posted May 11, 2006 12:15 PM         

If you send this to just one person, it should make it all the way around
the world by Mother's Day.

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in
their arms, wiping up puke laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry
Kool-Aid saying, "It's okay honey, Mommy's here."

Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who
can't be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair
and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween
costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the
mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their
refrigerator doors. And for those cheer mothers whose daughters happiness
comes one unfallen stunt and one unbusted standing tuck at a time.

And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football
or soccer games (or in the EE parent room) instead of watching from the
warmth of their cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see
me, Mom?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the
world," and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and
swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream
before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but
realize how child abuse happens.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained
all about making babies. And for all the (grand) mothers who wanted to, but
just couldn't find the words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat.

For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year.
And then read it again. "Just one more time."

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces
before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro
instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters
to sink a jump shot.

This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice
calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at
home -- or even away at college.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach
aches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get
calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them
up, right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the
words to reach them.

For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14 year
olds dye their hair green.

For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the
mothers of those who did the shooting.

For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their
TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and
now pray they come home safely from a war.

What makes a good Mother anyway?

Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook
dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?

Or is it in her heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or
daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very
first time?

The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to
put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?

The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to
hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home?

Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear
news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young
mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation...

And mature mothers learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.

Single mothers and married mothers.

Mothers with money, mothers without.

This is for you all. For all of us

Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can. Tell them every
day that we love them. And pray.

Please pass this to a wonderful mother (or her child) that you know.

(I just did)

posted May 11, 2006 12:37 PM         

MOM - JOB DESCRIPTION

This is funny.
If it had been presented this way, no one would have done it!

POSITION :
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the
next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

posted May 11, 2006 01:13 PM         

Weve had mothers day here in Ireland....but I would like to take the opportunity to say I LOVE YOU to my mammy. She is 81, I spoke to her today and she sounded so pleased to hear from me.....

posted May 15, 2006 10:04 AM         

Love the Job Description of a mother that you posted,Kamilla. It's so true.

I think that Erma Bombeck had the greatest comeback I ever heard to the child who tells you, " I didn't ask to be born." Her reply was, " It's a good thing you didn't because you would have been turned down." lmao A sense of humor helps a lot in raising kids I think. For both Moms and Dads.