posted March 24, 2005 06:49 PM              

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FOR ALL YOU LEXOPHILES (LOVERS
OF WORDS)

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
3. Time flies like an arrow -- Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; In feudalism,
it's your count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll
show you A-flat minor.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is
fully recovered.
12. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would
result in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
15. He often broke into song because he couldn't find
the key.
16. Every calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory that was never
developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison
was a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be
exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen
a mall.
24. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
25. When an actress saw her first strands of gray
hair she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the
agony of defeat.

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posted March 24, 2005 07:02 PM              

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7. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

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posted March 24, 2005 07:18 PM              

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I love those!

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posted March 24, 2005 08:35 PM              

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palindromes

Sex at noon taxes.
Sex at my gym taxes.
Sex often: I met foxes.
Sex-aware era waxes.
Six ate nine taxis.
Sex Alert: "Ella, my mallet relaxes!"
See referees
See, we prefer pewees
Sela Ward did draw ales
Selma, I am Les
Seen knees
Sh! Tom sees moths.
Sis, ask Costner to not rent socks "as is"!
Snug all L.A. guns!
Slap my gym pals.
Sleep on no peels.
So, camera solos are MacOS?
Solo gigolos.
Solos
"Some deer fees!" I say as I see free demos.
Son, I sack casinos!
Spay dogs as God yaps.
So, Mama, I won--now I am Amos!
So I dare to Ned, "Denote radios!"
Stack cats
Star comedy by Democrats
Star sees rats
Sue, yes, God's dogs eye us
Stella won no wallets.
Step on no pets.
Swap for a pair of paws?
Swap paws.
Swen nixes sex in news.
Straw warts

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posted March 24, 2005 08:37 PM              

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Those are great Bluemoon
"Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll
show you A-flat minor."

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posted March 24, 2005 09:57 PM              

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Yes, I love things like that! You sound cheerier, NepMaid!!! Happy to see it!!

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posted March 24, 2005 10:29 PM              

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Those were a riot! Thanks bluemoon.

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison
was a small medium at large.

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posted March 25, 2005 06:26 AM              

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Hi Bluemoon
Yes, I’m feeling much better. I’m getting over my blues. NepMaid, I really like that thanks honey

Hi 26

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posted March 25, 2005 10:20 AM              

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Ahh brilliant, brilliant (claps hands)

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posted March 25, 2005 10:47 AM              

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lol

i totally copy pasted that and emailed to everyone. awesome stuff

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Posts: 1
From: Douglas AZ. USA
Registered: Jun 2011

posted March 25, 2005 12:11 PM            

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Thanks for the laugh BM! I liked #6!

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posted July 20, 2005 10:16 AM              

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*bumped* Brilliant, needed the laugh!

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posted July 20, 2005 12:24 PM              

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Oh, thank you for bumping! I had totally missed this! How funny!

quote:

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A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would
result in Linoleum Blownapart.

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posted March 03, 2008 07:23 AM              

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An oldie but a goodie
Bumpin'

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Posts: 26
From: Rainy City
Registered: Nov 2009

posted March 03, 2008 09:25 AM            

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haha. some of these had me laughing out loud. thank you.
especially this one:

7. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

------------------
Scio me nihil scire
tanslation- I know that I know Nothing

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Posts: 813
From: Neptune next to MikeG & Pluto
Registered: May 2013

posted July 29, 2014 01:58 AM            

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I think "Weird Al" Yankovic just might be a lexophile.

A prime example is his song "Bob", which consists of rhyming palindromes parodying Bob Dylan's "Subterranean Homesick Blues".

Here's a link to the video on YouTube... "Weird Al" Yankovic - Bob

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Posts: 10480
From: the Point of Light within the Mind of God
Registered: Aug 2013

posted July 29, 2014 02:57 PM            

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Palindromes are Ionic Capitals.

In Verse.

Are they all esses up there?

And I do wish you would please quit teasing me.

I Love Weird Al.

Only wish I could watch *cries copious tears*

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Posts: 50424
From: Saturn next to Charmaine
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 30, 2014 10:35 AM            

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Posts: 813
From: Neptune next to MikeG & Pluto
Registered: May 2013

posted July 30, 2014 09:33 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by Ellynlvx:

I Love Weird Al.

Only wish I could watch *cries copious tears*

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Here's a couple stills from the video for you... *windows leaking with laughter*

(Lisa Bonet legally changed her name to Lilakoi Moon, but I think she still goes by Lisa Bonet professionally.)

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Posts: 10480
From: the Point of Light within the Mind of God
Registered: Aug 2013

posted July 30, 2014 09:41 PM            

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Cool!

That was so kind of you.

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Posts: 50424
From: Saturn next to Charmaine
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 31, 2014 02:25 PM            

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Interesting.

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Posts: 50424
From: Saturn next to Charmaine
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 30, 2014 01:09 PM            

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Posts: 4461
From: The Etheric Realms...Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat...& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted August 30, 2014 01:28 PM            

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Moved a copy to Lexigram Magic!

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NumeroLexigrams
~I remember,
therefore I am immortal
~Lexxigramer
Click here to read My Lexigramming Biography/over 1/2 a century to date Lexigramming

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Posts: 8831
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 14, 2015 01:00 PM            

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Sue, yes, God's dogs eye us

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Christian, Jew, Muslim, Shaman, Zoroastrian, stone, ground, mountain, river, each has a secret way of being with the Mystery, unique and not to be judged.
Rumi

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Posts: 50424
From: Saturn next to Charmaine
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 15, 2015 02:51 PM            

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Who is Sue?

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