posted June 28, 2005 08:14 AM         

Also, my Uranus in Scorpio is itching for a spring cleaning and nothing like a controversy, old posts and stuff like that to clean out the air ... right?

posted June 30, 2005 08:18 AM         

VTT, I don't mean to pry, but what exactly is the situation with your family, because from other posts I've read it seems a bit, er, troublesome. I can in a way identify w/it because my father used to beat me up even when I was in my early twenties, when I was living at home.
Is there any chance you can move away?

Lots of love to you,

AT

posted June 30, 2005 06:37 PM         

Used to have to deal with physical abuse, but both my parents know next time they're going to be dealing with the cops so they don't anymore. It used to be really bad when I was in my teens, and I had absolutely NOWHERE to turn like I do now, BOTH of them used to pull my hair, punch me all over (sometimes till I couldn't breath, physical abuse takes the wind right of you), hold my face into my bed or pillow till I almost passed out...I have had to go to work and school and lie about bruises and black eyes.

That's the basic jist. I just walk around the house on eggshells or hide in my room when I'm home and try not to talk to anyone because what I say is either used as a weapon later on, or because if I say something they don't like it turns into WWIII.

I have 51 more days left (25 of those I am working). I'm going to college in August. OMG the intensity of my emotions of just wanting to LEAVE! It's like wow, 51 days is so close but at the same time agonizingly slow.

posted July 01, 2005 04:24 AM         

Thanks guys for your sympathies, you are very kind.

posted July 01, 2005 04:30 AM         

No offence girl, but I am just wondering why you would want to make a thread about having nervous breakdowns a "silly one", I dont know whether you have been thro one yourself or lived with anyone that has, but there is nothing silly or flippant about the human spirit breaking down. I apprecaite your efforts to be joyful, but this is not the place to do that, maybe you could find another one which has less of a serious content!!

Thanks and love

posted July 01, 2005 08:40 AM         

I don't talk to either of them any more. I don't exactly feel sorry for them, but I think they had a lot of unresolved issues and these were not made better by being married to each other and having a family. They both had to deal with instances of sexual abuse when they were children and I understand how this can really screw people up. I think they have a lot of aggression against the world in general.

I felt I could trust my husband with the stories of my domestic past - for a long time I saw him as the best thing that had ever happened to me - but bizarrely, when I stopped talking to both of them, HE then started physically abusing me and saying "you've got to be nice to me, I'm the only friend you've got" and similar cr*p.

However, I have got over all this and am determined to make my own life now where I am not existing in any sort of co-dependent relationship. Because of my own insecurities I hung on to these sorts of people - but I don't need to any more.

Go for it, girl! I am starting a postgrad. college course in September too.

Lots of love,

AT

posted July 01, 2005 08:49 AM         

I am not in any way trying to be silly here ... I never thought this thread would take this turn. I was going through the stuff written before it was brought up again and one thing that struck me was how, inspite of such crappy times, people were able to cheer each other up and offer strength and hope in a time where everything seems dark and hopeless. I was just hoping to rekindle the same kind of emotion, of sharing and love, for all the people who posted here.