posted September 25, 2003 01:36 PM         

I feel so sorry for your friends, some of whom were inexperienced and most likely a bit naive. It's sad. And as your friends can testify, condoms don't always offer enough protection. I dated a guy a year ago who was surprised (!) when I insisted on condoms. His reaction: "I've never had a sexual disease in my life!" I said yeah, neither have I, and I want it to stay that way.

If lovers are not upfront about STDs, then to me that's pretty nasty. That is a wrongness, to me. And if people are caught up in the moment and just not careful, that's so unfortunate.

StarLover, yes, I agree those women have a masochistic streak, for whatever reasons.

Lost Leo...bless you. Not all men value independent women, ya know!

Geez, I just can't get over how many of your friends have STDs, RRR, it's really a mind-blower, and a reminder to be very careful. And if you're lucky enough to be in a solid relationship, awesome.

posted September 30, 2003 09:18 AM         

I have been married for 17 years (Sept.27) I have learned several things.
First- We all evolve ( I like that word better than change) We're still US just a more experienced US. Our veiws, or thinking, our way of handling things all evolve.

B. I have learned that in order for me to have a happy, healthy RELATIONSHIP with my husband-I work on ME! and me alone. Working on HIM doesn't work, will never work. "Working" doesn't mean not sharing, or just plain telling him he's wrong or needs to change a particular habit or whatever, it means that I share that and then let HIM fix or change or deal with it.
His problem. Not mine.

Don't get me wrong I completely believe in be "One" in the marriage/relationship but If you marry someone with a "I can help" (which usually means "Change") you've married for the wrong reasons.

Someone mentioned Soul mate... I believe in a soul mate. But I think we put a lot of....something into the passion we may feel for someone that we may not feel for the one we're with at the moment.
People are going to grab our attention all the time, some will grab it a lot stronger than others... does this mean we've made a mistake with the one we are with now? I don't think so.
We choose daily to be committed to someone else.
I choose to not go to lunch with a man that has "Grabbed" me in that way! (Why would I?) I choose to not email or call people that have told me they have thought about me....(Why would I?)

This is where it's most difficult for some.
Your fighting with your mate and someone calls and you two talk and so-on, then you two meet for that innocent lunch, then you call some more and then your smooching and then your.......
This is a choice that will lead you to hurt your mate and yourself.
You can not love one without hating the other (hate is a very strong word but you get my point) Before long your justifying your every action, good or bad, and for what?

And my Saturn is in my first house, trine my Sun and Mercury and I know that makes a difference!