posted March 24, 2020 04:47 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by teasel:
I will never understand why he wasn’t a popular president. Mum loved him.

---

Your Mum was a Good Soul, Teasel.

posted March 25, 2020 01:09 AM            

I’ve just cooked three different things. My turmeric and orzo soup, that I haven’t had for two weeks, and out of chicken thighs I had to use up: basic chicken, onions, and potatoes, in the oven right now. Also chicken cacciatore in the instant pot (*edit, it wouldn't work properly, so it's now on the hot plate). I figured I’d get it done whilst I had the enthusiasm, and before the chicken went off.

posted March 31, 2020 01:47 PM            

Am in my apartment quarters with other neighbors in my section of the county. Many are being wonderful with each other. There had been residents of a very nearby latino culture neighborhood who for days were playing their bass woofers and cultural music so loud that we could hear it in our living room with windows closed.

I wonder how my body will be able to make it through the next months. The *sonics* have worn my physical resistance down through percussive pummelings of my insides, on a daily basis, for years. Chipped and chipped away from me the seed "essence-life" strength that keeps a Body strong.

What I am afraid of is that this body pummeling has now placed me in EXTRA jeopardy against the C-19 virus. I've been using my body's utilities just to "preserve" through the sonics exposures all these years.. and, I guess, I just wasn't considered valuable-enough. .. And, I KNOW that there have been people who have Wanted for me, that did not have resources-- I hug you all sooo much, ty ty ty.

In CASE GOD DOES have a MIRACLE perfect intervention for me, then THAT is the tiny glowing ember left inside, for Him to preserve.

I HOPE that GOD has a Plan to Preserve my Life --
and that I will remain in good shape,
to help Humanity's current re-Futuring?

If not..
I will be honest with everyone at how SAD I feel inside.
I have GRIEF packed-out and stuffed tight inside my chest.
{betrayals.. and mounds of unreleased sorrows resulting from it! my family-original 'wished me as dead' long ago --
today is the 36th birthday of first-born}
*selah*

For those struggling right now?

The fact that you draw BREATH right now?, is a sign that GOD still has a REASON for you to be Alive.

Stay STRONG.
At a certain point, you will KNOW what you are Here For. Sometimes folks don't KNOW the 'what' yet, because the Future was not formed. You WILL know, and See. Stay Strong.

I pray that you will magnetically Find 'who and where' you Belong.

Lord! Gather these together to their Fellow Workers!

You Matter!!!, so much.
Take Good Care of YOU, and those you Love.
Love One Another.

Sometimes it's darkest, just before Dawn.
There's a Divine PLAN for your Life.
Hang in there.
*~

And should my soul depart the Earth at this juncture of time,

I ask God to roll-over any Power and Grace Giftings that my spirit and soul contained and stored. That these are to be released in a Shower of Blessings INTO the lives of those that Cared for me virtually, during these Days.

Let that be their Inheritance.
Nothing Lost-- sparks recycle, spread.

Lord, Let them INCREASE in Goodness and Power and Love and Effectiveness.

Comfort those who Grieve.
Let those that Survive BLOSSOM in Uniquely Incredibly Grounded Ways.

Protect them.

Transiting South Node in Capricorn
conjuncts my Prenatal New Moon Eclipse today-- That Eclipse happened on Christmas Day, when I was in my Mother's womb.

Transiting North Node is on my Mars Cancer 2+ in H7gem.

t Jupiter-Pluto is in 24+ Capricorn H2,
trine my (9)th House Moon in Virgo 24+.
t Venus in Taurus is in my 6th House now,
leaving the trine to my Moon.

t Jupiter-Pluto also is OPP my Vertex-Angel Cancer 24+ in H8.
.. they are also OPP my Uranus Cancer 25+ H8.
.. will opp chart's-ruler Jupiter Cancer H8 at 27+.

(music) My GrownUp Christmas List (Kelly Clarkson, lyrics) [4:44] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1TTnPdZOZI

______________
saving link (mar31,2020)
ULT12, astrology2.0 forum
{nakshatra discussion}
- http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/241745.html
______________

CORONAVIRUS March 15 post, page 7 items
- http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/000681-7.html

______________

posted April 07, 2020 01:30 AM            

The others who had been there left.
Heard that she had lost her job, besides the landlord's decision not to renew their lease. AND, turns out this was A Godsend for her--
Her income had been quite erratic since Thanksgiving 2019, and I heard she lost her job last month....
I'm so glad for her because "the timing" couldn't have been more PERFECT.
She (and all the people that stayed) moved-in with her Mother.
Combining all their monies together with the Mom's resources should give all of them more Security for the future. Makes good sense!
{Prayers for her}

So.
I can hear the new people's music.
Female artist singing.
Good so far, but super-loud.
No super-woofers in-play? Just loudness.
So far, that's a good sign!

Early this morning, the end-wall unit was incredibly loud. I ACTUALLY got the gumption to go KNOCK on their door, until they heard, and answered.
The man said he'd turn it down.
"God Bless You!" he says, whenever he sees me.

I had been doing REALLY well as far as those dizzy spells I'd been having.
Hadn't had "one of those" in over a month-- maybe two.
Tonight?.. it came back..
I feel "surreal",
as the concrete trembles beneath my feet once again.

Our State's County mayors have residents on mandated home quarantine.
My zipcode and the one a mile down the road are the areas "hot zones" for Coronavirus.
The head people (mayors, and law-enforcement head) of this county are basically Excellent. Mayor was RE-elected by landslide. He's been in politics here since I moved to this area.

It's the anniversary of my relocation to this area 19 years ago today (Monday).
--- Moved here Friday, April 6, 2001 .. morning.

I'm needing a RELOCATION that works now.
God, Have Mercy!
Don't want a Health Event from sonic battering.

Neighbor--
Hearing some kind of music?
Pounding beats--
but NO superbass and earthquake woofers.
So far, so good. Yay.

I hadn't been writing in this thread, and gave it a very brief break. Thing's are heating up again on the home-front, so I'm taking-up my thread again.

This is my crow's nest.
.. Watching the World

Prayers, …
for the sick, and for the well.
For medical teams around the GLOBE.

*~

If I remember correctly,
Uranus had entered sign of Taurus
and made immediate conjunction with asteroid Hygiea.

Looked-up my posting,
April 22, 2019--
from previous "Good Performed by One.." thread
- http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/000630-113.html

Posted this on EARTH DAY
QUOTE
There's a conjunction of SUN-URANUS-Hygeia in 2+degrees of Earthy Taurus (land!) today. What a Beautiful Synchronicity.
We are 'incepting' zodiac Taurus 'Earth Day', with this conjunction. It will last for the next 7 years. What a message!!! It's time to make a Change-- to be able to Innovate new technologies for taking care of our environmental needs, and to enjoy a Better Tomorrow for All living things through the Work we do today.
Hygeia..
"Healing"--
by the work of cleaning-up our Earth's environments.
Hygeia is also a form of asteroid Pallas Athene -- perceiving the trends and patterns going on scientifically, and applying the practical Wisdoms --
she rewards this, as "the goddess of miraculous healing."
-- END/QUOTE

Who could have seen that an extremely contagious Pandemic Virus would play a part in it?

{Thinking about it?, the Vedic astrologers had.}

Hygiea has to do with healing through cleanliness, sanitation-- GERMS! {aka viruses}
It is in Gemini-- Hands, handwashing.

Our human bodies are made from the earth, the dirt--
created out of the dirt,
TO the dirt we will return. {scripture}

Many areas are showing Environmental improvements to Nature. Nature is Healing, while many humans slow their pace, in home quarantine. Was amazing how much recovery there was in a short span of time. The Earth!, she is resilient.

Television in on in the background here.
An animal at veterinarian's office--
A TIGER in the Bronx Zoo (in New York)--
was just diagnosed with the Human Coronavirus??

Infections BY the pet owners? interesting.
Okay.. they say that it's rare.
They say that if an ANIMAL gets COVID-19, it is a mild infection for them? Not deadly, like it is to humans.

Anniversary today of my moving to this area.

After I arrived here, the church-'family' I came here to join my Heart and Hands and Voice with, to do Labors of Love, kind of folded/dented-in, after the pastor hired a corrupt administrator-- stole huge sums from the church.
… My own finances imploded one month after the move--
as I suddenly (without warning) lost 2/3rds of my income {no fault of my own}.
Had had no chance to settle in and get acquainted with the area.

The relocation had used up the bulk of the money I had saved, to 'start over' again. I lost my apartment-- but thank God, hadn't defaulted on lease.

I had NEVER ever thought for a single-moment that I'd ever have a problem with finding a job, finding a place?.. But then, I didn't have a car anymore, and public transportation here is poor actually (compared to cities our size). Was hard to explore.

It was SURREAL how I didn't make good connections here. Maybe because I was a total stranger to this area? Didn't know a soul... when I got into peril. No guidance. No church people offering to help me connect to what I needed.
.. That's what *I* had done for Others, in a smaller mega-church I'd whole-heartedly been a part of in late 1980s and early 1990s.
.. I'm a very friendly and social person. Would help new people feel at-home. Gift for hospitality, I guess.
I miss the friends I used to have in the choir I belonged to. Used to open my apartment on Sunday for church guests-- offered soup, sandwiches, conversation, ..or a blanket and pillow to rest before the evening services.

Life and Success froze once I got to this area-- 19 YEARS ago!! The move knocked forward-motion off-track. Just creepy.

Now more than ever, in elder years,
I need security and a GOOD place.
Not ready to Quit..-- No Way. hahah.
SOMETHING deep inside me still says "it ain't over" ??
Good then,

*~ @ 11:30pm Apr 5
This is the song
blaring through the walls from new next-wall neighbors right now!
haha--
Good Song.

(music) If You Leave Me Now (Chicago) [3:56] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2u4z92nCf0E

Here's their NEXT song selection. *grin*
I love Stevie Nicks!!

(music) Rhiannon (Fleetwood Mac, Stevie Nicks, live 1976, lyrics) [6:31] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuTzAha1t80

Did you know..
there's an asteroid 16912 Rhiannon? Yep.
In my (3)rd house (3rd = neighbor?)
intercepted-Pisces 21.46 ...

Have a Good Day..
it's after midnight.
Tuesday, April 7, 2020…
Full Moon in Libra 18.44 today at 10:30 p.m.

posted April 08, 2020 11:55 PM            

* Regarding that MUSIC in ~empty apartment?..
It was a temporary stay.

Incident happened in another apartment across and over ~4 places from me. Some kind of repair needed to done, and I think those folks were able to 'spend the night' in that empty apartment.

.. Oh but then--- yikes. The next night, the cleaning maintenance-lady came to spiff up and do final cleaning for some new tenant (date of move-in yet unknown).
SHE brought her audio system in there, and CRANKED it up, starting at 11:00 p.m.

wow! We couldn't hear our own TV!
Even Rm was ready to go pound the door, asking her to turn it down!
.. She refused to talk to us.
She screeched like a crazy-person cursing at us. Sounded like she was 'high' or drunk? --
Eventually turned it down sufficiently, after an hour.

* Happy Neighbor Chum
So I saw my very elderly lady chum-friend outside (lives directly across the street). She had been suddenly ill with rocketing high blood pressure around 6 weeks ago.
.. Had been admitted to the hospital to get it under control. She's doing quite well now, and is being spoiled. Not allowed to do anything, but rest.

It felt soooo good to chat with her -- at a 'proper' social distance -- for our brief exchange.

My elderly chum expressed appreciation (for fruit I gave them last week), and she wanted to catch-me-up on some gossip. .. Felt somehow delicious. I laughed inside my Gemini myself. Yep. Talking about what goes on with some of the action in the 'hood can be a type of entertainment.

Reminded me of scenes from Western movies, about social life in the 1800s. The community would get together once a week, and fill each other in on what's going on with Life.

{delete stories}

I go out several times a day to walk the 'hood. We wave affectionately to each other.

We watch out for each other, and, for the other neighbors. Like I've said, there are a solid core of us who have been living here together for years, for even a decade.

As I walk the 'hood, waving at everyone as I go, people give heart-felt greetings, wishing safety and health to each other.

*~
Oh. About that Latin-musical SUPERLOUD person (in adjoining neighborhood) that had been serenading folks blocks away-- after almost a week, they play their music at normal levels now.

What happened??

Another neighbor straight across the street from me went bananas with their own music-- They held a party of sorts. Their apartment backs-up to that Superloud person's property.

I imagine they FINALLY 'had had it with them?
Night came, and they BLASTED their audio system!
The SUPERLOUD people THEN-decided to hook up their microphone to the loudspeaker...
A male voice sang-out, with obviously-Drunk Karaoke!!! *laughing!! roll*

"Loud Met LOUDER" that night..
The next days 'superloud' was "contained".
No more daily concerts.

*Woofer Wars* !!!

. . . . .
Back to Serious
. . . . .
Of course, all the super-concertizing triggered pain.

* My situation
I REALLY hope that some folks are STILL working 'for' me in the backgrounds, somehow. I need health preservation, and restoration.

In closing, I EMBRACE my Virtual Group of readers at LL, and Beyond.

I WISH you Protection, Wellness, and Joy.

I plan to LIVE through all this, with God's help.
Thank you so much for thoughts, and prayers.

Yes, I Believe.

We ALL Must ..
This world is drastically changing.
As I look through the TV-glass at the news--
It's a window into a real world.
The Globe.
Deaths. It's so surreal.

Surreal... and Heart gripping.
The virus affects everywhere.

*~
Jewish Friends are in the Passover Celebration Days right now.
Performed their Seder Remembrance dinners via the internet.

We're in this Together.

For those who suffer deep losses at this time, May you Be Comforted.

Peace...
Shalom.

posted April 09, 2020 02:32 AM            

We have people like that here (their attitude is if it doesn't bother them then it can't bother anyone else either--they can even see themselves as good Christians) but they get contained after awhile, if not by the police then by vigilante violence (though where I live right now isn't violent, at least not for the most part).

And since the lock down where so many are home, the police come down even harder on loud noises...especially if they think that means there's a party there (as there was at spring break all over the nation, it seems). As a rule of thumb they don't want you out 10 PM to 8 AM unless you have a specific reason (like job or emergency) that is much more tightly enforced than at other hours, and a party not only breaks the social distancing, but implies many of them will be driving during this time. And with plenty of people easily angered in the lock down, the police know to get involved before it flares up into something worse.

(Heh, one even told me of an ice cream truck that started up as soon as the schools closed down--and getting kids to sell ice cream to, many without proper supervision even when parents could work from home cancelled out the benefit of shutting the school down, but that profiteer got busted by the cops and he's not selling ice cream now. He was probably glad when the cops showed up as many angry parents, mothers and fathers, had him trapped. )

Back when I did live in a slum I did get into a woofer war with some guys blaring their rap music. It ticked me off as it was talking about raping and pimping hos, so I dug out some Dianic (feminist) Wiccan cassette tape...the music was really bad, I'm surprised I hadn't gotten rid of it, but glad I had it then, and considered it being talentless in music and lyrics a bonus to add to how annoying it was, and plugged it into a woofer. The fact I suffered along with them was worth it just to know they were getting a taste of their own medicine. (If they didn't fear me then they feared my muscular, tattooed roomie, and it was well known we were both armed as well as physically fit and into martial arts.)

Unsurprising to me, the main offender later went to prison for killing his ex and it didn't happen much after that.

At least out here there's some thoughtfulness. There's actually a lot of good going on. I like how many stores have cracked down on hoarders, have taken measures to keep them from getting too full (though that sometimes mean waiting in a line outside before being allowed in to shop, but at least the lines at the register are short as a result!), and have special hours for the elderly to shop to minimize their chance of coming into contact with the virus. That's just one example. There are a lot of good people, just as there are many thoughtless, selfish, and even profiteering one seeking to exploit all this. But at least around here the bad guys are getting their comeuppance a lot faster both socially and legally (save for the very rich and politically connected, of course, but they don't come around here at least, we just see jacked up prices at most).

posted April 09, 2020 01:10 PM            

They don't at all consider themselves rude. They came here from a different culture/area/nation. It's "normal living" for them. Where they immigrated from, this is part of the "pleasures of life." America is a melting-pot?
.. softly, argghh *whimpers*

I had a terrible night last night. I think there must be an industrial-volume FAN sitting on the concrete slab our apartment units share. Concrete is a CONDUCTOR of vibration. The cot I sleep on was shivering.. I hadn't taken my pain pill, because I was trying to 'conserve'.. but OMG!!! Got up around 5 A.M., and took one. Took a long time for it to be effective. Eventually the fast 'spikes' turned into duller prods. It REALLY takes a LOT of inner-control and discipline for me to maintain self. I've had a few meltdowns before. These are RARE. I break out into PAIN-whimperings, MUCH crying, even moaning... Lasts for hours. I DON"T like to think about it. .. But things seem to be getting worse now, instead of better. It's a REAL CHALLENGE for me to 'just hold the moment'.. try not to think.

Remember the thread we had with LK, where we discussed "blue-sky Jesus"? … Yeah.. *tears* Sometimes I need to be outside, to SEE the blue, and remind me of the Goodness of God. Climb ABOVE, high outside my earth body, to place me in a faraway land above.

WOW!! Have the TV news on in the background.
This coronavirus thing is soooo surreal!

So. I have an appointment with my pain-doctor today. It's the only way that the State will allow him to REFILL my prescription. I take a drug that has an extremely very-low amount of an opiate in it. ..

The State automatically labels me a Junkie???
I RESIST taking meds. I'd rather just 'stand it' and teach the body to accommodate pain.

I Do The Best I Can.
Try to KEEP my Spirits up.

Gotta go finish getting ready for the outing.

posted April 10, 2020 07:06 PM            

Went out into the community yesterday--
(to go to doctor appointment, then pharmacy).

The GOOD PEOPLE in America!! They are SOOO EVIDENT during times like these. Don't know if my tears are from being sooo-impressed by how MUCH each one Shines, wherever they are..

or if tears are from the impact of Loss of Life, and the anguish of those souls who are left-behind--- without even being able to be near them at their passing to have said Good-bye.

God Bless those health care workers.
God Keep ALL PEOPLE Protected!!

Look at the Helpers .. Mr Rogers.

I wore a mask to my appointment.
I took a pink highlighter and made oversized smiley, lipstick lips.
Took a fine red marker to outline Hearts over the apples of both cheeks, and had these filled in with the pink highlighter.

A very elderly woman was wheeled into the waiting room. She had her mask on too.

I looked at her, opened my eyes wide--
I took my hands and air-drew a big Smile over the highlighted pink lips on my mask.

Did it twice--
then she LIT UP with a great big smile underneath her mask!!

posted April 15, 2020 01:27 PM            

During all this home-isolation from coronavirus, I would have really enjoyed this time -- to clean and purge materials, to study, to be Creative. However, the vibratory-spikey sonics, the physical pain and 'torture' I go through here is.. inhumane.

This makes me incredibly sad right now.
I can wake up feeling really really good, THEN, they hit the 'kryptonite' switch ON, and my world shifts to pain.

And on TV, I watch How Much people LOVE each other and would almost do 'anything' to save and to 'do' for their loved ones.

And then.. I see my own circumstance here..
and it points TO the 'fact' that I have no Love being demonstrated towards my life-itself.

I can feel that I am Value--
but if Others are not in agreement,
then,
I perish.
My life is over.

Been thinking about how (from the past) my children regarded me as their 'money-provider'.

I was TOLD by my youngest that I would NOT have a relationship with them IF I didn't "pay" them? PAY them to be in a relationship??
THAT gives me GRIEF...….
That's not relationship.

I can't BRIBE anyone with Money ..
{would be available to help 'make' some}

I guess the REAL "test of Value" then, is LIFE.
LIFE-ITSELF.

People who value the LIFE of Others,
would be qualifying me as "being" valuable.

So, I'm here vibing in the PAIN ..
The pills the doctor gave work well eventually and 'sometimes'.
Thing is, this horrible living condition degrades whenever neighbors want to make 'pleasure' for themselves, 'amuse' themselves/their children, with their powerful systems.

This constant.constant.constant living irritation of my electrical-neuro-system, with the same trapped patterns and spot, … is further making the sensitivity spread and go deeper and more inclusive of OTHER offending type of incoming-spikevibes.

My bedroom outside walls are surrounded by STRONG AC Condensing Units. These metal monsters (when stressing-hard) can shriek and severely shake the ground inches from outside walls on 'vibration-conductive' concrete slabs-- This can even cause the inside walls to feel their enormous shakings.
Everything.. is connected.
I live ON it, and within it.

I 'feel' the shaking.
Sometimes the pills that the doctor gave will have ACTUALLY "numbed" the spiking-jags, so that I can be aware of feeling the vibrating-- but thankfully, with NO pain associated.
I know that this kind of Peace is ARTIFICIAL, and temporary.

But it doesn't work ALL the time..
The doc wants me to take MORE and MORE pills for it! And inside me, I BALK at wanting to be "on" these opioids. *tears*

It is UNNECESSARY.... so unnecessary.
When the kryptonite is OFF,
ALL is better within my body...
But my mind knows with 'anticipation'... that this is not permanent.
I KNOW the switch WILL come 'on' at some point-- and this torture will be in effect for HOURS!! ALL DAY from point of it 'starting', and into the night.

The vertebrae bones of my spine are living wooden-receptors of beat-pulsing-vibes today. (Children's song... knick knack paddywack.)

I hate to complain---
but DUH! Holding all pain and sorrows in silence would be DEADLY…
I'm a super-sentient HUMAN.

God Magnanimously gave me the Gift of sensitivities of ALL Kinds. Many Kinds. It benefits others' lives, in proper circumstances.

Maybe, I'm as I've said, I'm getting more 'weary' every day. I TRY not to let it 'get' to me, psychologically. I'm a normally upbeat person-- but being beat-down in weariness by this, IF I 'think' there is NO way out. *bheart*

There's GOTTA be A Way!

Separate from body management,
.. There's a Beautiful HOPE and Light.
I feel ripe, strong. Ready for a New Future.
Even though I'm older, I have at least 10 to 15 years of 'usefulness' IF in a conducive setting.
Raring to Go!!! Heh. I've Got LIFE Ahead of me!!!
Productive Life.
I have a sense OF being loved by ~~Whoever/whatever.

I will NOT be abandoned to 'this' gloom..

There are People who "DO" LOVE ME--
even if they've never met me in-person.
I've been in-relationship here for years.
And it's "just" a (to me) blind-matter of Faith & Time?

So omg.
It's just another 'bad' day here..
Well? duh. {laughing }.
Bluntly? It's bad here EVERY day--
it's just that maybe my "tolerance" is a bit lower than usual?

(music) You Will Be Found (from Dear Evan Hansen, lyrics) [6:01] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boZDw7csDA4

(music) Get Here (Oleta Adams, lyrics) [4:31] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWqg_dS2sL0

~*

My God...
The WAVES of DEATHS from Covid-19 is CRUEL.

My Heart goes out to folks who have Lost their Loved Ones to it.

When we Lose them..
It can leave a hole in the Heart--

Heals in Layers---
But the wound can still be there for years.
Hopefully it will hurt less, then less, for you. --- And for persons in All Nations.

*hugging and strengthening your spirit*
You/We are Not Alone.

posted April 16, 2020 11:40 AM            

The Kryptonite-Switch didn't go ON until 9:30am.
That's one hour later than usual.
My computer chair is shivering.
The kitchen floor is especially worse.
The concrete pad here is like a giant rubber trampoline.
It's not just end-neighbor. It's multiple HEAVY audio systems.
Recognized one as playing Latino conga beats.

I went to the window of end-unit yesterday.
Made motions to them their music was TOO STRONG.
They don't speak English very well.
I had had another neighbor (spanishPentecostals like they are) who "explained" (in their mother tongue) the problems I have with deep-bass.
It's as though they weren't told?
Or is it, they REALLY (ESPECIALLY as Christians) didn't CARE--
that what they're doing is painfully hurting me????

I did as much work (cleaning) as I could until I felt sooooooo sick in my body from the beats. Tried to go out for walk, but the rain and wind made me turn back around to come home.

So. In order to help self "ignore body",
I NEED to find "distraction" on the internet. A project that grabs total attention will help me ignore how horrible this is today.

ugh.. Feel like I want to crawl into bed...
but I'd get no rest there. The bed shakes too.

It's NOT the HVAC. It's *them*.

I Want To Live!
Lord!!!!!!! Make A Way?
Let the Right People Kindly and Lovingly
Connect with me.

Today, transiting Mercury in Aries 9+..
conjuncts natal asteroid Compassion.

I know there are MANY who feel 'trapped'..
This whole ordeal resonates with so many times when I needed Others to 'be there' for me in my life.

If YOU are like that--
in the position I've been in, so many times...
My Heart is WITH yours.
Be SAFE. Be SAFE.

posted April 19, 2020 10:59 AM            

Thing is... THAT wasn't true of what I thought I moved to, here in this locale. And like I've written, that church had a fail. After a few years they re-organized, and opened in a different county, far away. But I was STUCK, in an area where I didn't understanding the culture. Had never lived in this region of U.S. ..

I remember PJ saying to look for another church?..
The ones (I know of) in this immediate region are exclusive--
(politically-dominated by single-party). Rather?.. I'm more into a place that include 'all'-- in bipartisan and Equal Way.

My relo chart for this region was not a bad one; except it pushed Neptune from 10th into the 11th. HAD I HAD good contacts here back in 2001, I could have flourished with that placement---- but TOO MUCH HARM entered my life. Too much TIME has gone by, where 'what' this region would have HAD to offer, couldn't be utilized by me anymore.

So. My mind twirls and loops and examines and asks WHY!!!?? My 'life' and potentials just 'locked up' here. No people in my life...… No people in my life..

It's about PEOPLE.
I have NEVER EVER had THIS MUCH PROBLEM connecting with Others, until I relo'd here.

So anyways.... The shaking quaking sonics are HURTING me.
That UPSETS me soooo much, because I'm a DO-er. I'm an active person. This ENVIRONMENT just has me feeling 'useless'....

I NEED my body in a SAFE AND conducive place for staying Alive, and being PRODUCTIVE.

*chomping at the bit* ..
I want to LIVE.
I want to BE and to STAY "HEALTHY"..
So I can Serve.

Thanking all who work in the background on my behalf.

I don't know WHY it has suddenly gotten MUCH WORSE?
Except too-- they MUST have spent some money to buy even-more powerful equipment!

The other thing is that we had had some empty apartments around us, that have 'just' been filled.

Like I've said before, there is NO Govt Funds for me to qualify to. There is sooo much unemployment and people have lost their homes here. Lots more homeless filling the shelters. Lots of coronavirus IN those shelters, and in the old folks homes here.

I'm a regular person, looking for a good place, and .. to be productive.

If I am in a GOOD Place, I have a solid 10 years of life (to 75), AND more! I come from a family line of long-lifers.

Again, THANK you for whatever is going on for helping me, from the background. I don't really know who you are, but I am SOOO GRATEFUL.

God Bless my Rescuers!
In Advance!

If you are an empath...
I pray for your Comfort.
(yeah, it's pretty bad in my body)

posted April 26, 2020 10:40 AM            

The focus is on Relationships.

I had some really good posts for Earth Day, and the Moon, but couldn't get at proper computer time. The energy of it was absorbed, and offered UP to the atmosphere...

In my apartment, the torture-by-sonics is cruel and incredibly strong.. and sometimes I am afraid of reaching my body's breaking point. I PRAY with all my might to get through it.

Lord send Help!!

posted April 30, 2020 11:44 AM            

From what I catch off the astro love light people, they are saying they will not ACT on promises for 4 MORE MONTHS????

I have been AT THE PEAK of tolerance here in this body.

The SONICS are HURTING ME.
The past two days have been some of the WORST.

Inside me, … not only my body howls with pain, but I am STUCK. I have NO one I can go to for HELP. I live in a draconic-run USA State, who have deliberately undermined and crippled all the help agencies over these years.

My only last-act would be to throw away ALL my possessions, go out into the streets unsheltered, and just crawl under a bush to wait for death by the elements, or by criminals.

SAD... I can't believe that the ~Love and light community who SAY "All are ONE" and they SAY they are practicing Compassion.. have OVERLOOKED me.

A few days ago I opened the door to go outside, and I saw two red cardinals in our parking lot. Red Cardinals symbolize Messages from The Other Side.

The night before last, I was dreaming that my Father was calling me-- He called TWICE. I heard his voice but couldn't discern what he was saying. It was as though he were STILL alive, and it was a social call.

My physical father DIED.
He's been dead since May 4, 2008 Sunday night. The Sun was conjunct my VENUS Taurus, and the Moon was Taurus... Hmmm. Weirdly enough? At the moment he died, the Moon was going over my P.o.Father, P.o.Fate.

So. The empty apartment next-wall is having someone move in. Tomorrow is May 1st-- usually a move-in lease day.

If THOSE people have woofers and strong music, I AM DONE. I'M out, AND basically it would mean my productive life is OVER?

An 'astrological' 4 MORE MONTHS WOULD HARDLY BE DO-able.

In Order To INCREASE my CHANCES of Getting HELP-----
I want to EXPAND my Call out------
I want to ASK that if there are any Christians reading this, any Pastors, and you have or they can provide SANCTUARY for me, then, I'd very much appreciate the CONNECTION.
.. I would be Willing to Serve their Christian community, for Sanctuary.
This pain is atrocious!!!!!

This right now is arriving at state that is ~EMERGIC.

Yesterday morning around 5:30 am, everything was GOOD! No shaking, No Pain.
I MARKED that moment as my "NORMAL."
PAIN is NOT normal.

Being in perpetual and UNNECESSARY PAIN every single day, growing STRONGER NOW--- is WRONG.

I deserve a way OUT.
I deserve to be ALIVE and in NO Pain-- WHICH is POSSIBLE!!!!!!-- based on yesterday morning's very brief hiatus.

I'm a GOOD Person!!!!!!!!
I want to be a useful and productive and engaged as a Giving human being to this World.

SOMEBODY--- Please REACH OUT.

Maybe all these death~y things are crowding my dreams~~~?

My DREAM is to STAY ALIVE!!!,
And to be able to be Well, and SERVE.

So. If anyone knows GOOD People that I can be connected to, I'd appreciate your willingness to HELP me with that.

I'm kind of blind as far as WHAT is available.
The Internet is a Wonderful Tool for Connection.

I'm going to BELIEVE that "I am HEARD" --
I PRAY that my Help comes SOON.

Thanks in Advance for All Blessings.

posted April 30, 2020 09:05 PM            

Summary:

quote:

---

Newsom made the announcement outside a Motel 6 in San Jose, where he touted his “Project Roomkey” initiative introduced two weeks ago.

The federal government has agreed to pay 75 percent of costs associated with housing some people experiencing homelessness. The project covers people who test positive or may have been exposed to COVID-19, older homeless people and those with underlying health conditions.

Participating counties are responsible for identifying which individuals need a Project Roomkey placement, and then moving those individuals into the rooms.

While praising municipalities that have stepped in to find temporary housing for the homeless, Newsom said Saturday there were “equivalent number of cities” that are blocking efforts to help the homeless. He wouldn’t name them.

“Please consider the morality of those decisions. Consider the moment we’re in and the ethical question you’re being called and asked upon. Consider your station in life and in history,” the governor said. “All of us will be judged.”

Los Angeles County prosecutors requested an emergency hearing with a federal judge Friday, alleging the cities of Lawndale and Bell Gardens threatened to terminate city permits for hotels and motels participating in the program.

Laguna Hills in Orange County is also pushing back against plans to move homeless people into a hotel, the Orange County Register reported Thursday.

The city filed a lawsuit on Tuesday claiming the county’s plan “poses a direct threat to the health and safety of the surrounding community.”

An attorney representing the city and building owners said there was concern the facility could not be secured which could increase the threat of community spread of the virus.

---

So not everyone is on board. While you're personally eligible it sounds as if they're trying to get those who have the disease roomed first. So it's a gamble, and I'm sure others will be coming to California because of this which makes it a big gamble.

The one homeless shelter I know of is on lock down and not accepting anyone else.

While there is another I could check, a Christian one, I've heard such horrible stories, especially by women, of being financially exploited (like if they got social security then they claim a large part of it, supposedly to be given back, but you never see it again), sexually exploited by "Christian" (many of them ex drug addicts) staff, and tormented by one woman in charge (things could've changed in the last year since I learned of this, but probably not much). It's also in a violent spot (that includes some of the women being violent).

So as of this time I honestly don't know where you could stay, and even if you got here there's no guarantee you'd get a motel room (and even then it would last only through the crisis, and getting housing out here is extremely difficult due to insane rents, and the average wait time for some kind of government assistance for the elderly and/or poor tends to be about 5 years).

And a spooky thing has also happened: homeless people I knew just vanished. Not all at once, and those who hadn't said they didn't know what happened to the others, and finally they were all gone. That's scary. It makes me think of times in the past when the United States grabbed the homeless and other vulnerable populations to conduct medical experiments on them against their will (or at least twist their arm to do so) which I'm sure many private and governmental organizations would be tempted to do so now (probably cheaper than trying to buy subjects from privatized prisons that will do the most profitable thing), and though we always act (or pretend to be) surprised when it comes out later, it just keeps on happening, and I don't doubt IS happening. But it's a mystery to me.

xxx

You'd probably do better to work through this:
http://endhomelessness.org/how-to-get-help-experiencing-homelssness/

As much as I hate to advise this, I'd advise you claim you're staying with someone else who won't let you stay long, that is you're already homeless who has been given a temporary place that you don't know how long it will last and you need to get elsewhere ASAP. Otherwise they might tell you to call back when you're actually homeless, and these things ALWAYS take time to get through (unless you're really lucky--and some people will bend the rules for the elderly, but they usually have to see you first before they'll risk bending/breaking the rules).

posted May 01, 2020 02:12 PM            

-- EDIT ADD --
"EDIT: given the blatantly criminal action I explained as an option I decided to remove it. You probably wouldn't have done it anyway, and even if you did it might not work out as expected. "

OMG, you make me LAUGH at the 'thought' of what you might have written there!!

-----------------

Today here-- there's less sonics going on than the whole last week. Gives me a semi-day off.

I had seen some articles months ago about hotel rooms being given to the MI/Homeless. It was a very very temporary experiment for them, designed by insurance agencies who figured they'd "save money" by renting them hotel rooms rather than having these show up in hospitals and emergency room services. They KNOW how hard it is on the body and body's immune system to live without a roof over your head.
When I had gone through my stint with homelessness, the 'germs' almost took my life. The EXHAUSTION and depletion due to hardship on the body was the WORST. At my age, I wouldn't last long.

Yes-- The rents are OUTRAGEOUS. Here, they don't have enough Housing; the places you get are just-like where I live. People all jammed together under ONE roof, and given the 'impression' that you're in a place of your own, when actually it's an illusion they sell. We live TOGETHER under the same roof, and share the same vibration-conductive concrete pad here.

As a "place" --
I like the design of the apartments where I am very much.

Even though it's small,
Rm and I have learned to get-along
{1st day here = anniv
June 1, 2007, at 4:00pm}.
(really interesting chart! *smile*)
Matches to both our natals.

He feels 'content' here because he doesn't have sensitivity. In his physical body, we found out that he has fewer pain-receptors in his nerve system. Found that out medically. He has a condition in his intestines that the doctor said has other patients BEGGING for pain-pills.
He's had bone surgeries where he had NO pain afterwards. Wow..
So. His body has fewer pain receptors. He simply cannot relate to 'what' I go through here.
He's also pretty much TO himself. Not able to respond with emotions WITH another person... and I 'understand' that. Emotions overwhelm him-- I watched other 'brief' relationships others had started with him. The moment they had a critical need {one woman, got Cancer diagnosis}, he blanks out and steps away from them. Don't know why, but, there must be a reason somehow.

He's been VERY non-possessive, non-territorial with his things. He is VERY liberal and magnanimous to anything I would ask (IF I ask). Of course, I am very strictly supporting of my own self needs. I RARELY barely ask for anything. He is only too glad, IF I ask.
{When we go to fast-food, he ALWAYS insists on paying the bill. So nice!!, otherwise, I couldn't afford the fast-food places.}

I've basically gotten used to his non-responsiveness--
although at times,
I long very much to have real-people to relate to.
I have my LL Relationships. My discourses in the main threads I've had, have been the places where I shared (even my emotions, neg and positive).

Not having alive-persons (not remote internet) has felt very very isolating for me over the 13 years we've been together.

When he purchased a home computer, I got MUCH further into astrology (than endeavoring to get time at library, which was made VERY difficult, as they limit sessions, AND I had religious-folks belligerently interfering with my time -- not just on computer, but in various stacks at the library-- they considered this to be 'of the devil')
... Rm knew what was happening, and was happy to rescue from that scene. I'd had security guards come up to me to ask if I was okay, when these folks were loud and pushy with me, tailing me.
Then I found Lindaland.
{anniv May 12, 2012}-- caused a whole other world to open up to me!!

PJ.. After that bad outcome with the pastor {and church body} that I moved to this location for, and because-of-which I wound up "in the system" {which is a hell-pit!!!}, I tried to get involved in HELPING the System--- However, the 'corruption' was solidly ingrained. Online, I had come across others who had been here, and were here TO work FOR the system-- who LEFT the area because of how toughened these were. They went to a different State, and established successfully, doing the thing they had wanted to start here.

On my walk this morning, I 'thought' about some of the people I had started to get involved with. One was a man that 'the system' was grooming for their purposes. They put him in charge of an agency that gave assistance to blacks. I had no idea the kind of character he had--- We were in the car. Whenever we passed a black person, he would SPEW the most VILE speech at these. It's like, OMG!!, and HE was in charge of making decisions FOR these people???
.. I CUT my association with him IMMEDIATELY.
I found that there were people in KEY positions who HATED the people-group they were hired to Serve.
.. One man I had watched {who freshly hurt another agency}, managed to get himself appointed (on purpose/and agenda) to head a charitable agency that had served a BIG need for this community for ~15 years.
.. He successfully undermined it, then through his incompetence SHUT it DOWN within just-over a year of taking over. Not only did he destroy it, but he hurt lives that had been doing soooo well WITH the kind of help this agency gave. .. Next he was appointed to head on agency on the sea coast, and I found out he botched the works of two other help agencies there. .. Now he's back here in the general area again, as the head of something important. .. Important because I could possibly have a run-in with him IF I decided to actually firmly establish myself 'here' for the rest of my life. I would steer a wide berth around his company and network. .. I know TOO MUCH--- I have had SUCH mixed and toxic feelings about remaining in this area. My feeling goes hot and cold. Mostly though, I KNOW TOO MUCH.. it's not for me.
.. As a result--
I'm already "pre-repulsed!!!" LOL.

I kept thinking of 'why' I would have said asking pastors...

In my own mind, these are supposed to be HONEST, and FULL of integrity. …. But, taking my rose-colored glasses off, that is NOT what I had encountered in my relocation to this area. I was basing my decision off the excellent (real) experience I had once had in the late 1980s.

PJ and everyone------- There is just something IN me that is SOOO repulsed at dishonesty in people right now. *tears*
haha, maybe it's my "Jupiter opp Jupiter" transit??

I WANT to be able to TRUST people.
I don't belong in a world of back-stabbers.
I like HONESTY, and CLEAR people, with clean souls.
I know people aren't perfect--- and ain't one of those, haha.
But WOW!!!, wouldn't it be cool to be able to BE with Others you know are "good people", who want to live among others who are also working on being their Best selves.

To me-- I think much can be 'done' by folks that are thus-minded.

Long ago, I had done a post in 'Good Performed' thread. It was a description of a (dream)Vision that had quite-intensely grabbed hold of my soul and imagination that day-- seemed almost like an open-vision, and I was the main character in it, while I watched and reported.

I saw myself as a philanthropist. I ran a house (a mansion), shared with others of same soul. I was fulfilled while begin the matron of this housing .. I saw myself in front of a huge stone fireplace, at a table-desk. I provided monies for people who were trying to Make A Difference. The house had folks who shared their Talents and supported each other in projects being worked on.
.. My soul was HUGE with overflowing sense of purpose, and I knew we worked HARD for the people of the Earth, making it better for the peoples that inhabited.

My inherent Gifts flow in an atmosphere where my basic needs are soundly taken care of. {The nakshatra of my Moon!}

One of the reasons I began to recover from experience of the homelessness was that I could support my needs from the check I get. Rm had to pay for the shell of the apartment 'anyway'. He said whatever small extra cost (utilities) having me here was well WORTH it. He said he realizes my worth to him (now especially since he is nearing 80 yo in a few years).
He said that when I move, he will NOT have anyone else living with him. I am welcomed to BE here as long as I wanted.

Thing is.. that while I recovered from my previous stint, and while I took care of HIS needs (medical/domestic), and while I discovered the marvel of astrology, and writing posts here at LL, I began that awful sensitivity that started WEARING on this body.

I dealt with AWFUL neighbors in my back window at night, who were drunk and brawling, even threats to me-- they sat in chairs right outside the window. I got VERY sleep-deprived for years.
.. I would have sought a job out in the community, but I was in 'no shape' with being sleep-deprived.

At the volunteer job I did for 3 years, once a week (or more when they needed), the volunteer coordinator looked at me one day as she went to leave the office, and said that WHAT I had needed in my life, was a MENTOR.

So again and again, her mentioning that, takes me back to different juncture points in my life, where it would have been Critical to my Success HAD someone stepped forward to do that for me.

Initially of course, that's the Job of a parent. …… Which is probably 'why' I had the recent dream about my dad calling me on phone in my room. {My father is dead.}

I've been like a person who has all these pieces of gifts. I've walked around looking for ANCHORING that I never received.

That's what part of Caring is about, to me.
When I see others, I have no qualms about helping them in whatever ways I can. And, I HAVE helped many.. in my past.

Now I'm at 'this' point in my life.
I've been here at LL for 8 years.

I know that my posts have been followed by people for a LONG long time.

I think others KNOW of the Caliber of person I am. I have a spirit of Excellence.

To become homeless at 65yo, would be the DEATH of me. My body couldn't take it. Death of any potentials I have left. Death of any life trainings and experiences I've ever had.

I've had a rich life.

IF this place was not bombarded on the inside with horrible body-pounding subwoofers-- and had {RM} been more accessible as a person of experiences that would have helped me with the things of life I had gaps for, I would probably found some kind of niche here in the community ?? I don't know. I don't know how much of a 'match' I am to the area. I just don't know. I would have thought that GOD could have brought folks into my life in this area. Didn't happen.

I try to scrounge my mind about other relocations I've had. There was 'always' a people-connection that acted like a lily-pad. Bridges.

Heheh… I'm thinking about the Great Ships that would try to cross the Atlantic. There's a 'gap' in some latitudes where the winds didn't operate the sails. The ships would coast until the winds caught sail again.

There's a part of me that has a sense that a great solution for me will be found.

It's NOT going to involve homelessness.
THOSE days are DONE.

I'm a part of other people's lives.
There's a Prosperity that I bring.

It's May 1st.
No stirrings of new neighbors yet.

Right now, the end-unit people have quieted their system. They have children. Must be NAP-time.

WITH ALL MY HEART,
Thank you sooo much for thinking of me.

I hope you're staying Healthy and not too bored from 'isolation' with Coronavirus-19 Pandemic.

I've GOT TO be able to GUT all that might be happening over these next weeks, as new people are incorporated into the 'hood.

I PRAY SO HARD that someone will Contact me,
through Webmaster OR if they already have my contact info (which some groups have, I believe, from my having been on their mailing lists).

INSIDE me, it still feels Forward.
I tend to want to keep apologizing for sonic-Pain OUTBREAKS---- but then, how ELSE would people know what I 'need'.

I'd RATHER just post informative and inspirational stories and music. I'd rather have discourses about the astrology.. and even to talk more about my Belief system. I think there are folks of other systems who are interested in what I Believe in.

I listen to others, and their Belief systems.
I think MUCH is learned by those kinds of exchanges.

Story of The Elephant, with the blind people on various parts of the Elephant's body, trying to Describe their Experience.

I'm working on some posts for others, in some of the forums here.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for responders to this particular thread. You Lift me UP.

posted May 05, 2020 08:33 AM            

My Progressed Moon slipped into Aquarius last night.
My chart's nodes are getting ready for an Inverse Nodal Return, now that the nodes are switching signs to Gemini and Sagittarius.

Part of my fear right now is NOT being able to move out. I'm incredibly frustrated, and more-so as time goes by.

And I wish I had someone to talk to..
Oh well

posted May 05, 2020 12:12 PM            

End/start of the month is especially busy, even for me still. Though I have a bit more free time, that's kinda cancelled out by my partner being home so much (who thinks I spend too much time on the computer) as she works from home.

Someone has been hosting her son and soon we will be returning the favor by hosting another family's. The boys play a lot of video games though I might get them into some shows I think they'll like, and if so, that will take up even more time (not that it's time wasted, granted, I'd rather take them camping or something but that's not much of an option right now even if they were into that).

This computer I'm using is dying (though I have a laptop). I already have what I need, almost, to set up a relatively new computer but still need some more components and it's not a good time to be shopping for that.

I've had scores of videos on my WL that I've been trying to get to. I have marked a lot of my list but I'm at the long ones now (most about a half hour minimum). I get frustrated as they just seem to build up and I don't get to see them. So many always want me to see this vid or try that show and I just don't have the time (sometimes so much gets pushed at me that I wouldn't have time even if all I did with my time was watch).

I have a couple I exchange emails with on a regular basis but even they haven't heard much from me lately.

I see a lot of good and evil out there now. The less said the better, I think, but it causes some real mood swings in me. And there's been some drama but I don't feel it's appropriate to talk about on an open forum. But personal stuff aside, I have observed enough to think some people get into certain careers (from charities to public schools) for easy victims and/or to embezzle funds without guilt and/or the ability to express their hate and contempt on those they catch in their web (sometimes as required by law). Not all by any means, but common enough that if I were to start my own charity I'd be conducting full background checks (no I don't consider that money wasted, the program can't work if those people get to worm their way in) as well as keeping a sharp eye out for that.

I exercise by jogging and walking up a steep hill (and then through a park) as well as at home since the gym is shut down for now.

I'm doing major revisions (again) to a scifi I'm writing. When I finish it I'm going to put it up for free, but still pay to copyright it. I'd rather that then selling it to some corporation that will (or the ones that buy them out will) completely change it with their own ghost authors and even bar me from working on the story again, and I want to share a vision of the possible future, both promising and frightening, than get rich and go around signing autographs. (I actually prefer not to feel too exposed anyway, being exposed is like a bullseye on you from all too many bad elements.)

Hmm...are you a fan of a series? Because chances are there's a fandom message board you might try out. The biggest problem I have with those are the shippers. I really don't understand why that gets even worse than talking politics, religions, guns, and feminism online, but it does, and in many fandoms they'll hijack every thread as another front for their shipping war. ("Ship" is short for "relationship" and implies a romantic relationship. It can be a disturbing world, especially the "crack ships" which are those that are so crazy, either in how it's portrayed or the pairing itself, that it's implied they smoke a lot of crack to be into it. They can get rabid, even threatening actors and writers of the show, let alone each other.) It doesn't always happen, but it's common enough to keep an eye out for it and best to avoid boards that allow that (those that don't often find the worst shippers leaving as a group, though interesting enough they'll all--of a specific ship anyway--return at about the same time, I presume when they leave another board tired of their crap, though they'll bristle if asked about it and swear it's just a coincidence). I post very rarely (even more rare than LL) on a RWBY fan board.

You might try boards for issues like PTSD and all that. They tend to be very strict, and people with issues can post while those issues are in effect, but if you keep that in mind you might find one that works for you.

I thought there were hotlines for people who are lonely as well. I did find this:
http://www.crisistextline.org/topics/loneliness/#how-to-deal-with-loneliness-4

If you try them (or another service), please share how it goes so I'll know if they're worth recommending to others.

I do know you have to be proactive in getting help, not just waiting for them to call back, because so many need help and they push to get it, so those that try to patiently wait their turn often get forgotten. (To be fair, it's hard helping people when so many need it.)

Obviously, don't give credit card, social security number, or money. And if you suddenly get a spike in calls from "friendly" salesmen and the like then cut all connections to them. (While I'm at it, I'll point out that the government ALWAYS sends a letter, so ask for one first and confirm it as there are too many scam artists who target the vulnerable like the psychopaths they are.) I don't know how good (or bad, knowingly or otherwise) they are. It might help. Good people, including in charities, do exist (their greatest weakness in assuming others are in it for the same reason which makes it easy to take over or screw them over).

I don't like that you're so lonely so I'm adding this, but I doubt I'll be posting much here at LL much for the foreseeable future, at least until autumn begins. Once the lock downs lift I'll be busy in so many other ways, too. I'm actually hopeful that I might wind up in a better place than I was before, but it's going to take some effort (which I'm already laying the foundation for).

That said, I've been thinking of this song a lot (seems prophetic now), and you might like it as well (played at low volume) called Unchain Utopia:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H33aBWWIkis