posted June 30, 2021 02:09 PM            

The days of June 23, 24, 25 were packed with things that happened.
continuation from previous page 16

On Thursday June 24,
(Full Moon Capricorn H1sag)
I had gone to see my dentist over some irritation I was having near a tooth. Affected my jaw, my right ear.
She said I had an infection in that tooth,
and I need a "root canal" .. yikes.

So, I'm prepping self for 'that' experience.
I am VERY fortunate to have saved enough funds FOR this kind of emergency. The USA Medicare insurances do NOT pay for Dental procedures, Vision (eyeglasses), and hearing aids. This is going to cost 1,449! arrrghhh. This nearly wipes out my emergency medical funds.

On Thursday, July 9
(New Moon Cancer, H8 ~ on Vesta)
I'll be in the dentist chair at Noon.

Will be under "laughing gas" !!,
WHILE having my Mercury Gemini RETURN.

When I'm really-nervous, I talk a LOT!!
So, with a "Mercury Gemini RETURN?"
This transit could bring experience like
Chatting on a Roll -- no hindrances, speedbumps nor brakes??
...

But, I will REMEMBER my transit,
and curb that nervous impulse to
talk, and tawk, and tawk, and tawk!!
Send my thoughts through to a spiritual zone:
My Mercury Gemini H7 trines Neptune r Libra H10.

Am prepping self (attempting to deal with anxiety) by information!
Educating self about what goes on during root canals...
{BIG humor:} You know....
Just-in-case the Dentist forgets!, and needs to Know, or to be reminded about 'what comes next'??? *heart*

posted July 06, 2021 12:41 PM            

It was very fortunate that my govt had sent two COVID American Rescue checks. Spent the first one to repair a fractured (hurting) molar (got capped/crown). This 2nd check? .. I would have LOVED to have spent some of it on some astrology classes and Vedic textbooks-- but I nave 'needs', and those were 'wants'. I obeyed 'reason' and did NOT spend-- and that was the exact-correct thing to do. Wiped me out, but covered the procedures; and, the eyeglasses. I won't owe any money.

Had NO idea how expensive Root Canals are! That capped molar is now going to get drilled. I've been watching dentist lessons (haha, I think about about LL's Child of Venus every time-- she studied dentistry).

To add an answer to your question, Randall?

Longer ago when I got that cap/crown done, I came in thinking it would be just be generally like getting a filling-- no big deal. My dentist has a good technique with giving the numbing needles, hardly feeling it. I was confident. Didn't even feel nervous when I arrived for that appointment. ... But--- OMG.

FEAR had GRIPPED once I got in the chair, and the instruments were arranged around me to do the procedure. Out of NOWHERE, (bypassing the intellect), I started a Panic Attack.

At that point my dentist said she was going to use the laughing gas. OMG... They kept telling me to just breathe, just breathe ... Then, I thought I was going to pass out from breathing so hard. .. Gas began to work, and I felt very embarrassed about my sudden very surprising reaction. Dentist says it happens, no worries.

The endodontist I'll be seeing was recommended BY her.
Is male.. and he has an extensive military background.
Yikes! Maybe he could just "order" the infection to come OUT? No surgery? LOL
My general dentist is female,
and all the office and assisting women are older.
Energy shift?

I've started listening to astrology vids for the upcoming New Moon Cancer 18.02, to happen ON the day of the appointment.

Astrologer Stormie Grace said this moon would be for creating "solid roots"?

I thought about the root canal happening that day.
Doctor will remove the dead debris inside the channels (which keeps up a cycle of re-infections). After it is drilled, cleaned, and prepared, a "solid root" will be made by filling the two empty caverns with a special sealant, making it solid.

Love the symbolism in that.

PNSE, PNLE
The Full Moon we just had in Capricorn was conjunct degree of my Prenatal New Moon Solar Eclipse.
..
This New Moon in Cancer on Friday July 9,
is near my Prenatal Full Moon Eclipse.
- http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/203046-2.html

Cancer New Moon 18+ in H8 is
conjunct my Vesta Cancer 17+ H8;
trine my Saturn rx Scorpio 16+ H11;
sextile my Venus Taurus 12+ H5.

(music) You And Me Against The World
(Helen Reddy, lyrics)
[3:08] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6wEyDuavF8

Hurricane Elsa
is moving past our State's west coast, which is to the west of where I am. Right now, strong WIND GUSTS just began. Warnings will be for floods and sometimes spin-off tornadoes. Should peak around 9pm here.
Luckily our little neighborhood's buildings don't flood-- we have retention ponds and gullies that fill up instead.
Our region needs the rain.

posted July 08, 2021 03:03 PM            

I asked her how comfortable he is with nervous people?
She said he is the one who specializes with children.

I said I was kind of nervous to come in tomorrow.
She said, Well, you can decide on a different date then?

That was 9:15 a.m.
Thought about until 11:40 am.
Took her up on her suggestion--
and called to cancelled the appointment.
I rescheduled, as per her suggestion.

Astrologically
Saw how distressed my Venus Taurus is right now.
Transiting Saturn r Aquarius SQUARES her.
Transiting Venus Leo SQUARES her.
Transiting Uranus Taurus has been on top of her.
The 'release point' for that tight and intense T-SQUARE
.. is my own Saturn r Scorpio (across from natal Venus).
Locked up.

Venus is a medical planet for me,
as ruler of my 5th, but also my 6th House.
I have Gemini Sun in the Taurus 6th.

Astrologically I have really no idea what is good right now.
(Can't afford to buy anyone's opinion. ..
so I've got to just do the best I can.)

I'll skip the medical asteroids...
but they're pretty right-on.

So, Libra Phone Woman changed the appointment to Aug 3 ...
I looked it up on computer afterwards,
on my Astrodienst account.

Transiting Venus in Leo is now in
Square to natal Venus--
will have moved signs to Virgo on Aug 3rd.

Transiting Venus Virgo will be 14+,
on top of natal Makhaon Virgo 14.07 and
in a trine to natal Venus Taurus 12+.
Makhaon is a 'surgery' asteroid (among other meanings).

Transiting Mars (now in Leo and conjunct t Venus)
will have moved to Virgo 2.36,
in 'encouraging' sextile to my natal Mars 2.36.

Transiting Uranus Taurus 14.40 H5 ..
will be trine Makhaon Virgo exact.

Transiting Neptune! in Pisces H(3) --
will be 22+ retrograde, and further away from opposition to natal Moon Virgo 24.56 ... (for any anaesthesia, might be better not being exact opp to Moon).

RAHU will be transiting my Sun Gemini 7+.
Vesta will have moved from Virgo H(9) on top of my Moon, to conjunct Hygeia Libra 7+ H10-- where she will trine my Sun Gemini and transiting Ceres in Gemini 1+ conjunct mBML 1+.

There will be a sky transit of Sun Leo opp Saturn r Aquarius the day before.
But Sun Leo will trine my Ascendant Sag, while Saturn sextiles it.
Transiting Saturn will also be trine natal Sun and transiting Rahu.

Transiting Saturn r Aquarius will also biquintile Venus on Makhaon that day.

There are other 'better' support transits in early Aug for me.

Since I have no real-life support partners right now, I have to manage this myself. I had two nights where I couldn't sleep ... Somehow, I'll have another month to summon courage.
Sucks to have to BE your 'own' support...
I've done it .. but some kinds of things (medical) are much harder for me to approach and overcome.
Doesn't matter how solid I can be in the intellectual realms about it; my emotions stay present and wordless.

Self Care
There's The Next Time...

posted July 16, 2021 10:06 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by teasel:
The medical stuff freaks me out, too.

---

I had an appointment yesterday to go over annual test results.

AGAIN! Their computer records management was WRONG.

They shucked it off, saying yeah, we now have a NEW system and information from old is being put in the new.

I said, You've LOST important INFORMATION in my Health Record!!!!!

Freaks me out that IF I were to be found unconscious somewhere, that *they* will be going off WRONG INFORMATION. And with wrong information, I would suffer horribly WHILE unconscious and not able to respond!!!!

American Health System SUCKS THE BIG ONE.

They have LOWERED THE BAR on competence.
They rely all-the-way on COMPUTERS to make decisions, not Human Talent. The human CANNOT override the computer's recommendations.

I don't have a "doctor" looking at my records. It's a nurse, all the time. And when I go into that clinic, I can't TRUST that 'the same person' who is learning the complicated sophisticated nuances of my body, is going to BE there. (I was telling the nurse things yesterday, and noticed she made NO notes of it in my record! My talking to her, made NO difference!!!!! It was important!!)

When a doctor makes NOTES on record about you, NOTES are supposed to jog the memory of the human that wrote it.

Not every person will read words and derive the same 'meaning' FOR those words. Mundane people without proper medical training, read medical terms with mundane understanding and these uneducated persons make 'decisions' about Care??? .... *palm to forehead*. .. incompetence! Incompetence in Hiring!

I'm older. They rely on lifetime computer records now. The ELDERLY population is at a distinct disadvantage.

I had had some expensive MRI's done in the past (regarding some atypical migraines I've had in the mid 2000s-2010). BECAUSE they were not 'saved' TO the new-style computer program records, there is NO EVIDENCE there. The MRI's CAT scans that elders had had in the PAST are "no good" now. That torques me off sooo badly!!!! They demand NEW MRI's etc. That's WASTED Money, and some procedures are too painful.

During one of the MRI's they gave me a drug that is a NO-NO (side-effects) for me. The doctor~whatever FAILED to READ my record, and gave me that drug. .... I uncontrollably shivered and shuddered (painfully!!) for HOURS. The drug affected me where my body felt sooo COLD that my chin, and other parts of me, shivered and chattered out of control. That was painful and soooo uncomfortable, for HOURS!!!
. .
It showed up as 'flares' in the brain... and they MIS-diagnosed me based on the flares! That is, until a few years later, a doctor who heard of my reaction to a BAD drug, changed the diagnosis!!

I HATE incompetency! Those people do not READ corrections on the record.

That particular migraine was atypical so they put me in the hospital for a few days for observation.
. .
While I was there, they were giving me my daily pills (just two of them). They were giving me the WRONG DOSE of a stomach pill I take. My medical doctor would prescribe that pill with an understanding that I crack it in half (half the dose). The hospital was giving me the FULL dose. I TOLD them I only get HALF. They said... oh yeah we 'heard' about that-- but they did NOTHING to correct their medical ERROR. .. They 'deliberately refused' to change the order. The pill needed a sharp-edge to split it. Couldn't do it using my fingers. I had to toss the pill across the room every other day, because taking the FULL dose made me feel quite ill.

I HATE incompetency-- DELIBERATE incompetency.

My over-sized anxiety about medical stems from the Surgery I had when I was 4 years old. Tonsils and Adenoids, 1959 Aug. They BOTCHED the anesthesia!!! I was aware of PAIN .. and they "assumed" I was UNCONSCIOUS.
. .
OR? is it that they wrongly thought in those days that ..she's kid, she won't remember this??

WRONGGGG... !
I think I know an important medical asteroid in my chart, exact-conjunct my Mars Cancer, which out-of-sign trines my Neptune r Libra!! It "allows" me a more lucid experience when consciousness-altering drugs are administered. They don't work 'the same' on me, as others.

I told an anesthesiologist (riding next to me on the bus one day! LOL) about that episode. He said, yeah. They didn't know, (or have the equipment) in the older days, about kids who are dissociative. He said the doctors KNOW about that now, and watch monitors FOR signs that this kid is not completely anesthetized yet.

So. I REMEMBER. They may have improved things now... but WOW. That doesn't help ME.

I was suggested to get my alimentary canal system 'scoped'. It will require general anesthesia-- which ALARMS me automatically. I still have morbid fear, PTSD, from several childhood medical experiences.
. .
So (a few years ago when it was recommended) I asked the hospital if they have doctors who will take extra time WITH me, full of assurances, and having my trust.
Hospital administrator said NO.
(Suggested I take a drug in advance, that I have BAD side-effects to!
{body shivers and seizures}
They coldly said that IF I were 18 years or younger, they would have responded to my request.
But in the State of Florida, the anesthesiologists only treat the body like it is a piece of MEAT!-- not the person. They are TOOOOO BUSY (making money?? LOL) to CARE about any nervous patients. The hospital staffs consider themselves as SEPARATE from anesthesiology staff. No crossover. They will take NO responsibility for patient's true 'CARE'.

What a misnomer!! Patient "CARE". haha
They DON'T.

Ptolemaic "unaspected" 6th House Sun Gemini
with Taurus Cusp (placidus).
Asteroids..
Sun aspects are TRINE to Chiron Aqua and exact to Hygiea Libra.
Made me 'MORE sensitive??' More Conscious?

I just wish that the medical system had more human EMPATHY, and added that to COMPETENCE. They need to bring BACK the "Art of Medicine".. instead of relying on robots to TELL them what to do with their patient.

There's a doctor shortage here.
They have to rely on nurses and less educated people to do patient care.
Doctors with competence in "Geriatrics" are especially not-found here, in the State full of retirees.

sheesh.... now I gotta go practice some breathing.
Even only-thinking about it triggers me. whoah.

Thanks for your reply, Teasel.

~~~
One of my greatest needs here is for real-people IN my life, who would 'watch my back' IF something wrong happened to me, within the medical system. It has been 'proven' that patients get 'better attention' WHEN there are outside HUMANS with an interest IN the patient they treat, and ask questions.

Rm is 'not' my care person. He CAN'T.
He's psychologically and emotionally not "wired" to care for anyone but himself. .. Leaving me in a terrible situation with the medical care I'd ever receive.
He is my only relationship. Been together 14 years doing "parallel" living-together, no 'knowing' the other person. If he were 'asked' about me, I have NO confidence that he knows answers. He's simply been 'not interested' in the person of me. That scares me.

Things right now rely on the individual person's "Honor System." .. More and more, there way too many liars out there! ohhhh my. Medical people are SUPPOSED to have Honor. ... or is that a too "old fashioned" thought?

Who can you Trust?

posted July 27, 2021 12:54 PM            

(Too much to say!)
Living here makes me feel sooo ill.

In the interest of 'keeping going'/active-energy,
with curiosity, I looked into Senior Housing once more...
and these are swamped.

I would now qualify for senior 'subsidized housing', at my age and with my small fixed income. I want to avoid living in 'the projects' where gangs, prostitutes, drug addicts live. (Rm's apartment fits that category.) We've had murders here. Last year someone did a drive-by spraying of Bullets into the row of apartments at 90-degree angle of this building... WE were lucky.

IN THE MEAN TIME
This State (run by extreme right politicians) has been recently found to be secretly diverting State Housing monies, Affordable Housing monies, to another (secret) project for the past 12 years!
Investigative Reporting going on. Lacking transparency, the State admins refuse to 'show' WHERE 12 years of those funds were deflected to.

For several years, this State, and this County has been on the nationwide News concerning its ongoing SEVERE lack of Affordable Housing units. It's not happening?? WHY??

(And rich people living in the southern-most part of this State have run out of land/properties with Mansions on them to sell?) .. *tiny violins?* LOL

Called Helpline
I was given a number to call, concerning my need for Healthy Place to live. It's to a lawyer woman way up north in this State, who helps seniors that are 'being exploited'.. {wow}.

Those words sent me on a journey through my Past!

I've experienced that, because I wasn't being 'watched over' in my life-- My heart sunk as I realize how MUCH that People with an interest, could have personally gotten involved to have made a GIGANTIC difference in my life.

Would have activated the 'use' (and training, honing) of my natural talents.

An astrologer made reference to BML in Gemini now.
I researched my 'Good Performed' thread in Labors of Love Forum. .. That was the last time BML traveled IN this sign.
. .
Reread some of the things I wrote in 'Good Performed' thread in this Labor of Love forum. SAME Issues.

(music) Déjà Vu
(Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, 1970)
[4:15] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5f8z1NAzMlI

Subsidized housing would be a good way for me to have basic need for LIFE (place to live) taken care of.

Came across a man on youtube who does Section8Consulting (for making a living; charges). Been listening to his description of 'how it is' all across the United States now.

Tsunami of EVICTED persons has hit the financials, which are poorly funded. Funding for Housing depends on that State's collection of Taxes for it.

There have been loads of TAX Cuts (in past years) that starved these 'needed' programs for Affordable Housing, and the agencies that Help Folks gain that Housing.

Right now, Jay says, the agencies (low on funds and manpower) are NOT answering phones.

He predicts that HOUSING in America will becoming a NATIONWIDE Crisis, that this current President (Biden) will HAVE TO ADDRESS. Our OWN People are Without HOMES!

MILLIONS turned out to the Streets!
Wages paid for work done is not commensurate with the Cost of LIVING.

Astrology ----------------------------------

Housing and Urban Development Act of 1965
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Housing_and_Urban_Development_Act_of_1965

United States Department of Housing and Urban Development
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Department_of_Housing_and_Urban_Development

EVENT HUD
Formed: September 9, 1965 (55y current 7/24)
Washington, DC
38.53'2.17" N latitude
77.01'21.03" W longitude

On the event date,
NORTH NODE was in Gemini 5.50.
In the USA Sibley chart,
the true and mean North node was in the 6th House (the people).
NN had conjuncted with Uranus Gemini 8.55 H6taur.

----------------------------------
CURRENT
Government Hearing on
Jan 6, 2020 Capitol Insurrection

Right now,
A televising of the House Committee hearing on the Jan 6 Insurrection is going on.

Involved predominantly was the QAnon* Conspiracy people, KKK/neoNAZI in the ATTACK on that tragic day.

ASTROLOGY
Currently the NN in Gemini (mean) is 9.06
USA Sibly H6taur
- http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Nation:_USA_No.1

planet Uranus Gemini 8.55'17"
2929 Harris Gemini 8.06'19"
24956 Quiannan* Gemini 8.17'43"

I haven't looked at the USA Chart, nor reviewed the charts I drew up of asteroids for this Jan 6, 2020 Capitol Insurrection yet. (Packed away in my files).

- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QAnon
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/January_6_commission

{I didn't delineate or write about the January 6, 2020 event in this thread.}
And really, the sonics/vibrations in this Environment keeps me back from creating things I'd LOVE to 'do'.

__________________________________
For those in need of Housing
* HUD GOVT Office
- http://www.hud.gov/program_offices/public_indian_housing/pha/contacts

__________________________________

Transiting Chiron Aries is in USA Sibly Chart H4.
USA has her Chiron Return at Aries 20.08.

Right now, transiting Chiron has been CONJUNCT
the Asteroid that has to do with Capitalism--
1998.BU.48 at Aries 12.12.. H4 aries
next to
asteroid 22562 Wage Aries 11.53...
'wages' are definitely on the forefront of discussions, as I've mentioned earlier in this long post.

The more I review my databook on USA,
the more I see the asteroids that have been involved in current events.

Interesting...

Posting this without proofing.
I end up scrapping so many of my posts doing that.

THANK YOU to those who have been keeping up with my thread(s), and for those WITH an interest in my well-being.

Many Blessings

posted August 11, 2021 11:58 PM            

Earlier today I watched as the transiting North Node in Gemini entered the degree of my Sun. Venus was conjunct my Moon in Virgo.

I'd been feeling a bit more tender than usual, thinking about circumstances here, and very much wanting to be out! ... but how? Looking at things through Saturn's eye -- the way out (only by my efforts) seems too impossible.

I don't have the sums of money for it-all.
As I mentioned in previous posts, I live in a State (Florida) that has had a CRISIS in affordable housing,,, among other matters in the news right now. We've been the epicenter of COVID, as matters had NOT been competently followed. {And it leave that at-that for now.}

ADJACENT POSSIBLITIES .. vid.
Raised my hopes... but I didn't understand what is there as the 'adjacents'.
.. Wonderful personal story of building your business, Brit! I remember when you started. You are sooo much more calm, steady. People adore you. You've got a business head on those pretty shoulders.

I had fallen sad for a number of days..
When I saw some vids of folks I feel closest to, I had 'more' of a sense that I had NOT been forgotten. Confusing.

Would Love to share and describe the "processes" going on in my soul-- oh yes oh yes. Sharing it would help, not just for me, but for those in this who feel that sense of relating. I have to be kind of discerning.

I used to tell more stories...
Share my opinions on what's going on.
Had included asteroids in those, for color.
So thick in myths.

(Had one for Olympics I haven't shared.)

So much going on.
Sonics are still an every day torture--
the real ness of how much it takes/robs from me is concerning, and a part of the grief, wondering. Trying to problem solve yet, it's just so late.
I long to be with other people, whom I could love and share with as real-Friends.

Signing of for now....
Much Love.

posted August 16, 2021 02:07 PM            

From upgrading LL's Servers,
my ultra-long thread froze up.

FROZE UP on
October 14, 2019 09:51 AM --
Resurrected on
August 14, 2021 02:41 AM

Link to Page 119 of 'Good Performed':
- http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/000630-119.html