posted November 20, 2005 03:13 AM         

How did I deal with the hurt, prayer, healing, talking to friends, and having faith that it was the right thing for me.

I almost allowed love to kill me in the past.....so intense was my desire to connect with another, it was at times my downfall......and now....through time and experience, I have learned to allow positive and good love into my life. No more destructive or abusive love for me.

Good luck to you and sending love

posted November 20, 2005 08:29 AM         

Love and Light to you, Sweetlibra!

I am no good for advice on this subject.

posted November 21, 2005 12:43 AM         

I'm telling you, if you want to get rid of a guy, get angry. Just get seriously p*ssed off. Tell yourself you're better than this, you deserve better and it ends today.

Chances are you're already plenty angry if this relationship has hurt you, so just let yourself feel that anger. Anger is a great motivator and can help you stick to making tough decisions.

You don't have to get nasty with the other person - you just has to start looking out for yourself. You can't let yourself think twice about that. If this has been a bad raltionship, you'r entitled to get angry and get your life back. Once you get in touch with your anger, channel it into positive changes for yourself rather than hostility or further destructive behavior.

posted November 28, 2005 12:04 AM         

sexual attraction is lust and lust is not love. Lust is short-lived and has an expiry date.

The best advice I can give you is from the card notes that accompany The Lovers card in the Osho Zen tarot:

VI The Lovers

These three things are to be taken note of: the lowest love is sex - it is physical - and the highest refinement of love is compassion. Sex is below love, compassion is above love; love is exactly in the middle.

Very few people know what love is. Ninety-nine percent of people, unfortunately, think sexuality is love - it is not. Sexuality is very animal; it certainly has the potential of growing into love, but it is not actual love, only a potential....

If you become aware and alert, meditative, then sex can be transformed into love. And if your meditativeness becomes total, absolute, love can be transformed into compassion. Sex is the seed, love is the flower, compassion is the fragrance.

Buddha has defined compassion as love plus meditation. When your love is not just a desire for the other, when your love is not only a need, when your love is a sharing, when your love is not that of a beggar but an emperor, when your love is not asking for something in return but is ready only to give - to give for the sheer joy of giving - then add meditation to it and the pure fragrance is released. That is compassion; compassion is the highest phenomenon.

Commentary:
What we call love is really a whole spectrum of relating, reaching from the earth to the sky. At the most earthy level, love is sexual attraction. Many of us remain stuck there, because our conditioning has burdened our sexuality with all kinds of expectations and repressions. Actually the biggest "problem" with sexual love is that it never lasts. Only if we accept this fact can we then really celebrate it for what it is - welcome its happening, and say good-bye with gratitude when it's not.

Then, as we mature, we can begin to experience the love that exists beyond sexuality and honors the unique individuality of the other. We begin to understand that our partner often functions as a mirror, reflecting unseen aspects of our deeper self and supporting us to become whole.

This love is based in freedom, not expectation or need. Its wings take us higher and higher towards the universal love that experiences all as one.

posted November 28, 2005 04:16 AM         

1)Am I afraid in this relationship? If yes...cut and run. Don't answer phone, don't acknowledge. 1 Month without contact and it is all over.

2)Have I lost myself in this relationship? Is that little spark that is me hidden? If yes, examine if it because of your partner or yourself. Does your partner constantly criticize those aspects of yourself that YOU enjoy---your little idiosyncracies? Or do you, yourself, supress them because you are afraid your partner might not like them.

If you feel it is your partner, bring it up and have the debate. If it doesn't work out or nothing changes, at least you tried and the break-off is easier.

If it is you, bring YOU out. If you are not loved for YOU then at least you tried and the break-off is easier.

posted November 28, 2005 05:16 AM         

1. Am I afraid in this relationship?
YES (getting ready to run. Planning to get another apartment)