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Topic: Fairy tales linked to violent relationships
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neptune's mermaid Knowflake Posts: 1069 From: Registered: Dec 2004
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posted April 22, 2005 11:33 AM
I just saw this and it really surprised me. Felt I should post it, what do you think? quote: LONDON (AFP) - Young girls who enjoy classic romantic fairy tales like "Cinderella" and "Beauty and the Beast" are at greater risk of becoming victims of violent relationships in later life, a British researcher says. A study of both parents of primary school children and women who have been involved in domestic abuse claims than those who grew up reading fairy tales are likely to be more submissive as adults. Susan Darker-Smith, a graduate student who wrote the academic paper, said she found many abuse victims identified with characters in famous children's literature and claimed the stories provide "templates" of dominated women. A more senior academic at the University of Derby said the topic was sure to spark debate but merited further research. "They believe if their love is strong enough they can change their partner's behaviour," Darker-Smith said. "Girls who have listened to such stories as children tend to become more submissive in their future relationships." The research, conducted in Leicester in the east of England, is to be presented to the International Congress of Cognitive Therapy in Gothenburg, Sweden, next month. Her study, entitled "The Tales We Tell Our Children: Overconditioning of Girls to Expect Partners to Change", will be discussed by many of the world's most influential therapists. Darker-Smith said she believed younger generations exposed to television and other entertainment media may react differently and be less submissive than those weaned solely on literature. Her work found the most popular bedtime stories for girls were "Cinderella" and "Rapunzel", while boys were more likely to hanker for "Paddington Bear" or "Thomas the Tank Engine". Darker-Smith, a masters student in cognitive behavioural psychotherapy at the University of Derby, will also submit other abstracts to the conference, examining ideas about anorexia and post-traumatic stress disorder. Michael Townend, senior lecturer in psychotherapy at the university said: "We know that storytelling is an important way that children form beliefs about themselves and relationships." "Susan's work is an interesting study which is sure to spark debate, but further research is required in this area."
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pixelpixie Knowflake Posts: 5301 From: Ontario Canada Registered: Jun 2005
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posted April 22, 2005 12:42 PM
They'll link anything with anything...."Cheerio eating will lead to extreme paranoia around hula hoops", new study finds..... I wonder if the money spent on researching such inane things would be better spent funding healthcare or something? Just an inkling.... We get images of our future selves through the scope of our entire lives.. everything is connected. The women we are raised around, the things we are exposed to.... If a man wanted to treat me like a princess, I'd expect he'd not push the princess around... or I'd take that glass slipper and shove it up his... what were you saying? IP: Logged |
Saturn's Child Knowflake Posts: 867 From: Just left of center Registered: May 2004
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posted April 22, 2005 12:48 PM
Statistics can be skewed to "prove" almost anything. IP: Logged |
neptune's mermaid Knowflake Posts: 1069 From: Registered: Dec 2004
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posted April 22, 2005 12:50 PM
lol pixie. I was kinda worried cause I was raised on fairy tales. I agree Saturn's Child - they'll do anything to prove that they're right. IP: Logged |
pixelpixie Knowflake Posts: 5301 From: Ontario Canada Registered: Jun 2005
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posted April 22, 2005 12:51 PM
Yeah, you're real weak.. I can tell. *cough* yeahright *cough*IP: Logged |
pixelpixie Knowflake Posts: 5301 From: Ontario Canada Registered: Jun 2005
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posted April 22, 2005 12:53 PM
Fairy tales and folk tales have always been around.... we are fanciful storytellers by nature. We are all raised on tales.... like "If you do well in school I will get you that pony." "If you don't stop I'll let you out and you can walk home." "Yes, that man really is your father." Sorry, apparently the side effect to a skull numbing headache is incessant typing and silliness.IP: Logged |
neptune's mermaid Knowflake Posts: 1069 From: Registered: Dec 2004
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posted April 22, 2005 12:54 PM
I have a very cynical Moon that doesn’t take BS from any man but I wasn’t like that when I was little.
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neptune's mermaid Knowflake Posts: 1069 From: Registered: Dec 2004
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posted April 22, 2005 12:55 PM
"Yes, that man really is your father." You mean he’s not my dad!!!! IP: Logged |
neptune's mermaid Knowflake Posts: 1069 From: Registered: Dec 2004
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posted April 22, 2005 01:03 PM
Sorry Pixie...if you took it out of context. I was joking about my dad…cause he’s really not. But I know that, always have - but he raised me so he’s my dad. Plus I don’t know my biological farther.IP: Logged |
pixelpixie Knowflake Posts: 5301 From: Ontario Canada Registered: Jun 2005
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posted April 22, 2005 01:09 PM
It's cool..... I was making a stupid joke.. without context. Like 'the milkman' sort of thing. Fathers are what you make.. or rather, what THEY make. Action, not sperm donating. Whether it is a male friend, confidante, love, grandfather, fathers are in the heart. Point to the fairy tale is... If they big bad wolf is masquerading as a prince, I'll not blow him down to his chinny chin chin. IP: Logged |
neptune's mermaid Knowflake Posts: 1069 From: Registered: Dec 2004
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posted April 22, 2005 01:25 PM
I’m glad it’s cool. I felt REALLY bad. It was only after I read it, that I realised it didn’t sound like I was writing about myself.I didn’t think you would take it the wrong way - but I had a bad feeling telling me “what if”. this happens all the time. I’m surprised I have any friends lol. Yeah you’re right, about the farther part - I accepted that a long time ago, although it wasn’t easy. You shouldn’t pixie. He’s not much of a prince or a farther IP: Logged |
future_uncertain Knowflake Posts: 2681 From: ohio Registered: Aug 2004
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posted April 22, 2005 08:54 PM
But you know... maybe there is something to be said about the stories girls are raised on versus the stories on which boys are raised.Prince Charming, happily ever after???? How many of us ever wanted, even for a minute, to grow up to be beautiful princesses? If anything, it may set girls up to expect impossible things from relationships. Look at movies/stories for grown up girls. Same thing! (Jerry MacGuire?! First one to come to mind.) I'm not saying I agree or disagree. Linking it to violent relationships could just be a correlation between girls raised on these tales, and women who end up in violent relationships. And as we know, correlation does not imply causation. But, if women grow up expecting these things, even subconsciously, I can see how that line of thinking could contribute to the fact that too many women stick around in violent relationships. So what I'm saying is that I don't believe that fairy tales directly equal involvement in violent relationships. But if the former leads to erroneous thinking and the circumstances are bad, it could be part of the reason why so many women stay. Quick! Someone give me a poison apple so I can pass out until a handsome prince arrives! IP: Logged |
Philbird Knowflake Posts: 3396 From: Here, there and everywhere. Registered: Jun 2004
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posted April 22, 2005 10:55 PM
I did a college project on the meaning of the sing along, "Ring around the Rosie." The ryme as most kids sing it goes like this... Ring around the rosie, pocket full of posies, ashes, ashes we all fall down.They have no clue what they are saying! The correct translation of this is... A ring-a-ring-a rosie, pocket full of posies, achoo, achoo, we all fall down. This was created during the time of the black plague. A ring of rosies- the first stage, the rotting of flesh. Pocket full of posies- flowers and herbs were carried by the person to try and cover up the stench of rotting flesh. Achoo, achoo,- last stage before death was sneezing. We all fall down- death. I made a comparason between the plague and aids. PS, I wanted to be prince charming because HE got to ride the horse! Who the hell wants to ride in a squash??? IP: Logged |
Everlong Knowflake Posts: 931 From: Southeast Florida Registered: Nov 2003
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posted April 22, 2005 11:14 PM
I think that's stretching it a bit. Correlation doesn't always prove causation.IP: Logged |
Gia Knowflake Posts: 1154 From: California Registered: May 2004
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posted April 22, 2005 11:43 PM
I've never liked Cinderella. I keep thinking about how glass slippers break and cut up your feet. It's like a fur coat and no knickers tale. I guess I'm just weird. I found that fairy tale kind of scary, almost like that was not the happy ending everyone expected it to be. Gia IP: Logged |
Philbird Knowflake Posts: 3396 From: Here, there and everywhere. Registered: Jun 2004
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posted April 23, 2005 11:31 AM
"Correlation doesn't always prove causation." I'm not really sure what you mean Everlong, could you give an example?IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross Knowflake Posts: 7178 From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA Registered: Aug 2004
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posted April 23, 2005 12:11 PM
It's true, everything influences everything else, which is why we ought to be mindful of the myriad influences we exert, particularly over children.If girls imbued with a sentimental optimism (whether by nature or exposure to fairy tales) are more likely to overlook their lover's faults in later life, they are equally more likely to be the agents of positive change in their mates. Thats why its called faith. If faith were not blind, it would be reason. But, the fact that faith is blind does not negate its potential for effecting the highest good. On the contrary, where more "reasonable" people will consider their own interests first, looking always for someone of equal or higher affections, they will give love more selfishly, and only to those who need it least. We ought not to extinguish the idealism our storybooks inspire, but, rather, the cold-hearted self-interest of what passes for "realism" in this world. If, instead, we would allow our boys to cry, we would not consider teaching our girls to harden their hearts. , hsc IP: Logged |
Everlong Knowflake Posts: 931 From: Southeast Florida Registered: Nov 2003
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posted April 24, 2005 05:26 AM
The fact that there's a correlation between girls that read fairy tales and then them having violent relationships does not neccasarily mean that that's the cause of their violent relationships. What about all of the children that enjoy fairy tales and then go on to have normal relationships? There are many different factors, and I think a child would already have to have things like a poor sense of reality, maybe a shaky self-esteem, etc, for fairy tales to affect their adult relationships.IP: Logged |
BloodRedMoon Knowflake Posts: 932 From: somewhere out there Registered: Apr 2004
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posted April 24, 2005 11:28 PM
They must have been reading Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty.
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And I skate on a knife on a wire ~ That is strung from this song to a distant shore ~ And then I say Intuition is just another phase of chance While we're crawling through the old pyramid's floors (little pharaohs)
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Wednesday Knowflake Posts: 695 From: The big C... Canada :) Registered: Jul 2006
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posted September 08, 2006 02:31 PM
Eh... thank goodness my brother didn't raise me with fairytales.IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna Knowflake Posts: 4598 From: The Asylum Registered: Mar 2006
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posted September 08, 2006 05:40 PM
Ok, maybe this could be true in extreme cases but I how can this be the true cause of violent relationship patterns. They're so many other factors like Everlong said.IP: Logged |
Gooberzlostlovefound Knowflake Posts: 1205 From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake Registered: Jan 2002
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posted September 08, 2006 06:45 PM
HSC~ Are you implying that a girl in an abusive relationship should try to be an "agent of positive change" to her abusive partner?? That she should "have faith" and try to change his behavior? IP: Logged |