posted July 04, 2020 05:16 PM            

I emailed you, and I'll write again when I remember what I wanted to say. Or I might add it here.

posted July 04, 2020 10:44 PM            

I had been noticing for a while a move towards un-Spiritual-izing the spiritual.

Removing the Ideal from the ideal.

The result of which, makes things flat, stale, and uninspired-- it divides, puts asunder, to remove The Spirit from spirit.

More blunting and dumbing-down levels, than the encouraging to Stretch and 'Reach Up' to Something Higher, even Ineffable...

Boredom and a grey flatness ensues when making "average" the accepted and easily achievable high-mark.

No crier informing that there's an Awakening available. It's fresh. It's about Excellence!.. bringing oxygen into the soul and cells. Revitalizing something Valuable to collectively aspire to.

People need to get inspired, and to catch Fire-- not violence. Needing to know that there's an achieving at hand, through the pursuit of Something More, and Greater than self.

*Heal*

Honoring The 4th, USA.
Independence Day

(music) I Dreamed a Dream (Aretha Franklin)
[6:36] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4F4SbGtqL4

(music) America The Beautiful (Ray Charles, 1972)
[4:28] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRUjr8EVgBg

posted July 05, 2020 02:59 PM            

So silent from the outside, so overfull within. *sad*

. .
natal ..with the Eclipse

The SUN was on Sirius Cancer 13.27 H7gem
The Moon Capricorn {near end of H1sag} connected to --
7711 "Rip" ???? rx Capricorn 13.35 oh gosh
Also musician/composer
17473 Freddiemercury 13.16 rx

I Will Lift my Eyes...
and Draw Breath into my Chest

(music) Queen - "We Are The Champions"
(Freddie Mercury, Live Aid 1985)
[3:37] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FP808MiJUcM

. .
The other ~connection was--
4848 Tutenchamun rx Capricorn 13.10
meaning..
{either Amable or MAH}
dealing with things from the past
.. and with History & Former conditions;
Revivals, and Resurrections,
getting one's just-due after delays..;
ironic reversals of fortune --
"The last shall be first,
and the first shall be last."

Above forms a biquintile to my Sun Gemini
{which is being visited by transiting Venus Gemini in Taurus 6th these days}.

The end.of.H1 House Sag's Capricorn degree placements, are in trine to my own Venus Taurus H5 {transiting Uranus 10+ Taurus within a degree and a half-- due to turn retro-- haha, omigosh, on asteroid 3451 Mentor Taurus 10.59 . mentor.. could go both ways}.

When pressed-down and low feeling,
I'm glad to have
3241 Yeshuhua rx Capricorn 11.32 nearby--
in contact with a nickname I'm socially known-by at Capr 11.29.

Realization Story-----
.. Venus Gemini 7+ today is
RE-crossing my Birth Sun.
. . .
On the morning of my calendar Birth Day, May 29, the world was approaching a 0-Cancer Eclipse June 21.

{It was significant to me-- but not going to take the time here to delineate that-- it's 'how' I found the asteroids pertaining to Black Lives Matter postings}.

The Past --
I had a moment of realizing how {since birth} I had been basically ignored and overlooked in the first decades of life.
Lived in an isolation {even though part of a genetic family}, and wasn't made to feel wanted! awwwwww.
I wondered what my 'real' place in this world was, as I didn't know where 'I belonged'.

That's part of my sensitivity NOW, towards others that I find who feel that way about themselves.

Because in my culture, and because my mom {female} never bonded with me {as she 'preferred' her sons}, I, a female person, was ignored in the family.

My dad poured into his sons, leaving me to relate only to my mother {who was not interested}!

I was not adequately at-all prepared for life the same as my 3 brothers were.
.. In fact, independence was discouraged.

They came against my wanting to be out and on my own in life-- One day while sitting at the table, mom and dad brought me the electric bill for a big 4-bedroom colonial home... and said, 'Would YOU be able to pay this bill???'
.. That was soooo unfair.
I remember feeling YES I WANT to, and yet having no clue 'how' to. I wasn't "taught."
.. I did babysitting, and took my FIRST outside job at age 15, and excelled as stock and cashier person for sundries department at a huge discount store. --
My mother would TAKE my ~$67 paychecks..
and give me $5.00. We were given NO allowances.

Such discouragement and confusions.

My role in the family was as the "house" help.
I waited on the needs of my {asthmatic} mother, and was given the responsibility of the care of the house, my dad, and the 3 brothers.
. . .
One of the most IMPRESSIVE moments to me, was the day my 5th Grade Nun Sr. Margaret-Therese saw me begin to suddenly burst into tears in catechism class.
This nun was greatly feared. She was the Principal of the catholic school, as well as my teacher.
That woman took me into the hallway for privacy, then she hugged me sooo hard!! Pressed my face into her ample bosom-- 'smothered' LOL.
,, With a loving tenderness, she said she had HEARD of what a Help I was being in the home taking care of everyone! *tears* She knew how HARD that was for me. Also, my mother had been ill almost to death a few times. I had to Deal maturely with that.

There was such hardship.
It was expected for me to provide,
with No rewards.
{Within my own self,
I made my own reward-- 'doing a Good Job',
everything done with a Spirit of Excellence.}

And inwardly,
I hadn't felt or been invested WITH a 'sense' of being valued in a positive uplifting grateful way-- a rewarding way-- by the first persons with influence over my life for its first 15 years.

Gemini
I was extremely smart. Eidetic memory till my early 20s.
Curious!
I had a voracious appetite for learning.
The classroom experience was immensely!!!! frustrating, as I had to deal with classmates whom {I knew} were doing it on purpose to disrupt class and thwart the teacher's efforts.
I was sooo bored when they were doing that, and I resented them cheating me out of another chance at learning.
.. I had always wondered and wondered--
and I hauntingly mulled over something an English teacher had said to me, for my whole life.
--
Her teaching method was to separate her students into rows, of equal abilities. Levels of learning.
There were 9 rows across the room.
Teacher would assign busy-work, and turn her attention to work one row at a time, spending time with students of same-ability, until they learned it; then she moved to each next row.
Taught row, by row.
I spent most of my class-time "waiting"...
I was in that last row of most advanced students.
She had often "run out of time" by the time she reached us.
One day, it was near the end of class-- I remember the topic for us was to be "prepositions" in grammar.
She looked me in the eyes.
She seemed to light-up in relief, and said to me,
"Oh! I don't need to teach you--
because 'You got this'"!!! *star*".
Then she dismissed the class.
. . .
I felt strange..
On one hand it was a compliment {that I should have felt proud-of}, and yet---
I felt blank.
I had the burning-need to KNOW :
to know WHAT it was that I 'Knew-Already'???

I was so perplexed--
WHAT is-it that I KNOW,,,
that I don't know,,, that I know???
. . .
hahahaha … With good humor,
THAT became one of the background Big Questions of my Life!!

It was My Burning Question that never got answered--- it remained open, in a suspended state to 'receive' my who life long.

{in Lightness..}
So--- in this past week--

"The ANSWER" hit me---
The burning question I needed so desperately to KNOW from her, over decades of my lifetime-- came as a simple ~duh.

What I knew-already was 'what the REST of the rows of class' had been working on.

ROFL

I had SUCH searching esoteric soul!!!

I laughed so hard at myself!!!! This Whole LIFE, I finally got my answer. Came this past week. *Heart*

*~

My hunger to LEARN was such a craving inside.
Natal Mercury Gemini conjunct Ketu same degree.

Ketu? is the body looking around for it's Head chopped-off. Ketu the body, looking for Rahu, its Head. Round and round, searching to unite-with its body.

I'm in my Inverse Nodal Return right now, and for the next month. Transiting Rahu meets Ketu. The two heads meeting up with its two body-halves??

So.

One of the hugest thing that had gone missing in my life, was to have been 'seen'. To have had someone recognize the talent and potential inside me, then take me under their wing, to show the 'how'.

I think people have 'assumed' that I already knew 'how'.

Warmly, fake it till you make it?

Question begged is,
then "What is the 'it'" ????
*laughing* *roll*

haha~~ !!..
EVER.. the Philosopher, the Seeker!!!
The Deep Wanting and Searching of Intimate Knowledge...
NN Sagittarius H1

Made my Soul a God-Seeker my whole life, too.

So …
I stand here, close to end of life, having have been capable of SOOO many things.

I thank God for my Life and for all its varied Experiences.

hmmmm. I'm like a Menu in need of a Meal Planner?!

*~
I had lived independently for decades.
Loved it.
Fell into this trap here... like, oops?

Being so weighed 'under' here, I couldn't progress.
I had NO one to consult with.

My coworker at Volunteer Job said that what I had needed in my life was to have had a mentor.

My finances suffered, as home wasn't right--my health constantly challenged by outside environmental issues.

Things that I once possessed in the material, dated-out for current world existence.

Someone once compared me to 'an old computer' to be trashed?
*wince* really??? *smile*

What I had needed, was to be reached-out to.
And Time... went by.
And I GOT older, and more-old.
STILL, I have a younger enthusiastic spirit.
I've been willing...….

Just haven't connected.
*fermata*

posted July 06, 2020 05:48 PM            

geek contract was quoted for around 300.
included group classes too.
sales agent had thought it around 70. {was special pricing?}
started signing me up, then he got messages that it was 300.
couldn't buy less than one year at a time.
.. no way

Laptops for 300, loaded?
I had seen the price of laptops as being super incredibly expensive.
~duh. I don't even have a iPhone above texting, and ability to make an emergency call, as long as they don't require you to punch-in extension numbers to reach your party.

Rm was driving me to volunteer job one day, when he ran over something that had fallen off a truck right in front of him {he rides bumpers!!! omg}. Caused a flat. I tried to call in to Work, and could not reach anyone because you need to punch in extensions. THAT's when I found out how limited it is. Good for hurricane and tornado warnings, amber alerts, texting people if I'm okay, and an occasional call-out {limited minutes} !!
Yeah, you think I'm behind????
sucks

__________________

___________________

posted July 09, 2020 11:11 AM            

And yes, it happened. And along with everything else.

I kind of realize I have to scale BACK any grand expectations and hope now. My physical can barely deal with this.

I've tried to adjust here, at LL, by answering the easiest posts to do. Sometimes I'll go back into posts where I had been WAY bombarded, and I can more-easily flesh-out what I was meaning.

It's sooo deeply sad to think I might not get out, and be able to do well? Realistically in the TIMES we are in, at age 65, I wouldn't be able make near-enough income to support self... or even set things up. Senior apartments for those in poverty, are equal-to or WORSE than this one is!?? I don't know, but on my volunteer job, I use to hear nightmare stories about senior places.

I have to only consider minutes and packets of the day. Manage the pain... at various levels as they occur. Not put so much physical demand on myself for 'perfection' in cleaning anymore. Keep things tidy, and deep clean essential areas {disappoints me greatly that I see cleaning projects that I JUST CANNOT get to anymore}. Kryptonite goes on, and I hunker.

I'm glad to USE posting and creating FOR escaping INTO projects for pain management.

I hope that people here understand. And forgive me for hacked-up post messages sometimes. Too many edits? Yeah, I 'try' to make sense!, and do it imperfectly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2:11pm
I'd been holding to my 'stimulus' money for "just in case". For the past 5 years, I've had a molar that has needed capping. Dentist had said it needed a cap but because of my finances, we could keep a 'watch' on it for a while. Started giving me problems.. crunching down on lettuce or carrot strips kind of hurts. Before anything breaks off what amount of 'tooth is there, maybe it's "time" that I go ahead and have it done.

Called in. Asked the amount. Equals to the stimulus check. .. Before the woman asked my name, I said, OMG, I'm actually getting it done! .. She brightly replied, Oh!!!, now I know who you are!!. Yes.
.. I had been a total chicken going to see a dentist. Before seeing Dr. Sue, I hadn't seen one in 20 years. I had broken the tooth {next to the molar} which precipitated the visit. I needed surgery to dig pieces out, in order to remove broken tooth. Broke at the root.
.. I was terrified to go-- but the two women were wonderful with me, a 'chicken'. Had visited them a few more times after that, and the amount of fear went way down.
The woman on the phone is the dentist's assistant. She said how good I did coming in, and she said they would take good care of me with this cap. Would numb me well.

Set appointment for a week after next.
Wasn't nervous when I made the telephone call..
Just before hanging up-- a bit of scareRUSH came!

So. Better to get this done.. before it's an emergency visit, where the root might have broken and needed surgery, instead of being good for a cap.

My next thing to save up for will be eyeglass lenses.. expensive for me because of trifocals. I wouldn't be able to get those right-away, except I notice my Medicare copay insurance did NOT go down after I turned 65. They had said it would be lowered almost half price? .. If they refund me the amount for last month, and the 'higher' amount a few days from now, I'll have a shorter time for saving that amount.

Medical needs take priority, over the other things mentioned in above post.

posted July 10, 2020 11:06 AM            

I can hardly 'deal' with atmosphere at home.
I feel like crap every single day the Kriptonite starts.

I have needed dentistry help.
Gov Medicare does NOT cover dentists and eyeglasses.
Copays that I have to fork over are outrageous.

When my "basics" for life are not covered,
then, nothing else works.

The most-important basic is having a place where my body can function well. Where I can wake up refreshed in the morning, and build my day from that. Right now, my day gets trashed within the first hour or so.

Almost my entire Soc Sec check goes OUT for healthcare needs. And even that is insufficient, as the health people seem to give less and less care, while charging more. It's a money-making industry.

And an IMPORTANT part of basics include having persons interested in my life. Instructions, and directions.

I have lived in a long-term isolated relationship.
Seems like I have given output, and no input for my own personal important life needs.

Devices are nice.
But when it comes without instructions where you have to 'guess' what you have??? omg

Same applies to the cracked older ipad I have.
You have to KNOW what you've got, and what you're doing-- until "accidently" doing something wrong/unanticipated.
No geek … no grandchildren in my life. haha

Even in my local world, not everyone knows how to operate their devices. Apparently some of the things I've been into are kind of advanced for the mundane person. I've asked!

A few years ago, I had even called some astrological places for support after I bought their "product." They said tough luck. It wasn't 'his' responsibility to help know how to use his product.
ooookkkaayyyyyy.
Never bought anything more from him again.

There was another place, I called. They are good to answer phones, but the people on the other end of the lines seemed to know as much as I did.. -- at least, at that time. I've 'heard' that their customer service people know a lot more how to support their customers/members now. {Too expensive for me... and, I'm just too overwhelmed at home in this period of time.}

At this point, it's just "mean" to have had potential,
and to have gone unsupported in the most-essential ways.
How 'hard' could it have been for folks who 'know' to take a moment to have solved some problems that were 'way easy' for *them.*

Not fair.
~oh well ..
I'm saturated and have gone as far as I could on my own.

And it's another Day.

posted July 10, 2020 12:13 PM            

Covid cases are shooting up again, in my State - and close to my area. We now have a mandatory mask order in place for the county, and social media shows that people are split down the middle, when it comes to using them, or deciding that it's a fake disease. I had stopped feeling scared of my dad or I getting this, a while back, I was just concerned about the possibility of being exposed to it and passing it along to someone without knowing. Now? I'm worried about my dad again. I know that he's careful, but even a guy who enforces these things in our area, said, "I don't like it either, it's not about a virus, think about it." If some of the people in charge where I live, have lost their minds, then we're toast. DeWine is still trying to do what he can, but people are idiots. I'm trying not to lose my sh1t, and focus on what I can control. I hate arguing, it doesn't get us anywhere when people dig their heels in, but I'm going to keep doing it unless I change my focus, because this entire country is in trouble, and I keep thinking that some people will see sense? I've been in denial, I know the good feeling it can produce until reality hits hard. If anything happens to my dad, I'm done. I'll lose him, and probably the house, and then my pets, and I can't think about that, otherwise I won't get out of bed.

posted July 11, 2020 01:44 PM            

Your home--
I understand the fear you have with what happens when your dad is gone?

With the home, I know you had mentioned it needed repairs to the roof, last winter or so?

Would you {and other relatives} be able to come together for a plan on how to keep the house? Is it paid-for already? {Your dad is elderly, yes?}, and probably receiving an excellent pension? Is there some way that you can be helped by that in any way?

{BTW, I don't know how true it is, but, people who have O blood-types seem less attractive to the COVID virus?? Hope so. I'm an O+.)

If you inherit the house, then there's still a chance.

When I had lived on the west coast, multiple decades ago, there were folks who would purchase an old huge home that needed fixing-up, and would rent rooms to folks for cheap, in exchange for them adding labors to bring the home back to good shape.

I agreed to that before. The home we-tenants helped restore was on an historical registry, and had once had a show-garden in the back. Roses. People used to buy tickets to see them.

posted July 11, 2020 05:59 PM            

I watched as a Couple were being Married via virtual Ceremony. When it came to the point of them exchanging their vows.. I realized I was sensing a 'special' kind of energy going on in the ethers. It grew.., instead of abated.
..
I knew what that 'sense' was--
In the religious world, it's called "an anointing". Charism of God was Present, Blessing this Union. It was a Spiritual Anointing, and upheld by the power of prayers-- sooo palpable, strong and Present.

THAT is what made me suddenly take special notice.

Out of curiosity, I wished to see what kind of transits were happening, that could be adding to this. I captured a chart that was close to their moment! I checked the sky transits over the locale of New York City.

Oh My God!! What a Wedding Chart moment--
of all the times they could have chosen.

Friday, July 10, 2020
~ 9:53 a.m., take or minus
New York City, NY
{backyard of their home in Brooklyn}

They had planned to be married last March, but when COVID** hit, and their travel plan to marry at an exotic island resort was blocked, they delayed the marriage. Cancelled wedding plans they had made, and RE-planned their Wedding for another date.

** http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/COVID-19_pandemic

The Ascendant was in almost-mid-Virgo.
Both of these people shared a career in first-responder protector positions, for emergencies on NYC bridges and tunnels. There's a fixed star near that Ascendant Virgo, which {from what I've observed/confirmed} has to do with being 'present' and witness-to public emergencies.

Sun was 18+ Cancer in the "11th House" of Friendship. VESTA the asteroid of Dedication was conjunct The Sun.

Rudhyar Sabian---
quote
(CANCER 19°): A PRIEST PERFORMING A "MARRIAGE CEREMONY".
KEYNOTE: The ritualization of productive interpersonal relationships.
.. This scene symbolizes the profound need for referring the interplay and the relatively permanent and productive union of all polarities.. to some third-factor which either includes, or transcends and gives spiritual meaning to, the relationship.
. . .
The married couple is the basic productive unit in our society - as it has been for millennia in all patriarchal societies.
The purpose of any established religion is to glorify, sanction and bless 'with a super-personal meaning' all personal and interpersonal activities.
This occurs through the "sacraments,"
and indeed through most 'religious rites'.
...Through this technique, commonplace individual endeavors acquire SANCTION;
that is, they are ritualized and indeed "sanctified."
endQuote
___________

The Gemini Midheaven was in earlier Gemini Degrees, had Venus present at 9+ Gemini H10.
Their Marriage was captured by the Media {Gemini}, and their Love Ceremony broadcasted live, on National TV {H10}.
Had the NN 28+ Gem in H10;
and
as well as a Mercury 5+ Cancer in (slow)-retrograde to turn Direct Sunday Morning July 12.
(Remember, this was a RE-do of an already planned wedding day to share their vows to each other.)

quote
(CANCER 6°): "GAME BIRDS" FEATHERING THEIR NESTS.
KEYNOTE: An instinctual dedication of self to 'new forms of life'.
endQuote
.
What's coincidental there, is that the intending groom had come over to her house. She had planned a party to play boardgames. She had no idea that he and the family had gathered (not just for celebrating her birthday but) to witness him asking her Hand in Marriage. Someone captured a phone-video of that moment.

Their Wedding Chart had Venus 9+ {whole degree 10}, near their MidHeaven.., but I love the Sabian for whole degree 11!

(GEMINI 11°): NEWLY OPENED LANDS OFFER THE PIONEER NEW OPPORTUNITIES FOR EXPERIENCE.
KEYNOTE: The power and joy of new beginnings.
-- which was the degree Venus was when I began this post.

"Marriage asteroid Juno" in relationship-oriented LIBRA was trine their Venus.

They had Uranus Taurus 10+ in the 9th House.
A unique technological electronic/computer broadcast had grounded their Vows to each other {in the God House 9}.
The 9th House is also the International House-- as this broadcast could be seen all around the world.
The Two.. Become ONE Flesh.

Mars Aries 7+ was approaching sextile with Venus.
Cusp between H7/H8.
"KEYNOTE: Protection and spiritual guidance .."

In the MARRIAGE HOUSE, H7--
Neptune and Moon were conjunct in degrees 20, 21+ Pisces.
Fixed Star Markab nearby...
"Balance, and steadiness, while all around you is going crazy. Allows you to deal with pressure, and keep calm and solid, during crisis.."
{Is a prayer for them!}

Neptune H7.. The Ideal. Higher Love.
I know that this is a Christian union, where couples marry each other, spiritually inviting Christ into their marriage, as the Holy Third in their Union. Each is accountable for self before God first, .. and, to each other.

In the 5th House, Romance, Gambles, Children, Entertainment.

This Marriage was broadcast under the umbrella of an 'Entertainment' show.

Has JUPITER there sextile the Neptune.
Spiritual optimism, and Spiritual idealism.

Applying Mars Sextile Venus, motivated by feelings of affection and devotion.. Taking 'action' on Love and Romance... {got married! *grin*).

Saturn-Pluto Capricorn rx.. resources are generally limited for many, right now.

Venus square Neptune..
They had a challenge due to the virus.
Love was able to come through adversity of the times. They shared their Love via etheric Media waves, declaring their Vows {H10} in front of the World of their committed Love (Venus MC). They dedicated selves to "Love and Protect" each other -- VESTA-Sun Cancer H11) .. in their own written vows.

IC is Sagittarius is near Antares.
'An influence of passion and intensity-- Courage in Convictions.. Regeneration through transformational experiences, that can lead to great heights.'

(music) Wedding Song "There is Love"
(Peter, Paul and Mary - 25th Anniversary Concert)
[3:33] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrTfNTzAvYY

Tamaron Hall is also an Ordained Minister besides being a television celebrity. She officiated the Marriage Ceremony.
- - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamron_Hall

Kelly Ripa and Ryan Seacrest were the hosts.
{I adore Ryan!!}
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Live_with_Kelly_and_Ryan

Here is The Couple, and some of the video of their Ceremony.

* The "I" in "I Do":
Rasheda and Anthony's Love Story
and their Surprise Officiant
[9:49] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZLzVWlDbX8

* The "I" in "I Do":
Rasheda and Anthony Exchange Vows !!!
.. and Say "I Do"
[8:03] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7e0PE_3t6g

Those VOWS they wrote were sooo Touching, sooo real.

I found myself drawn into Praying for them during the Ceremony, and afterwards. I wish them Protections through Life's Storms, and an Enduring Love that Never Fails.

My Vesta Cancer Return H8
.. trine my Saturn r Scorpio H11
conjunct degree of Prenatal Lunar Eclipse Cancer
with
transiting Juno Libra H10
trine transiting Venus Gem within orb of conjunction to my Gemini Descendant.
transiting Venus still in separating orb from my Sun.

posted July 12, 2020 11:14 AM            

They made EVERYTHING LESS LOGICAL.
You have to do 2 or 3 more STEPS, in order to get what you want, to WORK!

Just wait till RM has to 'print' something...
HA! He's going to give a fit.

These software changes ASSUME that everyone has a mobile device. I DON'T.

*ranting* *whimpering* ... FRUSTRATED!!
What I HAD worked JUST FINE!!!

LEAVE WELL-ENOUGH ALONE!!!!!
if it ain't BROKE?, DON'T FIX IT.

posted July 13, 2020 06:49 PM            

I know you don’t use apps, but can you sign up for that Nextdoor site, on your computer? I did, or I think I did - I tend to respond on my computer, because the app doesn’t show all of the posts. I wondered if you might be able to meet people that way.

I don’t usually go the “people are idiots” route, because I think that most people try their best. I’m currently in the garden, trying to relax, because summer is disappearing, and I’ve missed out on good weather, thanks to illness and crappy sleeping. We were supposed to go to the store, dad said he wouldn’t take next-day deliveries, and then he forgot about that and did. So we aren’t going to make it tonight.

posted July 14, 2020 05:04 PM            

Should you {as a unified couple} go through leaner times, then again, to go through that Together, you have the "additive power of "two" available. The sum of the Whole, becomes greater than its parts.

This applies to Relationships of ALL sorts.

--
computer continues to make really different changes, almost every time I get on to use it

EDIT
metered-changes?

Ad blocks are done by two virus blockers here.
I discovered yesterday the " ... " has a settings-wheel, that takes me even DEEPER into other changes.
I changed default search-engine.
I 'think' I asked computer to 'block' other things too.

I KEEP getting asked, every single post, if computer can 'save' my passwords. Even happened when I went to paypal the other day... NEVER!!!

It's not getting the 'message' that NEVER means NEVER!!!

___________________
Randall--
This is a Dell desktop. We DO have wifi-- however,
the desktop itself is connected by a cable.
When Rm uses his iphone and ipad, he's using the wifi. --- He's on it ALL the time. I don't think he'd want limits? {addict!! hahaha}

Thanks for info.
I'm placing link here, in case others don't know what it is.
- http://www.timeatlas.com/metered-connection/

posted July 18, 2020 11:36 AM            

Died yesterday, at age 80 yo
And his Legacy lives on

- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Lewis_(civil_rights_leader)
- http://www.yahoo.com/news/rep-john-lewis-remembered-legacy-072507134.html

Another era and generation passing by.
I broke into tears when I heard he had passed!
God Bless Him and the Work that STILL must go on!

A Great Man and Honorable Soul

John Lewis: The Selma To Montgomery Marches | MLK
(TIME, posted Jan 15, 2017)
[5:57] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRwnXUbJdfg

yt notes: John Lewis shares stories from the aftermath of the March on Washington, and how Selma became the stage for African Americans to fight for their right to vote, leading to the Selma to Montgomery marches.

Historian Jon Meacham Remembers
Rep. John Lewis: ‘He Was A Genuine Saint’
(TODAY, posted July 18, 2020)
[7:18] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rw2GlGGUOx8
. . . Excellent!!

*~

(music) We Shall Overcome (Morehouse College, 2009)
[4:10] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aor6-DkzBJ0

posted July 18, 2020 03:22 PM            

Manifested a laptop
Am still in a state of surreal.
Should arrive over the next few weeks.

All Right ......
I 'think'/'imagine' I hear far away whispers of someone/group-people might be planning an offering for me to make a move???

Not sure who they are.

Oh Lord!!! Please Let IT BE true!!!
Get me out of here!!! .. (please)
I WANT MY HEALTH BACK!!
I want my Life Again.
Productive and Involved!

And if I'm "just imagining" it--
then Lord-- help me deal with the hard disappointment?
*broken heart* ... ?

posted July 19, 2020 05:12 PM            

New Moon in Cancer 28.27 (tomorrow)
Monday, July 20, 2020 at 1:32 pm EDT

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:

Lewis met the guy who cracked his skull on that bridge years later,

and they hugged and wept.

---

"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!"
{scripture ~ Psalm 133:1}

(Heard from the couple who are preparing my laptop-- Seems right now that there's a problem getting the laptop to connect to WiFi. Said they would keep working on it...

Hope it's not that the laptop is too old? *sad* It was already-old when the professional computer-man restored it for use by his elderly neighbor.)

A Song of Ascents

posted July 20, 2020 10:35 AM            

That couple came to live where they are now because they fell into financial jeopardy when both of them fell seriously ill-- at the SAME time. Their own friends (from the State they were in) picked up their hospital bills. They hadn't been able to afford American medical insurance for a spell, and their medical emergencies fell upon them IN that window of time in-between affording medical insurance.
.. They relocated, to another State.
In case people were wondering?, .. No. They cannot help ME with a new place to live. They are relying on another person's goodness right now. They can't. Even their own relatives are GNARLY towards them.

Last week,
I had a STRONG daydream...
Remembered my own father {who is now dead}.

There had been ONE point in my life where I had been living in a State that was a day's journey away. Had caught pneumonia, and was still suffering residuals. The area I lived in was on a beach. I rented a room in a bungalow with a group of other people. Heating wasn't good. It was winter, and the damp coldness wasn't good for me.
. . .
One day... My dad surprised me.
He had HEARD I was in trouble.
He showed up with his pick-up truck {had a cap on it}.
He said he was here to HELP.
We packed what little belongings I had,
loaded it on the back of the truck,
and he took me in for a while till my health resolved.
. . .
Settled in that area afterwards.
Got a job and apartment.
Resumed my life.

When the daydream had finished...
I burst into tears, bawling.
.. I have no one.
And I'm scared.

So anyways.....
The problem with *sonics* is feeling more massive.
I'm NOT feeling well...
and there's no one I can call.

Rm continues, greatly detached.

I'm confused by messages...
There are people who {I think} would love that harm would come to me. It's sooo evident. ..
How can people who call themselves new age aquarians.. be so cold?

I long for previous generations ..
Where people cared, and they would BE there...

Again.
I know that GOD Loves me.

*GOD!!!!!, please Make A Way! *
I cry out to my Heavenly Father
and the *cloud of witnesses* of those who have passed, and whom still Love me.

God, You HOLD People's Hearts.

Make a Perfect and Ideal situation
come forth for me.
. . .
If needs be,
Let there be some GOOD Senior Housing
that opens up, and is Ideal.
Resolve this pain I live in--
Restore life.
Let me be Fruitful.

SEND people, Lord!!!!!!!
Draw folks of Tender-Kindness into my Life!

Or,
prepare to Receive me in heaven.
If I don't belong to any human being, anymore---
and my Time is up,
then
at least
I know I Belong to YOU, O Lord.

If I am not wanted or needed any more on this earth plane
......
if my life's purpose has been fulfilled...
then let me have passed without realizing I left the body.

Let me be Embraced into Your Loving Arms.
Or.. If there is still need for me on this earth,
Let me be Embraced by a Higher Spiritual Soul Group..
where I can continue in life
to Make a Difference.

________________________________________
2:32pm

I've got an astrological customer!! LOL
Even, gonna get paid?..
omg.. THIS is sooo Cool!!!!
wow.

Just in case you read this--
{You know who you are!!!! omg,
BIG hugs for the referral!!!}

-----------------------------
9:40pm
Finished the detailed work in 3 hours.
Hope they like it.

posted July 21, 2020 09:03 PM            

I pulled up the chart with transits of 1999.
I looked at the transits he was having 2020 July 20... and it was astounding. Transiting Venus conjuncting Jupiter Gemini.

I looked at the houses affected, the signs, and I ventured my "guess" of what happened that day in his life.

Also saw his P.o.Fortune had been involved in an eclipse 3 months prior.

I summed up my thoughts around what had happened-- and how things aligned closely again.

I added a few more things for his consideration.

His response blew me away. He said I was exactly correct with all of it.

I was just relieved that from his request of a date-only, giving NO other information, that what I 'saw' and interpreted was correct. .. wow

So.
Astrology can be accurate that way.
I felt VERY lucky to have 'recognized' it.
Cool coincidence that I would have known.

*~
Went to the dentist, for capping the molar.
Dentist said that the tooth now had a crack-line in an area around the back of it... I had come in "on time". {I'd begun having trouble chewing salad.) She was able to do all the prep, and I have a temporary tooth there now. The permanent one will be ready Aug 6. I'm just really glad to have saved the tooth in time!
.. It took up ALL the stimulus-money. I helped the USA economy today! LOL
It's nerve-wracking not to have a fall-back fund now.

And oh... I thought I had mastered all my dentist fears?? whoah... NOT. It all hit me as they had me sit in the chair.. I started shaking. And I laughed at loud, criticizing myself for being such a huge chicken!! I cried a bit, trying to get hold of myself-- I don't know that these people would have known. I tried to keep very very very low-key, and appearing to be 'good' about things. I apologized. They said NOT to worry, that this happens to a LOT of people.
. . .
Before I went to see this doctor,
it had been TWENTY YEARS since I'd visited a dentist. I have NOT had good experiences. Some of the dentists of the past hadn't numbed me well-enough.
..
This doctor had used laughing gas to help get me through the surgery she had done when I first met her-- She suggested it again, for this. I had had work done by her, where I had done really great, not needing it.
Actually, I'm not a fan of altering consciousness that way.
(humor) NOT when the situation at-hand that was about to 'begin' to get really serious very-shortly..
LOL

*~
Rm is beginning his plans for heading up north to attend his daughter's wedding Sep 19. It will be a sizable gathering.. Rm's relatives from various locations around the US will fly-in for the ceremony.
. .
Rm will take the car-train. He'll have his vehicle there, and will search out his old high school gang. They are in touch with each other on FB, and look forward to face to face visits.

**~
I'm going to confess that I am concerned about this "visiting" .. during the COVID Pandemic. Rm doesn't seem to take it seriously. Not really being mindful of hygiene practice. It's "not convenient" to keep that up?.. *sad*

So.. I'm just super-concerned about what he will be exposed-to at this large smaller-wedding.

There's NO way to "quarantine" or be isolated when you're in a small apartment. He is very much "at-risk" physically with multiple conditions.. and he's a smoker with a cough already..

I'd love for August to have been my LAST month here. .
. . But how?
I'm eyeing my bins. If I get rid of what I used to do for 'astrology dailies', then I can chop the number by much.
If I get rid of journals.. that would save more space, more room.
Reference textbooks I have would be much harder to part-from.

Really....
It's the person of me, that's the most Valuable. I'd hate to lose "my tools" I've had. The tight core of texts I have ..

{God, Help me to know.. what to do. What can I do?}

*chuckles* ..
Do I plan on Staying ALIVE?
You betcha!!

I'm dealing with that extra-stress thought now.
Gotta let that go!

I'm trying to STAY very realistic, during transit that is meant for being more floaty? ..
.. I'm scared. I'm just scared.

One Thing and One Day .. at a time.
Be Brave.

(music) The Circle Game (Joni Mitchell) [4:53] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGHjHU_Z8d8