posted December 17, 2003 03:49 PM         

Oh my gosh!

I have a question for anyone who wants to answer it.

If you were not related to your mother at all, and you just happened to sit next to her on a bench in the park, would you really have anything to say to her besides how nice the weather was or something like that?

For me, I would never be friends with my Mom if we weren't related to each other.

I am obviously not one of those girls who has that "my mom is my best friend" kind of feeling.

Am I alone out here, or does anybody else get what I am saying right now?

I love my mother very much, please don't get me wrong about that but...

she is NOT good for my well being when she is around, and I don't enjoy her company very much these days.

And she makes me feel guilty for even writing about her in my own journal too.

I think it's because she is a Virgo Moon and she feels that she is being criticized behind her own back if I write my own personal feelings about her and our relationship down in a journal.

I am a Pisces Moon, of course, as you know, and this Opposition between our Moons just blows my mind most days.

She says, "You are so opposite from me."

It's like, "no duh, there's a very good reason for that," lol.

She knows more about astrology now because of me, but it hasn't really helped us to get along that much better lately though.

Sorry, I just had to vent here for awhile.

But, anyways, does anyone else have anything to say about this?

What happens to you when you find it impossible to get along with your own mother on a daily basis, even though you may love her very, very much nonetheless?

I'd love to hear all about it if you have anything at all to add out there, lol.

THANKS SO MUCH for reading and/or responding!

posted December 17, 2003 03:59 PM         

I would say that when I was growing up, I really loved my mom (still do), but I wasn't as close to her when my little bro came along. He was always sick - so mom and I grew apart.

She is a Cancer with a Cancer moon, I a Sag with an Aries moon. We are so very different and like your mom, she would say the same things about me being the opposite of her.

Now that I am in my 30's, I understand her so much more. I know that she would be a dear friend to me, if she wasn't my mom. Maybe it was the death of my grandma or maybe it's just natural with age. In any case, my mom and I now have a more open friendship and relationship.

posted December 17, 2003 04:12 PM         

Yes PPF, my mother, who I loved dearly, was never a best friend. She was Taurus and I always felt she was criticizing me. Actually she was! I was an odd duck, Aqua sun, Cappy rising and that darn Virgo moon. We were polars apart. We held together as blood but moved in different worlds. It was only after my 30`s did I appreciate the wonderful woman she was. Thankfully, we had some wonderful years as friends. She passed over 2 years ago and left an empty hole . All-in-all, nope, not best friends but as mother and daughter, God/dess knew what s/he was doing in giving us to each other

juniperb

posted December 17, 2003 04:16 PM         

I am very sorry to hear about your troubles though, PPFishMoon. You know what they say, you can pick your friends but not your family.

posted December 17, 2003 05:52 PM         

I am very understanding about why she is the way she is. She is so perfectionistic, and IMO, she is very martyr like. Very guilt ridden.

And I guess it just seems to have the effect of making me think that I am not good enough myself too or something.

Like, I guess I end up feeling that like just because she has those standards for herself, then that means that I am supposed to adopt them for my life too, and if I choose not to do all of that, then I am not being as conscientious as she is being herself, I guess.

And that idea of not having my mother's approval about the standards I have still annoys me more than it probably should.

She is also very focused on her children, very invested in having them around her IMO, and it's just hard to feel like you can really be your own person and still be OK when you are around her sometimes.

But, the thing that irks me so much is that because she never seemed to allow herself to have less than favorable opinions about her own mother, that it means that we shouldn't really have any about her either.

Ironically, she says that I am too critical of her, and that I should mention her more positive aspects more often.

I suppose that could be very true, and I do realize all that she has gone through in order to raise us herself, since my father died before I was born, but I am still just not very good with having a lot of day to day contact with her nonetheless though.

But I really, really do love her very much though, I swear.

I do recognize that she has been through SO MUCH in her life, and that she has withstood so much, but I still see the other things about her which aren't so incredible too though, and I just don't think that she likes it that much when my Mars In Sag brings them up to her if I get too ticked off about them, lol.

You know, one of the best examples that I can give of our relationship is the one from "Gilmore Girls" between Lorelei and her mother, lol.

That is what I am talking about, since I feel that those two women really love each other, but they also have to handle having very different styles, especially in their communication, and they also have to deal with having very different goals in life etc...

That's my mom and me in a nutshell right there, lol!

Well, thanks for all of the input!

If anyone else wants to add anything, I'll keep reading it, lol.