posted October 31, 2017 11:59 AM            

I have my volunteer job today.....
Decided to put on a more dramatically gothslutty-style, heavier makeup-- layers upon layers. And, gaudy use of jewelry, and a bright orange delicate scarf, on a basically black outfit.

Lots of darker cheek contouring...

mwahhahahahhaah.

On the final touches, took a black pencil liner ... and drew upward gull-tips on the eyebrows.... yes... that's it. Then, a touch of the liner on the upper lip tip points. yeah... that's it!

I wanted to look a little meaner~trashier with my makeup... yet...... still be able to quickly blend it out IF the boss didn't like it?

I have a hunch that some parts of the office will dress more Halloween than others would be allowed to.

*Gotta STILL Look Appropriate, you know!!*

posted November 05, 2017 10:19 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by mirage29:
{sorry if I'm not able to be as active as I used to be}

Sending Lots of Love!

---

posted November 05, 2017 04:04 PM            

Cupcake for LL's Birthday (Nov 3)
And I know it's Lexxi's birthday too--
I'll have to visit the birthday threads when I can.

Was able to get some very early morning computer time (rm slept late).

Did some posting in Astral Dreams Forum.
Thread =
nightmare or song
{by LL Colorful butterfly}
- http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum15/HTML/004143.html

So anyways, if people go read 'nightmare or song' responses, you'll see recent posting about the effects of the Full Moon Taurus the other day.

Also... I always feel rewarded working on dreams with people in Astral Realms.

If you read...
I was working on Johnny Cash as a 'symbol' for someone.

You KNOW I love to be thorough!!
Well... of course, I included his natal chart. (And a few interviews and songs.)

Then I explored link to Johnny Cash daughter's chart, Roseanne Carter Cash.... and omg!!! I discovered that 'SHE' has my CHART!! *jawdrop*

There are slight (yet one aspect-major) differences.

She was born 5 days and 28 minutes ahead of me. The Ascendant is QUITE close. Her moon is Cancer (mine Virgo). Same positions for planets.... except that her Mars was 29+Gem. Mine slipped into early Cancer in those next few days.

Her 6th House Sun 'squares Pluto'.
My 6th House Sun makes no traditional aspects.

Her Venus is earlier than mine.
Apparently, Venus Taurus was running fast in those stilettos! *smile*

My natal Venus Taurus has the Saturn-rx Scorpio OPPOSITION.
Her Venus is sparsely connected except for the shared square we have to Chiron {her square is tighter}; and she has a biquintile to her Libra MC.
(Venus shares rulership over Taurus and Libra).
My own Venus has a quintile to Uranus Cancer.
(We share same Uranus, but her's is very late 24+degrees, while mine slipped into 25+.. 25.02.)

Her dad and my dad had both been in the Air Force.
We both had ultra-strict moms.

My mom absolutely BLOCKED my relating with my father. ...

In interviews I listened to, Roseanne {6th House SUN} said her dad wasn't the kind of father to make talk or suggestions-- that she had to 'ask' for his advice.... WHICH he was available for and had amply invested the time, talk, and attention INTO her life.

I listened to a few long interviews-- one at her age 30th birthday with Dave Letterman. The other was with Ellen Sussman, at an interview when she was 51 yrs old.

To hear her talk about two daughters {elder one was Goth! ..me too}, and that she had a 7 year old son. {I had married a second time, and we wanted a child-- he wanted a boy... but, thank God I didn't conceive, as I had to flee him, an abuser. I would have had a child close to that same age).

She had an ill-parent-- her dad, on drugs.
My mother was the ill-parent-- often hospitalized for bronchial disease, and hooked to uppers and downers, while on prednisone, which all added strain to her, increasing impulsive violence, outbursts, and mood swings.

She described music, and writing songs. as 'connecting her to a light-socket' and that 'that is GOD to me'.... She was able to plug in to a realm of God, THROUGH music.

My God.... Some of the things she said in the Sussman interview sound sooo much like me. Besides? Her voice sounds very similar to mine .. *smile*.

She had a best-friend named Brenda...
Talked about unique hair color choices she'd made in her life.. {me!}.

Spoke about her father's work ethic, integrity, and a religious devotion.

In one interview, she said the first dream when she was young. was to become an actress! (I laughed literally out loud).

She spoke of enjoying music composition.
{That was a talent I had had, too. ... Would have been interesting to get with her and compare WHEN 'she began really 'hearing' the music'...}

Earlier this afternoon, I had the time opportunity to watch some song vids she made in various places.

Some of the ways she is, some of her thoughts, have paralleled my own.

Here's Roseanne's chart...
- http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Cash,_Rosanne

~~And a few of the long video(s) I watched.
EXTRA MATERIAL--
Vids ONLY IF!!! (lol) you have time and want to watch these some time.

{Please WATCH the interview vids of her dad I left in Astral Realms Forum, for fuller appreciation. Link above.}

I know that's a lot of watching...
Mostly, I leave them here for my own chart-and-life comparison purposes. Just fascinating!

She is the FIRST celebrity twin chart to follow 'that closely' to my own placements.

(topic) Rosanne Cash (guest on David Letterman, Late Night Show) [10:28] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaxxobCbfDc
{haha, BTW my feet were much smaller! LOL}

(topic) Interview with Roseanne Cash (Guideposts, Sounds of Hope, Oct 2012) [6:12] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPY44VMCT78

(topic) Roseanne Cash interview (Balancing Your Life with Ellen Sussman, 2012) [25:03] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_RztKNkzFw

~~~~~

Right now, there feels as though there's an unravelling of sooo much about my life. (Full Moon Taurus to my Venus-Saturn OPP, last NM on my Neptune Libra)

And I live with someone right now who seems always irritated, someone (for 10 years) I have NOT been able to hold a deep conversation with.
(He prefers his own private self-company and thoughts. Just the way he's wired.)

I look at the differences between Roseanne's life (and dad), and my own ....

Her dad was her mentor, who HELPED her with her dreams and aspirations.

I had read before how people with Saturn H-11 can have had problems finding a mentor in an earlier part of their life, when it counted most.

Now, at age 62, I "feel" the effects of NOT having had that kind of personal ...

Yes, when I was in college, I had had talents that were recognized, and some professors had offered to collaborate (with music compositions I'd written that were close to works they did).
Even the philosophy department was ready to offer me a teaching-fellowship scholarship IF I would choose their program for my combined Masters-PhD.
Left school just one semester short of two separate degrees.
Never happened.....

So much never happened....
So much and many near-misses ....
(as I review life in general, and up UNTIL I reached out virtually, in the LL-World).

lyric
'Well I been afraid of changing coz I built my life around you...'
{fear, 'sense' of grief}

Again, the difference between Roseanne and me was the surmounting of fear and confidence-wins.

I became AFRAID of life --- like being afraid of the softball. (For a short time when I was on a team as a tween-ager. Got hit by a fly ball, and for a couple games afterwards, I would let easy fly balls bounce once on the ground first-- instead of catching them Beautifully in mid-air for an 'Out' on the opposing team.)

I made wrong choices.
I made wrong choices in spouses...

Today is the Wedding Anniversary of First one-- although, I'll cut myself some slack and add that he had a criminal background, and I didn't know that. --
.. Should have hired a detective?? ...
No. MY Friends and Family should have minded and suggested/pursued that?! ... I'm NOT a solo-act. There were people circles I was a part of-- and they ALL needed to share responsibilities of watch and care... to warn if they knew something, OR if they intuitively picked up on things that I might miss-knowing.

# No more isolation. *crickets*

And yes, I'm getting older???
I might not be feeling as well as I would like to these days... in fact, I'm miffed that it limits me from many activities right now.
I know that when the environment is Right, that I feel better. I relish those times.

Older-people deserve Life Renewals too...

along with gratefulness for some reveals and (hopefully) life-healings I've had over the past few days.

(music) Landslide (Stevie Nicks, perf by Dixie Chicks, lyrics) [3:44] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldofh38CAVU

posted November 05, 2017 10:04 PM            

Shooting at Sutherland Springs Church
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sutherland_Springs_church_shooting

First Baptist Church of Sutherland Springs
November 5, 2017 Sunday
11:30 a.m. CST
216 4th Street,
Sutherland Springs, Texas {US}
29.16'24″ N
98.03′23″ W

Quote Wikipedia--
Twenty-six people were killed
and 20 others were injured.
Twenty-three died inside the church,
two outside,
and one in a hospital.
he ages of the victims ranged from 5 to 72.
The Sunday service is usually attended by approximately 50 people.
Several children,
one of them the 14-year-old daughter of church pastor Frank Pomeroy,
were killed,
as was a pregnant woman

Shooter
Devin Patrick Kelley (age 26)
born February 21, 1991
died November 5, 2017

- http://everipedia.org/wiki/devin-kelley-1/

*Wikipedia updates/corrects its information as it is received. Refresh browser.

posted November 06, 2017 05:22 PM            

It's the 10-Year Anniversary (2007) of materially Initiating my interest in Astrology with printing out my First Chart.

In 2007, at age 52 5 mos, I found an online website that calculated charts, and printed out this purely sky-blue color natal wheel.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Probable Time? 3:30 p.m. Eastern Time

I used that time at first just approximate.
I know it was later afternoon here when it got printed.

Sun Scorpio 14.02'32" ...
ON my 'Part of Astrology' at 14.22 Scorpio!
It's also called 'Part of Eccentricity'? ...
hmmmm. Brightly, Okay!

tSun is on my "Linda" Scorpio H11 opp "Goodman" Taurus? H5 ...

posted November 07, 2017 10:07 AM            

During the time the Moon changed to Cancer, and Venus went into Scorpio, I was in the most nutritious part of my sleep cycle. I get the better-rest closer to wake-time. Been that way my whole life.

Anyway, I woke up after the most Delicious busy productive thoroughly satisfying dream... even having found someone with a genuine real Love interest in me on a job I was doing in an office, as part of a favor I had done for someone or a project.
Wow. .. haha Hey, fits my chart!

Putting my own pleasures aside here...

I am aware (and empathically touch the fringes of) the amount of GRIEF there is, the LOSS that others have right now, IN this season, as we approach the Holidays and Holy Days.

I just want to cry sometimes, because I've had losses myself, and I've spent MUCH time alone without a family, and even feeling like 'the stranger' among a more homogeneous tribe of strangers.

I feel a kind of 'hurt' FOR these right now, who will be facing holidays with broken homes-- literally, through having been in earth-events and needing to physically rebuild, to losses of families death and forced separations.

Thanks for advices....
I do trying to maintain 'a spacer' or float zone between me, and the present heavy grief blanketing this earth. It's good to be able to know (in part) what others are going through... for whatever Good that can do, in whatever Moments.

Kept seeing the number 26 being prominent.

I looked up asteroid 26 .... Proserpina.

Right now, Proserpina is in 11/12 Scorpio today. Sun is 15+ Scorpio. USA has just had tMelancholy touching her MC.

I would love to indulge in asteroid finds I've had over the past days... but I don't have that kind of time right now.

Found this song ...
It is dark... but paints a song-impression of what some people may be feeling (regarding griefs) right now.......

I 'sit with ALL of you' ... Holding Space in your Losses.
I offer Condolences, .... deeply.
I Hope you find Comforts and Hopes.
I pray that you find Beauty in your Lives...
that you Celebrate the Little-Things, any Holiday Light that would sparkle. A Candle's Flame.

May all these things... Lift the Burdens you would feel after a period of mourning right now.

You are all strangers, yet WE are Common Citizens Sharing in our Collective Strange Dream.

Know that Someone Cares about you.....

energy expression of 26 Proserpina
{this is a dark song}

(music) Proserpina (Kate McGarrigle, sung/performed by folk-singer daughter Martha Wainwright) [4:14] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CfwGwhcycI

Sending you Comforts, Hugs ....
So soooo sorry for your Losses

(music) How Do I Live Without You (Celine Dion) [4:03] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI5zsO7SA8I

Breathe... and Live!
May you Find LIFE in the small things...

*Holding You... In Love *

posted November 10, 2017 02:23 PM            

That really satisfying dream I'd had a few days ago? ... I found a video-article that HAS a piece of that symbol in it.

I was in the car with this person. He was driving the car on the road which had an Infinity Pool line ahead of it. Scared me because I wondered if he knew. For a moment I thought he would drive over this cliff, but he took a right turn onto a road that paralleled that line.

...

- h ttp://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/whats-hot/this-video-of-people-swimming-to-the-edge-of-a-338-foot-waterfall-in-zambia-is-going-viral/ar-BBEHaRg?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=spartanntp

Anyways....

I've been feeling good, yet at same time, soo tired (even needing more sleep that usual. I too, was a child that my mom gave up on laying me down for naps! LOL).

The chronic headache doesn't go away...
It's a new variation of rawness or less-rawness.
Some days it turns into migraine (depending on what's going on).
When the migraine affects my sight (visual) it's soo frustrating. But I notice that if I DO get frustrated and trying to fight against it, that this only leads to (perhaps) making more rounds of them. (They are looping-kinds, where one might actually be causing the next. My task is to just 'let down' my fight-energy and turn it into a 'breezeway' kind of clump of moments...)

I had a blast on Halloween night. I actually created an outfit and used a fancy lace bronze-gold colored shawl I had like a mantilla, and fashioned a purple tissue-paper square on top of my head, to give the general impression of a peineta (decorative Spanish comb... looking like a piece of tiara.

I carried around a realistic stuffed black cat (sold by Avon a handful of years ago). If you press a special place on his paw, the cat's tail flails around, his eyes glow a bright laser green, his head dances around. He's draped with an orange shawl and a black hat, and has his own little carved pumpkin head.

haha, youtube has everything!!

(music) Black cat, green glowy eyes, and song [1:09] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJDyDt6jWSk

I walked around the 'hood with the cat, in a MOST friendly manner, wishing each a Happy Halloween.

By 'happy halloween' I was ACTUALLY giving the greeting of 'happy PLAY day'... People would pat the kitty, or little children give the very plush animal a loving-squeeze. Lot's of 'good vibes' went into the kitty, and were exchanged between people in the 'hood. So yes, people are in the afterglow right now here, and feeling happier with each other than usual---
{Other side thing?
This 'hood has had a warm yellow-tan color for more than 35 years....
The buildings are having molds and mosses and old dirt pressure-washed steam-cleaned (including my little entry and walkway, YAY!!!).
They started painting the buildings in a VERY dark grey color.... but the maintenance men approached the land manager and said that was just TOO dark?, and the manager allowed the color to be lightened to a brighter ash-grey, with steel-grey blue trims. {YAY to the maintenance guys!! *thumbsup*}

This 'hood is getting a REFRESHING facelift. Little (ugly stale) messes are being forced to clean up in order to 'look orderly' and spruced.

This is lifting the general spirits of people here? There are many here now, who have been (we have been) together for a handful of years (and more).

heheh, sounds like approaching Saturn to Capricorn shortly? ... ahhhhh. This is GOOD!

Back to Halloween----
I mean that holiday in a very shallow way... I know that many celebrate it to party and have a GOOD time. I do NOT celebrate the 'religion' part of that day... the serious things that have happened to actual-live persons I have known in my life were NOT a joke, or anything 'cute'.

I've met several souls who had been "used" by satanic cult individuals in their lifetime. These persons are the vile, lower than lows -- Pervs that 'use' children ... and IF the children try to 'tell' authorities, their stories are sooo "incredible-sounding" that parents and close-caregivers dismiss these stories as belonging to a child's imagination. In the PAST, doctors were NOT under obligation to 'report' suspected abuse to lawful-authorities. Or maybe, it was JUST too 'cognitively dissonant' for the parents, or authorities, or Society to take IN and process, and DEAL WITH IT in a 'concrete' way.....

But it's REAL, and I am aware of the story that this had happened to a vidder that others hold in esteem. (I am not within her group, but DEEPLY, she IS 'sister' to me because of her woundings.... *sad*.
.. Her ordeal was REAL....
.. I've been in group therapies where I've heard and witnessed and just 'sat' with ALL that I've ever heard. ... And I am truly grateful that I had had the opportunity to be with them---- NO Child should ever have to suffer that, NOR to hold that INSIDE themselves for decades and years....

I am touched by all the stories in the news since the "#MeToo" campaign took start. ... Actually, it was the "Sandusky Trial" that I think BEGAN a turn of the tide for victims.... I vehemently condemn the action that some members of the Republican-Party are endeavoring to maneuver right now-- working on a REVERSAL(?) of the findings AND due-punishment of those involved in the Sandusky ordeal.....

ALL the abuses people reported .... are repressed/squashed things that take MUCH courage (and self- and social-kindnesses) to overcome--

that is,
IF you want to call it over-coming?
Who can really HEAL from such a thing? .... *crickets*

Some things, only GRACE can help overcome....
Things "perpetrated" BY the 'free will' of men (not to exclude women), of adults, and of those in positions of authority with the POWER to TOTALLY ruin another person's WHOLE lifetime (in whatever ways-- for some MORE than others ------ hashtag, MeToo).

And perps can be closer than some think......

Chilling information in the DARKEST seams and cracks of our DAILY life, existing simultaneously as the 'lovely life' and families that some have for their everyday Reality....

But for the Grace of God.... go most of ye, unawares

Since I brought that up (from a very distant past, thank God), I also etherically acknowledge those who have been in the fight to rescue others from human trafficking, and children (inside of adults) who live with the haunts of what happened to them, no matter what degree of violation it was.

I am fringe-aware that I have witnessed some of these things (of others), and had "NO" way to report, back in those years. ...

I am in Gratitude for Awareness Programs now (the ones started in the past??... ARE having fruit NOW in the present-day).

I am grateful for law-enforcement who 'cleaned up' a lot of spots here in my locale.... They worked DILIGENTLY at it... Sometimes things work slowly-- but has a long-term effect.

And inside me, I mourn for the women (AND boys) who still stand on certain 'hood corners.....
{May you be Freed from that 'chain' and indebtedness, and have your lives restored 'as though it never happened'.}

To ALL those SOULS
{I'm so sorry that happened to you.... ALL the ones that would have been referenced with this post. ... A part of me weeps for you... for your Loss in life.
And I have incredible admiration for you for not giving up, and having survived it. ...}

posted November 11, 2017 11:11 AM            

Some of you, I could just cry because I'm so grateful that you add input into my life. Yes, I still DO have allies. And I love you all for it! Humbly, gratefully, thank you soooo much!

I'm trying to do my best at reading my own astro roadmap. (You KNOW I cannot afford personal readings or coaching.)

I'm looking over the 4 main goddess energies as well as the planets/luminaries, for December and into next year.

Right now, there are some EXACT squares and oppositions and ... well... just a LOT, like LOADS of transits, sooo mixed-messaged with quintiles, trines, yet square square squares.

Neptune squaring my ASC/DESC right now ... and will be for a while.

Chiron??? oh duh. ROFL

My 'humanitarian astrology idea' seems to still be lasting...... I'm TRYING to scratch out information on 'the how's' ... saw DP doing a seminar talk, and he mentions having had to invest in computer-companies in order to set up his own apps.

The idea I've had for more than several years now, might be able to fall into receiving some Grants? ... But, this is SOOO much BIGGER than me... I boggle!

Whether or not my idea would work (in the end product), I'm not certain... yet, in some ways, is kinda blatant that it 'might'?? ROFL ...

Part of the journey would be the exploration with others.

Like what going to choir practices are like... compared to the performance in public. You spend weeks learning, practicing with others, forming friendships.. having experiences together. When the audience hears the final product, that only scratches the surface of 'what happened' with the bonding and dynamics of the whole group.

So....
Yes, I've having Neptune deceptions?
Or,
Could it actually be Humanitarian and do some honor to the 'science' as well as art?

I'm willing to be wrong.... but wouldn't it be fascinating if it turned out to actually WORK for Good, for the Many ....

posted November 11, 2017 11:22 AM            

I mean, like, how "vain" can I be (or get) that people with close to 1/4 million viewers would actually have 'that much interest' in one sole soul blogger here? ...

But yes, and so yes, I indulge what could be fantasy.... and 'flow' with it.

TOO many to thank.
I DON'T want anyone's feelings hurt that I didn't mention them.

Right this minute...
Sam Geppi-- THANK YOU for your recent (Vedic) Saturn vids. Yes, it's not about working to overcome Saturn, but working IN it, WITH-IN it. (I do 'get' what you say.)

.. Saturn has been dogging my chart for YEARS? It seems to track with my Progressed Moon, especially.. since my (western) P'Moon was in Libra when I began study. Then I went through Saturn Scorp return (with eclipses!! LOL).

tSaturn is still traveling in my H1...
until 15+ Capricorn.
tPluto has been in my H2 Capricorn.
tNeptune in intercepted 3rd. (with Chiron)
tUranus in H4

Now? sheesh!! I'm going to come back and add
Okay, I'm back...

When Saturn goes into (western) Capricorn for Christmas (still H1), it is going to catch up and still be following my Progressed Moon Capricorn!
O What Cruel Sky Chaperone???! *Looks* ...
{nah, laughing. Just kidding, SG.
*sense of humor, and poking fun at myself*}

Not sure if this is another repressive influence on my soul? .... I'm already sorta a workaholic (that doesn't get paid?? LOL)... Gotta focus and hone (maybe even discover more of) some Talents.

I was thrilled to (even just) hear that health is due to 'get better' for (Capr/Sag ASCs). These symptoms I've been having are so confusing... (Headaches, and have gut-involvements -- I mention, only because some of you, in your 'general readings' are SOOO accurate it's spooky.) Must be my transits??? *crossing fingers*

For me, I pretty well know the touch and go energies for my health. I just pray for extra protections over my health for the next year. If the transits don't manifest in a physical body way, it will be really good for my investing my own time (hopefully with some help or collaboration) with working to see if my astro-idea would have Merit.

Technically, I "should"(????) *laughing* .. have worked on it when Jupiter was at e.o. my Gemini 7th, then entered Cancer a few years ago... then while Jupiter went through Virgo. I "should" *extra-hard laughing, at word 'should'* ... have been making Right connections through Jupiter in Libra.

The idea "would have been" through the testing and being implemented now. The Publishing of initial reports (for yay or nay) would have happened by the time Jupiter had entered Libra.... (just liberally guessing at what timings there would have been).

I WOULD have dearly wished it could have been implemented? ... I directly and definitely "SEE" how and where it 'could have been used' in a successful way, right NOW, with the world and events going on.

Like I said, this would not be for Entertainment purposes.

Just couldn't get anyone to respond with tangible (real direct) communications to me. (Would have made THE MOST logical sense... IF y'all could have 'put yourself' in MY shoes, and really thought about it?)

I understand that many have to 'protect' and wall themselves off from flakes out there.

I'm not a flake.
I'm not a gold-digger.
I'm dreamy poetic metaphysical??? Spiritually-oriented person, AND 'the real deal'.
I might not always make my words come out right? ~~~~ LOL
But let them who 'have an Ear' Hear 'who I am'...

Recently, I was kinda shocked seeing something that I kept overlooking as being 'just in the mythology' .... but they meant it 'for real', as a new emphasis they want to take astrology back into (roots).

I do have personal energetic real boundaries ... and you might Understand most of why and which ones those are if you read through yesterday's posts.
{Those first 4 or 5 sentences look confusing (even to me)! LOL... It must be for you too? ...
.. I'm afraid to 'fix those sentences' because of computer-glitching that was going on.
.. Sometimes I try to edit posts, and though it 'seems' to be corrected for a day or so, sometimes the corrections revert BACK to pre-edited versions.

.. I heavily apologize for not having taken EXTRA EXTRA proof reads sometimes..
.. And (in my own defense), I don't always have the best environment here (*sonics*) to concentrate. (Of course, with a touch of a bit of some ADD at times makes it THAT much more self-frustrating? *Heart*)
.. AND it's a shared computer situation (for which I am deeply grateful to have access). Rm is retired and at home all the time now. We are learning how/where we can share important times. *thumbsup*

.. Sometimes when I go to proofread here, before submitting, I tend to shrink-back and delete the post,
OR a lot, to edit my text TOO HEAVILY.... SOOO heavily that it 'confuses' the Voice of the post.

haha, Maybe that's a skill I can work on.

Wanted to make special mention to Scott in UK-- ~~Dude! Did you know you'd make a great counselor??? {Thanks. And Tilly!}

Oh no. I don't want to get into my list of FANTASTIC people I've come across the vids. I've mentioned some of you other ones before (even in other forums), and I hope it pinged you in some way.

So... Just a heads-up? ..

tMercury through Sag will be activating some 'slippery slopes' for me, as I have Sun Gem, and a Later Mercury Gem? Looks like Mercury-Sag Return will be walled with Saturn (on my NN), and OPP my natal Mercury-Gemini. I THANK SOME OF YOU SOOO MUCH for your ENCOURAGING me to 'SAY' what's deepest in me to SAY. Thank you for that trust.

Of course..... I want to 'do all speeches and Words' to all, "Perfectly?" .... *rolleyes* ROFL

Thank you (some) for tolerating, allowing me to make mistakes, AND still deciding I'm 'under your wings' (in-training) and still in your virtual 'oversight' circles.

I Appreciate You, with REAL Joy from my Heart.
And....... I'm Worth It! (laughing)

{{sheesh, okay. I WISH I could do this...
I have asteroid Terpsichore {body coordination, dancing?} close to my Chiron Aquarius... "I'm a Wounded Dancer???" !!!!!!! hahahah.
---
I WISH I could Dance, but it's a limitation. (Except for a ballroom dancer competitor Uncle I had, so told me I Follow Leading well-- and my problem is that I needed a good Leader! LOL).
I've sweated it and was successful in a little fairy celebration dance I was lynched-forced into performing for that opera I sang in in college (in the chorus).
(There had been a terrible flu that took the State, AND most of the 'fairy woodland creatures' choir had casualties... from 20 down to just 4(?) of us? The show went on, OF COURSE!!
I was *told* that I was going to HAVE to dance. In the practice room, I repeated the very-simple little dance "50 times!!" -- not kidding. (I can't seem to coordinate 'thinking' AND 'movement'. Walking and chewing gum??? LOL)
.. Got on stage, and did it 'perfectly'--- and I've still got the PTSD flashes and willeys??? (~exaggerating maybe a bit), from having ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISHED IT, last-minute!!!) omg... LOL!!!!!! ...

So... I stick to performing it GREAT 'In My Imagination-Videos'!!! LOL}}
---

HUGS for All...

(music) Worth It! ..(Fifth Harmony, Fitness Marshall Cardio) [3:43] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOkBrurM9G4

tSaturn will be ON my North Nodal degrees starting the day before the NM Scorpio at 26.19 (on November 18, Saturday, at 6:42 am).

NM is in my H12, and will trine my Jupiter-Uranus Cancer H8, from the H12. And sextile that Moon Virgo H(9) .... So at least THAT'S a Positive??? Rofl.

The rest of my chart??? *shakes her head* looks like a mess! for a long time.

tSaturn is squaring my Moon...
My Moon is at the 'bendings' in my chart (squares the nodes), and is in the condition of 'intercepted' in my H9.

I am not as aware of my Guides, as some people are?

And I just want to say, that if God has something else in Mind for me, that I am Willing to relinquish Control ... I place my Idea/Project, my WHOLE Life, IN His Care.

Draw in the Right People and Groups that I am meant to be with and TO myself.

Showers of Heavenly Sparks on those who are 'now' still here.

I walk on the Lighter side ...

Blessings over the ones who choose (or Guides direct) to Depart at this time ...
My Soul humbly thanks you.

All Illusions brought to God's Feet ...
For Clarity, and Right-Relating, and for the Purpose of a Higher Humanity.

I just want to Do the Right Thing...

So....
Today Mercury square Neptune.
While Jupiter (over optimism) trines Neptune.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to get to the bottom of all of this.

Lord! Show me if/where I'm Wrong?
Guide me to what is Right....

Dispel Confusions ....
Help me to take the Responsibilities You Want Me Too....
Relieve me of the things that weigh too heavy-down.

You know My Heart...
You have written Your Name on my Heart,
with my own name inscribed on Your Hand.

posted November 11, 2017 04:22 PM            

Having been the daughter of one who served in the military his whole life, I honor the sacrifices (and fears) that the family goes through when loved ones are called into war, or riot zones, and extreme weather and world events that call the Lion away during times you need the Brave ones closest.

You family members, even the children, are ALL honored members in the Company of The Brave.

Thank you Soldiers and Families for your Sacrifices.
Thank you for 'lending' them to us.
Thank you for your Commitment that Keeps Us Safe.

For the Parents and Grandparents too....

May You Always Have Heaven's Special Protections

posted November 13, 2017 10:10 AM            

So... Thanks for all your positive comments left on various threads I've participated in.

Right now??, part of my OWN challenge is to NOT throw in the towel, by acting to throw all my stuff away in the dumpster. (I'd be sealing my own fate doing that.)

I myself, need to KEEP thinking things are Possible, even if HARDblunt-reality right now says 'nothing is happenin', nothin' is goin' to happen'...

I feel (in a large way) that I've reached the top limits of what I can do... Everything just looks TOO huge for me...
And like my energy has been being siphoned-off.
I NEED to pull that in, some how.

Speaking of which....

Oh. Rm is buying himself a NEW car some time in the coming few weeks. He'll be off on adventures... He's actually a gay man, who has been out of the loop for a decade (since he had his stroke and was disabled for a year, when I came here to {basically} take care of him).
.. He will be free and able to haunt some of the places he used to. It will be good for him to go off and socialize. Start a New Life, and have some friends who are into the same things HE is.

He thought of going to see family for thanksgiving, but no one's preparing. He mentioned instead going 'Home' to be with his relatives for the Christmas Holidays this year. It will be his first Christmas off... (At work, he just never reached seniority enough to ask for that time off.)

So.. {heh} He's pacing like a caged animal right now.. ewwww, dagger-eyes? awwww. Not going to take it personally. He's just frustrated. I'm trying to have my boundaries set with him. I'm not going to accept some of that negativity from him. haha.
.. awwww.
I know his is in a peak 'anger' transit.
.. And, ROFL, his BEHAVIORS are potentially torqueing ME off, too!!! Hey!!!!
.. I can hardly wait for him to get his car, and fly!!! *Heart* GO!! ROFL
At least, he has the income now to afford one... VERY EXPENSIVE!

posted November 14, 2017 11:44 AM            

I had NO idea of the 'true'-origins of (western) astrology. That, and corroborating information that I 'uncovered' during these past two weeks, have been truly eye-opening for me. I am sooo Grateful.

I know some very GOOD people...
Even if we walk in a Different light.

I found a youtube last night that is filled with vignettes and information that deepened my earthly-knowledge of 'what' some precious and very dear people are into...

I could write volumes right now, based on what I believe and think is a huge 'error', a tiny tiny huge 'error', a Pholus (asteroid) kind of error that these originators and wonderful pioneers of the late 1800s had made, which developed their own new religious thought-system (but they didn't call it religion).

I do not fault the people involved at all (as I have a Mercury Gemini South Node)... I KNOW what hunger for knowledge and playing with ideas is all about?

It was an HONEST error, a 'common sense' kind of mistake. A turning and crafting of very interesting thoughts. It all makes perfect earth-kind of sense-- Natural Law, which can STILL be absolutely incorporated, and which works; but, because their notions were empty for building their theories upon ignoring a key and essential-fact and happening from over 2000 years ago, .. then now, that error still tands.

I read an article the other day about someone (who's birthday it was) who had had a theory that stood for decades around that same period of time... but someone came along and found 'an error' in the formula they had used (and that all the other sciences and mathematicians based their thoughts and work upon).

So cool the way some of the thinking OF that time period is NOW being either affirmed, proven wrong, or expanded upon... Like Einstein's theory recently.

I think we are all after the same thing...
That we want to be safe, be healthy, have what we need for ourselves to be happy.
We all (basically most) want Peace in our homes, and in anything related to us...

The different changes right now, that have gone back and forth, about religions have been fascinating. For a while, people were being marginalized for their Belief-systems, being made to feel as though they need to 'compromise' to NO religion.

But no... the idea is for True tolerance.
And there are SOME notions that need NOT to be regarded in any kind of tolerating way.
There HAVE to be certain lines of division and separation, for the Good of All.

KKK, and Third Reich, and those who support the Abuse of Women, and tell them they have to shut-up in the churches, and in society need to be VERY MUCH looked at, and Carefully Evaluated.

America (USA) right now is looking very very Finely at HOW it wants to BE in the next 250 years....

I am encouraged by the recent notions I've seen about the Senators... (H11 Scorpio for USA) to RETURN that Legislating Body TO a Sense of Nobility, purged from those who seed things that are NOT Godly representation of US. My heart has felt as though it were being held hostage TO the unrighteousness, and ugly ugly corruptions that have been going on.

Even in the churches..... The leaders of these MUST look HARD at their OWN self, and the things in their OWN HOUSES that are NOT noble, NOT Godly. Truly, Repentance BEGINS in the House of God, WITH the Head-- those in leadership. They right NOW, walk under sword of Damocles. .... you first.

I've ALWAYS seen God in every single astrological symbol. God protected me in that way? ...

Even in oracle and divination, I see The Lord's Hand at work....

Someone recently said.... Rejection for Protection. {{thank you soooo much}}

My Soul is Dedicated. I've walked this earth for 62+ years now, Protected by Him in EVERYTHING. I have always chosen the path of integrity, and have gone through horrible terrible times where I even was at death's door and was subject to UNLAWFUL abuses in it (where if there had been cameras present, those would have been JAILED, and prevented from causing anyone else harm.... It was not 'just me'.... I was my own witness and GOD saw me through it, even in HORRIBLE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE suffering, as a CAUSE for making The Right Decision.).

I am ALWAYS interested in the Things that are Above....

And if I Be Rejected right now BECAUSE of my Belief System, ... it's okay. I gently capitulate.

I would CONTINUE seeing Jesus when I see the Symbol for Neptune.

I always see God as the Sun-Host above the Chalice Cup when I view the Symbol of Pluto.

Saturn is The Cross, over a semi-circle .... inviting ALL to Complete that Circle by ACTS of Goodwill towards Each Other. Actions, that Help Others ...

These recent events in weather and earthquakes, are showing that there's a leveling ground between the rich, and the poor. I've seen the rich in breadlines, and receiving charity now, alongside the poor.

God is Good... ALL the Time
And ALL The Time ...
God Works for Good ... because He LOVES, and GOD-Himself IS the Spirit of Love, shed abroad IN our Hearts, and FROM the DEEP ... always from the DEEP...

There is NOTHING that can Separate from the LOVE that GOD has.

We can walk the wrong journeys, in Innocent error, and STILL Qualify as a Child of the Divine.

GOD does not Discriminate, or Hold Back the Goodness He has....

We, who say we are of The Light, who walk IN and Under His Sun 'Belong'.

In His Safety, there is NO Shadow... for his Shadow IS Light.

I Pray for the Return of Consciousness of Light among ALL.

We will treat everybody Right, when we are Filled WITH that Light-Within, the Truth, The DIVINE that He planted as a living spark inside EACH Heart-- to be Ignited, with Love ...

Love for GOD...
And Demonstration of Love for One Another.

This is a Time of Reflections... and Giving Thanks for what we have in our Lives.

This morning, upon awakening from sleep into the Day, I was AGAIN just FILLED with Praise and Thanksgiving for the family He had me Born into... It was a Godly family, whose influence surrounded me then with Faith. I wandered around, God Took Me into a FABULOUS Journey, a MARVELOUS Walk in my Lifetime.....

And I Give HIM Thanks and Praise ...
He NEVER abandoned me, and was WITH me through it all.....

I just feel a humbling (that is without self-putdown).

God is Able ...

posted November 15, 2017 04:44 PM            

There's a vidder (and I prefer not to name names.. but Sam G.) who did an excellent topic on youtube.
'Shared Karma-- The Breath, The Earth-- Don't Die Here Like A Worm' ..

He adeptly describes the different levels of reality as he has come to Understand it. (Didn't see the other two vids he had done before this one.)
Info was Clear, and Excellent.
Brought me to a tear or two (good tears).
Lasted for over an hour, too! LOL... And worth it.
Unfolded what he wanted to say...
Very keen and sharp and WELL explained. So grounded.
I could only aspire to have been able to consistently abide and walk at that level of groundedness, clarity, and Love.
You've worked so hard for it. (just, ty.)

:snowflake: ....

I do recognize that because I can perceive it, that, this 'chamber' is an aspect in me too-- otherwise I wouldn't have heard its echo and resonated to it.

I had been straightening parts of my apartment the other day, with thoughts of what else I would be willing to part-with in order to just get more space, more breathing room in here. I came across my hardcopy copy of the B'Gita, in its own protective bag. Brought back sooo many memories from long-past-- good ones.

{Laughing at myself}.
During my college years, I had a steady part time job at night at an old movie theatre...
(The historic building had once been a popular stop for vaudeville at turn of the 20th Century--- Much later, this building was converted into a movie theatre by erecting a screen on the front of the stage.
.. I worked as their box-office cashier in the 1970s.
It was a second-run theater. We normally had two showings per evening. I'd get a solid hour in between, to use as study and homework time.
.. In the subsequent two years, I valued and utilized this time for my 'free' personal-reading time. ..

I had been looking and contemplating pieces of the B'Gita-- at the same time as tackling the Seth materials, AND carefully read through Autobiography of a Yogi (P. Yogananda). I expanded my vocabulary greatly, reading his book. Looked up each word I didn't quite know, so I could get the nuance of it. He was a very erudite man.

.. It seemed my consciousness was trained for it? I felt the tug, the beckoning... My consciousness apparatus was 'ready and waiting', already set and 'open', in-place for each reading session.
.. I devoured this material. I wore it DEEP inside me. My spirit, always hungry to Understand the deepest meanings. Like a review actually. Like a review.

~

I've been having wispy flashes of things I had been-through and got-done-with in parts of my life. No drama or trauma-- just info. LOL!!! ... I was surprised by 'how much space/time' has gone by from 'what I went through then' during that trial of life, to Now.

I guess that's a ~weirdness that must come with growing or being older. ..About having crossed so many Time bridges.
So much Water under the Bridge......,
The InterKosmic Bridges as well.
*Universal Cosmic-Crickets* LOL

And sometimes I don't know if I'm preparing for end-of-life event? .. or .. that maybe this is all just part of the preparations one goes through as they realize how much life (kronos/chronos) they have lived?

*Star Trek announcer voice*
Space.... the Final Frontier

All I know is how REAL life is.
How REAL life has been.

How- LONG it has been ... Being a live Etheric biological being, in a responsive solid Earth Suit! LOL

How- everything is an Empty-Space, all void, spent, yet sooooo Incredibly Filled by the Invisible.

How- alone one can feel in the Universe,
and, we ARE alone-yet-not
... mmmm. Both?!

All that fills my deep Image, the innerVision, is a Backdrop of The Cosmos. Of Beautiful Space.

I'd had many night-dreams of Space at periods in my lifetime. I was working in EtherSpace. Geometric Frames. Bent invisible curvings that my senses could feel... like whiskers of a cat, like an extension where you place your foot out to feel where or if "That' had a Limit? Where was the Line? How did that Line fall or bend, or did it?

The other day, I had gone to my ephemeris to look something up, when I found notes I'd written of events I had found in my journal and thought to pencil in the margins.

It's coming up on my "Pink Tiles" Dream anniversary, Nov. 17, 1980. I'm thinking of the eclipses we've had in past year, and looking in-and-around at the patterns from late 1970s to a little past that Dream.

(I'm going to have to find that dream/event {a temporary kundalini possible-moment?} in the pages of this thread somewhere, so I can link to it, rather than rewrite.)

~

At my volunteer-job yesterday, they were SURE to invite me to the Annual Harvest Celebration they hold for their Volunteers each year. They really make a big deal out of it, decorations, food... I had told them last week that I couldn't get transportation that went TO that place.
.. TWO of my Gemini-Suns with Gemini-Mercuries stepped up to bat. They said that if I can get close enough TO the place by bus, and then call them, they would have a Ride for me there expediently! LOL.
.. I comically 'handed them' the ziplock baggie with my obamacellphone preserved in it, gave-up-and-said, 'Here-- program your numbers for me?'. (They had been trying to scribble numbers on small post-its. Then they too, called themselves, and registered my cellphone INTO theirs.
The Leo Moon Gemmy grabbed it first, with enjoyment.
Ah hah!! All Fixed. ...
My one (older) Gemmy-boss with Cappy Moon said to me, SEE... I'm a Fixer! the office Fixer!
She even figured out how to put my 'name' on any outgoing calls or texts I'd make.
{*wipes brow* *eyes to heaven*
*mouths the words 'o thank you' ROFL}

~~ There were some other QUITE surreal events that happened that same morning. I may (or may not) share it later.
(I've got errands tomorrow morning, and the Harvest Party Luncheon during the day on Friday.)

Anyways...
Seems that in my life, I've managed to mix multiple belief systems together and LIVE it, simultaneously, without the two clashing and warring within me.

It MUST have been something I was Born For... Wired for this. EACH is Valid, and had its own congruency? ...

By The Elegant Grace of God.

I felt incredibly centered and very touched by Sam's vid.
I observed his own tears too.
He mentions the Divine Mother.
I immediately recalled Yogananda's song...

(music) Yogananda's Divine Mother (lyrics in the yt comments below the screen) [9:30] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbH4ZB2vl4A

~

Sometimes, I just find myself in dismays...
I ask myself the same questions that others have.
They say, you can ONLY have 'just one' .....

But WHAT IF ... What if *I* DO have the Ability to BE and DO *both* ?

You know, when I'm 'forced'?, I'm always going to default to Jesus-side.
(And this is DEFINITELY DIFFERENT than those error-filled evangelicals we read or hear about on the news...)

And sometimes it's just eerie...
It's so DEEP How Much I Love {bhakti} Him... IN The Expression of GOD I see in Others, too.

(music) Ye People Rend Your Hearts/ If With All Your Hearts :starheart: (Mendelsohn's oratorio Elijah .. sung by Ethan Bremner, 2009) [3:49] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLvPHF9qJlw

~

Some of my Hindi BeliefSystem Friends might already know the words from a poem this man wrote...

(music) Krishna's Flute (Swami Kriyananda, instrumental .. cello, flute, guitar) [4:16] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNYezcFgdyA

The times when I've poured devotion and tears into these songs, I wasn't thinking of any religion, any guru, any pictured-icon of a character.... I SOUGHT "GOD" ....
With each and every Note, I Long and still long for a Deeper and MORE open, more Intimate Knowing of Him.

:mountain1: Be Still .... Go Within

REF Song of the Soul ... lyrics
- http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum17/HTML/003061.html

(music) Krishna's Flute (Kriyananda, Year of Ananda Music) [3:42] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zl0BsGJQAv4

I Share This "Space" I have Within me With You
.... What a Humble Privilege....

posted November 16, 2017 01:53 PM            

Sometimes after I do some posts (the long kind), I make some mistakes or unclear paragraphs and sentences. I go in to 'fix' it, and sometimes my edits (on long ones) don't 'take'.

That happened with this last post.
The post went through....
I saw I had deleted the 'p' instead of the 's' to energize one of my songs. Also, there were some unclear things, and took the opportunity to do some extensive and more-Creative choices of words, smoother idea bridges, so that my reader doesn't have to 'feel' as though it is 'work' to read my posts. I believe writing should 'read itself'. I like to write to where the person doesn't even notice they are reading, but have gotten into the pictures and imagination of the text.

I did some 'good' editing (yeah, to my own satisfaction?? LOL) -- I'm one of those writers whom my friends used to say 'picks scabs'-- I can read and reread, and edit, and re-edit for hours!! When I'm "trying" to write well, I'm really my own very-worse critic.

Pearlty helped me so much in the beginning of my online relationship with her. She basically told me to just write it out, don't worry about mistakes. My writing was quite choppy, and inhibited. {haha, I'll 'blame it on her'??? awwww}, but she was SUCH an encourager, saying so-what. ...

So, I DO care 'how' it reads, how it looks, whether things are Clear enough.

I had spent 18 months on a different site before I came to LL. (Same Messages, too... I've been a consistent Voice.) I got 'spoiled' with having "Print previews" on that site. You could continue going back into your copy UNTIL you were satisfied, then do the "Submit". ....

So... I went in to put some 'polish' into my tome {LOL!!!} the first edit, and all my work didn't take. Seems that there's what I'll call a 'spin' down.... You have to intuit whether the computer will time-out BEFORE it stops whirling (top left) and poof the post or edit, OR, whether hitting the 'stop' THEN disabling smilies, will 'take' your edits.

I think what I might have done wrong with my 2nd try at edits-- (which was not as well-written as my first edit-{poofed}-- , is that I hit 'Disable Smilies' BEFORE I submitted edit. {No colorful post... *sad*)

IF I had Submitted the edit, then the 'X' to stop, then check the Disable smilies, it 'might' have taken the edits, then a few minutes afterwards, converted the code to Color.

In a way... leaving and accepting all the mistakes I have made 'as-is' in the writings, has been a side-lesson in humility for me, over these years.

Again, I was grateful to Pearlty ... who accepted my texts (in Yellow Wax Forum) in whatever condition they came-in that day.

Sometimes, for me, choppy or imperfect writing and informing, is better than "Perfections"??... (humor) uhhhh, If *I* had to wait on ME, for everything to look-hear-read, intend, and 'artistically' overall be well-placed visually (paragraphs that are readable, and easy for the eye -- plus, adding the nuances of colors), then, I'd have fewer postings!

I HAVE had times where I'd spend the ENTIRE day typing at doing a post.... then NEVER submit it.

(Of course too, as a reminder, the *sonics* in the environment that day, make a HUGE difference in the Quality. Well... Sometimes there IS Quality produced, but it was not a Quality experience for me doing it with such a harangue.)

So again, thank you so much for being my fan, Randall!

Over the years here, I am aware that people come here to read my posts who are NOT Registered with LL. They have to put up with edits that didn't take, or even, just copious amounts of edit-cues on their notification systems???
(Sorry. Not sure what it's called, nor how they manage to put a 'feed' on my postings as an entity here.. Maybe some day I'll know the secret. Thanks for your Patience.)

And...

There are LL'ers who do come here to read, and never comment, nor leave a smile or a Heart.

I Understand and VERY much appreciate the LL'ers who have shown great respect for me, in that they didn't want to 'interrupt' my on-going 'blog' of sorts....

*hugs* and, Hey, I LOVE you guys!!! ...
Thank you....

AND,
I've very much appreciated the short comments from time to time, and ... even a single Red Heart that says, I Read You, and I Care. ... Not Alone.