posted February 02, 2006 01:49 AM         

Here's the story, if you care to hear it. It's long and not very nice, so be warned...

During the winter of last year, my dad became increasingly more abusive - living with him was an absolute hell. He had always been bad, but that winter was the worst he'd ever been. I don't want to go into it all, but it was a mess. It came to a head at the end of last January, when my mother finally called the police for the first time after a particulary horrible night. My father was arrested, and, except when he came to pick up a few personal effects with a police escort, he's not been back since.

After he was gone, my mother filed for a divorce, and all was fine for a couple of months. Then, my mom started getting (very violent) death-threats over the phone at the chiropractor's office where she worked as a secretary. - her co-workers picked up the first couple of calls, and they IDed my dad's voice when he was arrested. He was jailed for the night and a trial was scheduled for sometime this March. But the calls didn't stop - they kept coming and coming, but now the caller was careful to disguise his voice. Then there were break-ins at the office, with threatening messages (all directed specifically at my mother) left on the computer's screensavers. Money was stolen from the cash-box, windows were broken. But my dad wasn't arrested on any of these, because the police didn't have enough evidence to prosecute him, they said.

But wait, it gets worse. After a few weeks of this, with the fairly constant
police presence at her office ruining business, my mother was fired from her job under a ridiculous pretence that she wasn't performing satisfactorily (trust me, it was absurd - they had given a raise based on her performance just a few weeks before). Amazingly, though, my mom, who had been looking out for a new job in case this happened, got a call that very day telling her that she had been accepted at another medical office (which actually paid better, too) - so she didn't fight her illlegal termination. (I guess it's illegal to fire someone for being a victim of domestic abuse in Colorado)

Because of this, there was no lapse in time between when my mother left her old job and started working at her new one. My dad apparently assumed that she was still working there and kept up the pressure, calling up the schools where the other employee's children attend and making death threats on *them*. The police take this very seriously indeed - tracing the calls to Oregon, where, it turns out, my dad is living! (There was even an article in the paper on this) Of course, he denies everything, and since there is no real proof, he wasn't arrested.

The death threats to my mother at this chiropractic office where she no longer works have continued right up until now, but now they are more and more often directed at my mom's former co-workers, who have agreed to testify at the divorce proceeding tomorrow. My dad went so far as to break into and trash the home of one of these co-workers - the police have no proof of this, but even they admit they know it was him. Just yesterday, he called this office and warned my mom's former coworkers to "Be nice" in the upcoming divorce trial.

So now tomorrow their divorce will finally be made official, and I am going to be testifying as to how awful this guy really is. I don't really think he is going to win - there will be a "Child and Family Investigator" testifying on my mother's behalf who wrote an eight page report on all of this, and, according to my mom's attorney, these things carry a lot of weight in court. Also, the sheriff investigating the whole affair with the death threats and the break-ins will be testifying on our side as well. But here's the thing - my dad has brought practically his entire family here from out of state to testify on his behalf. These people are entirely fooled by him, and apparently believe that *I* was the one making all the threatening phone-calls and break-ins on behalf of my mother - in order to frame my father!! They are going to do all they can to see that my dad gets everything. God, I feel such hatred for them I can't even describe it.

So, if you can spare a prayer, well, it'd be great. I'm trying not to worry about this, but it has a way of weighing on one's mind, I guess.

posted February 02, 2006 10:35 AM         

I understand.
My mother is like that.
Very scary....

Just tell the absolute truth no matter what.

posted February 02, 2006 11:43 AM         

I too have a crazy abusive father that my mother had to divorce...time does feel most of the wounds. He will get what he deserves...they all do!

As a piece of advice...forgive but never forget so that you never have to go through this again!

posted February 02, 2006 05:06 PM         

The Universe has a way of balancing itself. You will do/have done what is right for you, your mom and your siblings today. There's nothing more we can do than our best, at whatever we believe in.

I've had my own adventures with abuse and the police/courts -- one of the worst experiences I ever endured. But I prevailed, and so will you. You have bunches of personal courage, and you and your family and your mom's coworkers have my respect and admiration for your efforts to take down this monster clothed in human flesh, at a cost of possible personal harm.

posted February 02, 2006 07:28 PM         

Love to you

posted February 02, 2006 11:10 PM         

Heh, BlueTopaz, from what I hear, he's a ways away from Portland, so don't worry! Thanks for the kind words, by the way.

posted February 03, 2006 01:07 AM         

Great to hear Johnny....much love to you!