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Author
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Topic: Confused and Lonely Rant (Warning: sad and bitter words)
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Virgo-AriesArtist
Knowflake Posts: 1409
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001
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posted March 27, 2006 05:18 PM
 
**EDIT**------------------
-K
"...poetry is the subtle alchemy of a sensitive soul like hell it is poetry is what squeezes out of you
when you've been squashed by Life, like a bug" ~Gooberz IP: Logged |
leo_on_fire
Knowflake Posts: 422
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted March 27, 2006 05:46 PM
 ------------------
Live your life without regret, don't be someone they forget. Your heart is not yours to keep, it's yours to give... Unknown IP: Logged |
leo_on_fire
Knowflake Posts: 422
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted March 27, 2006 05:46 PM
IP: Logged |
CancerianMoon
Knowflake Posts: 1082
From: Sydney, Australia. Cancer Sun.....Gemini Moon.....Aqua Rising
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted March 27, 2006 06:26 PM
I feel you VAA and i wish you all the strength and courage and love to pass through this chapter in your life..
BIG HUGS!!
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Aries Fire
Knowflake Posts: 6
From: williamston, mi Usa
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted March 27, 2006 07:23 PM
I can't believe you have just told my story. I have been in this relationship for a year now and can't let go, he treats me awful. I know it is about self love, but do I love that man. When we are together it is wonderful. I wish there was some magic answer. I wish you all the luck, for you and me.IP: Logged |
shop22much
Knowflake Posts: 970
From: you said hello
Registered: Apr 2005
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posted March 27, 2006 09:11 PM
another virgo/aries/leo infuenced chick here as well....
i know how you feel..the first man I really fell for HARD, was an aquarius sun/gemini moon......its so hard how they keep the distance, then out of nowhere...appear...i remember you saying you have a leo venus.....we need constant attention, we need to feel needed, i think being attracted to these air men is interesting, like we have some sort of emotional death wish..when you said "I either love people or they mean nothing" i felt those words, i know where youre coming from..its hard to let go because once you do..theres really no going back..once hurt, all is cut off.i think its hard to ignite a virgo sun no matter what so once we start..its hard to blow out the flames....it seems to me my problem in relationships have always been and probably always will be im a "all or nothing" sort....i feel for you hun  IP: Logged |
sweetlibra
Knowflake Posts: 1382
From:
Registered: Oct 2004
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posted March 27, 2006 10:54 PM
VAA, this is the way I lived with my Aries/Libra/Virgo(Asc) ex for 3.5 years.
Then with another Sag/virgo/Virgo for 1 year.
Infact I can copy your email and send it to any of them!!!
love and hugs from a one who has been there.------------------
Libra Sun/Mercury, Aqua Moon, Scoprio Venus/Mars, Taurus Asc IP: Logged |
Virgo-AriesArtist
Knowflake Posts: 1409
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001
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posted March 30, 2006 11:14 AM
Thank you so much, everyone, from the bottom of my heart. The empathy has helped my cope with the pain...leo_on_fire...thanks for the compassion hearts CancerianMoon...your hugs made me smile, and I appreicate the wish of strength...lord knows I need it. ::hugs:: to you back! Aries Fire...wow, another lonely and confused soul like myself...I know what you mean about a magic answer...there can be none and yet listening to my heart can lead my in circles some days...Best wishes to you too. shop22much...yes, Leo Venus...wants to be constantly loved and adored, I know it's hard for some to handle, but we are worth it. We give with our entire being, and we would be there for our loved one in a heartbeat if they wanted. We are passionate and affectionate, sentimental and insecure, but warm, so warm for love. Emotional death wish...hmmm...interesting way to put it. Yep, it takes much patience and show of stability to heat a Virgo up, and then ages to cool us down. "All of nothing" is the the only way I can live, I've tried other modes of caring and they just leave me cold. It's nice to know you have been there too, and I send much  and hope your way... sweetlibra, Your love and hugs brightens my day. Thank you...  I have decided to let him go, because right now I need to focus on me...and with the solar eclipse AND new moon happening in my first house, It's All About Me, or it should be at least right now. I need to get back in touch with what makes me live life fully, and he does not contribute to my sense of well-being. I love him and miss him more than words can say, but he has shut me out, and I must live with that. "They say if you love something, let it go..." ------------------
-K
"...poetry is the subtle alchemy of a sensitive soul like hell it is poetry is what squeezes out of you
when you've been squashed by Life, like a bug" ~Gooberz IP: Logged |
CancerianMoon
Knowflake Posts: 1082
From: Sydney, Australia. Cancer Sun.....Gemini Moon.....Aqua Rising
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted March 30, 2006 04:27 PM
from another Venus in LeoIP: Logged |
Virgo-AriesArtist
Knowflake Posts: 1409
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001
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posted March 31, 2006 03:52 PM
Ok, since I am still wandering and thinking of him so darn often, I decided to write him a nice old-fashioned snail-mail letter and I'm going to send it:Dear Brian,
Wow, it's been exactly four weeks since I got on that plane bound for New York, and headed back to my college life. I have some amazing memories and moments I'll never forget. I'll never forget the walk we took down that trail, past the old train tunnel, and down to the beach...and how it felt to hold you close as we leaned against the wall. I'll never forget meeting your family, and talking to your mom, older sister, nephew and niece..seeing Shrek 2, and driving around where you grew up...it was all so sweet. I'll never forget seeing your University, or that beach that's located nearby...I'll never forget holding your hand, no matter where we were, and how warm it made me feel, I'll never forget the bakery where we ate each morning, or that delicious pineapple soda. I'll never forget that last night on the beach at Javi's compex, watching the starsm drinking rum, and you holding me with your arms wrapped around my waist. I'll never forget laying next to you at the hostel, and never wanting to let you go...I'll never forget how good you smelled every morning when you came to pick me up. I'll never forget how amazing you looked that first day I arrived at the airport, all dressed up, but grinning from ear to ear. Everywhere I go I think of you, and miss you with all my heart. I love you and only want the best for you in every way. I wish you peace with your life, and if I would wave a magic wand or sprinkle some of Tinkerbell's pixie dust and make your life just the way you want it, I would do it in a heartbeat, but I can't. I know you have to find your own path to happiness, the same way I am finding my own. I just wish I understoodwhy you have cut me off an stopped talking in any way to me...I really don't know why. Did I say or do something wrong? I can't figure it out and believe me, I've tried. Please just let me know. I am truly sorry if I have hurt or offended you in any way, for that was never my intention. You are a very important person to me. If there is anything bothering you, know that no matter what, I am always here, to talk, to listen, whatever you need, Brian. I feel like I've lost you and I don't want to do that. If I didn't say it clearly enough before, let me say it now, thank you for making my trip so incredible in every way you could. I am very grateful. Write back if you get the chance.
Love,
Kathleen
Te amo mucho ------------------
-K
"...poetry is the subtle alchemy of a sensitive soul like hell it is poetry is what squeezes out of you
when you've been squashed by Life, like a bug" ~Gooberz IP: Logged |
lioneye68
Knowflake Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003
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posted March 31, 2006 04:11 PM
Sweetie, I know how you're feeling - but honestly, I wouldn't even bother sending that. You gotta read "He's just not that into you", before you waste another heart flutter on some insincere bozo. I know how disappointing love can be - we have to protect ourselves from this kind of b.s., because guys will NEVER TELL YOU that they're "just not that into you" - at least not with words. They'll just play games or ignore you until you've absolutely had it with them!  So, I guess in their own way, they ARE telling you. So believe them, the first time. (ps - did you realize you wrote " I wish you peace with your LIE" ??? Freudian slip? Subconscious jab? lol - cute.)
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amisha121877
Knowflake Posts: 1248
From: Tri-State, USA
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted March 31, 2006 04:22 PM
really VAA, I agree. don't send him nothing (lol, i was about to say sh*t).
he does not deserve you or your beautiful words.watch him try to talk to you again IF you ignore him - mind, body, and soul. maybe that's how he thinks it work - the more you ignore a person, the more they will love you. I KNOW you know you deserve better than that. don't hang on to brian and inherit his uncouth behavior because that is what might happen if you keep pining for him. i think you are fine exactly who and how you are. IP: Logged |
Iqhunk
Knowflake Posts: 2132
From: Chennai
Registered: Oct 2005
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posted April 01, 2006 01:32 AM
That is a wonderful letter. Do send it VAA, but I suggest you remove this part:<<I just wish I understoodwhy you have cut me off an stopped talking in any way to me...I really don't know why. Did I say or do something wrong? I can't figure it out and believe me, I've tried. Please just let me know. I am truly sorry if I have hurt or offended you in any way, for that was never my intention. You are a very important person to me. If there is anything bothering you, know that no matter what, I am always here, to talk, to listen, whatever you need, Brian. I feel like I've lost you and I don't want to do that. >> If you dont, he may turn into an emotional vampire in the future and re-enter your life at the wrong time. By thanking him without any other promise, you set up a positive Karmic loop for you. It may even change him into a better person, God knows.
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lotusheartone
Knowflake Posts: 238
From: MOther & Father GOd
Registered: Feb 2008
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posted April 01, 2006 01:37 AM
Ighunk..your an axhole..who do you think you are..MR.Big Stuff. ...I think people are getting carried away with their ego's.. no one can tell you what to do , But your Self... that is what I have learned. ... IP: Logged |
shop22much
Knowflake Posts: 970
From: you said hello
Registered: Apr 2005
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posted April 01, 2006 01:47 AM
LOL lotus....i agree with follow your heart and everything, but ihunk has a point...people out there will use your love against you..i know its easy to say "do what you want" but sometimes doing what we want isnt always healthy, and just because we want and can let someone know how we feel...doesnt mean we should..especially with his sort of behavior....anyways..I wouldnt send him anything, no goodbyes because its too easy at a moment of weakness to find yourself saying"hello" again..when you try to force someone out of your mind, and life...the harder it seems....just take it step by step, take a deep breath, and ignore him....i tend to get over men easily unless i fall hard...which you sound like you have...give it time...IP: Logged |
lotusheartone
Knowflake Posts: 238
From: MOther & Father GOd
Registered: Feb 2008
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posted April 01, 2006 01:52 AM
again for the billionith time..go witin..and find your own truth..really..I am so tired of reading all this crap..WTF..what more can anyOne tell you..God is within..follow the spirit that is you..and don't listen to all the axhole's here..for they are many..and I am sick of it. ...I love you all anyway..all equally..and I pray everyday..without fail..that we all wake up. ... IP: Logged |
Virgo-AriesArtist
Knowflake Posts: 1409
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001
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posted April 01, 2006 04:14 PM
lotusheartone...I guess I opened that can of worms here by posting the letter...perhaps, my mistake. I guess I just needed to put out there in the universe, for my own sake. Writing the letter is something I needed to do, not for him, but for me. I needed to recap what I loved most about the trip to give me some perspective...whether he needs to hear it or remember it is irrelevant. It's part of my healing, my closure, if that is what is has to be or is meant to be. Right now, I have a gaping wound, and that is not easy for me. Besides, I dropped it in the mail yesterday, so it's already on its way to PR, and him, more than likely not arriving til next wednesday, maybe sooner, who knows? It is being expressed, in an non-descript-looking envelope. This Mercury Retrograde has been a tough, but necessary one for me. I have started taking care of me again, running almost every day, taking back my sense of sElf. I am working towards my optimum life, being strong and full of loving energy, and plenty of white light to share.
Thank you for the , I send some all your ways too...  ------------------
-K
"...poetry is the subtle alchemy of a sensitive soul like hell it is poetry is what squeezes out of you
when you've been squashed by Life, like a bug" ~Gooberz IP: Logged |
26taurus
Knowflake Posts: 13411
From: *
Registered: Jun 2004
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posted April 01, 2006 04:28 PM
Have faith. You are where you need to be. And yes, take care of You.  IP: Logged |
lotusheartone
Knowflake Posts: 238
From: MOther & Father GOd
Registered: Feb 2008
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posted April 01, 2006 05:46 PM
Virgo-AriesArtist...I don't think you did anything wrong..I think you following your heart..and opening up is awesome..all I wanted to stress was..to follow your heart..and go within..and let yourSelf guide you..outside advice..is all it is..outside..you are inside..and you are the only one who can steer yourSelf to where you need to be..ask God Universe a question..and you will see..that..that question will be answered..magically..we just need to pay attention..sending lots of Love. ...IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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