posted September 30, 2003 01:08 AM           

I just hope my fellow knowflakes believe that of me.

I have strived so hard to make Lexigram Magic a fun and positive forum and I dearly hope that just one of my Lexi's helped someone. Anyone. That would make me feel it was all worth it.

All my love to Randall and Lindaland and keep the positive vibe going folks. Make Linda proud.

Please say a prayer for me to wipe away these tears. I Love you all and I wish all of you Love, Light and Happiness. I hope some of you will email me from time to time to let me know how you are all going.

Best of luck and NAMASTE!!

------------------
~~Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves~~

posted September 30, 2003 01:36 AM         

I am attacking no one and am taking no sides, if any are remaining. All I am feeling is sadness for the way things are ending and disgust with the affair in general. Now that we've had enough grief, I hope we can put this behind us and move forward.

posted September 30, 2003 02:00 AM         

It was a tough decision to have to make, but I felt that her loyalty to Andy might create a conflict of interest in the Moderator's Forum (where we will need to discuss how to deal with the Andy issue). She has my total admiration and appreciation for all she has contributed to Lindaland, and it is my hope that she will return as Moderator once this situation has blown over (which I had already relayed to her via e-mail).

posted September 30, 2003 03:35 AM         

You alone already helped people by just being present. I am not sucking up, I mean this from the bottom of my heart!
You are a very dear person and you know it! Don't let anything get you down! You are beautiful just like everybody else!!!!

I don't have a real opinion about this, I did however say something in the other thread. There is just too many sides to a story. All I want is to see love for everyone regardless. It will be ok!

Randall to you too! I know it is tough for you too! So a to you dear one!

Be well and please don't leave us Ruby!!!! You are a strong, very strong woman and light of fire in this community! We need that!

posted September 30, 2003 09:13 AM         

you know, this is only the internet. i think this is way out of proportion, to take rubys modship away. i thought america was a free country? this is very very sad, when simply having a friend who isnt on an approval list means you get ostracised and stripped of a position which is voluntary and valuable to the community.

for the record, because i dont like behind the scenes stuff, i dont feel very good about a private moderator forum. if you cant deal with things openly and honestly what do you have? secrets that fester, and illusions and lies. is that love and light? anyway, its always seemed kind of big brotherish to me, that forum. thats just my personal opinion. not meant to cause any trouble etc etc. just how i feel. i felt that from the day i came here, but i read the description that said 'where moderators go to help make LL a better place'. i thought, ok well, benefit of the doubt, perhaps they talk about things like making new forums and mundane things like that. seems that its a place to talk behind knowflakes backs. i just have to wonder how many words were spoken about me, but then i could just be thinking im a bit more significant than i actually am. in any event, im just really uncomfortable with private mod forums. ive run large forums in my time and private mod forums have never turned out to be good things to have. it creates an aura of mistrust and paranoia in a community. i feel that email is good enough if someone wishes to talk privately, its good enough for everyone else. kinda funny how mods have a private forum but we arent even allowed to have our email addresses in our profiles. seems rather arbitrary and elitist to me. wheres the freedom and the openness? doesnt feel much like lindas spirit is here anymore. i notice now theres a new 'policy' that we are not allowed to post our emails, as andys was edited from his post with a notice saying as much. so, we can gather here and talk about things that dont ruffle your feathers, but not allowed to pursue friendships off the board? this honestly feels like 1984. as in the novel. we cant all be who you want us to be randall, and i really hope you will rethink a few of your decisions because honestly, even though i respect and admire you i have to tell you that theres something really distasteful about this business. censorship and oppressive techiques are never ones that make fruitful communities. take a look at history, you will see.

as long as things are out in the open, i will be more open myself. i couldnt explain before because it would mean breaking peoples confidences, which i generally wont do unless given permission. it was agony to not be upfront about my feelings but i honour promises to friends. now its ok cause its all out there.

the reason i barely post anymore has a lot to do with this whole mess. i am offboard friends with andy and honestly, (i say this with sarcasm) big deal. im a supportive friend, but i have never started anything with oxy on the board, thats not my style (although i did 'finish' that one issue where she insulted me... and from what ive been told by many people, i was well justified to have the reaction that i had). libras really dont like conflict although if they must in the sake of fairness, they will... but regardless... i really dont care to bring to the board things that are private between two people. i never said anything about this situation of andy and oxy on the board, its not the place.

after the last kurfuffle where i was poked at, i just had to distance myself. i just really cant stand message board politics, ive had very unpleasant experiences with it before, and i just had to go away from this one. i got involved in a manner of speaking through my friendship with andy and even though i dont regret the friendship, i do regret bothering with this stuff. in my most honest and unbiased opinion they *both* share responsibility for the on board tension and atmosphere. i wont go into detail of my opinion, its not important. but i do feel they BOTH have to bear the responsibility for certain things. and thats completely objectively.

also for the record, i am not one of andys 'crew', posse, whatever. i havent spoken to him in a couple of weeks or so. ive been busy with real life and other things, and i just needed to distance myself from the situation. i am not afraid to, and indeed have, told andy certain things that i feel he is doing that are not positive things. im an honest friend. i am also not a groupie type of person. i dont subscribe to 'mob' mentality types of situations, if a friend of mine is wrong, and i think they are, i will tell them. i dont pander to them, im a bit more independant than that. so, i just wanted it clear that im not siding with anyone, this is what *I* as in *me myself and i* think about the situation.

i have not spoken to andy in awhile or really had any dealings with him or anyone on the board because i want to distance myself from the situation... it has upset me greatly and made a place that i loved to be into somewhere where i feel bad being. what moves me to speak today though is this.

i just really think that to take away rubys position is very misguided. this reminds me very much of the gestapo or thought police. its just mean.

what threat is ruby? is she mata hari now? after all her service to this community... for the mere sake that she made a friend in someone and spoke her mind in a private forum no less? what threat is she to anyone? its not like she is telling andy state secrets or the code to a nuclear missile device or something. please give her more credit than that.

i just really hope that people can see how unfair it is to her, she has done SO MUCH for so many people here! i just cant even think about how many lexis she has done for so many people. she is true to her word, and really, what breach of trust did she break? she spoke her mind, put her feelings out in the open. thats much more trustworthy than keeping them secret and making asides to people.

anyway, with the paranoid atmosphere here i bet im next on the ban list, and i could lie and flippantly say i dont care, but to be honest, i would. i do enjoy the discussions with the many beautiful people here. i made some freinds, and that really is special to me. even though this is sooooooooooooo the last i will ever say about this, and were it not for the fact of ruby who is very innocent of any wrongdoing in my mind... i wouldnt have said a thing, but i did and i bet im next on the ban list. it just sticks in my craw though. this whole situation was not dealt with very well imho. the locked thread, first of all... that was baiting and rather petty. coulda banned andy off board and sent him an email to explain why, oh heck there were many ways this could have been dealt with better. thats not my concern anymore. its finished, for me. i am soooo not getting involved in anything that goes on, politics wise. all i ever wanted to do was talk with people about things that interest me, namely astrology, and linda. isnt she why we are all here?

anyway, i would like to have the ability to post occasionally, even though i dont very often anymore, sometimes there are things i like to say. some of the people here are just precious, theres no other word for them and it will hurt me to not be able to tell them so. specially now that this issue is come to a head and been dealt with in a fashion. its not a monkey on my back anymore. i was a bit of a innocent victim in all this too you know. like ruby. oh well, learned a lesson i suppose. so, i would very much like my comments to be respected and not feared, all they are is my opinion, whats so scary about that. ive said im finished with this politic business, id like to carry on and just do the things i can do for people, but if you must ban me, then i spose this is an enforced goodbye. rather different from my previous self imposed exile. i had free will in that matter.

anyway, i wish the best for everyone. please though, try to realize that by pushing things under the rug and pretending they dont exist, they just get worse. i really hope that people can see the logic in that. but im not here for a morality lesson.

if i can come back, i just might from time to time. if not, i love so many of you and hope that you all have happy fulfilling lives full of your hearts desires. andy, if you are reading this, i hope you are well and im sure we will talk again at some point, but im still a little bruised by this experience, and so im not quite ready. ruby, you are A JEWEL, i said it before and i say it again because it is true. im sure you know how to contact me so if you ever wish to in the future, feel free. if anyone is wondering if i want her to contact me so we can gossip and b*tch and complain, relax. i really have no wish for that. i would just like to keep in contact with a very wonderful woman who has given me so much. its as simple as that, its naught to do with taking sides etc.

i would name everyone that i have admired and enjoyed spending time with here but i am tired and this is long enough... so ill just say keep being the wonderful people you are, and if you ever wanna drop me a line, feel free. im always happy to hear from you all.

ill miss you all if i dont come back

posted September 30, 2003 10:21 AM           

Ruby's state doesn't seem kosher if her friendship with Andy and the comments that she made in private regarding this situation are the only bases.
I think that Oxy's a great person, and I hope that she knows that and that I have nothing personally against her, but if RRR's moderatorship was temporarily revoked soley due to her closeness to the situation, by rights hers should be as well.

And, I know that the emotional & mental welfare of a person cannot be involuntarily thrust upon another (or others), so I'm not airing this to insinuate such -
but Andy has just recently begun treatment and medication for depression (Dubya, I'm sorely sorry for putting this out in the open, but I feel that I must).
To ban him for bringing down the "vibe" of LindaLand seems incredibly uncompassionate.
I'm not saying in the least that any of the moderators here are uncompassionate *people*, simply that this action seems so.
I, and I know a few others, saw nothing wrong with his last post - it may have been slightly confrontational, but that doesn't deviate from the norm of many posters here. He seems as dumbfounded as us as to exactly why he was thrown off at this point in time; granted, he may be just "playing dumb", but as his friend I doubt that (granting, again, that I am biased). We deserve to know precisely what got him banned.

posted September 30, 2003 07:50 PM         

This is a very sad day for me. Due to a variety of circumstances, I have been away from LindaLand for awhile. I was so happy to return, but I am horrified to learn that it is no longer a safe haven for ALL.

I am absolutely appalled that a private issue has blown up into public humiliation for two of LL's brightest Lights! And even more stunned to realise that speaking out against this injustice might earn me the same punishment! I've bitten my tongue on many issues here, but this is 'home and family'. I have to speak up.

My first question is how this 'situation' between Oxychick and N_wEvil could be such a threat to LindaLand, when most of the Knowflakes were unaware that there was a 'situation'?

There has been much talk of being 'open and honest'. Yet wEvil has been banned for being open and honest about his feelings. Ruby has been deprived of her Moderator status for being open and honest about her feelings. Many others (myS-elf, included) are worried about being banned for being open and honest about their feelings. Exactly, who is allowed to be open and honest?

Randall, you say that Ruby cannot be trusted to be objective because of her friendship with Andy. Yet, you expect us to believe that Oxychick's status as a major player in this drama does NOT affect HER objectivity? PLEASE! That is an insult to our intelligence! Oxy may be a great Moderator, but she's not super-human!

So, Oxy and wEvil did not handle this problem in the most mature manner? Some 'snipes' made it into LindaLand? And...? A quick search will turn up posts that were absolutely vicious personal attacks on fellow Knowflakes and yet many of the parties involved are still posting here! Why is this different? Because Oxychick is your friend? Ruby is Andy's friend and she's paying dearly for it. She is expected to put her personal feelings aside for LL. As webmaster, shouldn't you be held to the same high standard? Where is your objectivity?

The thread that brought this mess up was addressed "To Dubya and Crew". I'm not sure who constitutes the 'crew', but a couple of things bother me about that title. Most disturbing, is the idea that there is some kind of list dividing us into this or that 'crew'. I was under the impression that we were all about unity and acceptance, not division. How can we post freely and worry about being in the 'right crew' at the same time? What is the 'right crew'?
The other thing is that wEvil was referred to as Dubya or Andy, as if he were a friend. Then he was treated in a most UN-friendly manner. A friend would have offered to help solve the problem, not enflame it. Minor issues? Maybe, but still bothersome.

Randall, I mean no disrespect, but you are human. Humans make mistakes. Yes! It is your job to protect LindaLand. It is also your responsibility to set an example. Are public denigration, threats of banishment and actual banishment of those you don't agree with, truly an example of what you want LL to be? If so, I'm ashamed for you! Intended or not, you've sent a very clear message that, if we are not 'approved' of by the 'proper' people, then we are not welcome here. It is breaking my heart to kNOW that the Love and Light here are only given freely to those with the 'right' friends.

ALLY, ANDY I hope you guys kNOW how much I admire you!

Knowflakes - I love all of you and this place. I'm sorry if I've offended any of you. Sometimes, we have to stand up for what's right, no matter how it may hurt.

posted September 30, 2003 08:39 PM         

BUT AGAIN I do not know the whole situation or even half; hell I did not even know what was going on until today. I also think that RubyRed is Not the most partial party involved so if she is being sent on hiatus for her non-impartiality then there are others that should also take a break...that is only fair and right.

Honestly and Truly:Why is RubyRed getting yanked for sympathizing with someone and caring about someone and making it known? Even though I do not know exactly what was said so...but still, I don't see how anything, short of "I will bring down anyone who does not sympathize and agree with N_w!" would merit such a thing and be the sole factor in losing (I think)hard earned trust. I Truly don't understand.
And I saw where it was posted that the hiatus was not punitive, but still.

posted October 01, 2003 01:03 AM           

I'm feeling quite good right now and happy with my decision to leave.

Yes Randall, I know you said I could come back. However, you can't honestly think you can take away the Aries princess crown and tell her she can have it back when you decide..

No hard feelings mate but I feel your actions were more like a nice way of giving me a swift kick up the butt and saying 'on your bike'.

On the other hand guy, I am not totally innocent. Thinking back to the posts I made in the mod forum, they were reining supreme Aries passion and fire. If Randall ever wants a good example of an Aries fighting for her cause he could use that!!! I even went so far as to point out to Randall where he was contradicting his own disclaimer!!

Really guys, I am an I only lose my temper at certain times LOL. To the mods who witnessed my outbursts (although I wasn't offensive I don't think, just honest and confronting) SORRY. I didn't mean for any of you special guys to witness my little outbursts. Upon reflection I probably should have restricted it to email. Anyway, your all toughies, I'm sure you'll get over it.

Like me!! Totally over it!!! I have been here, I have loved and I have lost. However, I will heal and I will move onwards and upwards!!

Now in the tradition of Anafaery, I shall keep this post going some more (go out in style).

QOS - you are an intelligent, bright beacon of light and I wish you all the best of luck with your future. I am glad you understand.

Sylven - Good luck to you and Gem If you ever want to chat or anything, feel free to email me - I like your style.

Proxi - I have always admired and looked up to you. Your energy is vibrant and alive and I have always loved you honesty and openness. I was wrapped to learn you had met your soul mate and Jason is a totally awesome guy. We know the angels are at work when two special people like you meet.

Annie - thanks for the support!! Keep spiralling on Tesla; you never know what you might discover!!

Anafaery - What can I say? You are one in a million girl. Honest, and willing to say what you think. I admire that. Good on you and I'll see you on your forum!

Jason - You are so perceptive and hit the nail on the head more often than not. Look after that special girl and bubs

Morgana - Thank-you dearly for your kind words. They make me feel so much better.

Bissie - Thank-you!! We didn't get to know each other very well but the respect is mutual. I love to read your astrology posts, I'm sure I will browse from time to time here and on Greg's site.

Silverbells - Thanks!! Thank you for your kind words and support I agree whole-heartedly with what you say.

Loony Fish - Good to see you back!! I have missed you Your Lexi's are outstanding I really enjoyed them and appreciated the support.

Pixelpixie - I like your honesty and humour. Good on you.

Ok all, this is my last post. It is not goodbye coz you all have my email address and I will personally answer every email I get!!!!

------------------
~~Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves~~

posted October 01, 2003 01:35 AM         

Cheers to andy and Ruby Red for sticking to Their Colts and going down guns a blazing! keep fighting the good fight and know that we are with you always.

actually the part fo this that entertains me and makes me laugh is the lack of evidence supplied when asked, i'm a republican, and i hate to say it but..... so.. where are thsoe weapons of mass destruction you were talking about? please show us the WMD?

Last time i checked everyone here in this great country of ours according to the consititution i believe, been a while sinc ei read it but i am sure there is soem sort of provision in there stating that a person has a right to face his accusers.

nother point. it takes two to tango, and it dont matter who started it. andy could have started it and oxy could have ended it and oxy could have started it and andy coudl have ended it, but last time i checked, in school , both students get disciplined. gah.. i'm tired. i have a bunch of crap to do here at the house before i can be with my baby. i wnatto get it done... i'm done ranting. randall you are sooo wrong thats all i have to say. g'night

posted October 01, 2003 03:11 AM         

As far as Andy goes, I have no animosity towards him. I felt a little anger at first. Hey, I'm only human. Who among us wouldn't want to protect his/her little sister if attacked? But I think it's great that he has such loyal friends. It is my hope that they can help him come to terms with his pain and to eventually heal. Getting away from this site is probably a good part of that process. Those looking for reasons to declare censorship or other such notions will find what they are looking for. But anyone who looks in his/her Heart knows that (as tough as it was for me) I did what needed to be done. I'm sorry Ruby got caught in the middle. I love her, and I send her all my best. Actually, believe it or not, I also sent Andy White Light today. I know on a higher level that he and I have resolved this, and in the near future he will become whole again, and then we will talk.

posted October 01, 2003 04:00 AM         

That being said, I hope we can soon move forward into what we are all (hopefully) here for--which is to honor the life, Love, and ideals of Linda Goodman!