posted May 26, 2006 01:20 PM         

I just.... need some help. Like I really think I need some help. Practically every post I've posted at all on this Forum or Soul Unions pretty much explains what I'm going on about I guess.

Short story. I'm stupid. I've done that dumb thing every dumb girl's done at least once. I've got het up in my useless emotions and yep, you guessed it..? Fell for someone. This is the most bizarre and most horrible feeling I've ever had to endure. It's been the best occasionally. Point being- it's all no good. I've wasted my life this year. I've spent an entire year nowgetting my hopes up for something that was never certain and now highly unlikely. What sucks is my situation is really long and complicated to explain. I can't tell anyone everything.

Suffice to say.... oh god, what do I do.
I cannot stop thinking about him. I actually realistically fear for sanity now. God I'm actually off my rocker. What do I do? Ok, so no one probably knows. No one can help me. And I've done this all to myself. I'm so so stupid.
Anyone know the name of a good counciller? I can't even be bothered to check the spelling of that word.

posted May 26, 2006 01:44 PM         

if you wanna talk about it privately..

hope it gets better hun...
<3

------------------
give me more Love, or more disdain;
the torrid, or the frozen zone
bring equal ease unto my paine:
the temperate affords me none;
either extreme, of love or hate,
is sweeter than a calme estate
- thomas carew " mediocrity in love rejected"

posted May 26, 2006 02:03 PM         

1 - STOP beating yourself up

2 - STOP thinking you are stupid (when anyone who knows you knows how STUPID you are for thinking you are stupid when you are bloody smart)

3 - Just learn from the experience, madness and all. Who told you falling for someone and being mad were different things??? Same patterns, same feelings, same thoughts....alll lessons to be learned.

4 - Do you honestly know anyone in life who gets this right without making a fool of themselves a few times? (and you may not even be doing that right now)

When people say falling they mean losing control. Losing control means not being in control. Not being in control means being lead by your emotions. Emotions are always more powerful than reason in the short-term. So why crucify yourself with powerless logic AND let the feelings become the enemy.

Remember this, you can never feel anything that you aren't capable of feeling. Which means its all natural. All perfectly OK even when its not and all VERY healthy. They say let the feelings pass and learn from the lesson.

Keep that in mind and your chin up babe.

posted May 26, 2006 02:27 PM         

------------------
give me more Love, or more disdain;
the torrid, or the frozen zone
bring equal ease unto my paine:
the temperate affords me none;
either extreme, of love or hate,
is sweeter than a calme estate
- thomas carew " mediocrity in love rejected"

posted May 26, 2006 02:48 PM         

I get the idea that you've fallen for someone who may not be able to reciprocate - Ouch. The only cure for that is TIME, and most importantly NO CONTACT - this one is a must.

And, one more thing - don't let it become mutated into something negative (vengence, jealously, etc) - because that is the absolute WRONG use of it's power, and will only lead to your own pain and undoing.

Hold on to yourself for the duration of this ride. There is no getting off before it's over.

posted May 26, 2006 07:21 PM         

Love is a form of insanity, luv. But you are a sane and grounded soul, and the only counsellor you need to see is Father Time…..

We all fall some time in our lives for someone who’s either emotionally unavailable, or just plain incompatible, even though the Neptune in us continues to dream its dreams and weave its fantasies. The Heart has reasons that Reason cannot know…..

What did you learn from this experience?? Give yourself a great big hug, pamper yourself for awhile, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Just another hard lesson at SchoolRoom Earth. You are STRONG and you’ll be fine!!

And to emphasize what everyone else has said You Are Not Stupid and You Are Not Off Your Rocker!!! Thank the Powers That Be that you have a fully-functional and loving heart

Take care of yourself, sweetie ~
Zala

posted May 27, 2006 11:24 AM         

shop22much- that is so sweet of you. It's cool you understand.

lotusheartone- Ahh, well, maybe that would be true if there was love involved! But there's no real love here.

Swerve- I'm.... well, touched. Really I am. You managed to make everything sound so sane and good. Thank you.

pixie- it's depth of emotions that creates the pain and no doubt it'll be worse one day. Thank you for posting cos I always kind of find your posts reassuring. You are awesome too.

lioneye- haha no you can't escape can you? The no-contact thing is part of the pain. Because he's tried to stop contacting me in case I lull him into something again. That's part of the sting cos I'm not so sure he maybe still likes me. Possibly the worst thing is that I can't escape him. His band are getting more recognition and pretty soon he could be famous with a million girls telling him he's cute and I'll god damn die. Thanks for the advice btw.

Zala- aww thank you.. yeah, time... I can only hope it passes quickly, as it's gone so slowly for me for so long now!

Yang- Thanks, I shall try.

posted May 28, 2006 07:16 AM         

Ive felt like this lots of times....and often felt there was no one to turn to. Wished I'd had LL and the wonderful ones here who comfort and offer wise words....

Everything passes....often when we have a black cloud above our heads or feel that we are in a dark deep hole....we tend to forget one thing....

Everything passes...and you never know whats around the corner.....

love and hugs to you......

posted May 29, 2006 01:47 PM         

Charlotte, hi, thanks I needed that hug! And, well, all there is to do is hang I guess.