pray'.

... It's how I have personally survived by identifying what it is that's bothering me, then processing it, lifting up, then tapping into the divine. The music acts as an affect bridge, or bookmark in the spirit, where I can go, elevate, find refreshment relief or just the comforting presence. The prayers are Beautiful. They are Scripture. These are verses that have brought solace to many (no matter what the religion-- it's about the human experience).

The words (to gospel music) are basically holy scripture-texts mostly. So you grab a hold on your soul and learn scriptures while listening to these melodies, and marveling on the meanings of the words in rich harmonies.

This gospel song begins with the choir 'sounding' as though they aren't singing the right notes... (You know? We all can 'feel' a bit off-key, off-kilter sometimes in our walk of life.)

That's how it was artfully written, to paint the sound of anxiousness, the middle of being inbetween two places, wrestling and resolving back and forth to find the relief place to stand, and go forward when you can.

The tussle inside our souls mix worry fear and find that strength, and the standing affirmation of overarching faith and Promises.

This is a difficult song to do well, because the harmonies are very-very discordantly 'miserably?' tight. (Ah.... so ~intensively sweet to my deep ears'-- can almost hear the sound of 'aum' in it.)

These singers pulled it off! *smile*

The Lord is my Light and my Salvation...
Whom Shall I Fear? Psalm 27 (also, Psalm 91)

(music) Whom Shall I Fear (S. Tillery; The College Prep Choir Concert 2013; Psalm 27) [5:35] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgXmx8nEo4w

tMars 3+ Scorpio is conjunct 42 tIsis in 3+. In the next hours, tMars will cross-over tIsis. (I had my nIsis Return at 0 Scorpio over the 2015Christmas-NewYear2016 weeks.)

I have 1328 Devota-rx 3.57 Scorpio 11th, and then 908 Buda-rx 4.02' Scorpio H11 on my 9509 Amfortas-rx and JUNO-rx Scorpio. tMars is bringing me to some interesting energy places inside.

Of course, since between Christmas to New Years, tMars Scorpio has been trine my own Mars 2+ Cancer...
Placement conjunct Cancer 6776 Dix (Compassionate reformer that I think I knew in a past life, LOL), 3263 DeSanctis, 58534 Logos, 1790 Goode.
Trying to use my power to help lift burdens the best I can.
My Juno Scorpio (women, the disenfranchised, the powerless, the less-fortunate, the disadvantaged) H11 4+ trines 23110 EricBerne H7 4+ (author of I'm Okay/You're Okay)

I've been really feeling the stress of the astro climate at this time, along with many people. I'm not the only one. I urge the tenderhearted people to not abandon their life. Walk a few more steps, never give up.

Asking God to show Himself strong on my behalf, and to help strengthen everyone who needs assistance at this time.

Encourage. Speak Life....