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Author
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Topic: I`m Lonely and Craving cheese
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juniperb
Knowflake Posts: 6830
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted April 20, 2004 07:47 PM
 
For the first time in memory I`m lonely and this independent Aqua is lost.  My Cancer got transfered to midnights and for the first time in nine years, he`s not here at night  . In the meantime, I`m eating cheese and  Sylvia Brownes Journey of the Soul series again ...... What does one do to get pass this emotion besides get fat and keep telling Sylvia 'I knew that ' ? juniperb  ------------------
If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~James Herriot IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted April 20, 2004 07:52 PM
You make me smile.. I tell Sylvia "I knew that" too. It's good to reaffirm your beliefs. Anything on your ongoing life-list of things to do, that you know will enrich you, but keep putting it off for whatever reason?
Now is the time, if you are wanting to fill time, and it feels right... You have such serene wisdom... if you authored a book, I would surely buy it.. even if you just wrote it for yourself/scapbooked for your family and posterity, the things and lessons which have value to you..... Chronicle the things you have learned, in vivid detail, and reaffirm again...
You can tell yourself.."I knew that." IP: Logged |
trillian
Knowflake Posts: 4050
From: The Boundless
Registered: Mar 2003
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posted April 20, 2004 08:02 PM
I'm almost always alone at night. *sigh* And I too am so tired of being alone, but I don't want to whine. I just bought some "gourmet" soy cheese, I'll have to go try it and see if it's any good. I'll read a bit, watch a bit of TV, then I will work on my book at 9. So goes the single life...just been going on too long. Ooops. I was whining again. Love ya lots, Juniperb. I'll be thinking of you.  IP: Logged |
talaith
Knowflake Posts: 271
From:
Registered: Feb 2004
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posted April 20, 2004 11:46 PM
hi juniperb ~may i suggest lighting some deep, rich incense, lowering the lights, listening to some soft music, and doing some slow, deep stretching..... breathe deeply, feel the peace and quiet in your heart and mind, and relax your body and spirit. ooohhhhh.....let the moonlight wrap around you and feel the universe singing. divine!  love, talaith IP: Logged |
Aphrodite
Knowflake Posts: 4992
From:
Registered: Feb 2002
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posted April 20, 2004 11:55 PM
Would you be able to call your Cancer at work sometimes? Just to say Hi?IP: Logged |
CancerianMoon
Knowflake Posts: 1082
From: Sydney, Australia. Cancer Sun.....Gemini Moon.....Aqua Rising
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted April 21, 2004 05:29 PM
after my kids are to bed im often alone at nights too.. 
and i agree completely with pixel....this is an oppourtunity..
you have an amazing heart and insight..putting things to paper is a great tool..
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trillian
Knowflake Posts: 4050
From: The Boundless
Registered: Mar 2003
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posted April 21, 2004 08:55 PM
Want an editor, juniperb?  IP: Logged |
Rainbow~
Knowflake Posts: 5927
From: The Little River Indian Reservation
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted April 21, 2004 09:30 PM
Aww junie....  ....sounds like the gals have some really good advice here...I've been alone for so long, I'm rather used to it by now...*sigh*... Alan Oken says I gotta settle for universal love, cuz I ain't ever gonna make it in "personal" love....and I guess I've taken his advice to heart...*sigh* (I think that's a Venus Opposite Neptune aspect...Venus being in the fifth house)...*sigh again* (been there, tried it!) Love,
Rainbow
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juniperb
Knowflake Posts: 6830
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted April 22, 2004 11:21 AM
Thank you for all the wonderful advice. I`ve discovered I can`t rationalize loneliness or let cloud it my outlook. So, I`ve switched to a meatier book (James Joyce) bought grapes (no more cheese  ) and am letting my Virgo moon coordinate which rooms / walls to scrub first in a spring cleaning frenzy. Then I`m too exhausted to write my book, but Trillian, you`re first choice editor when I get my poop in a group Every night after he leaves, I think of each one of you who responded and send love and comfort to you.  Hugs & thanks everyone juniperb ------------------
If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~James Herriot IP: Logged |
FishKitten
Knowflake Posts: 1033
From: on the trail of the Old Ones
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted April 22, 2004 01:13 PM
Hi Juniperb. My Cappy is gone at least one night on most weeks because he is a musician and musicians have to travel and work nights on a fairly regular basis. I find I really love that time. I use it for "girl stuff" like long, hot steamy baths or pedicures or renting chick flick movies or eating my favourite comfort foods. I snuggle with the pets, go online at 2 am, sit out on the deck and dream under the stars, stretch out across the whole bed, etc. We are always delighted to see each other after his gigs, but I do like my alone time very much. Enjoy just hanging out with the wonderful, irrepressable Juniperb!IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 7314
From: Schweinfurt to Grafenwoehr all within 6 months LOL
Registered: May 2002
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posted April 22, 2004 01:22 PM
I must be an ODDBALL!!I LOVE being alone!! It gives me the freedom that I love- the hardest time I ever had was when I was married and had someone there EVERY NIGHT LOL...it just drove me crazy. I mean, I got used to it and I loved him with a purple passion - but I wanted to be able to read, listen to music, work out, meditate, take long bubble baths....LOL....I am such a Saggie LOL I think it is hard though to go from having someone you love with you every night to having to be alone Juni. How long does he have to work midnights? I wish I could offer some help - but I am just too independent for my own good sometimes. Hmmm, cheese is yummmmmy.....especially extra sharp vermont cheddar and smoked gouda hee hee IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted April 22, 2004 03:32 PM
Pid~ I need alone time too. I get excited about the possibility.. even if I do NOTHING!!! I do it because I want to do it. Because I can.
But then there are those times when I MUST get out to connect. I crave a moving and united relationship. Sometimes I just want a hug. But not too many please! My husband's Venus in Pisces is so clingy for my Venus in Sag. I'm like.. *peeling him off me* "K, I love you too, now carry on...." IP: Logged |
trillian
Knowflake Posts: 4050
From: The Boundless
Registered: Mar 2003
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posted April 22, 2004 04:13 PM
You know Pid, I've wondered that about myself too. I have so much fire, and I am nearly all Cardinal signs! 6 personal planets all cardinal(I'm including Saturn as a personal planet, which is debatable). And I am sooo very independent, and have been all my life.But increasingly my heart and soul have longed to find The One for me, to marry and build a life together. In a realllly big house. With a lot of land. And frequent travel.  IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 7314
From: Schweinfurt to Grafenwoehr all within 6 months LOL
Registered: May 2002
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posted April 22, 2004 04:24 PM
Trillian and Pixie...SO TRUE..I mean I am not adverse to a relationship - but I am just not willing to let my Venus in Sag get clung to anyone LOL...Okay - Trill - the big house thing...maybe it is the cardinal in the chart - but I used to always joke that when I got married I wanted my own wing of the house - or at least my own room so I could have my shelter. Luckily, when I was married our house was big enough and I had the upstairs bathroom and bedroom as my refuge, even though we slept together in the main bedroom downstairs. It was just "my space" we also each had our own offices privacy. I will say, being married to a Virgo with a Gemini moon really had it's advantages because he was also very space minded. But every now and again his Venus / Mars in Leo would roar for attention and make me feel bad for being upstairs for too long...LOL... IP: Logged |
juniperb
Knowflake Posts: 6830
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted April 22, 2004 04:30 PM
I love my alone time too; in fact I need it. I usually spend 10 - 12 hours alone here daily with the four leggeds, the gardens, and all the things I love so. I hike, read, daydream as well as work very hard. It`s the him not being here at bedtime and I can genuinely feel his presence missing. I think part of it is the ritual of going together thru the barns, house, and making sure everybody is secure for the night. We always took some time and looked at the stars, listened to the nightlife and it just felt good. I`m mellowing over it but hopefully it`s only for a couple weeks... Oh Pid, I ate smoked swiss and baby gouda Fishkitten, a musician how cool. What genre of music? Does he go on long trips? Pixie, Sylvia went back on the shelf. At least James Joyce is more involved for right now! Don`t underestimate Uni-versal love. It can sweep you off your feet for the highest purpose juniperb
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If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~James Herriot IP: Logged |
NikiSpeedy
Knowflake Posts: 345
From: NC
Registered: Jul 2003
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posted April 22, 2004 05:43 PM
I am a true loner myself. Was married, but could NOT stand this every day stuff. Like, what was he gonna eat today? Sheesh I used to have pangs of loneliness - not much any more.Ahh Rainbow -- I have that same aspect u speaking of in the same signs and houses - hmmm. I spent so much time on "relationship" that i just burned out finally. So now, if it happens, it will just be a surprise and hope i can handle it -- if we have separate places and can get together when we want instead of the dreariness (to me at least) of that all the time every day stuff. I need time to miss him. Have had boyfriends in the past who "got rid" of me cuz i am so independent -- rofl. Seems it was all about control anyway. IP: Logged |
FishKitten
Knowflake Posts: 1033
From: on the trail of the Old Ones
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted April 22, 2004 05:50 PM
Mostly good old fashioned rock and roll, but also a lot of blues and some urban folk. Besides his own music, things like the Beatles, Stones, George Thoroughgood, Johnny Cash, Aerosmith, Nirvana...actually he knows hundreds of songs from all kinds of groups and has written dozens himself. I don't know how he remembers all the words plus all the chord progressions, etc. Mostly, he is only away for 1-3 nights. The longest trip was two weks, but I went along to run sound and keep the band herded into a group. Musicians are just hilarious to hang around with. Of course, I have gone on digs and been gone for up to two months without a visit, so I couldn't complain if he did decide to go on a long tour. He is Capricorn with Sag rising, so his Sag personality makes him want to travel, but his Cappy soul whispers to him, "Not too far from home, young goat."I know what you mean about the part when you first go to bed. You shut down the house together and snuggle up. Feet touching, arms, hands...we are very cuddly sleepers. I wouldn't want him to be gone every night. I don't mind sleeping alone part of the time, though. I find my dreams are slightly different depending on whether or not his brainwaves are zipping around the bedroom next to mine. IP: Logged |
juniperb
Knowflake Posts: 6830
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted April 22, 2004 08:12 PM
Fishkitten, you two make beautiful music together Anyone, What is Ulysses about anyhow?  I can`t make much sense out of it. And I thought Joyce would distract me . I`m better off spring cleaning ------------------
If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~James Herriot IP: Logged |
trillian
Knowflake Posts: 4050
From: The Boundless
Registered: Mar 2003
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posted April 22, 2004 09:00 PM
juniperb, do yourself a favor, get the Cliff's Notes. Then find something juicier to read! Sorry, I was never into U. either. Oh, and ladies, I love that feeling of falling asleep next to a man I love...Pid, it must be the cardinal stuff, 'cause I've said the same thing, about having a wing of my own... IP: Logged |
trillian
Knowflake Posts: 4050
From: The Boundless
Registered: Mar 2003
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posted April 24, 2004 05:12 PM
Juni, my last post didn't come out sounding the way I had intended. I'm sorry if it sounded inappropriate. It's been edited.IP: Logged |
juniperb
Knowflake Posts: 6830
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted April 24, 2004 05:23 PM
Trillian no sweat I read it with my Aries hat on! I`ve had the book since college and it still isn`t making sense. I`ve gently closed it up til next time.I`m on to Nothing in This Book is True, But It`s Exactly How Things Are. juniperb ------------------
If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~James Herriot IP: Logged |
Eleanore
Moderator Posts: 2512
From: Japan
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted April 25, 2004 08:04 AM
pidaua and trillian
quote:
I used to always joke that when I got married I wanted my own wing of the house - or at least my own room so I could have my shelter.
Wow, I've never met anyone else who felt that way. All my family and friends think it's absolutely weird of me to feel that way, but I can't help it, lol, and it feels right somehow. I really was joking about an entire "wing" but some space just for me (and some space just for my hubby) would be a wonderful blessing. We share an office/library room right now ... it's a little cramped and not entirely matching in decor, but I've got my own desk at least. The land thing is an aspiration as well ... perhaps not endless spans of it, but enough for some nice, big gardens. I'm a Sagittarius with 5 planets in cardinal signs, so perhaps you've got a good theory going there. Oh yeah, Aquarius Rising, too. ****** juniperb
I always thought I wouldn't adjust to being around someone all the time because I enjoy being alone a lot. Still, now that he's always here, especially at night, I don't know how well I'd do sleeping alone. I very feel safe and warm around him. Perhaps one day I'll be posting about loneliness and cheese cravings (though with me it'll probably be chocolate) when he's away on a trip or working late. I do think I'd be more likely to follow FishKitten's "girl stuff" advice after I came to terms with it, though, and perhaps also talaith's very relaxing recommendations.
BTW Let us know how you like your new choice for reading because it's been sitting on my shelf for a while now and I can't decide if I want to read it or not, lol.  ------------------
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Ghandi IP: Logged |
juniperb
Knowflake Posts: 6830
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted April 25, 2004 08:36 AM
Eleanore, I have 6 air placements so I try to rationalize my feelings. It took me three years to get used to a full time relationship; then somewhere in the last six, it became a part of me I guess. I am enjoying the book! It`s opened my mind to new possabilities... then there is that air thinking again I admit I haven`t grasped the merkaba in it`s entirety; guess I need to roll it around in my head some more. juniperb ------------------
If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~James Herriot IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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