posted March 31, 2006 02:55 AM         

A lot has been happening to me and the people in my life for the last month, especially for the last week (I'm sure this is true for many, considering all of the recent intense astrological aspects) But the major lesson that I have had to learn, or rather, and I am working on learning, is to nurture and strengthen my warrior spirit...the part of my spirit that is strong, independent, and courageous. I am a a yes-man; a self-sacrificer for the sake of making everyone else happy. I am also a phychic empath, and the last few weeks a person came into my life who totally drained me of all the loving and healing energy that I have to give (which is a lot) for myself and for others. It was a radical feeling of being robbed of the energy that I had to give. It was a terrible experience, from which I am still recovering. If it weren't for my aries sun/leo asc/aries moon mother I would probably still be in the vortex of giving (or rather allowing myself to be taken from) all my loving and healing energy away.

Anyway, back to the point. I know that I have a great strenght in myself, and I have had to summon it in the past, but not for these reasons. In the past I have had to use my strenght and courage to overcome some terrible darkness that had overtaken me for a while. But now, I am having trouble because it seems like honey attracts flies...like everyone is licking ther jowls, eager for my energy. I must put myself into a place where i remember the sacredness of my soul and my energy, and that it is not selfish to nurture and protect it until the appropriate time and place. But because of my actions to take care of myself and do what is best for myself I have alienated many people...because many of the people in my life are takers, and rate my according to how much I have to offer. They claim to respect me, but then if I do not satisfy and fufill or serve their selfish needs, I am no longer worthy..or something stupid like that. The funny thing is, I have a tremendous amount to offer..

So basically I am asking this, how is it that I can learn to protect myself and give to myself, and give to others when it is appropriate...Right now I feel like I am casting my pearls beneath the swine and they are trampling them before me. In short, I know what I need to do, but I could greatly appreciate some advice as to how to go about doing it. So far I have merely meditated and prayed about it a bit.

posted March 31, 2006 09:08 AM         

Your life, your mandates.
You know what you will and will not accept.
Good for you!
In terms of giving and taking.. there wouldn't be givers without takers, so everyone fills a role. It fluctuates at any moment, depending on circumstance.. but if you have identified what drains you and what nurtures you, then all you can do is live within that mindset and adapt to it if you need to.

posted April 01, 2006 01:34 AM         

This is from Osho Transformation Tarot:

Worth

On the virtues of uselessness

Don't be bothered too much about utilitarian ends. Rather, constantly remember that you are not here in life to become a commodity. You are not here to become a utility--that is below dignity. You are not here just to become more and more efficient--you are here to become more and more alive; you are here to become more and more intelligent; you are here to become more and more happy, ecstatically happy.

Lao Tzu was traveling with his disciples and they came to a forest where hundreds of carpenters were cutting trees, because a great palace was being built.

Almost the whole forest had been cut, but one tree was standing there, a big tree with thousands of branches--so big that ten thousand persons could sit under its shade. Lao Tzu asked his disciples to go and inquire why this tree had not been cut yet, when the whole forest had been cut and was deserted.

The disciples went and they asked the carpenters, "Why have you not cut this tree?"

The carpenters said, "This tree is absolutely useless. You cannot make anything out of it because every branch has so many knots in it. Nothing is straight. You cannot make pillars out of it, you cannot make furniture out of it. You cannot use it as fuel because the smoke is so dangerous to the eyes--you almost go blind. This tree is absolutely useless. That's why."

They came back. Lao Tzu laughed and he said, "Be like this tree. If you want to survive in this world be like this tree--absolutely useless. Then nobody will harm you. If you are straight you will be cut, you will become furniture in somebody's house. If you are beautiful you will be sold in the market, you will become a commodity. Be like this tree, absolutely useless. Then nobody can harm you. And you will grow big and vast, and thousands of people can find shade under you."

Lao Tzu has a logic altogether different from your mind. He says: Be the last. Move in the world as if you are not. Remain unknown. Don't try to be the first, don't be competitive, don't try to prove your worth. There is no need. Remain useless and enjoy.

Of course he is impractical. But if you understand him you will find that he is the most practical on a deeper layer, in the depth--because life is to enjoy and celebrate, life is not to become a utility. Life is more like poetry than like a commodity in the market; it should be like poetry, a song, a dance.

Lao Tzu says: If you try to be very clever, if you try to be very useful, you will be used. If you try to be very practical, somewhere or other you will be harnessed, because the world cannot leave the practical man alone. Lao Tzu says: Drop all these ideas. If you want to be a poem, an ecstasy, then forget about utility. Remain true to yourself.

______________

Perhaps being completely useless is a bit extreme, but I believe what helps (and seems what pix was saying) is awareness.
Remaining alert to shifting senses out to others. Observe their need. Is it virtuous? Or is it manipulative and self-serving?
Do you feel a back and forth flow of energy when in the presence of this person?
If you remain alert to any feelings of drainings on you, you can retreat before it becomes too self-damaging to your spirit.

Also...the heart is a precious gift.
As such, it should be treated with reverence and doled protectively. YOUR heart. Their is nothing selfish in being selective in where you place it. In the larger picture, it is always benefitial in the end.
Inspiration fuels inspiration.
Love flows Love.
With a flowwwwwwwwing...a continuous movement, or dance. If or when you feel the flow break or hit dead ends, try to keep faith that such action of retreat is needed and timely...for a reason. (Most often the reason will be, that what the person needs most direly of all, is to face their woe alone...giving them the confidence in their own fortitude.)

For what is more truly worthy of your gifts may need you ever more. And would most willingly do the same for you.

posted April 01, 2006 01:56 AM         

~Sowelu~

You may see fit to withdraw, or even to retreat in the face of a pressing situation, especially if events or people are demanding that you expend your energy now. Know that such a retreat is a retreat in strength, a voyage inward for centering, for balance.
Timely retreat is among the skills of the Spiritual Warrior.

posted April 04, 2006 04:39 AM         

Your post -- incredible. really, THANK YOU. I totally needed that.

Mysteryclub~ darlin'...I know just how you feel. I'm on the same journey. Best of luck, check in and let us know how you're doing.

posted April 04, 2006 10:57 AM         

Hope you'll both return sometime to share your journeys and how you're fairing.