posted June 28, 2004 07:06 AM           

I was in a similar situation when I started attending a certain university in the mountains of VA.
I hated it.
I didn't get on with any of the people.
The only ones I could really hold a conversation not involving beer bongs with were my professors; everyone else was fresh off some Varsity squad or another and were ready to P-A-R-T-Y. It felt like a terrible replaying of high school (where I was shy but thought to be a snob by many because of that shyness). I had just come from two years at a school that was the polar opposite of that place (the first being full of a mostly working, highly diverse people, the latter being a largely white, upper-middle class student body who had their mom and dad paying their way); I had fit-in with the others, but the people at the new school and I just weren't meshing. I genuinely disliked my roommate and I'm pretty sure that the feeling was mutual.

Well, at least all of that was my perception - that was the way that I felt, so that was the way that it was. There were people there that I probably could've had a fun time with - one girl in one of my anthro classes had elvish tatooed on her ankle (and was quite impressed when I spotted and named it), another had a crush on me (but that's a whoooole different story), and there was a fairly active film club on campus. But all that didn't matter. I focused on the the parts that didn't suit me, so those became the parts that mattered.
Over the course of the first semester, I slipped into major depression. It abated when I went home for the holidays, but returned, sure as the sun, when I returned.
My solution was to flip out and spend some time in Portland, Oregon and blow-off the rest of the semester. I figured, "Hey, I'm paying my own way on all fronts, everyone can kiss my bumper."
It worked.
So, there you have one option - change of latitude, change of attitude. Drastic readjustment can do wonders.

But if you don't want to go through a made-for-TV-movie to feel better, you can take door #2.
You can see the good around you and let go of your old preconceptions and prejudices and self-imposed limitations. See new possibilities in that which you've given up on as tired or beyond reach. Look in places you'd have never thought worth looking into. See the good, or at least the worth interest, all around.
Allow yourself time to recharge - the most beautiful sunsets and rises that I've ever seen were to be found in the Blueridge, but I didn't give myself time to enjoy them for fear that doing so'd detract from "useable time".
If you have $4, find a way to the nearest coffee house (getting there may be an adventure in itself if you don't have car), buy some ridiculous drink, and spend as many hours as the employees'll bear sitting there and nursing it while you write, read, and people watch. Everyone around you may think that you're some budding artist, or at the very least a dissatisified but dynamic intellectual. Role play, and see where it leads.
That Big Thing may end up happening.

posted June 28, 2004 02:00 PM         

I like what Prox had to say and would like to add, when school starts a whole new world of opportunities will be revealed.

As far as work, check into the student work program. I used to set up the labs as a lab assistant and then moved my way up to teaching the microbiology lab class my senior year and tutored. It was only min wage, but it was a great way to get experience and meet people. Both of my roommates did the same. The Gemini worked at the Business School while the Leo worked for the Social work school. You can even work in the cafeteria, library, bookstore..etc...

You may find yourself drawn to various clubs or programs that reflect your major or interests.

posted June 28, 2004 02:03 PM         

I think most of us can identify with this funk you're experiencing, in one way or another.

Your life's just begining. Most of our lives are spent in our adult years. It seems to me that you're in that scary place... stuck between grown-up and kid.

You'll find a job if you keep trying, and that will open up many social oppertunities. So will school. Once you start school and meet more people, I'm sure you'll find out some of the local hot spots.

The right people will come into your life when you need them. Maybe this quiet time is a good time for self reflection.

You seem to have your head screwed on straight. You're a very intelligent young woman.

You can't have been in Nevada for long, having just graduated high school. Hang tough, honey, this funk will pass.

posted June 28, 2004 02:32 PM         

you've never done a beer bong?!

posted June 30, 2004 05:02 PM         

I know exactly the place in life where you are residing right now. It is one of those major transitional states that causes us to reflect on all the tranformations around us in the world and within our own sphere of friends. You will find yourself going through mini-transformations through college as well as another HUGE transformation upon graduation when you change a set of friends once again, and embark on a new life.

It is a hard time, I won't lie about that. It can be very difficult when the pressures start such as "Do I blow off my Sat night studying so that I can go partying or will they think I am a total geek because I like to spend my time in the lab / library..etc.?" You will ask yourself about dating, getting involved, majors ..all those wonderful college things.

I chose to be social but completely uncommitted. I didn't want to let "relationships - sexual or too intimate" detour me from getting my degrees. So, although I dated and went out with a lot of my friends but if a guy ever got to serious, I would break it off. I existed like that until my senior year and then I was ready to get involved. I am not advocating that, but being a Sag Sun / Venus in Sag I have a tendency to...well have attention problems..so I needed to stay focused.

In a way I envy where you are, because it was such a introspective and growing time in my life and I know you will make the most of this time.

posted June 30, 2004 11:23 PM         

Chin up dorkus. In two years you'll wonder what you were worried about. Don't convince yourself that it's hard to make friends. You will soon enough. Think about what you enjoy doing, sports, writing or any other activity and see if there are any others with the same hobbies. Groups are easier to join. Go on line and see if you can find something you'll enjoy doing. Go for it. Write back and let us know how things are.

Gia