posted August 28, 2005 03:01 PM         

I agree with you entirely about my sister, she is and always has been in denial, she admits it, which I find courageous. Yes she has fears around her own sanity, more so than I would (I KNOW i am mad LOL), well I think they call it eccentric these days dont they ha ha

She judges others for what she sees in her self, if you get my drift......but then again dont we all at times?

But you are right what you say, it is quite sad isnt it, I feel for her, but she wont open up so I suppose, I just have to wait!!!!

I met a very good psychic a few years ago who took hold of her photograph, he said "I could go on about this one all day, but just one thing........you will tell her something and she will come back to you in 20 years time with a oh you may have been right".

Aaahhh such is life hey?

Thanks for posting and enjoy your stay here !!

xx

posted August 28, 2005 03:13 PM         

I'm sad that you entertained suicidal thoughts all that time ago. Sad that you had to feel that way... But I bet you learned a lot from the experience.

Selfishness can probably be a symptom of depression... but everyone's depression affects them differently. Another person may be entirely too selfless while depressed. Maybe they're a doormat. I agree with what Pix Pix said way back a while ago... "Depression is as real as happiness. How can it be defined?" I do know one thing... that a depressed person is not a sadistic attention seeker. I don't remember who said that... but it's the most idiotic statement I thik I've ever heard!

Other people's opinions are worth exactly what you pay for them... Nothing. Your sister's opinion is just her opinion. It doesn't have to be yours.

Siblings have a funny way about lashing out at each other. I am constantly after my daughters to speak to each other with kindness. I was more like a mother to my siblings, so I don't really understand why they do it, or where it comes from... but I see it almost every day.

posted August 28, 2005 03:20 PM         

LOve

posted August 29, 2005 04:46 AM         

Please explain your response...........

posted August 29, 2005 06:24 PM         

"hmmmm" means I'll give it some thought.

posted August 30, 2005 03:44 AM         

Oooohh I love the "young" lady bit, thank you darling!!!!

Analysing..... who me....... errrr ........probably LOL. No just interested to learn thats all, one of the reasons I always get on with my own sign is cos I always feel that innate sensitivity coming from them.........its like a mirroring for me......so you are the exception and I am intrigued......thats all.

Hope you are fine and dandy!!!!

LOve to all

posted August 30, 2005 08:41 PM         

For example, I have a VERY narcissistic friend that loves to prey on others emotions because it then turns back to HIM. He is the center of his universe. If he does NOT get that attention (The 'Oh I understand life is so hard for you now. What can I do to make you feel better...shall we talk for another 3 hours about how you are obsessing on whether you should have sent your ex an e-mail or not?)

He doesn't exhibit the real symptoms of depression (like what I watched my mother endure after my father left her for another woman or when my beloved grandmother died). She didn't try to extort feelings of pity from us - she just ceased to really exist as she once was - she became a SHELL.

Instead, he calls me five times a day (it's getting better because I WON'T answer) and e-mails me more often. He can't get passed his own world to see anything around him. He ended a relationship because he had certain addictions and basically wouldn't consider his girlfriends feelings at all- so she left him. Now he wonders why, and wonders if he should take medication (which he IS but it ISN'T helping because he is NOT depressed).

He even told me before a business trip "If you notice that I am becoming more withdrawn and I seem suicidal, please help me okay because I am going to start my depression medication when I go on the trip"

I was ANGRY!!!! How dare he put that on me (we were hardly friends at the time but colleagues). Even now, when he talks about addressing his ex in an e-mail he blames almost all of his problems and feelings of hopelessness on HER.

So that is where some people get extremely objectional to the word "depressed". Unfortunately there are people in the world that will use a term like that in order to make you feel sorry for them and pay attention to them.

It makes the people dealing with real heartfelt issues look like nut cases or people stereotype them. It's sad really

I am fortunate in that I deal with things differently. I have been through a very similiar situation as lotus in the past, but I became more adament about NOT letting it hurt me (yet it was such a horrid time is my life). I COULDN'T be depressed or my father would know something happened and would have killed the person.

For me, when I get that black feeling I just go to sleep and let my mind wander to better things. Or I embrace the pain, I face it and then move on. Sometimes it take doing it many times in a row before I feel remotely better LOL.....

We all have different ways of dealing with things- no one is really wrong unless they are using it to steal another person's goodwill.

posted August 30, 2005 09:23 PM         

In my heart of hearts, I don’t think depression has its root in selfishness. I think depression from a very sad and wounded part of our hearts. I think depression can be a bit like an infection. We are wounded (sometimes years before) deep inside our hearts, and an infection sets in. Every few years it will bubble up to the surface until we deal with the hurt that initially caused our wounding. I know the majority of my depressions (both serious and minor) can be attributed to old wounds and unresolved issues from a harsh childhood.

This being said, I think depressed people can choose to act selfishly. They can use others to make themselves feel better. If a person is prone to selfishness, depression will lower their restrictions on themselves and make it possible for them to be very selfish indeed. I’ve seen this in action and it made me very very sad. When I’m depressed I tend to completely withdraw from people because I don’t want to drag them down. This isn’t necessarily a healthy thing either, but the folks that use depression as an excuse to manipulate everyone around them into making them feel better about themselves would do well to actually think about the people around them instead of about their own pain alone. No matter how far we fall, it’s important to remember that we share this world with other people, and the thoughts and feelings of those people should never stop being important to us.

posted August 30, 2005 10:54 PM         

I can see that you have had many different facets of your life affected with such issues and much care was taken to understand and feel what may be going on inside and outside, and around us. You have a keen sense of s-elf and thats very refreshing of you.

Thanks and keep feeling the way you do, its very uplifting to me!!!

posted August 31, 2005 04:16 AM         

Isoleade, vey well written, yes my sister is a very bitter person, I feel she finds it hard to open up her heart......I fear for her at times.....but that is her path.

She told me once that she found it repulsive that our Dad had a breakdown years ago, he is having another at the moment. I cannot help but feel breakdowns are good, or breakthroughs as they are now called. I am communicating better with him now he is "real" and having stripped away the facade, inflated ego, he is a joy to know. His sadness moves me.....I love him for it.....I have been there.......I empathise!!

Thanks guys for your input.

Love to all

posted August 31, 2005 04:52 AM         

I was depressed for a few monthes a couple years ago and, I have to say, it is entirely real. It's like getting stuck in a thought that you can't let go until your brain chemistry changes to suit your depression. The depression becomes the norm. I don't think anyone who has been through depression thinks it is selfish at all and would, in fact, get rid of it in a minute.

My Aqua man thought I was making it up which just made it worse...In the end, I started to change my thoughts and got rid of the depression, but I can see how hard it would be for someone with chronic depression to get rid of it. Sympathy not indifference is needed...

posted August 31, 2005 01:20 PM         

Maybe your sister is feeling repulsed because as a Leo (and most fire signs) we have a hard time dealing with a loss of control. We try so hard to work ourselves out of that hole, that we can't always understand why a person stays there. Sometimes we just don't "get it".

Also, being action oriented, we have a hard time with the fact that "we cannot help" the person. A fire sign is about helping, fixing, doing what we can to cheer them up.

A depressed fire sign is one of the worst people one can ever encounter. I wonder if we did a study on hopelessness / depression vs suicide by sign if we would see that the fire signs go from depression to suicide more quickly than signs that embrace the understanding of depression?

Does that make sense? Maybe ask your sister how she would deal with various issues or why she feels repulsed when your father has a breakdown. It sounds to me that there is a deeper issue that she is facing that no one can understand.

Just as many here are asking for empathy towards those that are depressed, how about looking into the pysche, with compassion, for those that are adverse to those feelings?

A side story about getting someone "stoic" to open up.

A man was in a horrific car accident and died while his family was at the hospital. His 12 year old son would not show emotions, instead he stood there with his arms crossed while everyone else cried. The Chaplain asked him "Are you okay, are you feeling anything right now".

He said defiantly "I am FINE! Everything is FINE!"

So then she said "Would you please tell me a story about your dad?"

He thought for a while... then his eyes welled up with tears and he let loose of all of his emotions.

posted August 31, 2005 01:32 PM         

I'm Sparkle Gina Gemini...
...I love to chat when I'm bored.

I'm adaptable and witty.

And quite a live wire if ignored!

2= GEMINI

22nd May - 21st June

Gemini's know everything.

posted September 03, 2005 04:47 AM         

You are a deeply beautiful person too by the way you write.....what is your chart like, is there much water?

When we say sensitive, people often take it that we are too needy or weak or something........a medium said to me years ago "Sue you are VERY sensitive" "Too much so" replied I......no no girl, I mean you are mediumistic......intersting hey? Makes sense I suppose, to be psychic, we have to feel on a very deep level....

Thanks for writing.........felt your words

Love