posted February 01, 2004 10:30 PM         

Ever since i was little, I too, have had interesting things happen before falling asleep. It is a quiet time both externally and internally ( one hopes) so naturally, you are more in tune with things, as you wind down. I used to have an overwhelming feeling of vertigo, followed by these large, pulsating forms, who would either feel like they were going into me, very fast, or away... it was hard to tell which. It scared me, for a long time, when it happened, as it felt beyond my control, and it was, in fact. It felt like they were speeding away/at me, and I couldn't tell which, and it would change form yet not, and be constantly moving, yet still. I realize this sounds wacky, and I don't think I have ever mentioned it, never having an outlet to express it. I still don't know what this means, whether it was a spiritual thing, or a psychic thing or even a medical condition. I have had it within the past year, even. Though not with as much frequency, and it doesn't scare me, just fascinates me, with it's familiarity.
Maybe it is a waking manifestation of change, in my minds eye.
Once, I dreamed, with lucid clarity, after this happened, that I was in a gladiator stadium, and these forms were fighting, it felt universal and important. It sound silly to write it, and I can't place the importance in it's proper context, as it doesn't make sense to the logical mind.