posted May 22, 2007 09:04 AM         

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog? On impulse, I told her that
no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet
again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened
in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food
is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the
dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an
Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he
was laughing so hard!

WALMART WON'T let me shop there anymore