Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted December 31, 2003 01:23 AM         

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Recently, about a week before Christmas, a friend of mine from the past had her 13 year old son involved in a very serious car crash in which 4 of the 6 teens in the car died at the scene. Her boy, Gavin is one of the two kids to survive it, but he's very critically injured. He suffered severe head injuries and has already undergone 2 or 3 surgeries. The other day, his lungs failed, so he's breathing with a resporator. He hasn't regained consciousness since the accident.
Please muster up a gust of sincere prayer for him, and see if we can't help him pull through this, for his poor Cancer mother's sake just as much as his own.

Thanks, guys.

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Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted December 31, 2003 01:29 AM         

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Oh my..... These situations are horrific. My sympathy and extreme compassion for her son and herself.

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Posts: 5927
From: The Little River Indian Reservation
Registered: Jan 2002

posted December 31, 2003 02:07 AM         

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Add my prayers and white light too....this is sooo very sad....

Love,
Rainbow

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Posts: 624
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2003

posted December 31, 2003 07:19 AM         

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Heartfelt prayers sent for Gavin's full recovery and his family's strength to help him through. PLEASE, keep us posted.

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Posts: 4992
From:
Registered: Feb 2002

posted December 31, 2003 09:11 AM         

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Posts: 2626
From: neither here nor there
Registered: Jul 2002

posted December 31, 2003 09:38 AM         

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Posts: 25287
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted December 31, 2003 01:52 PM         

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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Posts: 6830
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Mar 2002

posted December 31, 2003 01:56 PM         

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May the S embrace the families. White lite ,love and prayers sent.

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If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~James Herriot

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Posts: 2255
From: land of the midnight sun
Registered: Dec 2002

posted December 31, 2003 03:43 PM         

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May Gavin be testament to the extraordinary resilience and healing capacity of the human mind, body and soul.

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Posts: 4050
From: The Boundless
Registered: Mar 2003

posted December 31, 2003 07:14 PM         

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Please keep us posted on Gavin's progress.

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Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted December 31, 2003 09:20 PM         

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thanks everyone.

They took him off of the respirator yesterday because he seemed to be making progress with his breathing, but his lungs couldn't handle it so they put him back on it. He still hasn't regained consciousness.

His mom is actually doing adequately, considering. Keep sending prayers for him, please. I'd love to see a miracle.

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Posts: 3061
From: King Arthur's Camelot
Registered: Jun 2002

posted January 02, 2004 09:09 AM         

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posted January 03, 2004 05:31 PM           

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I'll pray for him.

How go things now?

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Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted January 03, 2004 09:53 PM         

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Haven't talked to her yet. So hard thinking of things to say. I've actually been getting updates from a mutual friend. Such a coward I am. It's just too sad

I'm planning on calling her at the hospital on Monday, when I go back to work...if I can think of anything useful to say that is. Any suggestions? How do you address the subject of someone quite possibly losing their 13 year old son, especially a Cancer mother who is too protective of him as it is? What the heck do you say?

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posted January 03, 2004 10:32 PM           

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I'm at a loss on this one.

I'd probably say something like, "I can't begin to fathom what you're going through - I'd be completely devastated if something like this happened to my daughter. I know you're in tremendous pain right now, and that there's nothing that anyone can really do to take that away. But - if you want someone to talk to or to cry to - I'm here; just let me know, and I'll be there for you."

But, then, my kiddo's not even born yet, so that's just a shot in the dark.

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Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted January 04, 2004 03:05 AM         

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By golly, that's exactly how I feel. Maybe I should just say what I feel.

I'm just afraid to say something "insensitive" and hurt her feelings, ya know? Like, "I'm just so gratefull that my child is ok", which is true, but equates to "better you than me". I'll certainly avoid saying that, but what if I blab out something else just as insensitive?

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posted January 04, 2004 11:27 AM           

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Yep, saying what you feel is probably for the best - I'll bet that she'll really appreciate the genuine feeling...and if you do slip up and say something that cuts (and I know where you're coming from - yay, Aqua Moon-foot-in-mouth Disease) on one hand she'll probably understand (although there will be an awkward moment or two), and you'll be able to continue past.

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Posts: 2255
From: land of the midnight sun
Registered: Dec 2002

posted January 04, 2004 12:49 PM         

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I think saying what you genuinely feel is good. My other advice would be to avoid saying "I'm sorry..." When my son's father died I heard so many people say that to me it started to sound absurd to me. I mean, I understood that people were trying to convey their sympathy.
It's just that that particular phrase, which is so common, seemed absurd. What are they sorry for? That it happened? They couldn't have done anything to prevent it. Sometimes the phrase goes, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss." What does that mean? That if they hadn't heard about it it wouldn't exist? Of course not..it's just one of those common phrases whose literal meaning doesn't apply..it's just a figure of speech people use when something bad has happened. I think it's best to avoid it and speak in a plainer, truer, from the heart manner. "Please know that you have my deepest sympathies. If there is anything I can do to help you through this dark time, please know that I am here for you."
It's especially hard to know what to say when her son's state is so uncertain. Head wounds are difficult. On one hand you hear stories about miracle recoveries that no doctors expected and it gives a dangerous sense of hope. Then on the other hand, the brain is such a complex, delicate and integral part of a person that the doctors are probably telling her all sorts of hopeless sounding stuff. It was a head wound that claimed my partner's life a year and a half ago.
I found comfort in knowing that everything happens for a reason and that the immortal part of my beloved's soul chose that time and place to die for specific purposes- purposes that seemed rather unfathomable at the time but became clearer as time went on. I don't know if that's how your friend is feeling, lioneye.. it's different when it's a child instead of an adult who lived a full life. Honestly I can't imagine how I would go on were I to lose my son. I imagine I would feel quite bitter towards the world and the divine. Nevertheless, I would try to imagine what my son would want me to do- mourn, survive, remember, and find happiness again.
This too shall pass..

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Posts: 4050
From: The Boundless
Registered: Mar 2003

posted January 04, 2004 05:14 PM         

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With all due respect to Harpyr, , I find nothing wrong with the words "I'm sorry." They're just a universal way of acknowledging empathy for pain. I've lost everyone in my family except my sis, and I never once minded hearing those words.

lioneye, also, the words "How can I help you?" might allow her to speak. I've read so many of your posts, you will know what to say, and when to say it. Of this I have no doubt.

Is she in close proximity? Can you offer to do anything for her, bring her food, walk her dog, do a load of laundry, anything like that? Small gestures, including the ability to be an objective listener, can be a great gift.

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Posts: 4032
From: Australia
Registered: Jan 2004

posted January 04, 2004 06:59 PM         

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I will think of him in my prayers.
xxx

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Joys Added -
Sorrows Subtracted -
Friends Multiplied -
Love Un-Divided

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Posts: 355
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2003

posted January 05, 2004 08:48 AM         

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Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted January 05, 2004 04:33 PM         

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I've sent my friend the link to this site, so she may be browsing here soon.

If you're here, my buddy, HI! *waves*

Sorry, guess I should clarify, it's my Aqua sun/Leo moon friend who I sent the link to, not Gavin's mom, the Cancer. Although it's possible that she could come here too. eventually. Aqua/Leo knows her as well. That's the mutual freind I referred to.

Keep the prayers and white light flowing, if you would please.

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Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted January 07, 2004 02:00 PM         

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To da top

Don't want Gavin to be forgotten. There's still hope!

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Posts: 6830
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Mar 2002

posted January 07, 2004 02:39 PM         

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If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~James Herriot

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Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted January 12, 2004 06:24 PM         

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Amazing News!

Gavin has woken up!

He's been taken off of all machines and his body is functioning on it's own now. He seems to be improving in leaps and bounds every day!!!

He's not communicating yet, and isnt' very alert, but he's out of the danger zone now!!!

I don't know if it was the Linda-Land prayers that made the difference or not, but thank you everyone, those of you who did take a moment to send him healing vibrations....

You guys are the greatest!

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY

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