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Author
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Topic: Office Memo
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1scorp
Knowflake Posts: 2251
From:
Registered: Feb 2003
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posted May 16, 2006 01:25 PM
 
All of you know what I'm talking about... we all get these goofy things in the office. One was finally worth keeping. 
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
S.H.I.T.
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from all employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of:
Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.) We are trying to give all employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T., please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T. that you can handle. Employees who don't take S.H.I.T. will be placed on the Departmental Employee Evaluation Program (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. will have to attend Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to take S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T. If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in training others. We refer your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for a promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.). If you have any further questions, please direct them to our Head of Training (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.). Thank You, Boss in General (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.) __________________________________________
Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranus
Libra moon, pluto, and asc. IP: Logged |
Kamilla
Knowflake Posts: 860
From: NJ USA
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted May 16, 2006 01:42 PM
CLASSIC!! Our entire office is rolling on the floorOh, and BTW A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has
discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read
their e-mail/ board posts with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late....lol IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 6485
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted May 16, 2006 02:08 PM
Thanks, 1scorp!!
This one's going to make the rounds at our office now   Zala IP: Logged |
Moon666Child
Knowflake Posts: 2025
From:
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted May 16, 2006 02:10 PM
being the boss.............................------------------
Welcome Home to GhostVillage IP: Logged |
1scorp
Knowflake Posts: 2251
From:
Registered: Feb 2003
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posted May 16, 2006 02:31 PM
Glad you enjoyed.  My first reaction was to take my hand off from the mouse also Awww Moon: The boss is the one who handed it out. Aries sun
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Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranus
Libra moon, pluto, and asc. IP: Logged |
Moon666Child
Knowflake Posts: 2025
From:
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted May 16, 2006 02:58 PM
 ------------------
Welcome Home to GhostVillage IP: Logged |
Kamilla
Knowflake Posts: 860
From: NJ USA
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted May 16, 2006 04:25 PM
I am actually the H.O.T...lol. No, seriously Of course, after I passed the memo above to our employees I was able to take the rest of the day off. 
IP: Logged |
future_uncertain
Knowflake Posts: 2681
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted May 16, 2006 04:57 PM
Love it.
And funny about the mouse, too.
For a second I felt so busted!IP: Logged |
Yang
Knowflake Posts: 2296
From: A temporary home
Registered: May 2004
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posted May 16, 2006 09:19 PM
full of S.H.I.TIP: Logged |
Kamilla
Knowflake Posts: 860
From: NJ USA
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted May 20, 2006 06:42 PM
I just wanted to report that after the first session of S.H.I.T. our employees complained to US Department of Labor and from now on the government requires to sustitute it with Workplace Hazards Orientation Guide Including Vacation Eligibility Seminar AND Special High Intensity Training -
W.H.O.G.I.V.E.S.A.S.H.I.T.
Also, our boss, the B.I.G.S.H.I.T. was demoted to Legal Information Temporary Team Leader Elected Tri-County Unemployment Regulations Deputy
L.I.T.T.L.E.T.U.R.D.IP: Logged |
DayDreamer
Knowflake Posts: 4841
From:
Registered: Jul 2003
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posted May 21, 2006 01:48 AM
Good one 1scorp ...that one's getting forwarded!!IP: Logged |
1scorp
Knowflake Posts: 2251
From:
Registered: Feb 2003
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posted May 23, 2006 09:37 AM
"Workplace Hazards Orientation Guide Including Vacation Eligibility Seminar AND Special High Intensity Training -
W.H.O.G.I.V.E.S.A.S.H.I.T."
You added to it... Ahhhh... Thanks for the morning laugh.
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Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranus
Libra moon, pluto, and asc.
IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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