posted February 09, 2007 08:41 AM         

Why do women use sex as a weapon? (PumPum Power)

On yesterday's blog about a woman's rage, the following was said by
Empress Kathryn

"As to the matter of a woman scorned, I think we know a lot about this, if we think about it. How many of you women have withheld sex because you were angry? I have and I think that most women have. It is not always a matter of a "headache." It may just be that we are mad. It could be that we are tired because we have been dealing with the house, job and kids all day, but it could also be that you men didn't come home and help out and so we are a little ticked off at you. It could be that you forgot our birthday or anniversary and we want you to "pay" a little."

I think Kathryn is correct. Do I agree with women for doing that? I will answer like Dawn Penn "No No No". If the man is cheating, then yes, send him back to the woman he was cheating with, that's fair enough. But sometimes a woman punishes her man and the punishment does not even fit the crime. For example, if it's a man's turn to cook, but he did not, maybe he got caught up watching football, the woman have all right to be mad but withholding sex as a punishment should not even be thought of. A fair punishment would be for the woman to not cook when her turn to cook comes around again. I mean, what does food have to do with sex? (If you are a Bow Cat, no answer for that question is required). Seriously though ladies, use your power but don't abuse it. Furthermore the tactics you used with your boyfriend when you were younger should not be carried forward to your husband or man now that you are more mature. Let girls be girls and women be women.

Forgetting a birthday or an anniversary is the same thing. If your husband or man forgets your birthday then return the favor when his birthday comes around. Don't punish him when he comes to bed that night.

Ladies, if you use sex as a weapon sometimes, make sure the punishment always fits the crime. Don't abuse the power of the PumPum.

posted February 09, 2007 09:18 AM         

The best to you as you continue to learn about women and life.

posted February 09, 2007 09:47 AM         

quote:

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Why do women use sex as a weapon? (PumPum Power)

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well men are aroused visually; so for some women, they use it as a tool of manipulation, and yes the will use it, the reality is a lot of women are selfish and mean, especially when they don't appear to be.

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Virgo Rising 8'57, Sagittarius Sun/4thH 3'26, Pisces Moon/6thH 8'22

"Our passions are not too strong, they are too weak. We are far too easily pleased." - C.S. Lewis

posted February 09, 2007 10:50 AM         

The things you mentioned are all perfect reasons to not open ourselves to someone. Any good woman would behave the same way. But, yes, there are women who will take advantage of that. They will get upset over nothing. They will use is as leverage - not to be treated as equals, but, to receive special treatment, and to control you and get you to do things that are above and beyond what can be expected. They use it to limit your freedom. I dont think sex should be used to bargain with for other things in the relationship. Usually, women have all the bargaining chips (not always, - I've been on the other side of that one a few times). I guess, it isnt a problem if it is a question of granting more sex, but, when it is about withholding sex which would otherwise be usual for the couple, that is messed up, lol. If it is like, "I will have more sex than usual, if we can watch Desperate Housewives instead of that show that we both like," that would be a fair trade, lol. But, if its like, "If you dont let me watch Desperate Housewives, instead of that show we both like, I am not having sex with you for a week." That's bad news.

I think, to some extent, it is very subjective, and depends a lot on the individual. Male or female, nobody should be expected to have sex under any conditions, and certainly not when the person is upset. So, what happens when your partner is miserable and upset for most of the time? Do you blame them, and pressure them to have sex, even though they are miserable? No. You try to cheer them up. Hopefully, you would try to do this anyway, because you want your partner to be happy, not just because you want to get your di** wet. If you find that you cannot cheer this person up, and they wont get on antidepressants or anything, you have three choices. 1. Get a divorce, find a less angry person 2. Cheat 3. resign yourself to a miserable marriage with an angry, frigid person. I think the last two are inadmissable for obvious reasons. I would opt for the 1st.

posted February 09, 2007 11:31 AM         

In relationships, this is just a power play. People, oth men and women, often don't know how to have a relationship without it devolving into one power play over another, and this is just an example of it. It's just emotionally and spiritual immaturity.

Besides, men use sex as a weapon too. It's just we live in a society that assumes men want sex more than women, so if the woman "controls" the sex, she thinks she has a way to manipulate the man.

posted February 09, 2007 02:23 PM         

I can understand why sex may not take place under any of the conditions listed in the original post.

However... I know a girl who makes deals with her man (we go shopping tomorrow and you can have sex tonight) and I find that a bit strange. I couldn't utilize sexual relations in this manner, but to each his own, I guess.

posted February 09, 2007 05:18 PM         

future,

It is a very personal thing, but, speaking for myself, I think sex can be "just sex", sometimes. It doesnt always have to be making love. I think two people can be comfortable with seeing it as another form of energy exchange. The important thing is to make the trade fair, so that neither person feels like they are begrudging something to the other person unwillingly. We all do things to make each other happy, and we all do things which we are not inspired to do for their own sakes, but for the sake of something else. But, like I said, I realize it is a matter of personal taste. I dont think I would be comfortable with "just sex" in a relationship, unless there were also plenty of moments of true, romantic intimacy. The more sacred moments there are, the more comfortable I am with "profane" ones.

hsc

posted February 09, 2007 09:34 PM         

quote:

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when women are upset, they shut down, and sex is usually the last thing on their minds.

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So true!

posted February 10, 2007 06:34 AM         

Usually have mother issues...

posted February 10, 2007 06:35 AM         

Hahaha....

That goes for women too....especially Scorpio ones !!!!

Dont deny me of sex....or else you might just

DIE!!!