posted October 03, 2004 11:33 PM         

The Astrology Lightbulb

Q: How many Tauruses does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None: Tauruses don't like to change anything.
A: One. But only if they can celebrate afterwards with a 10-course meal and some great sex.
A: One, but just *try* to convince them that the burnt out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two (of course) but it will take all week, and when they're done the
lightbulb will do your homework, speak French, and shine any color you want it to.
A: Two. Plus a portable phone, an Internet link and a copy of the 'Bluffer's Guide to Changing Lightbulbs.'
A: Two, but they never change it - they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done.

Q: How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.
A: Just one, and they'll use a non-disposable diaper too!
A: None: Cancerians would worry themselves to death with the problem.

Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Leos don't change lightbulbs, although sometimes their agents get a Virgo in to do it for them while they're out.
A: None: Leos are so enthusiastic they carry their own light.

Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Virgos don't have time to change their own lightbulbs. They're too busy changing them for everyone else.
A: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.
A: Let's see: One to spot the bulb, one to record the time the bulb burned out and the date it was bought, one to decide whose fault it is the bulb burned out and ask why that brand was chosen in the first place, ten to decide to remodel the house as long as they're changing the bulb...

Q: How many Libras does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Er, two. Or maybe one. No - on second thoughts, make that two. Is that OK with you?
A: Why change the bulb? Isn't it more romantic in the dark?
A: Well gee, I don't know really. I guess it depends on the bulb and where it burned out. It might perhaps take just one if it's just an ordinary bulb, but maybe two if the person doesn't know where to find a new lightbulb, or...

Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Why do you want to know? Are you a cop?
A: None - they'd rather sit in the dark.
A: That information is strictly secret and only shared with the inner members of the heirarchical order.

Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Look, ask me when I get back from India, OK?
A: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out light bulb?
A: A whole bunch: I can only keep them in the room long enough for them to give the bulb a quarter turn a piece.

Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Capricorns can't afford new lightbulbs - unless they're a legitimate business expense.
A: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
A: None: Why should I bother? It's probably just going to burn out again tomorrow anyway.

Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy so...
A: A hundred, but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world.
A: Like, why don't you just get out of my face and stop asking me to do all your work for you? I'm, like, really totally sick and tired of you asking me questions.

Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Huh? The light's out?
A: What lightbulb?
A: None: They concern themselves with inner light.

posted October 04, 2004 02:12 PM         

Everlong... don't i only know!!!