Posts: 1409
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted March 04, 2004 02:13 PM         

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Yeeeee!!!! Yippee!!!!!!
Such an amazing visit.
For all who've been following my slightly complex saga it has taken a bit of a strongly positive turn, I think at least.
So, in regard to Tony, my special Gemini who has considered me a "good" friend for quite some time, and has been sporadically warm, then withdrawn, he now considers me, and wants me to consider him, a "best" friend.... ;D
Let me briefly outline how this came to pass:
We arrived on late Sunday night (the 22nd), and after the 1200 mile drive, I was understandably irritable, but in the morning, things got off to a fairly good start as Tony was eager to seek me out for one-on-one convsersation, said he was glad that we came and tenatively gave me a good hug, playfully poked me, etc.
Then, Wednesday morning, we had a blow-up, as I was in the kitchen after breakfast, with him and his Scorpio bro, and he said something a bit stupid and childish about an aquaintance he was concerned about: "If you pray, please pray for Glenda's husband Randy cause he has a serious problem with alcohol"...he knew from prior experience that religion, and our families' slight differences in religious affiliation are a very personal and senstive topic, and yet chose to bring it up anyhow. The Scorp bro, I realized later, tried to defend the personal nature of religion to me, but at the time, I, in my Aries tempestuous nature, spouted off some petty critical comments to each of them about their lack of maturity, and how I didn't come all this distance to be demeaned. I stormed off, and as I did, the Gemini said that he didn't want to be friends with someone was easily angered as me, as no matter what he did, I got angry with him and that he didn't ever want to speak to me again, or get any letters from me ever.
An hour or two later, when I went down to see the bookmobile that comes by their house, in the car, the Gemini appologized and I said I wasn't sure how much I believed the sincereity of it, but we both made out best effort to deal with it, and I let him know that I was sorry for blowing up. By the time we all went to church group that night, it was smoothed out, and we were playfully affectionate again.
The next morning, around the same time again, he made some silly cutting joke, and then when I didn't answer him, he said my name twice, and I mockingly ingored him, just for a second and he fumed off again, saying he was sick of how I overreacted to little things. I promptly went to the room I was staying in and sobbed hard, as I thought about how much he had hurt me and how I was sick of always fighting with him over trivialities and I listened to Ashanti's "Leaving", and wrote profusely in my journal about how I wasn't gonna let myself be treated like that again. Still, by the time we celebrated my soul-sister Tara's b-day a few hours later, I had come to terms with how I didn't want such a
special firendship to end this way, and I basically wrote him a personal note saying as much, and how I really enjoyed spending time with him, and thought he wasa great person, and that I was sorry for being so quick to treat him coolly. I also mentioned how I truly hoped we could be friends again. I gave it to him and he accepted it. He then asked me if we could go back to being at least "good" friends, again, possibly even "best" friends. He asked me to think on it. After that, he got a lot more physically affectionate, which I love, told my mom that we were "best" friends now,
invited me for rides in his new used car whenever he had an errand to run or sometimes just for nothing, lent me his coat or fleece pullover if I couldn't find my jacket, went out of his way to give me little gifts, spent time having good, honest
conversations with me, treated me basically as close to a girlfriend as I had imagined he might, keeping me close in a pleasantly possessive manner, and we also discussed some definitely long-term planning topics, like how he knew I wasn't thrilled with him going into the National Guard and how he was taking my thoughts into consideration, how he wants to move back to Missouri and I let him know I am still figuring out where I want to call home on a permanent basis, how he'd like to come visit us here, how I might be considering college in either Colorado or Missouri, he talked about his bio sibs and growing up a bit more, I mentioned how I was already oversensitive to screaming/fights from growing up with my emotionally volitile mom and that loud noises generally bother me, and how his music tastes were changing a it, away from rap a tad, but still how we had tons in common, and many topics like cars and Michelle Branch that mutually intrigued us. It was an intense experience. He also let me know how I was very lucky that he'd written back at all, as he hasn't written anyone else back as often as he was to me, he brought out all the letters that he's recieved from me to show me, saying that he's read one of them over so many times, it was worn out, and he'd memorized it, and that he was planning on writing me a lot more often now.....
Just wanted to update y'all on our progress.
OH, and also he said me had an important question for me, but then wouldn't tell me what it was as he claimed it "wasn't serious" (which to me implies it is...right?)...tauntingly avoided the topic when I mentioned it, then finally as we left, told me he'll write me the question and mail it. I'm eagerly anticipating finding out what it is, as he also hinted it was something he thinks I've been waiting to hear for a long time. I wonder if he might be asking me out?

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-K
"Most people love with restraint
As if they were someday to hate
We hated gently, carefully
As if we were someday to love"-Venus Trines at Midnight

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Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted March 04, 2004 02:25 PM         

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HHHHHmmmmm... I wonder!!!
*you know it, sister*

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Posts: 1409
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted March 04, 2004 11:01 PM         

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I really, REALLY hope so, that my intution's right, I mean, pixelpixie....I love him with all my being.

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-K
"Most people love with restraint
As if they were someday to hate
We hated gently, carefully
As if we were someday to love"-Venus Trines at Midnight

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Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted March 05, 2004 01:25 AM         

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Well, why else could you both effect each other in such a powerful way, with barely anything said... both negative and positive. Emotions run high and the connection is there. You know your intuition is spot on.
Good Luck!! I know how loving someone so intensely feels.. enjoy it!!!

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Posts: 6830
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Mar 2002

posted March 05, 2004 09:04 AM         

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You k-now my hearts with you

When he asks that question, deep deep breaths before you answer. Savor the moment and then SHARE with us.

I`m so glad you had a good time

juniperb

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If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~James Herriot

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Posts: 1409
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted March 05, 2004 10:34 AM         

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You k-now I will, juni!....provided my gut vibe is correct. I am so grateful to the warm, wise, and supportive hearts and souls here that have listened to me and guided me through the highs of joy, lows of doubt, and inbetween moments, and would be only too glad to share my next step in this journey with Tony with them....although I'm still scared that maybe I'm reading too much into this, and he is not on as intense a level of affection as I am, but time will tell. And no matter where we are with our relationship, I am unashamed to admit that I love him, wholy, and everlasting.

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-K
"Most people love with restraint
As if they were someday to hate
We hated gently, carefully
As if we were someday to love"-Venus Trines at Midnight

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Posts: 1409
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted March 09, 2004 11:38 PM         

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Guess who I talked with tonight? No, I know you're all probably getting sick of hearing my over-enthusiastic blathering, but I had to write it somewhere....but, but, it was my special Gemini. ooooooo......
He wanted to say "hi" tonight when I called my soul-sister Tara, and after the thirty-seconds she let him talk (she's possessive of her phone time) where he basically mentioned an upcoming interview he had for a summer job at an ice cream parlour, he ended the conversation with "Miss ya", and I said, "Miss ya too", and, then he said "Love ya", and of course, I said "Love ya too". But, that's the first time he's ever said them both together aloud...::sigh::
I'm grinning from ear to ear.
PS. I sorta asked about whether he was gonna write me soon, but the connection was bad on my cellphone, so I couldn't tell if he answered me or just changed topic, who knows.

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-K
"Most people love with restraint
As if they were someday to hate
We hated gently, carefully
As if we were someday to love"-Venus Trines at Midnight

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