posted July 07, 2015 06:53 PM            

I drew aura portraits for people (at workshops, and a couple fairs) using dry pastels back in the late 1970s/ mid 1980s. I'd write some of the meanings of the colors in ink at the bottom. (I'd make them inspirational.)

One time working on a lady's portrait, I kept hearing these outside-words, "You need to pray more!" again "You need to pray more!" So I looked up at her and just-plainly said those words, "You need to pray more!"

Well, she was shocked. She told me that 'something' had been nudging her to pray more, recently. And she had heard those words inside her head clearly that morning.

posted July 08, 2015 10:25 AM            

You said something on here, not too long ago,

and I have been going bananas trying to find

it again.

Something about if there was ANY change in you

(i.e. the type of person you are, or something),

it wouldn't be your doing, but God's.

Do you remember that, and if so... could you tell

me approx. where I can find it?

Sorry to derail... will edit.

Thank you.

posted July 08, 2015 05:50 PM            

[quote}
Something about if there was ANY change in you
(i.e. the type of person you are, or something),
it wouldn't be your doing, but God's.

Do you remember that, and if so... could you tell me approx. where I can find it? [/quote]

Nope, can't recall ....sorry.

What I can sorta say here is that some people can have a profound experience (God, NDE/OOBE's, meeting angels) that can a big impact on them, where they 'see the light' on something having to do with their past directions or behaviors, which can influence that person to change 'their own' mind or actions.

IF I had an opinion about that?

I wouldn't say that 'GOD' did it, but that a situation can present itself where 'the person' DECIDES for themselves 'what' they want to do or believe 'as a result' of ~{blank}.

Does that help? ...

What's the context? .... Want to leave the LL URL here?

posted July 08, 2015 07:36 PM            

I think one does not have to be the preacher or the teacher in order to contribute. It sounds like you did a wonderful job. You are a gemini with the moon in virgo and sagi asc. All mutables. So your role is to channel and communicate, not to lead or to organise. Of course I haven't seen your chart. I'm just refering to your big three. You may correct me. Communicating, processing information and knowledge for the sake of the many. You've got a lot of enthusiasm in you, so it can go well with religious or otherwise spiritual contents.

Teach me how to see auras! Why won't you write a guide about it? You can write about it on the internet and so help others. It can be very helpful to aid others in such a way.

You may write a book about it. If you take good notes you may write your own stuff. Whatever you feel is the best way to spread the knowledge. You may describe the colours and what they mean, etc...

Can you detect emotions through the aura? How so?

Although I must say I am still far away from seeing auras. I still need to make corrections. If you understand. But I used to dream about opening my third eye and seeing auras. There is still a road for me to walk. I wonder if I'll ever will. I don't know if that's a "must" before one finishes his/her lessons here and leaves for good. Dr. Charles Moses said a human being cannot move on from this dimension to the next before one evolves and awakens. So I wonder what that means for people for whome the door to being evolved in the way Charles Moses is (yes, I believe he is still alive) is closed. I watched his videos and envied his knowledge. He lives in a way I desired to live. He is also a poet, you know. He was a friend of Linda. I have one of his books, but I couldn't delve into it. In addition, have you read "Gooberz"? His poems are all over that book.
He is living my dream.
I don't have "Gooberz" anymore. I gave it away. (And I gave myself away as well.I don't think my birth chart belongs to me anymore. Strange, but I'm changed)

Hope everything is allright with you, keep me posted!

posted July 09, 2015 05:06 AM            

been something you quoted-- I just can't recall.

Will see what I can come up with.. thanks, again

posted July 10, 2015 03:23 PM            

Ayelet... I didn't see your 'deleted post' (to let you know...)

I need to watch my energy output right now.

I was very very brave during the test. Nobody would have ever guessed the level of fright inside me. Results will come a week from today. In the meantime I'm taking a drug (anti-inflamatory) for 5 days, NSAID-type, which is a resurrection of an old drug that got banned from use in the USA. So, I'm an 'experiment' right now. (You should see the asteroids relating to all these~~ would blow you away!)

So, I'm feeling super lightheaded and like crap right now.

Neighbors in backwindow woke me up just after 1:00am and talked and socialized till 2:40. At around 2am I opened the window and told them I had a throbbing migraine and asked them please to take their conversation to a different spot, but it took them half an hour to respect my request (if you want to say that they actually responded).... (They are bullies.)

Ayelet--( What has happened to nearing nerves?)
I'm not exactly sure... except for living in an environment that has been so sonically-hot and loud, and with all the stress that went with it, and sleep deprivations that go along with it, that 'I think' my bodynerves-system got over-jolted chronically over-stimulated WITHOUT being able to 'adequately' reverse/rest themselves inbetween peaks. (That's my theory.) (I have another guess right now that 'proves' certain 'hearing' and medical-asteroids LOL.--- Like I said, that would take a lot of length to discuss, but fascinating.)

NO I haven't read GOOBERZ yet.... It was out of print when I looked for it. *sad face* Some time, I'll find a copy.)

Ayelet, you say you don't think your birthchart belongs to you anymore.... Somehow? I really trust what you're saying. ... There's a thing called Progressed/ Secondary Progressed Charts. Big changes of zodiac signs and formation of aspects in it, compared to natal chart, and to current transits, can reveal ADDED information about what's going on in a spirit sense. It's the chart of you, evolving the Plan for your life. At your age right now, you're beginning new shifts that will be a 'corridor' of inner change, impulses, woundings, even spontaneous Kundalini energy rises (within a few years for you, super-guessing here --- that would be around the time of your Unarus opposed Uranus which is a LONG-ish transit, among others at that time.... You will be fine and at an advantage in life handling these energies if you know about it 'in advance' and understand what it is... I pray it brings out your guru... your inner-guru/outer-guru, because maybe 'in a certain sense' that's 'what you are'... These will bring it out of you... Your 'presence' on this earth has been very important-- whether you realize/know it or not. The fact that you have remained Alive has BOOSTED the Collective....... Never Give Up! .... And p.s., I won't either! LOL).

I like the way you described my chart Ayelet. I think you have a knack for this? {hug}

So anyways, I gotta go rest right / do some homework right now.... It'll take my mind off 'the worry'......... Astrology has always been an EXCELLENT outlet for me, in SOOOO many ways. I keep growing and growing!

---- Thanks, I'll keep people posted!
Love you-all

posted July 11, 2015 02:25 PM            

Were the tests painful? I hope they weren't.

It doesn't matter you haven't read that deleted post. Didn't think that was too important.

Mirage, I know you don't care about aging, but do you wish to be physically immortal? I mean, it's good you don't care, that way you can switch from one age to the other. But do you feel you can be serious about it? Doing whatever Linda has recommanded in her book and KNOWING you can? Do you have the drive to it, the ambition, the wish?

Because one needs act on it to have it, you know.

posted July 13, 2015 06:14 PM            

You asked: ~Why won't you move?

Answer: 1) Because I don't have a 'place' to go to, and 2) am without any funds/outside-resources or contacts to get me, help me set-up, then help get introduced in my new community...

I am believing-hard for a total financial miracle re-start for my life. I've gone as far as I can 'on my own'. (This feels like the stall I had giving birth to my breech-presentation daughter, where they were telling me to 'push', and even though my spirit was willing, my flesh was completely 'done' at the point where her body was out, but not the head. The doctors did a forceps intervention, before she'd be tempted to start breathing-in the meconium, etc.)

I humbly must admit that I am in transition-stuckness. I want to leave here and be somewhere safe, private, nurturing, and would expand my abilities on all levels.

I want to either be all on my own, or in a nurturing intelligent fun greater community. I want them to like mystical-things that are grounded; and that astrology could be a strong core with them. (I like the traditional kind of astrology, and ancient mysteries.)

Doing the start of the mid-process of this phase, and I cannot seem to 'find' what's next--- it's all 'defeating' type of view to it (which MAY be 'me', hence wanting extra view here).

I tried things before and there are not things available to me on my own power to do and get.

(A big part of this is the way my govt has the system set up.... fair and quite generous to some demographics, but I fall in the cracks. To get 'REAL' help that works for me, I need people who are either adepts at the system (who wouldn't force me to commit fraud, like the last offer in 2006/2007). Or those who are "outside" the system to step in and do something Kind for a Gentle Soul.)

The world has changed way too much for me to just jump-in 'a-IT-is and I-am'... Without help, I would simply get overcomed, then breakdown every gain I've made over the past 15 years. It is a freakin' miracle that I am here, right now, typing on this keyboard. And I want to KEEP GOING strong and forward, than to miserably shatter totally demoralized and nothing but a vegetable depending on people TOTALLY and ~basically dead in a live-body.

My gains are something that I can take Pride in. I came all this way, all by myself. (If you'll allow me to state it that way? because I know that many invisible things occur that are things to BE grateful for!) It was my self-determination that brought me through ALL this crap. I'm sitting here, in my right-mind, in my bothered-brain body, and all I've been asking for is a wise and soul-beautiful advisor/friend-mentor in my life.

Beginning again... And being careful to guard my own personal 'gains' (psychological, confidence in a future) against grievous losses right now. I want my rocket to achieve altitude, and not blow up prematurely.

I look forward to a happy relocation, new-starts, new possibilities where I can heal further, pour-out the wisdoms that are in me, and hug and heal Others along the way. I need to be with Others who are at my level or Higher right now. (especially the Higher-part) And I want it to include learning MORE astrology!!!

And I want to add, how I feel good as a whole... My body needs some work right now!!, and maybe some emotional TLC.

But I just don't want to go through everything 'Alone' all the time. It's been sooo burdensome to do everything from the down-position, when I deserve to accept help and not have to strain so much that it wears me in a way that is hard to re-charge.

Song: So Groovy Now, that people are finally getting together! LOL

posted July 20, 2015 10:19 PM            

I wish you the abundance you deserve. May you find the best way to express yourself, so you will attract materially some of the spiritual energy you sow.

I used to be interested much in astrology, and still am. I used it as a tool to understand others, and still do. As for myself, like I told you, I don't feel my chart belongs to me anymore, and I don't understand much in progressed chart. I feel I am blocked. I feel I am cut off my spiritual root. And I am going through something which is changing me. Let's hope for the best

I am wondering how it will be like to leave the body. To finally get in touch with what right now I cannot.

How many children do you have?

You know, the songs you leave are always so cheerful. I love them even though "my" songs are different, as I am water, you are fire. I am leaving you with one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GL8pzEDLAV0

posted July 20, 2015 10:43 PM            

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AYELET!!! {{{{ }}}}

posted July 21, 2015 08:37 PM            

Maybe you need to learn to levitate? It would be a way of leaving the body, yet not... You just kinda float-there with it!

You know, there were times when I thought the Universe was trying to kill me off, but instead, going through all the trials and tribulations were like being passed through the fires.... It's progressive, hair by hair increments.

Sometimes you can 'feel' the Beautiful-burn in your soul, and at other times there is a numbness blankness voidy~stuffed feeling. Always know.... that God is always there, whether or not you 'feel' it. Your Soul is being processed, whether you 'feel' it or not. That's what 'faith' is, in a way-- not feeling, but you know only with the info stored in your mind (because you have been educated to its processes).

Reminds me of psychological term called "object-constancy." When a baby doesn't directly-see its mother, it can fall into thinking that the mother has gone and abandoned it. But after a while of 'learning' the trust-factor, the baby begins to develop a kind of faith, where it starts to be able to sustain itself stronger and better between the times of mother-voids.

Thing is? ... Sometimes our Soul can go through very dry dead Void-spaces, and can feel abandoned like the baby who can't see its mom directly in the perceptive field. But that Cosmic Beautiful Mother Energy never ever loses touch or observance from Her perspective, of Her dearly-precious and Beautifully-Valued progeny.

Her Beautiful-Child grows and develops....

Sometimes I think when we stay so isolated from others, we can develop strange complexes in our heads, especially when this coincides with those fated and prescribed Soul Void-drySpaces. Our sense of abandonment can try to make mental-sense by wrapping all kinds of reasons around its demise. It's 'the suffering' that is inherent in living out the walk of a physical Human Life.....

And we need the help of good and loving understanding-filled friends to help us know during those times the secret ending-- that we're all going to make it. With help, and Divine Grace, we're going to brilliantly survive.

Might not 'feel' like that sometimes. In fact, it can really get spooky-scary that you're not going to be able to stand it for one more moment! ..... But you Keep On!!! You Keep On.

Keep on, Ayelet!! Every day, every day. Keep The Mother surrounding you... Smell Her subtle essence, Her Beautiful Gentle fragrances and 'Remember'-- She's there. One more Step. One more moment. One more Day.

Each day that you Live, you have Championed that day in Your Book of Life. It will never be repeated again, never. You get total credit that you survived-- mistakes don't count against the glory of the weight that you stayed-alive. (You get extra-credit for maintaining best-possible attitudes, no matter how teeny-tiny that effort was. You did it! You lived! ... It's YOUR's. YOUR Victory. You Made IT through, .... and You're soooo Beautiful.

(I know these songs sound 'churchy' --,
... AND, I'm so glad you have that talent to distill and extract the spiritual essense of its musical ethers. Wrap in, and absorb that etheric-spirit, and allow that muse to stimulate your saps to run and nutrify you.

Beautiful sap, waters flowing through the core and center of your wonderful Tree of Life.)

posted July 30, 2015 05:31 PM            

Based on my response to that temporary prescription he gave me (just to diagnose, because it's not a safe-drug to take as a remedy), and on the MRI, I get a rare kind of migraine headache, which manifests itself through SOUNDs. I get the visual ones (light-show) and there's no pain~really with that, you just 'wait' about 4 mins to 40 minutes, and you're back.

But my main problem that developed here, now, is from the over-the-top stimulation to my nerves/brain with hardly surcease for me. ~Something 'had to give' eh? There's a threshold that happens, then cascades of (humorously) my brain throbbing-out, all swollen feeling, feeling like I'm sick and underwater... ice-chips in my nerves, etc. When *offending-source* pipes-down or goes away, the reaction settles down and goes away, and I'm FINE.

Doc wants me to try a medication... I would rather MOVE-away and go live in more Peace somewhere! LOL....

There's a medication he wanted to put me on for a month... but O M G!! When I looked up the side-effects??????? Sounds like the height of a raging Neptune-transit-PLUS++++.

Hey~ ! I'm heading towards that Neptune squaring my Sun AGAIN... (Same as on my last birthday). So, 'I don't need no drug-help-- I manifest those 'my-brrrain-is-gone', "lost in FAWWWG, FAWWWWWG", type states just-fine, Allll BY MY SELF' ... dON'T GIMME NO DRUHG, I've got TRRRANSITS!!!! yes indeed-y! ugh

So anyways..... The transiting Nodes are switching to Virgo/Pisces, from the relationship focused Libra/Aries axis.

While North Node is in Virgo, with Jupiter, Mercury, then Venus there, there may be an emphasis on health and wellbeingness.

I am trusting that I'll be able to get my Healing for these headaches.... through 1)MOVING~~, SN (I'd hope); and NN seeking 2) alternative ways to heal, consciousness-related states, mind-body.

I'm already drug-sensitive..., and with Neptune in my 3rd right now, squaring the Sun, 'taking drugs' perhaps would be like throwing my whole life under a bus! No. Not me. Not on any drug that does ~nasty nasty bits of things like this:

•Any vision problems, especially blurred vision, double vision, eye pain, or rapidly decreasing vision
•burning, prickling, or tingling sensations ...o yes, I remember trying-out this drug before!!!

•clumsiness or unsteadiness Ah, can you hold that bus-door a little stiller, perhaps?... I'm trying to climb aboard. Or when de-bussing, winding up in the gutter? ... that is, if they had gutters here, LOL

•confusion ?????wha'

•continuous, uncontrolled back-and-forth (or rolling) eye movements .... {And that's exactly how I need to 'appear' in PUBLIC places?? especially when I'm new and want to impress all my new friends?? 'eeee gyads~!

•dizziness
•drowsiness
•eye redness well, it's almost ragweed season,...

•generalized slowing of mental and physical activity not me! yuk, no way
•increased eye pressure

•memory problems
•nervousness
•speech or language problems
•trouble in concentrating or paying attention
•unusual tiredness or weakness

^ For a Sun and Mercury GEMINI?? ... This is The Gemmy Brain "feels like" on a Neptune long-term transit... Just in case anyone needed to get ready for one?

Got Drug?

OMG, No Way~~~ I wouldn't want to 'chance' these symptoms! I am "alone" and left to fend for myself, by myself. ...

Just 'a thought'... To go on this 'drug' would have me feeling SO STUCK in an environment I've been chugging soooo hard to get out of for the past at-least five years!!!

If that happened?, I'd probably manifest something of the symptoms on the continuing list: (just, sharing the list in a creative way here, hope you've been realizing that?)

So.....

•Abdominal or stomach pain no, thanks
•fever, chills, or sore throat

•lessening of sensations or perception ~What? numb-out "being Alive?" Isn't that what this whole incarnation is about? BEING Alive in as many ways as you can?

•loss of appetite Good one!~~ usually happens with t Saturn H12 just before it hits Asc. I remember outer-planet transits over my Asc long time ago. Twice, I had to declare Ice Cream a Vegetable, and eat plenty of servings. Otherwise?, I have to be careful and sensible about my diet.

•"mood or mental changes," including aggression, agitation, apathy, irritability, and mental depression
...Heck! already irritated by this LIST, okay? *looking* LMAO, j/k.

.... But 'those holidays' are quickly-approaching now, (autumn, thanksgiving, Christmas), where people who do-not-have anyone to be with, have no family surrounding them, can experience some of the sharpest and most-profound sense of LOSS imaginable... so cruel to be left-behind during the holidays, for some. I "celebrate" the Spirit of Christmas... but there's a bittersweet that underlies the whole season... Love Lost, Family Lost, etc.

•weight loss The only "weight" loss I could really really use, is to drop the sense of grief, (besides maybe 5 or 6 pounds), and all the things I've missed-out on in life...

Yeah, it can be a quite a peezsser when you find that you're older, Ayelet.

When someone doesn't have a family there for them, or someone that loves them nearby. When you watch other families who are sooo happy (fighting?, okay sure, but deep-down HAPPY that they ARE a unit and have each other to rely on, no matter what-- That's what having a Base is... a Secure Base.).

You asked about my children?

... I had two of them, two daughters~~ two blessings, yet two individuals who couldn't "stand" the image that their parent couldn't make it on their own. They were/are ashamed. I am in terrible poverty... yep, they be 'material-girls'.
... I was only allowed in their life IF I could write them checks, and buy them gifts.... It hurt me SOOO-terribly badly. I got a 'dear mom' letter for my birthday, year ?~2007, I think. She had me sooo worried! She never missed sending a card, or making a phone call to me on my birthday. Suddenly, OUT OF THE BLUE, 'nothing'... I was stunned to get her rejection-letter, her unexpected bye-bye. Three days went by-- and it was like I was a huge numb piece of meat... not knowing what time it was, or whether I had eaten. I just remember, riding that city bus, just riding, for three days.

The "last" convo I had with her was by phone 'trying' to see if things had changed. ... terrible memory. Shrew. She was stone-cold mean. At least, she had told me my father had died (2008), but about 4 days after he had passed. I had no idea he had even been sick at all. I was VERY fortunate to have had a local friend here, who had a relative there, who went to buy a small bouquet of pink-small roses for me, for his casket. I called the funeral director, and talked to her a while. She understood, and said she would brush those flowers against his cheek for me, as I requested, and it would be-there when the lid on the casket closed....

So. My Daughters ~~ seems to have been part of my lot this lifetime, to have given birth to two actual Beauties (the second one actually placed in a national beauty pageant one year.) They will have to deal with their own "greed" and mama-karma problems 'on their own' distant lifespan times, now. My times with them got ripped... End of cycling there, I hope. I "paid" for it. 'It Is Finished'...

So sad... That sometimes you perhaps get born with a desire for something (like a fine-quality Good marriage, and a nest of children), and it comes to you only to be ripped away... Attachments. Learning to detach (which I haven't done hardly perfectly-- I have a tender heart).

(Oh gosh, tears for that Full Moon Aquarius in another 12 hours. Involves my Chiron, and probably a Generation of us who have shared Chiron tears and losses.)

So anyways.... There's something that goes on inside your mental-processes when you have to adjust to an idea, like growing older-- Becoming, transforming into 'The Elder' and leaving young life. I guess that's another thing to detach from during the Moon. Just really really transitioning...
and it's sorta serious.

I need to 'cast my Cares' for He Cares for me (as scripture says). Perhaps I am not as 'stoic' or 'brave' as maybe you expected?

Truth is, that I feel quite vulnerable....
YET!!, I get inner to outer bursts of incredible-'Strong'....from deep within. I'm growing.

Hope you're doing okay, Ayelet?... Thinking of You {{ hug}}

posted July 31, 2015 11:04 PM            

Thanks Mirage and Randal, for your kind wishes...

Mirage, you are very brave in my eyes. Your daughters should regret, as beside of causing you grief, they are never going to be truly happy in their life if they don't. You have done your best, and are doing your best, and that's what counts. This world is ephemeral, but the good you saw is yours forever... And you do good! Thank you for encouraging me!

I hope you will "see the mother"' as you told me, and never be really lonely... Always see the sun behind those clouds...
Sometimes dreams are shattered. Ignore. Keep on dreaming. Always. Never mind what happens, keep your faith.
I am sure Jesus felt betrayed, unappreciated, unloved, when he was on the cross. What an end to a great teacher and healer. Did he deserve that? It puzzles me, why he had to endure so much suffering. I am not sure it was "to pay for our sins"... Why, why, why? he didn't really wanted to, he was scared. I don't understand why existance has to be so brutal. Is there so much evil in our souls?
But he came back... (I guess he had to go through it to set an example.)

He has been through all this. But he came back. And he hasn't really died. Not really-truly-honest-to-God. NO ONE DOES. Just the fleeting Egos. So never give up dreaming. Will you?

Don't take the drug! Do they make only poisons in the labs these days? See if you can relocate to a nature kind of place. Is there any nature nearby? You wrote you live in a noisy place, so changing the environment may prove healthy for you. I wish a good opportunity will come your way.

As for me, I had a nice birthday..

As for the voices, they influence me and affect my dreams. I had positive voices that helped me during hard times in the past. That is not the case right now. I feel cut off the divine energy because of my nocturnal "action". One goes to sleep to draw strengh, and I wake up exhausted. But perhaps this is a necessary experience for me. I don't know why. It may be destroying something that needs to be destroyed within me. I really don't know. I don't long for the next world anymore, as I don't feel I did well in this life and don't want to face judgment. If I only followed my should-have-been teacher that day, another life were in store for me. Vain regret? Who made the mistake, him, for coming, or me, for not following? I hope I made the mistake, because, then it means I weren't a mistake myself. And this is better for my Ego. Or something like that. Even if it means I am to blame.

Have to quit for now. Wishing you Good-night-Good-day and some very rosy future when you will experience enduring joy!

posted August 01, 2015 06:45 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
You haven't failed. You only fail when you give up.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
Fake it till you make it.

---