Posts: 1409
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted April 13, 2003 02:53 PM         

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In your opinions, how would you define "trying too hard" to get through to someone?
At what point should a person stop being an empathetic caring human being towards someone who, when asked, says "You're not annoying me", but still responds to all thecaring person's communication briefly?
Cause, I seem to be in that confusing predicament right now....and I am having trouble following my head, which tells me to let this all go, when my heart and soul keep reminding me that I am just spreading positive energy by saying nice things to the "someone" in question.

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-K
"Most people love with restraint
As if they were someday to hate
We hated gently, carefully
As if we were someday to love"-Venus Trines at Midnight

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Posts: 3061
From: King Arthur's Camelot
Registered: Jun 2002

posted April 13, 2003 03:09 PM         

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To me, "trying to hard" means you're not being yourself, as much as you're showing.

But I don't fully understand your problem.

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Posts: 1409
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted April 13, 2003 04:31 PM         

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Oh,I guess I wasn't clear enough.
Ok, I keep making comments via e-mail to this one guy that I know (one that I used to like, but have tried to get over cause he didn't acknowledge me when I told him of my affection, and I also found out that he was obsessed with this other girl who was just leading him on)....anyway,I make these positive comments to him,
first, a year ago about a poem he wrote that he put in his AIM profile...we ended up writing back and forth a few times, and I even shared a poem I wrote to him that expressed my expathy for his situation cause I'd recently gone through something similar.
then, last summer, I IMed him a few times and we spoke casually...
and I sent him a very encouraging and sympathetic when he announced he was leaving the music group we both belonged to,expressing my mutual frustration with how it was run.
and in late june, I sent him the very revealing "letter/poem" I posted here...he never responded
then I read the "letter/poem" aloud at our school's latte lounge, realizing he was there after I had finished reciting it.
then I wrote him a blunt note that said I had liked him, just to clear up any confusion..and he never responded
and then, on friday, I wrote him and complimented him on the cool quote in his AIM profile, and asked if I was annoying himby writing..he wrote back and said no I wasn't,we talked about the pessimistic nature of the songquote in his profile, and when I wrote saying I had downloaded the song and really enjoyed it...then he wrote back and said thanks for the compliments...
So that's where things stand...are you confused yet? LOL...
So what I was asking is am I being too agressive, and trying to hard to connect with him? I feel have this intense connection somehow that we are both in some way denying the existence of, but maybe I'm imainging things....

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-K
"Most people love with restraint
As if they were someday to hate
We hated gently, carefully
As if we were someday to love"-Venus Trines at Midnight

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posted April 13, 2003 10:49 PM           

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Hey Virgo Aries I think the fact that you have told him you like him was very brave indeed, good on you!! The ball is in his court now. He knows how you feel and hasn't made a move so I would just step back and not pursue it romanticaly and just concentrate on the friendship.

Don't act too keen. In my experience when you back off from a guy when he thinks you're keen on him then it usually makes him get his act together.

Just a thought anyway Good luck!

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Posts: 1409
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted April 13, 2003 11:40 PM         

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Thanks so much for the support, RRR!
That is very sound advice, since I am trying to stay in touch, without throwing myself at him...
And he's a Taurean sun with Gemini rising and Pisces moon, so who knows whatis really going on in his head. I think he may be just starting to heal a lot of his past "wounds", and the transits in his chart substantiate my theory.
As for being too keen, I am attempting to refrain from answering his e-mails the moment I recieve them, but this is probably a fruitless gesture since I initiate these contacts in the first place...
Appreciate the good luck wishes.

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-K
"Most people love with restraint
As if they were someday to hate
We hated gently, carefully
As if we were someday to love"-Venus Trines at Midnight

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Posts: 25287
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted April 13, 2003 11:58 PM         

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He's probably just afraid of getting hurt. At least he is responding now, so things look promising.

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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Posts: 1409
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted April 15, 2003 09:07 AM         

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Yes, Randall, I think you're right.
And things are definitely looking very(!) up at the moment cause in his last e-mail reply, he was actually casual, friendly, courteous, and just plain nice. He seemed to regard me as a fellow non-threatening human being who only wanted to connect on a positive basis..which is what I've been trying to let him know for 14 months....

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-K
"Most people love with restraint
As if they were someday to hate
We hated gently, carefully
As if we were someday to love"-Venus Trines at Midnight

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