posted June 27, 2005 02:04 PM         

Hope you had a great birthday and celebrated for a whole week.

I think about you often, even if I don't agree with or understand the choices you have made lately. I feel upset that you were beat up at **** ****, for no one should be treated like that, no matter what they may have done. And yet life is nothing close to the homes we grow up in, as there are always consequences for our actions, good and bad, and no one is as lenient as our parents, nor as forgiving. I guess I always wondered if you realized that or not. I've had my own doses of reality lately too, different I'm sure than yours, but there has been nothing easy about it. I've come to realize I expect too much of people, for I give more to my friends sometimes than they are capable or willing to return. It really hurts to be let down by people yet again, especially since every time a friend ignores me for a long period of time and gives no indication that they care about the friendship, I feel abandoned. It just starts to feel like everyone I love and care about leaves me, and I get frusterated and hurt by their rejection, intentional or not. I guess I've been feeling that way about our friendship recently. I've only heard from you twice in the last 9 months, and one of those times was somewhat accidental, as we were visiting your family and you and I spoke briefly over the phone. The other was a nice letter I received in February. I was really confused too when you asked for my phone number twice, and then never called, or gave me a number if you wanted me to call you, cause I would have in a heartbeat. I really enjoy talking with you, about almost anything and that's what I've always liked most about being friends with you, along with the fact that we've both been pretty honest with each other. Even when we fight, it's over pretty quickly, usually after we've both sulked long enough.

I admit that even if I was fairly relieved that you didn't go into the military, I also knew how disappointed you were about it. I was excited about the idea of you being in **** ***** because it would give you some very marketable skills. Since you left it, I guess I'm just basically worried for you, knowing you want to live comfortably in the future, and wondering how many options are left out there that will enable you to reach that goal. It's not that I'm trying to be judgemental, it's mainly that I am concerned about the uncertainty because I care about you and haven't stopped even when I get mad at you.
(to be continuted...)

posted July 01, 2005 04:50 PM         

I hope we haven't grown too much apart that we don't share common ground and interests anymore.

You've always been a cool guy and I've been proud to consider you my friend.

Please let me know what's going on and what you feel about what I've said here in this letter. I'm on Orlando, FL right now, so my address is:
{insert current address}
your best friend,
Kathleen
(aka Katy)

posted July 02, 2005 11:23 AM         

I've been writing very spareingly lately (3-5 poems in almost 6 weeks), I'm not sure why, perhaps because I've been so exhausted in all aspects from my job at Disney...but I can't seem to get a certain Scorpio guy from my past, who's kinda resurfaced, off my mind, and that has been taking up energy too, wondering why we were able to reconnect, and if I can make him a friend like I've always wanted to do. The other half of the time has been rethinking what I would say to Tony, the Gemmy of this letter, as if he doesn't make some sort of response, I'm going to cut ties for now, and give him no more energy.

I'll post the poems when I get a chance, hopefully soon, and thanks for the grammar pointer.
Love and Light,