Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005

posted November 06, 2006 05:27 PM         

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Some one sent this to me.

Being A Mom

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that
she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."

"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should
have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more
spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to
decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn
in childbirth classes.

I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal,
but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that
she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper
without asking, "What if that had been MY child?"

That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she
sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be
worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that
no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to
the, primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call
of "Mom!"will cause her to drop a souffli or her best crystal without a
moments hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has
invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by
motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be
going into an important business meeting and she will think of her
baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from
running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be
routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room
rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That
right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues
of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect
that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess
herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually
she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same
about her self.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she
has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her
offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to
accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will
become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband
will change, but not in the way she thinks.

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is
careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his
child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for
reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women
throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk
driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child
learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a
baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I
want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in
my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across
the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for
her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into
this, most wonderful of callings.

Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends
who may someday be Moms. May you always have in your arms the one who
is in your heart.

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Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted November 06, 2006 05:52 PM         

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Oh thanks Blue...I so relate to this...especially this part...

"I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal,
but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that
she will forever be vulnerable"

How very true this is.....I had NO idea who I really was, till I became a mother...

When my own mother said to me "you will never be the same again" I didnt understand what she meant.

Oh my......I do NOW!!!

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Posts: 3291
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted November 06, 2006 06:08 PM         

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bless you Bluemoon

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Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005

posted November 06, 2006 07:57 PM         

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Posts: 1140
From:
Registered: Oct 2003

posted November 06, 2006 08:06 PM         

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i am not a mom.
it made me cry. alot.

MK

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Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005

posted November 06, 2006 08:10 PM         

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Sorry to make you cry, Mother.

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Posts: 6485
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted November 06, 2006 08:26 PM         

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quote:

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I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be
routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room
rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That
right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues
of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect
that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

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Oh God, do I remember this one..... it's so hard to let them go -- to unknown and possibly dangerous public restrooms, the heart-wrenching first day of kindergarten, watching them ride off (a bit wobbly) down the street to a friend's for the first time on their bike..... I ache for my son that his father did not want to be a part of these "first" moments.....

Thanks for posting blue!!
{{love & hugs}} Zala

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Posts: 153
From:
Registered: Jul 2006

posted November 06, 2006 09:03 PM         

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That was beautiful and so true.

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Posts: 3031
From: Paradise
Registered: Mar 2004

posted November 06, 2006 09:35 PM         

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those things're true of being a dad too.......

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Posts: 3521
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted November 06, 2006 10:15 PM         

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Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted November 07, 2006 04:32 AM         

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"""" I ache for my son that his father did not want to be a part of these "first" moments.....""""

Zala.....

Crying now...

Petron a giving Virgo I am sure you are..

xxx

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Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005

posted November 07, 2006 02:07 PM         

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Posts: 1382
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Jan 2004

posted November 08, 2006 12:10 AM         

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So beautiful, and so very true. Thank you.

'Zala - I was a single mom since my son was 3, so I can relate to this.

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