posted September 12, 2006 08:22 PM         

First of all, I was never struck in anger. Actually, I was never struck by my parents (I personally do not consider a spanking on the rear-end to be the same as being hit/struck, etc).

When I did something particularly naughty, I would be first sent to my room, usually with some ominous message about punishment.

What my parents were doing were actually giving themselves a time out.

When they had calmed down, one or both would come into my room quite calmly, sit down, and discuss with me what I had done wrong and why I was in trouble to make sure I understood. They wanted it to be clear WHY whatever it is I had done, was wrong.

Like for example, "you don't play with matches because you can hurt yourself, burn down the house, kill people accidentially, etc, we've told you before and yet here you are lighting the back yard on fire".

Then I was sometimes grounded, spanked, whatever. But when I was spanked it all seemed very...formal...there wasn't shouting and anger and stuff, it was just: 1) here's what you did wrong, 2) here is why it is wrong (usually involving danger to oneself or others), and then sometimes a spanking.

I don't feel at all that I was abused, not by my parents anyway (it was my older brother who used to terrorize me), and I feel that they exibited prudent and reasonable use of spankings.

Spankings were reserved for those times when you've been told repeatedly about something and do it anyway.

I was never spanked in anger, and I was never spanked anywhere but on the butt. It taught me that there are consequences for one's actions, and that those consequences often suck.

I personally make a huge distinction between the way I was spanked and the way I see a lot of kids get spanked, ie; out of anger, usually in a reactionary manner, with little or no explination as to WHY what they did wrong is bad - usually it's because our parents love us and don't want bad things to happen to us.

Which IMHO is why Moonwhitch's son, in spite of being spanked, still thinks his mom is nice.

I agree that the personality of the child should be taken into account as well, I wouldn't advocate spanking as a wholesale solution for everyone - if not spanking your child works for you/your particular child, then great.

I also personally believe that hitting/spanking/whatever in anger is bad, whether you're hitting a child or an adult.

Hitting in self-defense is one thing, but when one spanks/hits their child in anger, IMO that is where they learn NOT so much that violence solves problems, but rather that it's ok to lash out when one is angry. IMHO, THAT is what leads to an adult who thinks it's ok to lash out at others when they're angry and use violence to get their way. I personally don't think it's merely the act of spanking in and of itself that causes the long-term issues for the child.

posted September 12, 2006 09:25 PM         

I was spanked a few times by my mother when I was a kid. I didn't hate her, didn't fear her and didn't resent her. In fact, I always remember knowing that I had screwed up in a really big way. Like the time I was supposed to be watching my little brother who was still in diapers and she found him running down the road, diaper falling off, arms flappin' in the breeze. She is one of my best friends in the world and a fantastic, brilliant mother.

I'm sorry to all of you that suffered real abuse emotionally and physically.

I just feel the world is not so black and white as people make it out to be.

posted September 17, 2006 02:58 PM         

I don't care about authority. Half of them are just doing their job to the best of their ability but the other half have real issues and do not belong in a job that requires heavy stress and social interaction.

*sighs*

Anyway, I went through so much in schools with my peers that I feel like I could never become a teacher. As far as I am concerned, every child ages 8 and up is either a potential bully or victim. They're little Machiavellian monsters. If I were a teacher, I would write a note to every parent on the first day saying, "I expect you, as a parent, to instill values and the meaning of wrong and right into your child. If I catch your child teasing another student, he is going into detention. I know that sometimes children are provoked and the provocatuer is not caught. Therefore, both parties will be in detention, for all of recess and/or one gym period. If I catch either one loooking at the other, they will have detention all week long."

My other idea is a National Juvenile Flogging Day, wherein every child between the ages of 8-12 is lined up and flogged in the streets.

I think the former is the better option.

I would make so many friends. LOL.

I work for myself. Life is better that way.

posted September 17, 2006 07:33 PM         

quote:

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My other idea is a National Juvenile Flogging Day, wherein every child between the ages of 8-12 is lined up and flogged in the streets.

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You see, thats one thing I'm totally against. That to me is very senseless. My father went to school when teachers were allowed to discipline children in that fashion. He recalls a time where he got in trouble for something he didn't do and he severely punished. He even remembers having welts from it.

posted September 17, 2006 09:41 PM         

What parents don't realize is...
A child that will tease another in front of you, is doing much crueler things in school when you're not looking. Parents think their little brats are cute and then wonder how come some other kid hit, or attempted to hit their child.

I say either make every student responsible for the actions of their peers and themselves, or pay attention.

Having cameras and recorders in classrooms, hallways and schoolyards would help this, but then the schools would be held liable. And we know they want to C.Y.A. as much as possible.

posted September 22, 2006 06:28 AM           

I have just received a phone call from my father, who was sobbing.

He said to me "I have to talk to someone...I had a dream'. He then went onto explain how in his dream, my mother was giving out because we had been on holiday and when we got back to our home the gas fire was left on. She blamed me, and he smacked me..

I asked him why he was upset, and he said "because I smacked you". I soothed him and told him what a lovely humble man he was and how grateful i was for his honesty.

Then I said "Dad can I ask you something"...he said "yes"...I asked "do you think its bad to smack a child" and he replied "yes I think its bad to smack a little girl"..I knew what he was trying to say.

Oh my.....he is still apologising for something that he did over 40 years ago...

What a lucky woman I am to have such a compassionate father...who dares to admit he was in the wrong....

Bless him for his humility I love him.