posted August 16, 2005 12:19 PM         

But it's an important piece of paper because it creates a bond.. or reinforces an already existent bond between two people..and if the bond is special, based on love and trust..it gives the piece of paper more meaning.

Did that make sense?

If it didn't..I'm 19 that's my excuse. Ask me in my 30s when I've experienced it lol

posted August 16, 2005 01:43 PM         

If I am perfectly honest I would prefer to be the lover than the wife, to live together rather than be married, but I do believe marriage is a good thing for children, maybe not so much these days, but long ago it was expected I suppose! It probably gives a sense of security to the child.......maybe.....

I love the IDEA of marriage, it can be a great institution, but how many of us are really fond of living in institutions LOL!!

The worst part of it to me is the day in day out stuff the "domestic bliss", the predictablity, the best part and to me this is SO important, is having someone to love and receive that back and to trust with your life - and I do in this marriage...............but having said that it is bloody hard work, and now we have a child, that has really put my feet firmly on the ground, no running away now............thanks God, that is the best thing you ever did for me LOL!!

Ask my again in a few months time and I would bet that my answer will be different, coz that is how marriage is, it changes like the seasons, sometimes you love it and sometimes you hate the tedium of it.

posted August 16, 2005 02:09 PM         

All I know for now, is that there are people who are "married" but don't really have a "marriage." Married feels ~ sounds ~ like a noun to describe the outside to the rest of the world, and marriage feels ~ sounds ~ like a verb to describe the insides between people.

Like I said, it's just a little tidbit for now. Not a hardcore, overly analyzed philosophy ingrained in my thinking.

posted August 17, 2005 03:15 AM         

And WELCOME!!!

I love what you wrote, very moving and oh so TRUE. Maybe that is why I ran away from two of my marriages, cos I wasnt ready to learn about myself.........and now I am !!!

Thanks for your words, are you female or male?

Love to all

posted August 17, 2005 07:33 PM         

I have heard of marriages out there lasting 20 years where everything was perfect then all of a sudden the husband's really gay.

Or

Marriages that have lasted 60 years when out of nowhere one day....her husband puts a bullet thrugh her head.
------------------
Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

"You must live in the infinite blackness that exists when I close my eyes. I see you when I fall asleep, I see you when I dream."

posted August 17, 2005 10:46 PM         

This untrusting Capricorn will likely only marry once supposedly, but I have to watch for the tendency to be a savior or to be the saved, which is really confusing considering that I'm supposed to be better off financially once I'm married.

posted August 18, 2005 11:04 AM         

Having reached my mid forties I am just about ready to stay with one person - how can anyone promise at the tender age of 20/25 to stay with one person for the rest of their lives - says she who has been there no less than 3 times!! I talk from experience - oh dear tell me about it!!

Sorry to be cynical guys, but it is such a tough promise to keep when we are younger and have lots of growing up/exploring to do, in a way I thank God for divorce - at least then we can walk away and not be stuck in a desparately unahappy situation.

Even Ireland now allows their folk the right to choose - at long last (at it was only 10 years ago that birth conrol was brought in here - I know unreal isnt it)?

Maybe I was always immature/too free spirited in my youth (still am the second one), but I know at times I felt suffocated and now I FEEL FREE!! For me it was definatley an age thing - finding myself before I could settle with another!

Good luck to all who "take the plunge"

Love

posted August 20, 2005 07:31 AM         

It's not just aspects of the relationship, it's all the domestic chores, routine, "responsibility", expectations, etc. If you don't like all that sort of stuff, then don't get married (or cohabit).

LOL

posted August 20, 2005 09:14 AM         

Have your started the divorce, have you managed to get yourself free of Mr.Aqua yet. I wish you all the best girl, its hard and trying, but you will in the end benefit from your decision.

Love

posted August 20, 2005 01:08 PM         

I'm moving out in less than a month, and will start divorce proceedings soon after. (Jeez, it's all happening so quickly!!!!!) I'm also trying to find a job etc. and finishing up various things at the same time. Exciting times!! I feel as if I'm being catapulted into the unknown.

Definetely don't get married if you have ANY doubts at the back of your mind about you intended, would be my advice. There were actually a lot of things about Mr. Aqua that were wrong when we were dating, but I closed my eyes and went ahead anyway. Brides-to-be - if you have that feeling - don't do it!!

posted August 22, 2005 12:43 AM         

Well I totally believe in marriage. Especially if I want to have children. I dont believe any man can complete me though, I am complete already, so it is two people who love each merging to create two wholes. It is more than a piece of paper for sure.

I have had lots of good role models around me in my life time (not my own parents) but other family members and friends etc who have helped me over come any fears about marriage and all it entails.

As yet i havent met the person i could imagine spending my life with but i'm not as scared as i once was.

posted August 22, 2005 05:14 AM         

quote:

---

I am complete already, so it is two people who love each merging to create two wholes.

---

I like that and agree with it, but I see it as the definition of a great relationship. What I meant by marriage being a piece of paper is that literally it's a contract that both you and your spouse sign, declaring you married.

I don't personally see the difference between a relationship between two people, with or without that piece of paper. I think what makes the relationship, is their feelings, the trust, the love, the care. The paper in itself is a legal reinforcement of that, a guarantee for yourselves, your famillies, your friends and the rest of society that you are in fact together and IT IS serious. I believe that some people (mainly girls) see it as a shelter against infidelity.. something that binds the two people together.. but REALLY shouldn't they already be bound before they take that step? shouldn't they already trust that they are faithful to each other? Why is there a need for the piece of paper to reinforce that?

I know we live in a society and we have rules.. and that's probably the main reason for marriage. Also, the main reason I WANT to and will get married before I have kids. I think it's important for kids to be brought up in a familly, where they have both their parents there..and it's legalised - purely due to the way society sees it. But from a personal point of view I don't think it would make any difference in my mind and heart, whether or not I have that piece of paper.