posted March 15, 2004 12:45 PM           

Since putting together a little media stand last night sent me into a bout of cramping until I went to sleep, I've tried to stay rather inactive today. I decided to write Jason up a point-by-point guide to labor and delivery since he's afraid that he'll scream like a girl and the pass out during the process (I think he'll be fine, but I also thought that he might feel more confident if he knew roughly what to expect going in and _just what_ he can do during each stage...it'll warm his 6th House Taurus Moon Heart). It's made doubly necessary since he's been in constant training since, oh, October, and hasn't really had the chance to sit down and learn this stuff.

I based it off some of _What to Expect When You're Expecting_, but I knocked some bits out, added others, and made it marginally more humorous. Though this is only a rough draft, can ya'll tell me what you think? I'm especially interested in the feedback of those who've had kids (re: its actual potential usefulness).

Jason's Guide to Labor and Delivery

posted March 15, 2004 01:53 PM         

I'm scared to ever have a kid!!! GOod lord!

I support Corri...but I can't say I'm as strong!

posted March 15, 2004 02:35 PM         

A couple of suggestions that might be right for you:

1) If relatives and/or friends want to be in the room during early labor, it can be somewhat OK, but after a while Prox will probably want them gone. Scatbug should be prepared to ask them to wait in the waiting room, even your mom or his. Some moments were meant just for you two.

posted March 15, 2004 03:00 PM           

lalalinda - I know, I know...I still wanna see if I can do it, though. On one hand it's almost like female machismo, but on the other it's wanting to experience the whole bag (including the relief afterwards) while trying to cut down on the possibility of an incision, cesearean, or aftereffects on the kiddo (if it's done improperly).
But you're right - I've heard there's nothign that can compare, and I'm definitely gonna find out shortly...(perhaps more shortly than not...she dropped at 33 weeks).

D - Aw, all those symptoms don't *necessarily* happen, I'm just trying to prepare Jase for whatever may come. And, hey, that way if it's not as bad, he'll be relieved

Thank ya'll for your feedback!

posted March 15, 2004 03:08 PM         

I also want to say HURRAH! to you for deciding to go without the epidural.. Of course things sometimes things change in the midst of labor but remember.. If you progress too far into advanced labor then you won't be able to go back. I went without the epidural and by the time I was fully dialated and it was about time to push I started becoming afraid that I couldn't do it without drugs and my midwife said "Stay strong, Stephanie. It's too late for the epidural now."

I was glad for it though, cause that's not really what I wanted. It was just the pain talking. I found reserves of strength and endurance I didn't know I possessed before this and it was extremely liberating to realize this. I felt like Superwoman, like I could do absolutely anything in the world.

When my son was crowning it was the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my life but the blessed part of it was as soon as he slid out I experienced the most exhilarating sense of relief and empowerment- it was an instantaneous shift. I'm not sure that would have happened if I'd been cloudy with drugs. I remember hearing that my cousin practically slept through all her contractions. It was an entirely different experience for her.

Granted, for some women the epidural is the right choice. Some are really traumatized for life by the birthing experience. It's a very personal experience that every woman must make her own way through whatever way she sees best for her.

Regardless, I'm sure you will do great. (It's that fifth house sun that gives me confidence in your ability to make the best of the birth experience. )

oh.. and I just wanted to add.. about the cord cutting. What I found to be really nice.. (if the hospital will let you- sometimes they are weird or if the baby is distressed.. ) is as soon as the baby is birthed then she is placed straight away on your tummy and the cord is left to stop pulsating on it's own before being cut. It's a magical moment..holding your babe while she's still connected to you. I hear it's also less traumatic for the child.. eases her entry into the world.. it can be a scary thing for the little one as we all know.

posted March 15, 2004 04:34 PM         

LOL my fear is my a twist of karmic fate my kid will put me thru what I put my dear mother thru

posted March 15, 2004 04:36 PM         

Reading this brought back memories. Overall I'd say your guide for Jason is very accurate and should be helpful to you both.

A few suggestions: Try to relax and pace yourself. Talk, listen to music, watch TV, whatever, to distract you and pass the time. And yes, conserve your energy. First babies can take longer to arrive than subsequent ones -- though not necessarily -- every birth is unique.

About an epidural: I needed to get one during my first labor (no choice; 12 hrs. after my water broke my labor was going nowhere despite contractions, so it became necessary to administer a pitocin drip). I had wanted to go completely natural, having the baby in the birthing room etc., but it was just no longer an option. I was disappointed and believe that although the pitocin aided in my labor's progress, the epidural slowed down the actual birthing process because I COULDN'T FEEL ANYTHING. The second labor was shorter, totally natural and Iess traumatic for the baby -- as I said -- every birth is unique and very, very special.

However long your labor lasts and whether or not you choose/are able to deliver naturally, know that you can do this and any pain you experience will be eclipsed by the utter JOY you'll feel when you hold your baby in your arms. It is indescribable. And yes if possible, have the baby placed on your tummy right after birth. Incredible.

Take care of yourself and best of luck to you, Jason and your soon-to-be-here baby!

posted March 15, 2004 05:42 PM         

Actually, a cesarian is sounding REALLY attractive after reading those notes on what to expect for the birth...gah now I know why mothers don't often tell their daughters anymore than, "it was a bit painful but once I saw you I forgot all about it"..if they did, they'd risk not ever having any grandchildren

Congrats and good luck!

posted March 16, 2004 08:20 AM         

I hardly remember her birth at all, except relief that is was OVER.

With my 2nd daughter, I had preterm labor for 3 months and the final month of that was spent in bed. The night before she was born I was having contractions, but I thought it was the preterm labor that I had been experiencing. When I got to my doctors appt the following morning, I had dialated to a 5 and was in active labor. They rushed me over to the hospital, gave me an epidural and 2 hours later she was born! Now....let me explain my experience with the epidural...

First off, it's not like a big long needle into the back! It feels like a bee sting. And my aneste guy was the best! I had a pillow in my lap, and then the nurse had me put my arms around her shoulders and neck. She in turn hugged me while he was putting the line in my back. No problems at all. The contractions kept coming and it didn't slow the process at all. However, I didn't feel the contractions like before, I felt pressure in my stomach, squeezing like, but no pain, and then fluid would gush out when it was over....they told me when it was time to push I would know it, and I did. It was a different sensation, I told the nurse, she cleared the room, got the doctor and I pushed 2 times and she was out. And I was WIDE awake and aware of everything going on and it was a blessed event. I looked at her laying on my stomach and I cried. My husband cried...and THAT was a magical moment. We bonded with her so beautifully, because we were both so awake and in good spirits.

Unfortunately, I feel cheated of that bond with Emily my oldest, as I was so exhausted that I barely remember her birth at all...and her father whisked her up and carried her around the room and truly bonded with her without me...I've tried to make up for it since then in her life, but to no avail...but now Sarah, her father and I both bonded with her...(my daughters have different father's by the way)

So...that is my birth story....having an epidural does not mean you are any less of a woman, trust me...it just keeps you from having to go through a bunch of unnesscary pain...you might say now that you want to go natural...but wait till that first contraction hits you that shoots off the chart at like 65, and you might be singing a different tune! And it's OK if you do!!!!