posted August 31, 2003 06:36 PM           

Perhaps it's because i've finally reached the logical conclusion of where this train of thought has lead me.

First... let me try and outline my feelings.

I feel a profound level of.. disappointment in my fellow human beings. The reason is simply that they are either too scared and unsure of themselves, or that they simply do not posess the resources to start with to care as much as I do.

What brought this train of thought on?

I just decided to sit down, because i have a cold currently, and watch "Solaris" - the remake. I'm aware the film did not do too well at release.. because.. why?

It was too "weird" ?
too "deep" ?

I'm starting to discover its' simply because most individuals are so sorely lacking in the depth of character being so preoccupied with the old adage of "living a life" that they just don't develop enough to appreciate such peices of cinematography.

The film is what one would term an "intelligent psychological thriller" and is in fact a very emotional study of resurrection.. being able to have back what you lost.

Evidently it passed right over most peoples' heads. Why?

Can it be we are so conditioned not to care anymore that we should view each other as peices of meat, and use each others' bodies for our own gratification?

Since i've put it this way i'm sure reading the above sentance many of you felt a twinge of disgust. I certainly do.

It has recently come to my attention more and more..that the error rate for my communications are exceptionally high. Even when i explain myself concisely and logically many individuals can barely grasp most of the concepts i put forward daily.

While i wish to avoid "putting myself on a pedestal" it is starting to become apparent that being scared of the spotlight is standing in the way of my evolution and perhaps it is time for me to acknowlege that i am, in fact, better than many people alive today.

And only in a world that was obsessed with valuing priceless things would this be any cause for anyone to become piqued at my blog of self-gratification.

In equal measure i find my fellow humans violent, shallow, hypocritical and fickle. The worthlessness i place on my own life can be interpreted as the sum total of all the feelings i come into contact daily.

Be under no illusion - the balance adds up negative and to fail to acknowledge this fact is unhealthy in the extreme within the context of the wider scheme of things.

This brings me to why i'm even writing this.

The decision seems to be a stark one -

we can choose to ignore this increasing imbalance in ourselves and each other, relying on a diabolical combination of prescription/recreational drugs, entertainment and support services to fool ourselves that we are, in fact, coping while surpressing the hard facts that we live in a culture where the suicide rate is forever climbing.

OR

We can begin to acknowledge our faults, stop trying to convince ourselves we are clean, perfect specimens of an ideal that bears a frightening discrepancy to the reality of our lives, and start to evolve in a direction that is meaningful.

Lastly, what did i hope this would accomplish?

Absolutely nothing. If i expected this to accomplish anything, i wouldn't even be writing it.

*********

I guess since i posted anyway. As i stated im not sure what to accomplish by this and it wasn't really brought on by any one trigger.. its just kindof a snapshot of whats going on right now.

posted August 31, 2003 11:55 PM         

I think I understand what you're saying. Whenever I go to a shopping center I can't help but feel a little disgusted by the sight of my stupid, complacent fellow Americans, so caught up in their bourgeious materialism. They seem to be looking forever right in front of them, never rasing their eyes to see the rest of the world. Unfortunately, I don't think that it's a new attitude. Humans have always been most concerned with bringing home the bacon; everything else takes a lower place. That's why philosophers have been so highly esteemed- they see beyond the day-to-day world, off toward the golden sunrise of humanity's bhoom, bhoom, bhoom....

So Wevil, are you putting yourself up for deification because of your visionary abilities? [kidding]

Write a book or something. Compose a groundbreaking symphony. Then everyone will see your genius, and you'll be reassured that some people still have the ability to recognize profundity.

posted September 01, 2003 12:42 AM           

Y'know...no later than 150 years after your death. Give or take a few.

posted September 01, 2003 03:36 AM         

wEvil!

Good on you. Don't you edit a single word. You do have a large part of the truth, and some of it is ugly. Keep in mind the precepts of reincarnation, and theories of decline and fall. People born and raised in consumeristic sitcom culture may not know how to contribute purposefully to their own lives or others'. Do diss the culture, the traits, the values, but not the people (although we are all more or less responsible for our own respective declines).

I recall deeply upsetting a junior high English teacher when she assigned us an essay on "Careers". I thought for a time, then remarked to her that it seemed as if every job was yet another cog in the machinery of keeping human society consuming goods, and too busy to protest against the government. She had a loud fit at how "horrible" a thought I was having (I believe she'd been fearing the same thing).

A friend of mine recently found more reason to be angry at the state of the world, and especially the government. So he started a tutoring business that teaches critical thinking skills. He just laughs and says it's his way of destroying the government.

I saw both versions of Solaris this year. Both moved me, albeit differently. Most films that move me are not mainstream.

posted September 01, 2003 05:43 AM           

Anyway..

As for composing groundbreaking symphonies.. i'm working on it

...i don't quite have the concepts together for a book but a peice of film at some point would possible me more flexible as when people watch visual scenes the critical part of their brain just seems to go into bypass!

Either way...This christmas I wish for:

A fundamental paradigm shift in the way every human being on the planet views their existance.

posted September 01, 2003 09:10 AM         

For what it's worth...I enjoy your posts and find them refreshing. There are those who will understand, and those who will not; possibly because they are not ready. Which is the majority is less important than knowing that your way of communicating inspires THINKING, and yes sometimes on a profound level. Keep it up...and celebrate your uniqueness!

posted September 01, 2003 11:37 AM         

Deep thoughts...well, these are what separate the philosophers from everyone else. Some philosophers are run out of their villages, some are revered through time. Philosophers search for truth, there may be one truth, there may be many. "The only thing we require to be good philosophers is the faculty of wonder." The first philosopher on record thought the force of all things was water...later philosophers had other thoughts on the matter. But they asked of themselves questions like, How can I 'see' a flower? What happens when I do? If only nothing can come from nothing, how did life begin? Who/what created God, and why did God bother to create us? OK, I'm leading somewhere with this...

May I quote from a book for you, a passage you might find to be something to which you can relate?

"Basically there are not many philosophical questions to ask...It is like watching a magic trick. We cannot understand how it is done. So we ask: how can the magician change a couple of white silk scarves into a live rabbit? A lot of people experience the world with the same incredulity as when the magician suddenly pulls a rabbit out of a hat which has just been shown to them empty.

In the case of the rabbit, we know the magician has tricked us. What we would like to know is just how he did it. But when it comes to the world it is somewhat different. we know that the world is not all sleight of hand and deception because we are here in it, we are part of it. Actually, we are the white rabbit being pulled out of the hat. The only difference between us and the rabbit is that the rabbit does not realize it is taking part in a magic trick. Unlike us. We feel we are part of something mysterious and we would like to know how it works.
As far as the white rabbit is concerned, it might be better to compare it with the whole universe. We who live here are microscopic insects existing deep down in the rabbit's fur. But philosophers are always trying to climb up the fine hairs of the fur in order to stare right into the magician's eyes."

End of quote. Hope that wasn't too long.

You are the type to look around, ask questions, ponder life, don't lose your sense of wonder, it may hold many gifts for the rest of us.

I hope you don't become bitter, you are too interesting for that. There are paradigm shifts all the time! Little ones, big ones. Nature is in a constant state of flux, some of us see it, some of us don't. So be it. Those who don't are merely characters in my drama.

I love edgy inde films, they're always my first choice, love things like David Lynch films, am a big fan of things like "Memento," I too sometimes feel disenfranchised from my fellow beings...but, alas, sorry to say, I was bored by "Solaris."

posted September 01, 2003 03:06 PM         

i have already spoken to you about your 'rant', and told you i agree 100%. i have thought these same things for some time. im sorry i had to go, cause i would have liked to discuss it more with you, but ill be back around more once the week starts and james goes back to the states.

just dont forget ive been sittin here nodding in agreement

ps lunar- i love that song

pps lioneye- thats sort of part of the reason i dont have much to do with people irl. makes for a lonely existance, but theres so few people that understand me anyway that its best that way.

------------------
where i end and you begin there's a gap in between there's a gap where we meet where i end and you begin
and i'm sorry for us the dinosaurs roam the earth the sky turns green where i end and you begin

posted September 01, 2003 10:44 PM         

Best wishes to you.